Bella's Hymen Theory
by SwanCullen12
Summary: Bella theorizes her hymen is connected with heartbreak so she asked housemate and buddy Edward to help her get rid of it. Edward's reply? Hell no!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: SM owned everything Twilight-related. I owned nothing.

Reposted chapter :) As I said, I wrote this for another site but I moved on from that. Fan Fiction is fun :)

Thank you to my amazing beta Izzzyy. Love you Iz :)

* * *

Chapter 1

"Spaghetti with meatballs? Something is not right."

Completely ignoring his comment, Bella Swan continued grating cheese over her pasta. "Want some?"

"Maybe later," her roommate, Edward Cullen, replied, sitting on one of the four kitchen stools attached to the breakfast bar. "Heidi demanded a five-course meal, which she enjoyed with gusto, and no amount of dancing and sex can digest it off completely."

"She has that much of an appetite and yet looks that gorgeous? Sheer talent," Bella concluded with a pensive sigh then started eating. "Of course, no calorie would dare touch her. Some people are lucky that way. Luck. Hah. Where's luck when you needed it, anyway? Or do only perfect people have it? Friggin' favoritism."

Edward merely gave her a look. The kind of look that asked _'what the hell is going on with you?'_ yet Bella chose to ignore it. The last thing she wanted to do right then was to remember Eric. And what he was doing inside his apartment when she arrived. It didn't take a genius to know what the groaning and moaning meant. Especially when punctuated with a woman's screams of _'Oh Yesssss! More! Deeper! Yesssss Eric!'_ But she stupidly decided to open the door using the key he'd given her a month before, hoping against hope to see something completely different, like Eric watching porn where the actor just happened to have the same name. But when she walked in, that hope vanished. Eric, in all his naked glory, was mounted over someone like a dog in heat, undoubtedly getting it on with a familiar-looking blonde on the carpeted floor of his living room. His eyes were closed and he was grunting so loudly he did not even hear her come in. And Bella just stood there clutching her chest in disbelief. It felt like everything suddenly appeared in slow motion. Even Eric's thrusting could have been funny if her heart hadn't been breaking. She lost whatever voice she had and couldn't even manage a yelp of protest.

God, she was such a loser.

"No you're not."

Bella glanced at Edward and realized that she'd actually said that aloud. To her housemate, who had never − not even once − experienced that sort of thing. Women gravitated towards him like moths to a flame. Tall, leanly muscular and movie-star gorgeous, Edward would always be the quintessential hunk. One look at the man's unexplainable-but-definitely-chick-magnet bronze hair, or his piercing green eyes fringed with unbelievably long and thick eyelashes, and the female species all over the planet would go nuts. He could literally have anyone he wanted, and right then the chosen one was a French-American goddess, known to most as supermodel Heidi Bradley. Her bikini-clad body had been on numerous billboards and magazine covers for everyone to see and her hand-me-downs sold for thousands of dollars on E-bay.

Besides their complementing perfect looks, the couple apparently enjoyed a fantastic sex life as well. The model bragged about it in _FHM_, calling Edward her very own Energizer Bunny.

Bella snorted at the thought. Of course. Favoritism, remember? The perfect ones would often be the lucky ones in everything and anything. Like being famous, eating too much without gaining any weight, having a fabulous sex life...yada, yada, yada. _I'm so bitter. God!_

Jessica, her researcher/friend, endlessly teased Bella about having an "Energizer Bunny" for a roommate. Of course, beneath the teasing, Jessica was just plain envious. As expected, her researcher was into Edward too. So much so that Jess would insist on dropping by her place almost daily and would stay until the wee hours of the morning, hoping Bella would ask her to sleep over which would never happen. Unbeknownst to her researcher, Bella and Edward had a couple of Housemate Agreements – and Rule Number One was _No Sleep Overs Of Any Kind_. Translation: No lover, family or friends were allowed to spend the night. Simply put, kindly have sex in your lover's house, not here. If either of them had a relative coming, they booked him/her/them a hotel. If a friend was in crisis, they were to be supportive somewhere else.

The agreement may have sounded cold, but it worked. The house was their sacred place, and it would always remain that way. It's not like their arrangement wasn't unusual enough as it was. A man and a woman not romantically involved but living in one house, up to this day, remained a constant curiosity among their respective peers; the male dominated group of Edward's friends, mostly people from the bar and a couple of sports pals he remained in contact with, and Bella's writer and publisher friends. An ex-NFL Quarterback turned bar-owner and a children's book author sharing a house would often be questioned. Add the gender and personality differences and it was quite mind-boggling, but they did get along – better than everybody expected.

Who would have thought that a random ad she published three years ago would bring someone like Edward? Bella had lived alone after her parents moved to Florida and sold their family home. The Swans were originally from Forks, Washington, but when her Dad retired from being the town's Chief of Police and opted to live in a warmer climate, for his arthritis he jokingly told her, they decided to move to Jacksonville, where Renee's only brother Phil and his family lived. They didn't leave her high and dry, though. They ensured that their only child was settled comfortably by buying her a two-bedroom apartment in Seattle as a graduation gift.

The purchase didn't even make a dent in her mother's inheritance. The Dwyer twins (as her Dad fondly called her Mom and Uncle Phil) decided to sell the chain of convenience stores that they inherited from their own parents and split the money. Then they all went vacationing in Europe. Bella fondly smiled recalling how much fun that was. She suddenly missed Alice, her cousin who was in Paris working as a designer for Louis Vuitton. Life was more fun with Alice around.

It had been her cousin's fault that she'd gotten a male housemate in the first place. Alice volunteered to place the ad for her when she told her how lonely living alone could be, especially now with Charlie and Renee living in another state. She'd gotten used to sharing a room with someone back in college. To actually own a big house with just her, well, it drove Bella nuts. Imagine her surprise when a week later Edward came knocking on her door asking to talk to her boyfriend _Izzy Swan_.

Right.

Whatever evil thought that prompted Alice to write her name as Izzy instead of Bella on that ad had brought her Edward Cullen. Admittedly Bella hadn't thought about the possibility of having a male roomie, but there was something about the ex-NFL player that made her feel at ease. Maybe it was Edward's way of looking directly into her eyes when they talked. It could also be because her Dad, who was an excellent judge of character, was a huge fan of the injured NFL player. Whatever the exact reason was, she immediately liked him. The no-malice, totally platonic kind of like.

He was apologetic when she told him she was Izzy and she was the one looking for a housemate. Edward told her that if she was willing to accept a male roomie, and if it wouldn't cause her any awkwardness or discomfort, he would really like to push through renting. He was willing to accommodate any conditions on her part. Apparently his about-to-open bar was just a block away from her apartment and the second floor of the building he bought, which he originally planned on renovating to be his home, became a much-needed stock and supply room instead. His dwindling funds ruled out buying a place of his own, and he would die before asking for help from his parents. Oh-kay. Touchy subject, moving on.

She told him she'd _think about it_. Also known as seeking advice from Alice and her parents.

Alice said: _"Hell yeah! Live a little, Bella."_

Renee asked if he was as handsome in person as he appeared to be on TV. Go Mom. Way to prioritize your concerns.

Charlie was more practical, at least after gushing over Edward for a full minute: _"I'll call in a favor and run a background check on him, and then I'll get back to you, sweetie."_

Sheesh. But she was always a Daddy's girl, so she waited. And when he assured her that Edward had not murdered, raped or molested anybody, she got her answer. It didn't hurt that nobody else came to see the house. So Edward moved in a week later, and they'd been living together ever since.

Perfection and loser, together under one roof.

Bella sighed. "I am."

"You are not a loser, Bella," Edward insisted, reaching over her plate to pick up a meatball and take a small bite of it. He made an appreciative sound as he chewed. Bella's spaghetti with meatballs was out of this world.

Pushing her plate towards Edward, the brunette pleadingly groaned. "Please ignore me."

"Meaning you don't want to talk about it, huh?"

She watched him eat for a full minute before answering."I'd most likely blab about it non-stop for days anyway, being the over-analytic psycho that I am, but not now. It still hurts too much."

Edward wisely shut his mouth. Three years of living together let him know the woman beside him really well, and the way to handle an upset Bella was to give her some "quiet time." He gave Bella's plate his undivided attention for a while, ignoring his still-full stomach's protests. When everything was all gobbled up, he straightened and unceremoniously reached out to give the all-too-silent woman beside him a hug.

Quiet time was over.

Bella, as if on cue, burst into tears. Edward patiently listened as she cried her eyes out and haltingly talked about Eric Yorkie. Eric was her two-timing boyfriend whom she caught doing it with his next door neighbor. Out of respect for her, he kept his opinion of Eric to himself, but he did think Bella could do better than a dull accountant who sniffed weirdly and "resembled that funny guy in Ally McBeal," to quote Bella's quirky researcher, Jessica. Contrary to how she saw herself, Bella was very pretty. The long, naturally wavy dark-brown hair and chocolate-brown eyes, plus her alabaster skin, were a deadly combination. One could get lost in those tresses and eyes. And Bella had a perfect complexion; Heidi had told him weeks ago, after meeting Bella for the first time, that she could model for Neutrogena. Some of his male friends actually wanted to date her, but aside from the obvious fact that she was taken, Edward wouldn't have any of it. He knew those men well − so well that he was keeping Bella as far away from them as possible.

"You know, I have a theory about why Eric cheated on me."

Looking down at Bella's tear-stained face, Edward mentally braced himself for what was to come. His housemate did indeed have a tendency to dwell too much on subjects that needn't be taken seriously. In his opinion, Eric had actually done Bella a favor. Then again, that was his opinion and he was thinking like a man. To a woman in love, getting cheated on was like a million slaps in the face.

"And what is that?" He regretted the question the minute the first word emerged from his mouth. _Do not encourage her to expound on that, you idiot!  
_  
"It has everything to do with my unbroken hymen," Bella replied with a loud sniff before moving out of his embrace.

_God, no_. Not this stuff. He was the last person that Bella should be talking to when it comes to this!

Edward tried to recall every single female friend of hers that he could call but failed. The quirky Jessica fleetingly crossed his mind but he immediately nixed it. Most likely she'd tell Bella to sleep around and to hell with Eric. The latter part was a good enough suggestion but to have random sex just to prove a point to a cheating boyfriend was not. Her cousin Alice came to Edward's mind but again Alice often complained about Bella's single-mindedness with her commitment to Eric. So there was a high chance she too would advise Bella to take the revenge sex route. He cleared his throat uneasily. It was during these situations he wished he had siblings.

"Eric, obviously, was in need of a more intimate relationship with a woman. And Lauren Mallory lived conveniently close and was willing to give it to him. So he cheated," Bella continued, looking at nothing in particular, too engrossed with her thoughts to notice how uneasy the man beside her was. "Why would he stay loyal to a girlfriend whose idea of passion was a tongueless kiss when he could bang his next door neighbor whenever?"

Edward cringed a little hearing too much information about a subject that he preferred to not know at all. He couldn't even imagine Bella and Eric kissing. "Um, Bella...I don−"

"He did try to touch me you know. Under my blouse one time while we were watching a movie but I got so nervous I actually slapped his wandering hand away," the woman interrupted. "Of course if I didn't have this friggin hymen I would've gladly let him grope me. Perhaps even inside my bra."

Edward wanted to cover his ears and hum loudly like a child who refused to listen. "Are you by any chance _drunk_?"

Bella finally turned to give him a look. "No! I don't drink, remember, because I'm allergic to liquor of any kind."

_Right. Damn_. "What exactly is your point? That your hymen is the reason why Eric cheated?"

"Yes!" the brunette vehemently agreed, "Because it's the vagina's _conscience_!"

Edward wished _he_ was drunk. "Bella I'm not the right−"

"On the contrary, you are the perfect person to talk about this," Bella interrupted once again, holding both of his hands to most likely trap him into listening to her talk about her fucking hymen. It was either that, or she somehow sensed his plan to cover his ears and hum loudly.

"You see, Edward, between you and I, you're the one with the most experience. Duh, heartbroken virgin in the room." She managed to roll her eyes at him before continuing her crazy rant, "And you will never lie to me so answer this: Let's say you meet two different women in your bar, both gorgeous, both sexy, both willing to have sex with you. But the catch is one of them is a virgin. Who will you choose to bed?"

"If a great fuck is just what I'm looking for, I'd choose the non-virgin. But if I'm looking for a possible hook-up that can turn into a relationship, I'd _still_ choose the non-virgin."

"Figures." Bella nodded. "That's exactly my point, Edward! Eric obviously had the relationship thing going with me, but a great f...er, sexual partner I'm not. So he strayed. I couldn't give him the physical side that he was craving because I still have my hymen intact. And the _hymen_ urged me to do the right thing, however outdated it may sound, and that was to have it broken during my wedding night. Not only did my hymen guard my virginity, it also served as the conscience that nagged me to do the right thing."

Over thinking was never good.

"Hate to ruin your hymen theory, Bella, but I think the reason why you couldn't do it with Eric was because you didn't really love him."

"Of course I love him!" She paused for a minute then made a face. "_Loved_ him I mean."

"Right, that's why you couldn't even French kiss the man." Not that he could blame Bella for it. No woman in her right mind would French kiss Eric. He sighed.

"Basically you're just not ready yet for physical intimacy. Just accept it."

Bella let go of his hands. "It's my _hymen_, Edward. I tell you; once it's broken everything _will _fall into place. Even French kissing _will_ feel right."

"So follow your hymen and go marry someone and get rid of it," he told her exasperated with the topic.

"No."

"No, what?"

"No, I won't marry ASAP. What a ridiculous thought! Have you been listening at all? The boyfriend cheated on me, I'm completely heartbroken and I'm gonna do something about it," Bella exclaimed with a determined nod then straightened. "I'll just bid adieu to my hymen."

Edward gave her a look as if she'd grown two heads or something. "What?"

"I'll lose my virginity and live unafraid from now on. With a broken hymen, I'd be free to enjoy my sexuality to the fullest. No more holding back, no more slapping of wandering hands... and yes, a date filled with lots and lots of French kissing too."

Now why would that bother him? It shouldn't, really. She was twenty-four years old, for fuck's sake. She could do whatever she wanted. And if French kissing every minute or fucking senseless whoever she fancied was the lesson she learned from a failed relationship, then so be it.

_So be it. _

Bella needn't look too hard for willing partners, though; within his group of friends alone they would certainly jump for a chance to fuck her senseless. Edward frowned a little then scowled at the thought. Bella's too wholesome, too pure to sleep around. She couldn't even say the word "fuck" for God's sake!

"And you _will_ help me Edward."

Over his dead body. There's no way in hell he'd help Bella look for Mister Hymen Breaker, Deflowerer Extraordinaire. Much less for future fuck buddies. "Leave me out of this."

Bella took a deep breath. "No. I need _you_ Edward."

"No you don't."

The brunette nodded. "Yes, I do."

Edward scowled at her. "You want that hymen broken then _you _do the searching. I won't look for you Bella!"

"There's no need to look. I know the perfect man to break it for me."

If possible, Edward's scowl turned fiercer. "Then tell him yourself. Don't pull me into this."

"I'm about to. But he's still too busy being negative about it to listen."

A full second passed before the entire meaning of what Bella said registered in his mind. And when it did, he gaped at her in shock.

The virgin smiled at him.

_Fuck._

"I want _you_ to break my hymen, Edward. I want _you_ to be my first."

_I am the honored Hymen Breaker._

_I am the Deflowerer Extraordinaire._

"Hell no!"


	2. Chapter 2

*face palm* I managed to eff up my reposting duty. Sorry.

Disclaimer: I'm too stupid to be Stephenie Meyer so yep, I don't own anything Twi-related.

Thanks to Izzzyy!

* * *

Chapter 2

"Why?"

Edward yawned at Bella who stood in front of him; arms crossed and wearing a slight frown on her face. He glanced at his bedside table, squinting to focus at the alarm clock, and saw it was four thirty in the morning.

"I mean why did you say _'hell no,'_ Edward?" the brunette continued. "You sounded and looked _so_ against breaking my hymen. Well, newsflash – it's _my_ hymen and I'll have the final say who will break it and I already chose _you _the moment I made that decision."

Edward sat up groggily. "And you just brought up the question _now_?"

He thought Bella had given up on her crazy "Hymen Theory" and his supposed participation in it a week ago when she calmly accepted his refusal. He certainly saw his housemate nod in acquiescence then spend the remainder of that night cooped up inside her room. Bella spent the next few days with Jessica finishing her latest manuscript or locked inside her room doing God knows what.

"Duh. I offered space, which gave you enough time to think things over before plunging in again!"

Therefore, she decided the right time was now. Bella actually barged inside his room, at _four thirty_ in the _morning_, to have this follow-up conversation. Great.

"A week after and the answer is still _no_."

Looking very frustrated, Bella uncrossed her arms and sighed. "Believe me, Edward, if this was not important to me I wouldn't insist at all. I tried every darn thing I could think of to get rid of this... this hymen but nothing has worked. Jessica's suggestions−"

Hearing the researcher's name completely woke Edward up. "What exactly did _Jessica_ suggest?"

Bella blushed. "Well...she gave me a few, um, interesting vegetables to experiment on."

So that's why she'd kept herself locked inside her room. She was busy shoving vegetables inside her vagina, hoping to miraculously break its "conscience" by herself. Edward wanted to pull all the hair from his head in frustration.

"And the cucumber failed." It was not a question.

"Yes." Defeated sigh. "And the eggplant," she grudgingly added. "Honestly, pushing those veggies inside me was a demeaning experience. Add embarrassing, and well, since I am being very honest here...itchy. Not that those vegetables went far inside me, anyway. They barely entered me and yet, um, erm, they scratched my skin. Down there. So I thought of covering them with oil."

_Jesus Christ._

Bella cringed then shuddered. "I mean, oil _would_ make it slippery therefore making it easier to slide inside my...umm, you know. But seeing those oil-covered vegetables made me realize how horribly disgusting and unsanitary they were. So, I threw them away."

_Good thinking, Bella._

"When I told Jess that she then advised me to try...umm...sheesh, vegetables were weird enough but any elongated _bottle_? _Inside_ _my_ _vagina_? That's plain barbaric! I didn't even bother _thinking _about that one!"

It would have been funny if it concerned another person. But it was Bella and he would strangle Jessica Stanley the next time he saw her.

"Then she brought me a dildo. A purple, battery operated dildo that she assured me would work. Well let's just say I couldn't even put it inside me because..." Bella paused and made a face.

"Because?"

"It reminded me of _Barney_. Don't ask why, 'cause I couldn't explain it myself, but it just _did_. A children's book writer getting rid of her hymen using a Barney look-a-like dildo? No. That's wrong on so many levels. I couldn't do it. Besides, I really do prefer, um, you know...the real thing?"

"Penis," Edward supplied bluntly. "You prefer a man's _cock_."

"Yes," Bella confirmed as bluntly then swallowed hard. "_Yours_ to be exact."

Edward cursed feeling the heat on his face. Great. Bella just made him blush. Of all the possible reactions to have..._fuck_. "For your sake, I'd rather not be the man−"

"You're blushing," Bella interrupted, moving closer to the bed to peer at him curiously.

_Double fuck_. "No, I'm _not_."

"Yes you are," the brunette insisted, sitting on the bed. "You are _so_ red. It's even spread to your neck and ears. You are blushing! Sheesh no need to deny it, I have eyes you know."

Edward frowned at her in irritation. "Cut it out. I don't blush. Ever."

"Spare me the macho act, Edward," Bella replied rolling her eyes. "People blush; it's a normal human reaction. What's not normal is your reluctance to help me."

He rolled his own eyes at her comment. "You just have to insert that, huh."

"One night is all I'm asking, Edward, with no strings attached. Just free me from my vagina's conscience forever. Help me become the kind of woman that I am supposed to be. Help me become date-material, the type of girl who'd welcome groping and French kissing. Make me somebody fun. Make me a promising one-night-stand!"

The woman was actually glowing at the end of her speech, Edward noted in disbelief. If Eric dreamed of living longer, he'd better disappear. If that whacko hadn't cheated, Bella would still be her old, sensible self. Hymen intact and all. "I can't."

"Can't or won't?"

"Both."

"I thought we were friends." The hurt in Bella's voice was unmistakable.

_Dammit_. "Hey, we're actually more than that, we're _family_. I care a lot about you and you know that, Bella," Edward seriously replied hating himself for hurting her in anyway.

"Then why won't you help me?"

Edward gave her a measuring look. "Look, sex could ruin everything. What we have right now is too precious to gamble on, and taking your virginity is just that − a huge gamble. You're far too important to me to risk what we have. The truth of the matter, Bella, is that however willing you are right now, the fact is that you remained a virgin is because you treasured it so much. You are not a one-night stand and never will be."

"But I _could_ be, Edward! I could be as hot and, and... spontaneously sexual as, ummm, Heidi! I just have to get rid of my virginity," Bella insisted. "I am twenty-four years old. I lived a closeted life, so to speak, and heck – you're aware of that! The very reason why I chose you to be my first was because you are part of my safe, dependable life. _You_ are safe and dependable period. I've never wanted some random man, Edward, and come to think of it not even Eric, who I dated for a year. I want _you_. My hymen deserves that; it deserves someone familiar who I trust completely. You got me, right?"

He did not answer.

"Are you worried about Heidi?" Bella tentatively inquired.

"No."

"Good, because you don't have to worry. I am not a threat, Edward. I never, _not even once_, have looked at you that way. I meant of course I love you, but I'm _not_ in love with you. You're not my type at all. You're just gonna help me change my life. Consider deflowering me as strictly platonic."

Edward snorted. "Now I _know_ you're totally crazy, Bella. There's no such thing as platonic sex! Two people fuck because they want to. It's more than trusting a person. Hell, most times trust doesn't even enter the equation, sadly. It's all about animal attraction and pure unadulterated lust. The urge to hump, pump and consume someone, and vice-versa. Trust me; passion can never be platonic." He shook his head. "Not possible."

Bella pondered on what the man beside her said then took a deep breath. "You're right. You're not even remotely attracted to me so why have sex with me? _Without attraction, there will be no erection_: The Golden Rule of Sex. I may want my hymen broken but just because I want to get rid of it, there's never any guarantee that I could actually arouse you to get the job done. Or vice-versa." She grew pensive for a full minute then snapped her fingers. "I think I got it!"

"Got what?" Edward asked warily. His head was still processing Bella's last words about the Golden Rule of Sex and here she was about to blurt out another one. Wherever she got these thoughts truly boggled the mind. _His_ mind, specifically.

The virgin philosopher grinned excitedly at him. "I have to find someone I am _truly _attracted to - who's also attracted to _me,_ by the way - _then_ sleep with him! A man I really want to have sex with, who will definitely make me want to French kiss him senseless. The mere fact that he could arouse me would mean that my vagina trusted him enough to let him do sexual things to me. No offense meant to you, of course."

_Of course_. Edward scowled as he watched Bella happily gaze at nothing in particular. He would bet his bar and everything he owned that she was already in the first stages of putting her idea to work. Like mentally skimming a list of everyone she knew and the people that they could set her up with. Someone attractive enough to get a response from her vagina and whom she would French kiss and fuck senseless.

Because apparently he wasn't her type. Sexually or otherwise.

He couldn't understand why, but he was completely offended. God, ever since Bella had brought up her crazy theory nothing made sense anymore. Fuck you, Eric Yorkie.

"Hey Edward, is Jasper still unattached?"

"_Jasper_? Jasper Whitlock? My bar manager, Jasper Whitlock?" He was close to yelling and he didn't even know why. Again. This uncertainty and inability to comprehend things was seriously pissing him off.

"Yes. Whenever I saw him, he always seemed to check out my sickeningly robust butt. However, he did not appear disgusted at all. He actually looked like he enjoyed staring at it."

Edward gritted his teeth. What the fuck? Jasper ogled Bella that way? Effective immediately Jasper was going to take an extended leave. He'd _definitely_ make sure of it.

Totally clueless about her housemate's present mood, Bella continued rambling on about her potential deflowerer list. "What about James? James Tucker, I mean. Does his band still play at the bar?"

This losing her virginity thing was getting out of hand. No, _Bella_ was getting out of hand, Edward decided. She was so adamant to be rid of it that she was now considering _his_ crowd as potential hymen breakers! James? What the fuck was she thinking? James would fuck a pole dressed as a woman for heaven's sake! He'd also fuck anyone stupid enough to love his trashy music! No way in hell!

"Or Tyler−"

Bella just named one of his bartenders. His _bisexual_ bartender. Imagine her face if Tyler proposed a threesome and the third party was another man. Or another woman, for that matter. Sheltered Bella would be scarred for life.

Edward snorted. If he didn't put his foot down, Isabella Marie Swan might even ask about his DJ, and her hooking up with the fastest zipper in Seattle was just plain unacceptable. He really had no choice.

"I'll do it."

Bella glanced at him. "What?"

"I said I will do it." Resigned sigh.

"Do what?" she asked in confusion, her mind obviously focused on listing his remaining male employees.

Edward frowned in annoyance at the thought. "I will fuck you."

"What!"

"Yes. _I_ will be your hymen breaker."

"Really?" Bella looked so hopeful and happy, no longer hurt and dejected.

_Good_. "Really."

"Yes!" she exclaimed then gave him a tight hug muttering never ending words of gratitudeas she squeezed him with all her might.

Edward hugged her back. Yes, he would fuck her senseless if it was the last thing on earth he'd ever do. Bella would be aroused all right. She'd be so fucking aroused she'd forget about Jasper, James, Tyler and even that sonofabitch Eric Yorkie.

The thought of those other men doing Bella made him see red. They couldn't possibly make deflowering Bella a meaningful experience. They were a bunch of man whores and no good bastards. Bella's first time had to be treated as highly important. It had to be special. Bella might be solely focused on just getting rid of it now, but he knew better. She would not have remained a virgin for so long if it didn't matter to her. And she would end up regretting it if she lost it over some random fuck...however attracted she was to said random fucker. No, it's for the best that he be the one to do it. _He_ would break Bella's hymen – not Jasper, James, Tyler or Eric.

Him, _only_ him.

And fuck it, he'd make it a special experience for her to remember with a fond smile and without any regrets. At all.

Satisfied with his final decision, Edward smiled at Bella. "So, when are we going to say goodbye to your hymen?"

The virgin philosopher beamed.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: SM owned the Twilight Saga books. I'm just a fan :)

Thanks to Izzzyy for beta-ing this chapter.

* * *

Ch. 03

One month.

One fucking month.

Edward nodded absent-mindedly as he pretended to understand what Heidi was saying during dinner. He tried focusing - he really did - but thoughts of a certain brunette with hymen issues kept replaying inside his head. His biggest unanswered question was why the hell did a whole month pass without Bella even mentioning their agreement?

Did she change her mind?

Did she find someone else to break her hymen?

Edward scowled at the thought. No fuckin' way! They'd made an agreement, and no one but him would do the deed. If Isabella Marie Swan approached either Jasper, James or Tyler behind his back all hell would break loose, and all three men would be unemployed by tomorrow morning.

"Hey, you look pissed right now. Are you okay?"

Or did Bella get back together with Eric? Fuck! That sonofabitch!

"Hello? Earth to Edward. Come in, Edward..."

Snapping to attention, he forced a smile at Heidi, who, minutes before they walked inside the restaurant, had given him a masterful blowjob in the car. Heidi, his supermodel girlfriend who bragged in men's magazines about how fantastic their sex life was and called him an energizer bunny. Edward gritted his teeth behind the fake smile. Heidi knew he was awesome, so how in the hell could Bella choose _Eric _over him?

_Fuck you, Eric Yorkie_. "Sorry. My mind wandered a little."

"Am I boring you?"

He shook his head. "That will never happen."

"I know," Heidi agreed, and then smiled seductively at him. "You love my mouth too much."

An almost-smile appeared on Edward's face when he heard the naughty comment. How many men would kill to be in his shoes right now, dating a gorgeous supermodel who had an extremely talented mouth? His friends had been envious as hell. Heidi was a hot topic in every single poker night he'd attended ever since they hooked up two months ago. They crowned him the King of Cool (they often resorted to typical high school behavior during these testosterone-laden nights) because of her. Truthfully, Heidi was the longest relationship he'd ever had.

Even Bella liked the supermodel. She'd told him that among all the women he had dated, Heidi was her favorite, 'cause Heidi was genuinely nice to her. This was a stark contrast to the others, who resented Bella's presence in his life.

"Oh look who just came in with a date! Bella!"

Bella?

On a _date_?

"I thought you said she broke up with that man?" Heidi commented, still looking with avid interest at whatever was behind him.

Whipping his head around, Edward was met by a vision of Bella and Eric walking with Emmett McCarty, the restaurant's owner, toward a table a few feet away from theirs. They were chatting animatedly; mostly Bella and Emmett while the Eric the motherfucker just listened.

Eric would know better than to antagonize Emmett by merely breathing the wrong way. There was a reason a secluded VIP room was provided in La Bella Italia. One, it was solely used for the owners, which Bella and Edward were, and for their friends. Emmett was Edward's old teammate, and he had become friends with Bella over the past two years. Co-owning the restaurant strengthened that friendship as well. Two, Eric was only able to enter the area tonight because he came with Bella. Three, Emmett knew about the entire Eric-cheated-on-Bella debacle and he was livid. The only thing stopping him at this point from pulling a Manny Pacquiao on Eric was Bella, and his respect for her.

"She did."

"Well, from the looks of it, they must have gotten back together," Heidi said with a small laugh. "The funny looking man cannot take his eyes off Bella. I can't blame him though, she looks great! This is the first time I've seen her wear a dress that short."

Too short, Edward decided frowning at the expanse of well-shaped legs shown to perfection by the black dress Bella was wearing. Not only did it enhance her killer legs, the dress also managed to show off Bella's perfect complexion.

He faced Heidi again, irritated beyond belief. "Jessica must have been the one to pick it out for her. Bella would never buy a dress like that. She's got a long-standing commitment with jeans and t-shirts."

"Kudos to this Jessica person, then," Heidi cheerfully replied, still eyeing Bella. "If not for her, I would never know how perfectly shaped her le – oh my God! The dress is short _and_ backless."

Edward turned so fast it nearly gave him whiplash. Of all the fucking things to wear... He grit his teeth after catching a look at the back part of the dress, or lack thereof, as Bella acknowledged Emmett's pregnant wife, Rose, who stood beside her and gave her a hug.

The dress showed Bella's creamy back with a tantalizing lack of cover. Edward narrowed his eyes in disgust. _Way to seduce your moron ex-boyfriend,_ he thought sarcastically. _Show off your perfect skin by wearing a poor excuse for a handkerchief as a dress and combine it with your other curves that won't quit. Fuck you, Jasper, for ogling the particular curve of her ass. Most importantly, fuck you Eric._ The sonofabitch looked like he couldn't wait for dinner to end.

"Hey, Bella just smiled at us. She finally spotted us."

Edward deliberately turned his back and faced Heidi. "Want to leave?"

"We haven't eaten dessert yet." She paused. "And you just snubbed Bella."

"I didn't snub anybody."

"Yes, you did. She was smiling at us and I was waving at her, and you turned your back and did not acknowledge her at all. Bella actually looked surprised. What's up with you?"

"Nothing," he said with a shrug. "She would want an uninterrupted date, so I'm backing off."

Heidi did not look convinced at all, but tactfully let his explanation slide. The subject could have ended smoothly if not for Bella materializing behind him a few seconds later.

"Hey jerk, did you not see me over there?" the brunette inquired sitting unceremoniously at the available chair beside him then turned to wink at Heidi. "Hi gorgeous."

"Hi Bella, you look _fierce_ tonight!" Heidi replied.

Bella chuckled. "Wow. I've never been described as fierce before. I'm genuinely flattered. What does it mean again?"

Heidi burst out laughing while Edward remained stoic. Bella's brows knitted as she threw him a curious look then shrugged. Whatever was making him grumpy, she knew he'd snap out of it eventually.

"I went to a writer's shindig a couple of hours ago which required I dress up. The problem was that I totally forgot about it and had to borrow one of Jessica's dresses. It must have been my lucky day, though, because lo and behold when I arrived at the party I discovered that my cheater ex is s a friend of a colleague of mine." Bella rolled her eyes. "On top of that, my ride, the always dependable Jessica Stanley, disappeared to God knows where. This colleague of mine, who I will never, ever see again, much less consider a colleague after this mishap, decided to play cupid and almost physically forced me to accept a ride home with Eric. I had no choice but to accept."

"So, you didn't get back together?"

Bella looked absolutely horrified at the thought. "God, no! Never. I was just being polite. I shouldn't have, though. Cheater ex just manipulated me into agreeing to have dinner with him. Good thing I was able to insist on eating here. I thought of a way to leave and was going to ask Emmett to help me, but then I saw you guys and that made me so happy. Salvation, at last."

She discreetly glanced at the table she'd left to supposedly say hi to the couple and sighed in relief to see Eric holding a menu and talking to a waiter. "Can I be a pest just long enough for you to give me a ride home? Or you can just accompany me until I am safely inside a taxi sans Eric. I need a feasible alibi."

Heidi was about to reply when her cell phone rang. She answered the phone, leaving Bella and Edward a few minutes to themselves.

"Try saying 'no' for a change."

Bella reached for Edward's glass of left-over water and took a sip. "I did. He just wouldn't listen."

"Make him," he snapped.

"My, my, my... Is it the time of the month again? Try baring your teeth a little then howl or bark or meow to complete the effect," Bella suggested, totally unfazed by his show of temper.

Across the table, Heidi giggled and shook her head at them while Edward, in spite of his mood, could not stop a genuine smile from coming out of his face. He glanced to see Eric staring at their table then turned to face Bella. "Lover boy's finished with the menu and is now eating you up with his eyes."

"Ick," Bella commented, shuddering.

He grinned, bad mood forgotten. "That's not even a word, Miss Eloquent Writer."

"But it thoroughly described my feelings, so..._ick_."

Heidi returned the phone to her purse then turned to look apologetically at Edward. "That was Gianna, my agent. I have to go meet her and some client at her office to discuss some changes in my contract. The client will leave for Paris afterwards, so it has to be done now. I'm sorry to bail on you like this."

"Don't be sorry, I understand. We're still on for breakfast tomorrow, right?"

"Of course," the model confirmed then stood up. "I'll take a cab if you don't mind. I'm really in a hurry. And oh, before I forget..." A loud slap against his right cheek caught Edward by surprise, while Bella's jaw dropped in shock. Across the room, Emmett and Rose stopped what they were doing to stare at them in confusion while Eric gaped in surprise.

In a voice loud and clear enough for Eric-the-funny-looking-man to hear, Heidi said "How could you two do this to me? I trusted you both! You don't deserve any tears at all! Fine, be together! I hope you'll have a nice life... _not_!" She gave them both a discreet wink as she leaned down to pick up her purse. Straightening, she mock-huffed at them before stepping away from her chair and with her head held high like a queen strutting on her own runway, she left.

Dumb and Dumber exchanged bewildered looks. Recalling the wink Heidi shot at them, Bella's eyes widened in understanding and pinched herself in the thigh. "Aww!" _That really hurt! Method acting is hard._ She released a pained hiss. "I mean huhuhuhuhu..." Exaggerated sniff. "Take me home, Edward." Unladylike wail. "I feel so badly, hurting Heidi." Sniff. Wail. Sniff. Sniff.

Not trusting himself to talk after such a display of bad acting, Edward escorted a tearful (and part wailing, part sniffing) Bella outside the restaurant through the VIP exit door (the same exit door that Heidi had used a few minutes prior), passing a confused Eric and barely-keeping-a-straight-face-Emmett along the way. God Bless her, Rose had disappeared, hiding somewhere while she laughed her ass off. When they were safely inside his car, both Edward and Bella burst out laughing.

"Oh my God, I love Heidi! She's brilliant!" Bella exclaimed with a fist pump. "And your face when she slapped you? Classic!"

Edward chuckled. "I must hand it to you though; I never thought you could cry-howl automatically. And such an ugly crying face, too."

"Thanks, I think," she replied, rolling her eyes.

Edward started laughing again. "Eric looked really confused back there, and even more stupid."

Bella was about to reply when insistent knocking on the tinted window on Edward's side of the car made her pause. Then she groaned in frustration. "Oh my God, it's Eric. I can't believe he still followed us after what Heidi did."

Edward snorted then turned to look at her. "We better give him proof that we are indeed lovers. Come here."

"What do you mean?"

"I am you're chosen hymen breaker, so stop giving me suspicious looks. Come here."

"Why?"

"Bella..."

"Answer me first. _Why_?"

Sigh. "You have a persistent ex knocking on the window of the man he believes to be your new boyfriend. We should have left immediately, but we're still here. The only plausible reason is because we're making out. Let's get rid of him completely. We needed to look the part to be convincing. So. Come. Here. "

Pulling Bella closer to him, Edward leaned down to give her a kiss.

_Whoa_. Bella looked completely panicked and turned her head the last minute so the kiss landed on her left cheek instead.

"Why did you do that?" Edward hissed glaring at her.

"I...I'm nervous," she admitted, swallowing hard. "I...umm...I'm not much of a kisser."

_Death by extreme exasperation - __what a way to go_, Edward thought, pinching the bridge of his nose for a second. "Don't be nervous, Bella, I got your back. Always. Just relax your mouth, let me in and for fuck's sakes don't fucking turn your head away!"

Bella focused on what Edward said then swallowed audibly.

"_Just relax your mouth__." Does that mean I have to open it now?_

"_Let me in__." Like his entire mouth will be inside mine? Is that even possible? It didn't look that way in movies._

"_Don't turn your head away"_ (She refused to acknowledge the incessant amount of cursing). _That I can do. I'll just not move at all._

But when she repeated Edward's instructions in her head again, another light bulb moment came. She'd read about it, duh. She'd seen it done in movies lots of times. There was no mistaking what was going to happen.

_Edward's going to French kiss me._

Edward.

French kiss.

Her.

Oh my God.

_I am so gonna suck...pun definitely not intended_, she thought helplessly.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

I'm just on a reposting spree guys. Thanks to my amazing beta Izzzyy for helping me to do this :)

* * *

Chapter 4

French kiss.

Bella bit her lip in concentration and tried to remember her research so far.

_A kiss in which the tongue enters the partner's mouth._

Various videos and pictures of couples French kissing appeared in her mind like a slideshow. Thank you, Google. Thank you, kissing dot com. Thank you, dailymotion!

Thank you, imagination.

She eyed Edward. _Okay, Bella. Edward's your best buddy. You live together, and have for three friggin' years now. You trust him with all your heart._ _So that means you also trust his tongue, since, hello you even kinda forced him to promise to devirginize you in the not-so-distant future. And at that time more than his tongue will penetrate you. Oh God, don't think about that word for now. It's a bit...umm...naughty. No, not penetrate..._

Insert.

_No. Oh God, no._

Pierce?

_No, not that. _

Infiltrate?

Bella considered the word. _When Edward's tongue infiltrates my mouth_...she made a face. _No. That sounds military-ish._

_When Edward's pe...nis infiltrates my vagi..._

No.

Just...no.

_Wow, Bella, prude much?_ asked the traitor brain.

Lay off, Benedict Arnold.

She could be a bit of a prude, but it was common knowledge that her verbal filter disappeared when she was conversing with Edward. With him, she was way too honest.

"Bella. Where did you go just now?"

"I'm over thinking things again," she admitted (see, she was honest!). _So much so that I just thought out synonyms of the word "enter" and just had an almost-argument with the great betrayer that __is__ my brain. How spazzy can you get, Bella?_

The knocking at Edward's side of the window intensified followed by Eric's unmistakable voice calling Bella's name.

"Shit. Come on, Bella, before fucking Yorkie damages my window."

She blinked nervously. "Y-you will really do it?"

"Yes! Come on!"

The nervous blinking intensified. "You mean you're really going to... to..._French kiss_ me? But... but...but...but..."

_Fuck, enough stalling already._ Edward swooped down and touches her lips with his while Bella was still busy with her "buts." The original plan was just soft, butterfly kisses. Perhaps he'd add a couple of licks and flicks here and there just to leave a mark for the sake of appearances. A mild taste of Bella, so to speak.

Easier said than done, though.

First, Bella had the softest lips. The kind of lips that would drive him crazy and make him want more than skin touching skin. She had the kind of lips that invited soft, gentle bites and the right amount of suction, which he gladly provided. He licked Bella's full lower lip once. Twice. Thrice. The upper lip received the same attention, and then he lavished the outer line of her lips with his tongue before sucking the lower lip fully.

_She tasted wonderful._

Second, Bella had the most enthusiastic tongue he'd ever experienced. For someone scared to French kiss, her tongue acted the opposite. It was everywhere. It was flicking against his lips, touching his own tongue tentatively at first but becoming bolder in no time. She even blatantly invited him to deepen the kiss by opening her mouth wider and offering the goodies inside, but knowing Bella, Edward was sure she did that instinctively rather than intentionally. _No complaints here_.

In a span of a minute they were sucking each other's tongues and licking each other's mouths like there was no tomorrow. And she was doing it like a pro, too. They were swallowing each other's spit as if it's from one and the same source.

_Fucking hot._

Third, Bella was fucking loud. It should have turned him off but it did the opposite. He got so aroused hearing her moans and groans that anyone within hearing distance could easily thought they were fucking like rabbits instead of just kissing. He wasn't helping, either. His moans and groans could shatter glass, truth be told. If kissing Bella was this wonderful, then what on earth would it be like having full-on, sweaty sex with her?

Edward pulled her even closer (well as close as the center console would allow, anyway), wanting to devour Bella's mouth and make it his own. His left hand pressed lightly on the back of her head and started to slightly guide its movement. His right hand caressed her creamy back.

There was no way in hell he could wait another month to break Bella's hymen after this.

No fucking way.

Needing air to breathe, the pair separated. Edward couldn't keep the goofy smile off his face as he looked at the still-dazed brunette he'd just kissed senseless seconds ago. He himself had mussed hair thanks to Bella's enthusiastic fingers, and both of them had red and swollen lips, plus the flushed cheeks of pro-French kissers..._perfect_.

_Time to finish Operation: Get Rid of Eric_. He opened the window and scowled at the cheater ex, whose eyes went straight to the woman beside him. "What do you want? Can't you see you're interrupting us?"

Seeing his ex looking thoroughly ravished, Eric swallowed audibly, blinked, then left without answering his question. Smirking, Edward closed the window and turned to joke about what just happened, but was surprised to see Bella out of her dazedness and scribbling furiously in her notebook.

He cleared his throat. "What are you doing?"

"Taking notes," Bella mumbled, writing God knows what.

"About?"

"French kissing."

_What?_

"You're taking notes about French kissing?" he clarified.

Nod.

_Um, what? _"Bella, I'm confused. Why do you have to take notes?"

"I need to remember how I did it."

_Jesus Christ, is Bella on crack?_

"You're a natural. You don't need to take notes at all. Trust me, you're wonderful. Kissing is all about instinct, Bella, and you definitely have it."

He was ignored.

After a full fifteen minutes, and three pages back-to-back of possibly the most detailed description of French kissing (she even drew something on page 2, of what he had no idea) ever, Bella closed her notebook and sighed at Edward.

_Oh God, what now?_

"Can we try it again? I need to make sure I didn't forget any information."

If the request had come from another female, Edward would have thought it was all just a ploy for them to kiss again. However, it was Bella, and there was no trace of coyness at all when she voiced her request. If anything, she actually looked determined.

She was adamant about mastering French kissing.

Edward nodded. "Okay." _No reason to get excited, Edward. You either, Anthony. Down boy._

This time it was Bella who leaned closer to him and took the initiative to touch his lips with hers. Edward let her, cradling her heart-shaped face gently with both hands. She was showing confidence and he welcomed it. The next brush of her soft lips against his made him moan.

_Fucking softest lips ever._

The third time she did the lip brushing move, Edward slightly opened his mouth and breathed her in. He was about to nibble on her lower lip when Bella suddenly moved away from him to get her notebook and scribble something, leaving him with nothing but air in his hands.

_What the fuck? _"Bella."

"Hmm." Brisk scribbling.

"Come here, we're not done yet." Frustrated hair tugging.

"Just a second, Edward. Need to – unnnffffff."

And the notebook was tossed at the backseat as Bella got French kissed the second time around.

Properly and thoroughly as well.

*Birds Chirping*

Excited moans. Third time.

*Two cars passed*

Edward grunting. Fourth time.

*Emmett peered at Bella's side of the window, but it was too fogged up to see, so he left*

Bella's breathy groans. Fifth time.

The two finally separated.

End of research.

_For now_, Edward thought with a smirk, still savoring his kissing partner's taste on his tongue.

_Fucking delicious._

"Wow," Bella gushed in awe, and then wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "French kissing is quite messy, with all that saliva involved, and it's a pretty intimate act, but with the right partner it could really be pleasurable." _And I have notes full of description to help me nail the act perfectly. Mental high five, Bella. You're the woman. Yes, you are!_

Edward grinned. He was well aware that he shouldn't be enjoying it too much, but what the hell. "You tasted like heaven, Bella." _Ugh. What the fuck, Edward? That sounded really lame!_

Bella burst out laughing. "That sounded so cheesy and definitely untrue, but whatever. I learned a lot tonight so I'm letting you off the hook and won't make fun of you."

Shaking her head and still chuckling to herself, Bella reached for her notebook at the backseat, making her perfect butt jut out enticingly mere inches away from Edward's face.

Bella's Ass + Shortest Backless Dress Ever Designed (Fuck You Jessica) = Premature Ejaculation.

_Must not jizz in my pants_.

_Must not jizz in my pants_.

_Must not jizz in my pants_.

Edward was able to breathe properly when Bella went back to her normal sitting position. _Thank you, God_.

After she wrote additional notes, Bella, with her swollen lips, smiled at Edward before fastening her seat belt. "Let's go home. I am terribly sleepy all of a sudden."

Sleepy.

Edward, with his swollen lips and _swollen Anthony,_ shook his head slightly to clear it as he started the engine. He was hard as a pole because of that kiss, had nearly jizzed in his pants from the visual of a perfectly shaped ass, and was aroused out of his mind...and good old Bella got _sleepy_.

Great.

So fucking great.

"But dude, seriously..." Bella yawned. "That was nice. Really, really nice."

Nice?

Just nice?

Edward scowled at nothing in particular. How could Bella describe those kisses as _nice_? They were nuclear for fuck's sake! _Way_ better than Heidi's blowjob hours ago. Way better than sex he'd had with anyone, and he'd had a lot. No exaggeration.

He glanced at Bella and saw her asleep with a contented smile on her lips. Anthony twitched below; just the mere sight of those lips got him going again, much to Edward's irritation.

_Snap out of it, you dufus._ He rolled his eyes at the irony of mentally chastising his own cock then glanced again at Bella, this time allowing his eyes to roam freely from her angelic face to her slender neck down to her breasts (okay he lingered there for a full minute) until he reached her sinfully exquisite legs.

Hello, Anthony was in full standing ovation mode now.

Edward sighed. He shouldn't be checking out Bella that way. He was worse than Jasper by doing it, and actually getting an erection because of it? Fuck. That was beyond the worst. _Snap out of it, Edward_.

He shook his head again. He was the more experienced one in this situation. Bella trusted him. She was the only person who knew him, flaws and all, yet she still trusted him so much. He wouldn't fail her by becoming a horny pervert after one kiss.

Alright, _five_ kisses, not that he was counting.

_Pssh, just drive Edward. _

So he did.

When they were safely parked in front of their shared apartment, he turned to check on Bella. Still asleep. What to do now? Should he just carry her inside or wake her up?

Carrying would mean skin touching skin and with the way Anthony's still at half-mast... Edward shook his head. _Better to wake her than scare her with my boner._

"Bella. We're home." He tapped her left shoulder three times. _Please, please wake up_.

Edward sighed in relief when she opened her eyes and peered at him. "We are?"

"Yeah."

She yawned. He was about to open the door and get out of the car when Bella stopped him by putting a hand on his arm. "Wait. I want to talk to you about something first."

He turned to face her and raised a brow in inquiry.

Bella cleared her throat. "Actually there are three things that I wanted to talk to you about Edward."

"Three things?" _Please God, no more theories_.

Bella nodded, looking so serious all of a sudden that it made Edward wary. She was over thinking again and most of the time nothing good came out of Bella's over analyzing brain.

"Yes three things. One is about thanking you, two is a promise I'll make and three pertains to a buddy break."

Buddy break?

Edward's heart thudded hearing those two words correlated in one sentence. Hell, even Anthony deflated.

_Buddy break_.

That sounded so negative, so ominous; a foretelling of the possible finality of their friendship.

An end.

_This is so not good._


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Izzzyy is my super awesome beta :)

* * *

Chapter 5

Bella took a deep breath, offered Edward a small smile, and started talking.

"One, thank you for doing this. For helping me move past Eric and my virginity. Believe me, I completely understand your concerns. It _is_ a risk. It _is_ a gamble. And I'm neither obtuse nor ignorant enough to _not_ acknowledge the reality that there will be changes afterwards. It's inevitable."

She paused for a full minute, then reached out to hold Edward's nearest hand with both of hers. "So here's _my _promise. I _promise_ that whatever happens in the future, after I lost my hymen, I mean, you'll _still_ be my best buddy slash roomie. I _won't_ let one night of sex change our friendship, Edward. I won't let _anything_ come between us. _Nothing_ will ever come between us. I guarantee you that." Then she fixed him a look. "You got that, right? I did not just enunciate words for the heck of it. I emphasized those words 'cause they're important. Those words affirm my assurances. Got it?"

Edward managed a nod even if he was dreading the final part of the talk.

"Good." Bella beamed at him then squeezed his hand before continuing. "Last of all, there's a huge possibility that I will call for a Buddy Break if and when a certain situation makes me feel uncomfortable during the course of my, erm, deflowering. I expect you to do the same. If something makes you uneasy or brings you utter discomfort, call a Buddy Break and I'll instantly oblige."

"A buddy break." Edward couldn't disguise the panic in his voice even though he was trying his damndest to act and sound cool. One minute she was sprouting off promises and fucking guarantees and assurances that she'd remain the same after all was done, and the next she brought out the idea of taking a break from each other?

The hell?

Fuck no!

Bella nodded. "It's like calling for a time out."

Time out? He started shaking his head and took his hand away from her grasp. "No. No time outs. No fucking buddy breaks. Just forget about our agreement, Bella. I will not take a fucking break from our friendship because of it."

Edward felt an incoming anxiety attack. _Or it could hit just about now_, he thought as he tried desperately to breathe properly.

Bella eyed him in confusion. "What's gotten into you? Sheesh, calm down Edward. You're seconds away from hyperventilating and you never, ever hyperventilate. I'm the emotional one remember? Not you. Never you. Breathe! Inhale...exhale. Edward!"

He inhaled.

He exhaled.

Yep, he still couldn't fucking breathe.

"Come on dude, you're scaring me! My first aid know-how just flew out the window seeing you like this. I am a complete moron! This is exactly why I needed to take notes!" Bella was in full panic mode now, alternately fanning him with her infamous notebook and rubbing his chest, which woke Anthony up.

_Un-fucking-believable._ He was about to die... with an _erection_.

Seeing Bella panicking and nearly in tears made him will himself to calm down if that was possible. _Well, freaking out is not an option, dufus. You have to do it to stop worrying Bella to death. You have to _make_ it possible! STAT!_

Edward pushed the button to automatically open the windows and turned his face toward them. Feeling the cold air hit him he determinedly inhaled and exhaled again. After a couple of tries, he was breathing normally once more.

"Edward?"

He exhaled loudly. "I'm fine, Bella."

"For sure?"

Edward nodded, closed the windows then turned to face her. "For sure."

She sighed in relief. "I aged five years witnessing that. What brought that on anyway? One minute we were talking, the next you were gasping for breath..." Bella's eyes widened, "Could it be because of too much French kissing?"

"Bella, of course not."

"You're right, we kissed almost an hour ago, that's way too delayed reaction to make sense," the brunette continued with a shake of her head. "So what−"

Irritated sigh. "Stop dwelling. I just lost air for a minute there. I'm okay now so let it go."

Bella rolled her eyes. "You were dying in front of me minutes ago, Edward! That's−"

"I said let it go Bella! Fucking. Let. It. Go!"

Complete and utter silence.

Bella took a shaky breath, visibly upset. Edward ran his hand over his already messy hair, clearly agitated with what he'd just said. To Bella, of all people.

"First, stop interrupting me. It's deliberately _rude_. Second, raising your voice? At _me_? Totally inappropriate. Third, I'm used to you punctuating every single sentence you speak with the F word, but directly cursing at me? I don't deserve that," Bella coldly stated, then opened her side of the door and got out of the car without sparing him a glance.

Fuck!

Edward fumbled with the door in his haste to follow her, but his seatbelt and the door itself immediately failed to cooperate. By the time he walked – no, _sprinted_ – inside the house, Bella was in her room already.

With Linkin Park's "One Step Closer" playing on repeat.

Loudly.

Never in the course of their three years of friendship and sharing a house had something like this happened. And if he'd been told years ago that Bella would listen to her angry song because of him and what he'd done, he definitely would have scoffed at the very idea. Wasn't gonna happen.

Except it just had.

Edward was at a loss.

Instinct wanted him to knock until Bella opened the door, but in his heart of hearts he knew that would never work. Aside from the obvious fact that she wouldn't hear the knocks, Bella would need some time to over analyze and over think things alone.

So he'd wait.

Edward leaned on Bella's door and then slid down until he was sitting with both of his legs stretched out in front of him. He looked at his watch and expelled a breath. _Patience is a virtue, Edward. Especially if you're the one who fucked up. Big time._

An hour later, the song still played loudly and there was no sign of Bella coming out. Edward started to feel constipated and the tell-tale signs of an anxiety attack started again. _No! I need to chill. Fuck you, Edward. Control yourself! Stop acting like a fucking pussy! _

If the hovering anxiety attack was not enough, tears began to gather in the corner of his eyes, and he was _not_ the type to cry. A dislocated shoulder, a knee cap injury that had hurt like shit, and even learning the news that he wouldn't be able to play football anymore – hell even his falling out with his own parents had not warranted any tears. But now?

Congratulations, Edward − you've just grown a vagina.

In sheer frustration he banged his head once, twice on the door. If the roots of his hair could talk, they would beg him to stop pulling.

When two hours had passed, Edward resorted to calling Bella's name, plus a heartfelt "I'm sorry." Out loud. He was pretty sure the neighbours would start banging on their front door and demand they quiet the noise. Truthfully he was waiting for that to happen. He could use reinforcements.

Three hours...Apparently no one cared about the loud music or his equally loud name calling.

Four hours...

Five...

Edward angrily brushed away the first few tears that fell down his cheeks. Fuck it, he was no emo kid! He opened his mouth to resume with his chanting of "_Bella, I'm sorry,"_ but his voice had gotten so hoarse all he could manage was a squeak.

He fucking squeaked. _Oh God, I'm so pathetic._

He tried clearing his throat, but even after that he could no longer talk loudly. So he did the next best thing − he went back to banging his head on Bella's door. Continuously.

When he'd lost count on exactly how many times he'd banged his head already, and the feeling of dizziness had intensified, the loud music miraculously stopped. Edward held his breath, but continued with the banging.

"Stop doing that. You're gonna hurt yourself."

The voice sounded so near him. Could Bella be sitting on the floor, leaning on the door as well? Edward banged his head again to make her talk. Hopefully, she'd talk.

She did. "I mean it, Edward. Stop doing that."

And then she carefully opened her door slightly. He stood up so quickly that he wobbled. _Note to self: banging one's head then moving fast...not a smart thing to do. _

"Bella," he sort of squeaked slash croaked, "I'm sorry."

She gave him a calculating look, shook her head then walked out of the room, pulling his right arm as she passed him. When they reached the kitchen, she pushed him to sit on one of the stools then got him a glass of water.

Bella placed the glass in front of him. "Drink."

His parched throat was very grateful. When he'd consumed every single drop of its contents, he put the glass down. He looked Bella straight in the eye and said "I'm sorry." No more squeaking voice, just a bit husky.

Bella reached out and touched the back of his head, her fingers checking its condition. Satisfied that he didn't have any bumps at all, she dropped her hand. "Are you on repeat now?"

Edward solemnly shrugged. "If that's what it takes for you to forgive me, then yes."

"What exactly happened in the car? _Help_ me understand Edward. _Make_ me understand. You never, ever hyperventilate. But hours ago, back there you were seriously gasping for breath. What prompted that? Are you sick? I am really worried about you."

"I'm not sick. I'm healthy as a horse," he assured her then sighed. _Fuck it, I'll just have to be honest here._ "I freaked out when you brought up this Buddy Break thing," he admitted avoiding her eyes.

"What! Why?"

"It sounded...it...I felt...umm...fuck." He grimaced when he said the last word and glanced at Bella to see her reaction to his slip up.

She rolled her eyes at him. "For the record, I'm sorry for even thinking that you cursed at me. Deep inside, I know you'd never do that. I was shocked by your outburst and my brain focused on that, because I was hurt by the way you talked to me back there. But I'm not anymore, and I forgave you hours ago. So curse away."

Edward expelled a long sigh of relief. Bella forgave him. _So don't fuck up anymore, dufus._ "I'm sorry for interrupting you, yelling at you and even using the F word in that context. I will never deliberately disrespect you, Bella. You're one of the very few people I think highly of. Hell, there are actually times that you're the _only_ person I think highly of. So please know that. My temper gets the better of me most of the time, but you're supposed to be an exception. You _are_ an exception...I just..." he shook his head and failed to finish the sentence. He looked extremely disgusted with himself.

"I know."

"You are, Bella. You really are an exception," he insisted.

"I really know that."

"I respect you so much; more than I have ever respected anyone in my life."

"Yep. I know that too."

Hearing amusement in her voice, Edward looked at her. "I'm serious."

"I know."

He frowned, still looking at her. "Are you making fun of me with all of these 'I knows?'"

"Nope. I'm just stating a fact."

"So you're emphasizing that you know."

"Redundancy tires me." Wink.

"Obviously. You never repeat anything you say." Left eyebrow lift.

"You're weird."

"You're weirder."

"I know."

Edward burst out laughing soon followed by Weirder herself. After five hours of intense almost-fighting, the laughter and lightness felt great.

_So fuckin good._ "Permission to hug?"

Bella chuckled. "Permission granted."

_All's well in the world_, Edward thought happily as he enveloped Bella on a tight embrace, _almost_. After kissing her temple, he let go. There's one more issue to straighten. "Now what exactly is a Buddy Break?"

"A time out."

_Breathe_. "From what?"

"From the intenseness of my...erm, deflowering."

Edward's brow knitted in confusion. "Like while in the middle of?"

Tentative nod.

"Bella, trust me. When we're both in the middle of doing it, calling a time out will be the farthest in our minds. We'd be too busy feeling to think about taking a halt."

Biting her lip, Bella sat down abruptly on the nearest stool. "I might."

Recalling how in the beginning of them kissing she suddenly went back to writing her notes, Edward acknowledged the possibility that it could happen. And Bella, with her over thinking, prepared for it. "How will it work exactly?"

"I'm sure you've heard of BDSM, right?"

_And I'm back to being confused again_. "Yes?"

"So you also know that in a BDSM relationship safewords are used?"

_And Bella knows this...why? _

"Sheesh Edward, stop looking at me like that. I'm neither a Dom nor a sub. I'm a friggin' virgin − doing the missionary position will be hard enough as it is! Spanking, handcuffs and butt plugs? Come on, I couldn't even use a dildo! Besides, putting a plug in your butt? The oiled vegetables fiasco will forever be etched into my mind, and I vowed not to put myself in that kind of situation again."

_Thank you God._ "Then why know this much about BDSM?"

Bella shrugged. "A few months ago Jess liked this man who was a Dom. So she gathered every single scrap of information that she could find about BDSM, 'cause she wanted to be his sub. She's a researcher by profession, so she accumulated a lot. And Jess being Jess, she shared everything with me. She even showed me tons of pictures."

Jessica Stanley: despoiler of the unspoiled.

"I didn't know she'd joined that kind of a lifestyle."

Bella smiled a little. "She didn't. Floggers, whips and crops she said she could handle, but when she read about caning, and then discovered that her Dom was also a bit of a sadist, she changed her mind."

"So what's the BDSM connection with Buddy Break?"

"Well, in BDSM there are safewords. In Buddy Break, we'll have safewords too."

And just like that, things started to make sense again. Edward felt like a fool jumping to conclusions and reacting badly by the mere mention of the words _buddy_ and _break_. He took it too literally. It would've saved them the five hour almost fight and him the stupid anxiety attack, if he only let Bella finished her talk.

And no, he wouldn't pull a Bella and dwell on why he reacted that way in the first place. Nor would he think about it again. He could live without the whys. Life would be simpler that way. What was important was that he and Bella were okay. The rest? Buried and forgotten.

"I was thinking your safeword could be 'touchdown' and mine would be 'manuscript.'"

Edward chuckled. "Let me get this straight. If, during sex, we feel a little uncomfortable or even a bit of discomfort or any negative feeling in general, you want us to call for a break by using 'touchdown' and 'manuscript?' Shouldn't safewords be colors?"

"Well since this is our own thing, I thought it'd be better to use the words that clearly define us as individuals. And what's more defining for an ex-football player and writer than those two?"

He considered her answer for a minute then smirked. "What about Energizer Bunny for me, Virgin No More for you?"

"Typical a-hole suggestion," Bella retorted. "Dude, the shorter the word the better."

"Cock and clit?"

"Edward!"

Energizer bunny burst out laughing while Virgin No More's face reddened.

"Cut it out!"

"Okay, okay..." he responded after a while, still chuckling. "Fine. 'Touchdown' and 'Manuscript' it is."

Bella nodded then stood up. "Now that everything's cleared, we better sleep. I don't know about you, but today has been epic and I'm tired."

Epic.

First fight. Well, first almost-fight anyway. First and _last_ almost fight, Edward corrected himself as he followed Bella to her bedroom door. He wouldn't let that fuckery happen again.

They stood in front of her door and exchanged smiles. Before Edward could wish her goodnight, Bella put her arms around his waist and hugged him. "I hated almost fighting with you," she admitted, her voice slightly muffled by his shirt.

He kissed the top of her head and hugged her tighter. "Me too. I'm sorry for losing my temper, Bella. I'm so sorry for hurting your feelings."

"Enough with the apologies already!" Bella exclaimed releasing him, "I should've known better than to react that way. I should've kept my mouth shut and let the subject go when you told me the first time. And I should've not taken the cursing personally. What an idiot. I'm both insensitive _and_ sensitive at the same time. So, I'm sorry as well."

"Okay I think we already established that we're both sorry," Edward commented making her smile. "Can we please not almost fight again?"

She nodded. "We can use the Buddy Break in that context too, you know. If and when we find ourselves in the beginnings of a heated argument that can turn into an almost-fight, either one of us can call in our safe words. Then, when we're both relatively calm again, we can talk about it. Just like what we did tonight, but without the loud angry music, calling out 'I'm sorry' at top of the loud angry music, and head banging. Crisis averted, friendship intact."

Crisis averted.

Friendship intact.

Edward loved the buddy break already.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: SM owns everything while I own nothing *grumbles*

Still reposting chapters :) Thanks to Izzzyy.

* * *

Chapter 6

Bella grinned to herself as she opened the front door the next morning. When she put down her purchases at the breakfast bar, she couldn't help but chuckle at her impulsiveness. Okay, she was feeling proud of it, actually. She was rarely impulsive. She was more of a planner, and her over thinking was on another level entirely. But today she had done something spontaneous. Instead of buying food supplies, she bought...Bella chuckled.

_Jessica and Alice will be floored when I tell them about this. _

Benedict Arnold had been impressed.

Her traitor brain was blissfully quiet the entire time. No snarky comments whatsoever. Her grin widened as she gazed at one particular bag. _Happy birthday to me_. She was about to pick it up and look at it again when she heard music start playing inside Edward's room.

_Edward's home?_

Bella checked the time on her watch. 11:00. _I thought he was spending the day with Heidi? If so, then what's he doing here? _Her face lit up when another impulsive thought entered her mind. _Wow Bella, you're on a roll today. _Chuckling, she took the bags and half-ran towards her own room. Closing the door, she quickly put the bags on her bed and started removing her sweater and jeans. Clad only in her underwear, she rummaged inside one of the bags and pulled out her impulsive purchase. _Good thing Edward's home; I definitely need his opinion on this._

Twenty minutes later, she opened her door and walked purposely towards Edward's room, which was at the end of the hall. With a grin, she knocked on his door. "Edward? Can I come in for a second?"

The music stopped, and then the door was opened revealing a sweaty Edward wiping his face and neck while looking at her enquiringly.

"Oh. I thought you were just vegging or something. I didn't mean to interrupt your work out."

Edward shrugged then moved aside to let her in. "Just some treadmill work, nothing major really. What's up?"

"I thought you were at Heidi's."

"We just ate breakfast at La Bella with Emmett and Rose then I drove her home. I had to be in the bar this afternoon anyway, and she had to pack, so we couldn't really hang out."

"Gorgeous is leaving again?"

Nod. "Paris. She'll be gone a whole month and she's leaving tomorrow."

"That sucks."

Another shrug. "It's work. We both know that."

"Sometimes I wish I could be like you. Since you became a couple, you've been faced with weeklong separations because of Heidi's job, but you're so chill about it. You know, so cool about the entire set up. You do your thing, she does her own stuff. So independent from each other yet wonderful together. You're like patiently waiting for your beloved. That's so romantic."

"You aren't going to break into a song now, are you?"

Bella chuckled. "Shut up. I'm just gushing over your wonderful relationship."

"Sorry to burst your bubble Little Miss Sunshine, but there's nothing to gush about. We've only been together for two months and most of the time we're apart. I'm quite positive Heidi doesn't even know what my favorite color is." Edward pointed out the obvious, and then shrugged again.

"Pffft. The length of time you're with a loved one doesn't really matter in the end, Edward. It's the _quality,_ not quantity, that counts! Look at me. I was with Eric for a year. We were together almost every day. He even gave me a key to his apartment. But look at what happened to us."

"I'm pretty sure Heidi's not a _loved_ one, Bella. _Liked_ one, yes. But loved one? Definitely not."

"Yet. Not a loved one _yet_. But she could be," Bella insisted then wiggled her brows teasingly. "Dude she could be the one. Imagine your babies together. My God, I'll be one proud, happy Godmother and Aunt."

Edward made a face. "You're getting way ahead of yourself, Isabella Marie Swan. Cut it out."

"Ooohhh, he's doing the calling-me-by-my-whole name thing. Someone's getting annoyed."

He merely gave her his signature left eyebrow lift then shook his head, eyeing what she was wearing in amusement. "What's up with the trench coat anyway? You do know you're already inside the house, right?"

"Ha ha, funny. I almost forgot about the reason why I came here in the first place," Bella said, rolling her eyes at her own spazziness and then pulled Edward towards his bed and pushing him none-too-gently to sit. "I was supposed to be grocery shopping this morning, but on my drive there I passed by this store. I honestly don't know what prompted me to do it, but next thing I knew I was already parked in front of said store. So what the heck, right? I walked in and looked around and then this really nice saleslady approached me and helped me. We browsed over stuff for about thirty minutes and then holy frankfurter Edward I saw this..._thing_ and honest to God I fell in love with it."

Whoa. Edward smiled hearing one of the two expletives that Bella had sort of created for herself. They were original words, but not really curses, and Bella, being Bella, claimed them as her own kind of curses, since she couldn't say the real ones. The words were "Frankfurter" and "Quiddich." The first was her version of "fuck," and the latter was her alternative for "shit." They only came out when she's extremely excited and/or extremely nervous.

Only Bella knew why she even thought of these words as substitute curses, but it made Edward chuckle.

"What's the giggle for?"

"Nothing. Continue with your story."

She nodded, but gave him a suspicious look before continuing. "So without any over thinking and over analyzing, I bought it. Just like that. The saleslady was very enthused. She told me I looked great in it."

"What exactly did you buy?" He was impressed. Bella usually had a list prepared before buying things. From groceries to her own clothes, everything was listed and numbered in order of priority. So her buying on a whim was a big deal. _Must be something really special._

Beaming, Bella unbuttoned her trench coat in front of him then completely shrugged it off.

_Holy Frankfurter._

There was a possibility that he stopped breathing for a full minute. Then his heart started beating really, really fast and sweat began to trickle along every surface of his skin. And he wasn't even moving. He just sat there, gaping at Bella, who was wearing the most fuckhot lingerie he had ever seen, which was saying something, considering he'd seen a lot. Hell, Heidi had a collection of stuff she modelled for him before their all night sessions of hot, monkey sex.

But the one Bella was wearing...dear God. Everything paled in comparison.

It was white.

It was short.

It was lacy.

And he could see everything: even the matching panties. The _really tiny _matching panties.

Fuck.

Anthony went from limp to full erection in a nanosecond.

"I'm wearing a Victoria's Secret halter babydoll in a delicate floral stretch lace. It even has an adjustable neckline," Bella bragged with a grin, showing him how to adjust the neckline from a bit higher to the..._fuuuuck_...lowest it could get.

Hello, Bella's cleavage.

To Edward's continuous frustration, _delicate floral stretch lace_ apparently translated to see-through material of erection-inducing torture. 'Cause he could fucking see Bella's pink and just-about-the-right-size-for-his-mouth-and-tongue-to-play-with nipples. He could see them so clearly it was like seeing them in high def. Unbidden, he saw himself on his knees licking and sucking them to oblivion.

Anthony hardened even more, to the point of pain, which had never happened to him before.

_No! Stop with the images, Edward! And for fuck's sake, Anthony, stop behaving like you haven't gotten any pussy lately. You did just hours ago. It may have been hurriedly done, but still..._

Bella, oblivious to her friend's current situation, turned her back at Edward to show him the other side of it. "And look, it has a crisscrossed back. Nice right?"

Edward's eyes zoomed down...much lower than the crisscrossed back Bella was talking about. The nightie was so short that it barely covered her ass. Thank God the matching panty wasn't a thong, but then again, the visual...oh God.

Hello, Bella's robust butt.

He swallowed a groan. Fuck. He couldn't do this. He had to leave. There's no way in hell Bella wouldn't notice his erection. The gym shorts he was wearing were a bit tight to begin with. A fully erect, extremely hard Anthony was prominent, and extremely obvious, under them.

And the way he was reacting right now was completely inappropriate. Bella did not show him her bought-on-a-whim babydoll fuckery to seduce! She showed it to him in excitement, 'cause she'd done something totally new and unusual. This was just Bella sharing a monumental first with her most trusted buddy slash roomie.

Should he use his safeword?

He closed his eyes tightly and willed his hands to stay put. They were itching to hold and squeeze Anthony. His fucking dick had probably sent his hands a cosmic message that it wanted to be played with, preferably in front of Bella. Edward opened his eyes, glaring at Anthony.

Yep, safeword it is.

"Tou-."

"Oh my God!"

_Shitshitshitshit. Too fucking late._

He cringed seeing Bella looking at him in shock. Specifically, looking at the _tent_ under his shorts in shock.

Anthony twitched in acknowledgment. _Cocky bastard._

"Is that...is that your _penis_?" She actually pointed at Anthony who twitched some more.

_The fucker is showing off. I no longer have power over my own dick. Anthony owns me._

"Quiddich Edward, that looks...hard."

Duh.

"And huge."

And there you go. Cue the blushing. Edward's face, neck and ears were bright red. Anthony throbbed and wouldn't stop twitching. The preening peen. The cocky cock. _And you're thinking this...why...again Edward?_

"Well not that I've seen a covered penis this close before, so I can't compare, but just looks really big. Bulging and big," Bella continued tilting her head from side to the side, probably to check it some more. She leaned a little closer, clueless to the fact that the move made her breasts sway and the cleavage more pronounced.

Anthony was more even determined now to get out of the confining shorts.

"It keeps on moving," the ever observant virgin stated, looking thoroughly confused. "Why is it moving that way, Edward? If it was a person I'd say he was having seizures." Pause. "Is it possible for a penis to have seizures? Is there such thing as _penile convulsions_?"

Edward covered his face with both of his hands and lay down the bed. _Oh God. This was not happening. _

"Of course not, idiot, it's only a part of a person, Bella. The person has to be the one having the seizures, not his genitalia. Sheesh, for a smart woman, how can you be so stupid sometimes?"

She was talking to herself now. He groaned. She was just a breath away from over contemplating and God knows what she'd come up then. "Bella? Please shut up."

Silence.

Edward removed his hands from his face and peeked at the suddenly quiet woman standing a few feet away. She was still there, just looking a bit uncertain for some reason. He went back to sitting. "Hey. You okay?"

She bit her lip and nodded but did not say anything. Instead, she resorted to wringing her hands and avoiding his eyes.

"What is it, Bella? Come on, you can tell me anything."

"It's a question."

"Then ask away."

"It's a question that will make you do something."

"Like answer your question?" _This was getting a bit ridiculous._

"No. Yes," Bella sighed. "I mean yes, answering my question is an action by itself, but that's not what you'll do. I mean of course you'll do answer my question, and that's...sheesh."

"Just say it, Bella. Out loud, without the confusing chatter. Just blurt it out. Come on. You can do it."

Deep breath. "Can I see it? Without the cover?"

"See what without the cover?"

"Your penis."

Fuck.

If Anthony had hands, he would be clapping.

If Anthony had a voice, he would yell "_hell Yeah!_"

But what Anthony had was a head and body of sorts, so all he could do was twitch. And twitch some more. _The fucker's nodding vigorously in enthusiasm._

"You can say no, Edward. I Promise I won't take it personally and get hurt," Bella assured him quickly. "I just haven't seen one, and I'm curious. I mean, inevitably I'll see yours when we do it, and some other man's as well − _in the future_ − after I get rid of my virginity, 'cause I'll be having sex then with others. Actually, I was even able to graze Eric's once. Completely by accident, believe me. And what I grazed? It didn't feel big. I actually thought it was just the zipper, and probably wouldn't have known, if he hadn't joke about it. So you know−"

"Bella, I don't want to appear rude, but I just have to interrupt your babbling. I'd rather not hear about some man's genitals, especially Yorkie's," Edward cut in while snorting, then stood up. "Fine. You want to see a real live penis? Here's one."

He pulled down his shorts and even if he was thoroughly uncomfortable, he resigned himself to just do this show and tell. _For Bella_. He'd rather she ask him than let her ask another man, who could take advantage of the situation. So he pulled off his shorts and briefs, letting them pool at his feet, and walked closer to Bella without actually touching her.

Bella's eyes widened and her jaw dropped as her eyes automatically focused on Edward's genitals. He was circumcised, all smooth-looking without the excess skin, though a bit veiny and really big (_long as well_, Benedict Arnold added excitedly, a_round eight to nine inches, perhaps even ten?_). Bella rolled her eyes at her now reawakened traitor brain. Her eyes strayed to the two proportionate-to-his-penis-and-heavy-looking balls. _Ask Edward about the tea bagging that Jessica proclaimed she was a master of, Bella. Come on!_

There's no way in Satan's abode she'd ask Edward about that! That's what Google and Wikipedia were for, so just shut the frankfurter up!

_Prude. No fun prude._

She ignored the snarky comment and went back to inspecting her friend's cock. _Huh. Why would people call it that, anyway? It doesn't resemble a chicken at all._ Bella tried to imagine a chicken wearing a form fitting helmet and shook her head. _Nope, still no resemblance_. "It's really big." _And I'm stating the obvious again._

In the most impersonal voice that he could muster, Edward answered. "It's actually bigger than the average penis. I'm not bragging, just stating a fact. The reason why it's twitching a lot a few minutes ago and okay, even now, is because I'm aroused."

Bella looked up from inspecting his cock. "You're turned on."

"I was turned on the minute you removed the trench coat and showed me that," he admitted, nodding at her outfit.

"Really?"

"Yep."

She peeked at what she was wearing again and looked thoroughly proud of herself. "Imagine that. So it is true then. A piece of lingerie is effective material for foreplay."

"Another theory?" Edward teased with a little smile. "It's true, though, so that's more of a fact."

"Hey! In science the words "fact" and "theory" are interchangeable. Like the organization of the solar system, which is a simple example of a theory, is normally considered to be a fact that is explained by Newton's theory of gravity. So don't underestimate my theory," the Virgin Philosopher slash Scientist smugly replied. "As for the foreplay bit, that's what Tanya said to me."

"Tanya?"

"The very nice saleslady at the store."

He just nodded.

"So."

Edward chuckled at her attempt to sound nonchalant. "So?"

"When you're aroused you're really that huge, huh? 'Cause Barney, the purple dildo that Jessica gave me before, was not that big at all. And women buy him!"

"Yep. Bigger if I'm really, really into it." _Like right now._

Bella whistled. "So you have an _epic peen_ when you're incredibly aroused."

They simultaneously glanced at the epic peen, exchanged looks when it twitched, and promptly burst out laughing.

"This is crazy. Only you Bella; only you."

Bella winked at him then started picking up their discarded clothing. She gave back his shorts and briefs then put back her trench coat on. When everything was covered, she smiled at Edward, who went back to sit on his bed.

"I've decided when we'll do it."

That piece of news made him sit up straighter. "When?" _Down Anthony_.

Bella joined him on the bed. "The night before my birthday."

"That's next Thursday."

"Yep. Is that okay with you?"

"Of course. Whatever you've decided, I'm all for it."

Bella beamed at him again. "This is why I love you, Edward Cullen," she told him sincerely then subjected both of his cheeks to a loud smacking kiss before leaving his room.

He didn't know how long he stayed there sitting in a trance, but the sound of Bella knocking on his door again brought him back to the present. He couldn't help but grin as he walked towards the door anticipating the latest craziness she had thought of now. Or what new purchases she'd show him.

_Another lacy babydoll, this time in blue._

"Surprise."

Heidi.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: SM still owns Twilight.

Sorry for flooding your inbox, guys. Just doing some major reposting. Please bear with me :)

As usual, thanks to my darling Izzzyy :)

* * *

Chapter 7

"I brought lunch," Heidi explained, showing him a bag of God-knows-what with a pleased smile on her beautiful face.

"Oh. Uh...thanks?"

His supermodel girlfriend peered at what was behind him, making Edward frown a little. Heidi's curiosity about his room was obvious. He even saw her make a tentative step forward, most likely to ask him for a little tour. _No_. _Not gonna happen._ He quickly took the bag she was carrying with one hand while his other hand closed the door. He then guided her towards the breakfast bar, where he saw Bella talking to someone on the phone.

"Yep. See you later." A telling blush colored her cheeks, making Edward wonder who she was talking to and about . "Jess! No! Sheesh."

Jessica Stanley.

He scowled. Not good.

"No way. I won't–" Bella glanced at them discreetly, and when she caught him looking at her, her blush deepened.

_Guilty as fuck._

Yep. That sub wannabe was up to no good, and pulling Bella into it as well. Edward scowled at Miss Pushover, who rolled her eyes at him, face still red, before turning her back and walking away from them, heading towards the living room for privacy.

_Fuck privacy._

"That's really cute."

Heidi. She was here, in their house. _Stop minding Bella's business and focus on your girlfriend,_ _dufus_. He should be concentrating on her, and not on the phone conversation Bella was currently having with Crazy Jessie.

_She shouldn't be here in the first place._

Ignoring that offensive thought, he gave Heidi an inquiring look. "What's cute?"

"You and Bella," his girlfriend answered with a smile. "You two actually communicate through facial expressions."

He shrugged. "We've been sharing this house for three years and have spent an awful lot of time together. We pretty much had to form a bond − either we got along or I moved out. I chose to get along."

"And I couldn't possibly pick moving out, 'cause this is my house and I really need a roomie, so getting along it is," Bella quipped, standing beside Heidi and kissing her cheek. "Welcome to our humble abode, Gorgeous," she greeted with a grin before looking curiously at the bags. "I'd give you the grand tour, but that's Edward's responsibility, so I'll let him do that later. Anyway, what's for lunch? That is, if I'm invited, or is this a going away party for two from which I need to disappear and give you lovebirds some major alone time?" Suggestive wink.

Heidi affectionately gave Bella a side hug before opening the bags. "Of course you're invited. I brought food enough for the three of us. Besides, this is my first time to be here and hanging out with you both. I can't wait to hear stories about Edward."

"Sorry Gorgeous, but I'm pleading the fifth. Edward and I have a buddy pact of sorts. Thou Shall Not Air Dirty Laundry In Front Of Our Respective Loves," the brunette answered, winking at Edward, who froze hearing what she'd called Heidi. But, oblivious as ever, Bella thought nothing of it. Instead she marched towards the overhead cabinet to get plates.

He glanced at Heidi and inwardly cringed. She ate it up, gazing at him adoringly with both cheeks pinking a little.

Fuck.

_Again, she shouldn't be here in the first place._

"I don't really mind knowing your dirty laundry, Edward. It won't change anything."

_Ugh._

Bella _awwwwed _upon hearing that and clasped the plates on her chest while looking at them with stars in her eyes. There was a definite possibility that she was already planning what to buy as a gift for their wedding.

"The plates?" he reminded Queen Oblivious the First with a hint of irritation coloring his voice.

It may have been a hint, but Bella heard it loud and clear, because the love-struck, goofy grin she wore while watching him and Heidi disappeared. She tilted her head and eyed him in concern, her eyes silently asking him "What's going on?"

_Now _she was observant. Edward snorted a little.

Bella subtlety mimicked his left eyebrow lift. _What's up?_

He rolled his eyes at her in response. _Duh._

She wrinkled her nose in annoyance. _No it's not duh. I'm asking you what's wrong because I have no idea._

He smirked. _Of course it's duh. You're just being your usual duh self._

She squinted her eyes. _Grr._

He smirked some more and added a smug smile just to irritate her big time. _Not gonna help you figure it out._

She made a face then stuck her tongue out at him. _Fine. I forfeit. Whatever._

He chuckled. _How mature._

Heidi cleared her throat, a bit amused herself with the silent exchange going on. "Okay you two, time to eat. Who wants fried chicken?"

"Me, me and me."

The girlfriend giggled at Bella's enthusiasm as the latter put down the plates on the breakfast bar and opened the bucket in front of them. The boyfriend watched the girlfriend's amused scrutiny of his roommate and sighed.

_This is happening. They obviously like each other. They're fucking affectionate, with the kissing and side-hugging, so just deal._ _You should be happy about this_.

He wasn't.

With a sigh of resignation, Edward stood between the girls, gave Heidi her plate and took Bella's. On Bella's plate he put two pieces of chicken (including a drumstick, her favorite part), a dollop of mashed potatoes, two spoonfuls of coleslaw and then covered everything up with huge amounts of gravy until everything was drowned by it. Then he placed it in front of Bella before fixing his own. On it he only placed one chicken leg, nothing more.

Heidi's eyed widened when she saw Bella's plate. "Edward, look at what you did. That's practically..." Her voice trailed off when Bella took a piece of chicken from the shudder-worthy plate, swirled it for a second over the combination of mashed potatoes, coleslaw, and gravy, and bit into it with gusto.

"Yum!"

She wisely shut her mouth after that.

It didn't end there, though. Heidi watched in part fascination, part distaste as Edward removed all the skin from his chicken and put it on Bella's plate, which she promptly picked up and ate. When he was sure that he'd given the latter everything, he then dipped his skinless chicken leg in Bella's plate, did the swirling thing himself, and took a bite of it.

She couldn't help but gape at the both them. Watching the exchange had actually given her goose bumps, not because Bella's plate looked really − well for lack of a better description − all kinds of yucky, but because it was just so...Heidi bit her lip. _Intimate_. It was intimate.

And they were both completely unaware of it.

"I'm thirsty. Hey Gorgeous, do you want water, soda, or beer? We don't really have any liquor here, 'cause I'm allergic and Edward does all his drinking at the bar anyway," Bella inquired after a full minute of companionable silence where only the sound of eating could be heard.

"Just water. Thanks Bella."

"Let me," Edward volunteered, standing up. Bella clucked her tongue and he automatically presented his hands to her. She wiped said hands with a paper napkin then gave him another one which he used to wipe his mouth before walking towards the fridge to get two bottles of water and a beer.

Heidi didn't know if she should laugh or be weirded out by what she'd just witnessed. She glanced at Bella. The brunette continued eating as if nothing out of ordinary had occurred.

_Of course_, Heidi acknowledged. _ For her everything's normal. That's just how things are between them. They're naturally attuned to each other, like an old married couple (minus the sex)._

When Edward returned, he stopped walking in surprise, seeing both women almost huddled together talking about God knows what. Heidi had even transferred to his seat to be closer to Bella, and was dipping her own chicken on Bella's plate, all the skin removed and given to his housemate.

He frowned.

The second time around, Heidi did not just dip, but actually _swirled_ her chicken all over the plate, with Bella cheering her on. The girlfriend giggled while Queen Oblivious the First clapped her greasy hands proudly.

Edward, on the other hand, was not amused. Truth be known, he was irritated.

_For the nth time_, _she shouldn't be here in the first place._

"It was pretty fun."

_Dealing. I'm dealing._ "What was fun?" he asked, shoving aside his irritation as he placed the bottled water in front of them and sat on the stool Heidi had abandoned, while looking longingly at Bella's plate. _Too far to reach now. Damn it._

"Gorgeous asked about the way we eat our chicken and the whole swirling thing. I told her about our little adventure in San Fran, and how we came up with it. Remember the road trip we had last year? The one you invited yourself on just for the sole purpose of irritating the quiddich out of me. The book signing gig?"

"Of course I remember," he snorted. "For the record, I did not invite myself. That's offensive, Bella."

"Of course you didn't. You just assumed you were coming with us. Sorry for offending you − my bad." She rolled her eyes to punctuate the remark.

Heidi smiled. "What exactly happened?"

Edward resumed eating, attempting to look indifferent, but the reddening of his ears and neck proved otherwise. Heidi was even more curious now. Within the two months that they'd been together, Edward had never blushed. At all. God knows they'd done a lot of things that were blush-inducing. To see him all red like this, over something as ordinary as a _road trip_?

Interesting.

"My second book, _Ellie the Elephant_, was quite successful. Well, at least loved enough to have a sequel. So anyway, we were told that massive sales of the book were traced to Portland and San Francisco, so the publishing company decided that a book signing was in order, just to show how grateful and thankful we all were that they supported the book. Everything was mapped out, venues were finalized, and since I was going with Jess, my researcher, and Alec, a rep from the publishing company that would handle the tour. The three of us agreed on a road trip. Alec went all out with the planning; he made sure that the venues he booked would not be compromised and thus he made the schedule, considering we'd just be driving there. He's really organized. He managed to squeeze in sightseeing and exploring with the book signing stuff."

Bella gave the still-silent man a pointed look before continuing. "The night before we left, though, Edward learned about the entire road trip thing, and the next day I just saw him all packed up waiting for me outside my bedroom door. He informed me he was coming with us. On top of that, he insisted that we use two cars, instead of just Alec's SUV like we originally planned. Jess complained about wasting finite resources etc., etc., but Mister-I-did-not-invite-myself argued with her for about thirty minutes about the merit of taking two cars, until both Alec and Jess had to agree just to shut him up. _Then_ he asked Alec what the plan was for the road trip."

Edward choked over his chicken. Heidi rubbed his back and gave him his beer to clear away whatever it was that temporarily clogged his throat and looked inquiringly at Bella again. "Then?"

"Chaos."

Edward started to make protesting noises but Bella ignored him.

"What do you mean 'chaos?'"

"He," Bella groaned, pointing at Edward for emphasis, "made several changes in the plans that Alec painstakingly made, and proclaimed himself the boss of us."

"Now wait a minu−"

"Shhhh."

Edward looked indignantly at Bella. "You did not just−"

"Shhh. Shut up, Edward."

Heidi started laughing, making the brunette chuckle. "You haven't heard the good part yet, Gorgeous."

Edward scowled at Bella. "Touchdown."

Bella promptly closed her mouth and suddenly found the remaining food on her plate fascinating.

Heidi stopped laughing. _What just happened? _She looked at Bella and then at Edward in confusion. "Umm, I'm kinda lost. What did I miss?"

Bella gave her an almost apologetic smile then stood up with her plate. "Sorry to eat and run you guys, but I'm meeting Jess and I have to leave now."

_Wait, what?_ "But you haven't eaten dessert yet! I brought tiramisu."

The confused one watched Bella carry her plate to the sink, wash her hands and mutter something about needing to hurry, and almost run towards her room. Then, two seconds later, after calling out a "bye, and thanks for lunch!" she was gone.

Heidi turned her attention to Edward who was openly scowling now. "Edward?"

"Are you done eating?"

He _is_ angry. "Y-yes."

Edward stood up and cleared the table. When Heidi attempted to help, he refused, thanking her oh-so-politely. An uncomfortable silence followed while Edward cleaned and put the plates in the dishwasher. Another first, the model thought. They never argued nor had any lover's spats in their relationship. They always got along so well, especially in the sex department.

Heidi smiled as an idea came to mind. She stood up and quietly approached her sullen boyfriend, whose back was turned from her and was presently busy fussing over the dishes. She hugged him. Edward was only three inches taller than her, so she dropped small kisses on the nape of his neck, slightly licking the adorable moles there. When she felt Edward freeze, she pushed her body suggestively against his and tightened her arms around his waist, hands slowly inching their way to the front of his shorts.

"It's just us, hon. Fuck me here, in the kitchen. Right now," she moaned licking and sucking his right earlobe as her hands neared its target.

Edward stopped them from wandering further though. "We can't."

Misunderstanding him, Heidi backed away a little and removed her denim jacket. "Then let's go to your room." Her black tube top followed.

"Heidi, that's not—" Edward turned to explain the situation face to face but the sight of his topless girlfriend robbed him of words.

Hello Heidi's naked breasts.

Anthony twitched.

Once.

Then nothing.

_What the fuck?_

The model gave him a seductive smile as she pulled down her denim mini-skirt and kicked it away. With a playful wink, she turned and strutted towards his room.

Edward watched her walk away, eyes on his girlfriend's firm ass emphasized perfectly by the black thong she was wearing. Then Bella's round butt came to mind and he snapped to attention.

So did Anthony.

His formerly subdued dick became twitchingly alive when an image of Bella and her delicious butt appeared. _What's your fucking deal, Anthony?_ _You're selective now?_

"Ho-neeeey," Heidi's sing-song voice called out, interrupting his one-sided talk with his dick.

_Fuck, she did _not_ just enter my room. No fucking way._

He hurriedly picked up the discarded clothes and ran towards his room. Yep, Heidi was there alright. Sitting on his bed, legs just far apart enough for him to see she was no longer wearing the thong. She smiled enticingly at him as she then scooted backwards, putting her feet on the edge of the bed, and then parted her legs widely in front of him.

Open. Way too open.

Hello Heidi's pink, wet and ready for a serious fucking pussy.

Anthony twitched once, acknowledging the sight, but that's all he did. He did not even harden.

Erectile dysfunction?

_No. Wake up Anthony. Fucking wake up. Look, there's pussy!_

His naked girlfriend was inside his room, and wanted to fuck him so badly she was dripping. Okay, message received. But no, not gonna happen. Aside from Anthony's disinterest for some mind-boggling reason, he personally didn't think it was a good idea.

No, he was _sure_ it was not a good idea.

He gave her back her clothes. "I'll be in the living room."

"Edward?"

"I'll explain outside."

_I'm so confused._ Heidi sighed and put on her clothes. _What's going on here?_ If there was something that she was sure of in her relationship with Edward, it was their mutual lust for each other. Their sex life was phenomenal. They were _always_ hot for each other. Sleep was literally not an option whenever they were fucking. There had been numerous instances where they would go all night. All day even, with breaks just to eat, and even then they would remain naked and playful. Just the sight of her breasts alone could arouse Edward in an instant.

_That certainly didn't happen now, Heidi_. She'd been all naked and seductive with him. _What's the matter?_

She was about to go out of the room when something caught her eyes. There, on top of Edward's dresser, was an eight by ten black picture frame, but what stood out was the picture it displayed. Bella and Edward, with the Fisherman's Wharf sign behind them.

San Francisco.

She picked up the frame and couldn't help but smile at the picture. They were wearing identical gray hoodies, both zipped up, although Edward wore a cap underneath his. Something or someone must've been funny because Bella was laughing while Edward was grinning behind her. A stolen shot; neither of them were looking at the camera. Caught unawares, Edward was gazing down at the laughing Bella with the most tender expression on his grinning face. His green eyes were sparkling and happy while watching Bella laugh uninhibitedly.

Heidi felt something twist inside her. They didn't have any pictures together, outside of paparazzi photos taken once or twice, and the shots those whackos produced did not deserve to be framed and cherished. She returned the frame to his dresser and studied the picture for a bit. _On top of that, he's also never looked at me that way, not even once. Not even when we were fucking. No tender looks aimed at me at all. _

She cringed, recalling how brazen she'd been a while ago. Using sex to make things right when the boyfriend was all scowly and in a bad mood. That's what their relationship had been about since they hooked up: hanging out for short periods of time to fuck, and fucking, period. They only called each other girlfriend/boyfriend to make it somewhat official. But in truth, they were not far from deserving the "fuck buddies" label.

They were in it for sex.

_So why would Edward bother putting up a picture of you two, Heidi? Why seek tender looks from him now? Come on, you know the answer. You figured it out the moment you saw Edward fix Bella's plate_. _You also witnessed firsthand how, just by looking at each other, they were able to have a conversation-slash-argument about something you could never get. Denying the obvious won't help at all. Besides, you're way too smart__ to resort to that. You're in for a world of pain if you insist on something that's nothing in reality._

And just like that she wasn't confused anymore. Accepting the inevitable, she opened the door and walked outside of Edward's room. She caught him pacing in the living room. When he saw her, he stopped and faced her running his hand over his already messy hair.

"Heidi—"

"You don't have to explain. I completely understand."

"You do?"

She nodded.

"Did I mention the housemate agreement before?" Edward asked her, clearly surprised.

"Yes, in passing. No sleepovers, right? I totally get it."

Sigh of relief. "I hope I didn't offend you."

"Technically, if we did fuck here it wouldn't be considered sleeping over, because I'd leave afterwards," Heidi said then straightened. "And I truly believe that Bella wouldn't mind if we had sex here." _You, on the other hand..._

Edward shook his head.

"Please sit down and let me talk. I think you need to hear what I have to say, Edward."

Heidi looked so serious and resolute all of a sudden – determined to make a point. On what, exactly, he didn't know. So he did sit.

"We have to break up."

_What?_

"No, I take that back. What I meant to say was we _need_ to break up."

Edward just looked at her.

"I like you. A lot. I think if circumstances had been different, I would have eventually fallen in love with you. It was bound to happen sooner or later." _Liar. You're half in love with him already._ Heidi shoved that thought aside before continuing. "You're wonderful, Edward. It didn't hurt that the sex was beyond great. If it was up to me, I would keep you. I would want to still be the Energizer Bunny's girlfriend. But the fact remains that this isn't about me. However much I want to stay with you, I can't... I won't. Why? Because you belong to someone else. To _Bella_."

Edward scoffed. "And here I thought you were different from the others." He pinched the bridge of his nose and stood up. "But you're not. You're spewing words like that because you're jealous of Bella's presence in my life—"

"No," Heidi calmly interrupted him. "I'm not spewing words − as you called it − out of jealousy. I'm saying these things now because I _don't_ want to end up like them. I don't want to become bitter and hate Bella. I liked her. I still do. Very much. I could actually see us staying friends for a long, long time. She's different from the usual people that I am surrounded with. She's real. She doesn't have any agendas. She liked me for _me_. She talked to me because she wanted to, not because she had to gain something from it."

She paused for a full minute then sighed. "Modelling is a tough industry to be in, Edward. It's full of backstabbing, conniving people who do their best to one-up you. I'm exposed to resentment and bitterness all the time. I never wanted that kind of poison in my personal life, and I'm sure that if I insisted on continuing this relationship, there would be no avoiding that. So I made a choice. Instead of losing you and Bella in the near future, I choose to just be a friend. At least with that I have you both in my life without the soul-eating bitterness and resentment that could age me tenfold. "

Silence.

Heidi patiently waited, letting Edward figure out what he wanted to say. She watched him run his left hand over his crazy hair again then pull on it for a second before dropping said hand. Then he cleared his throat.

"In a nutshell, you just want to be friends," Edward clarified.

She nodded.

"Because you don't want to hate and resent us – Bella and me – in the end," he added.

Another nod.

"Because you think I belong to Bella," he continued, now using a patronizing tone.

She shook her head, partly in exasperation from hearing the tone of voice he was using.

"You don't think I belong to Bella? But you just said—"

Irritated sigh. "I don't _think_ you belong to Bella. I _know_. I'm _sure_ you belong to Bella."

Snort. "That's crap, Heidi. We're just friends. Best buddies, nothing more."

"That's crap, Edward," she mocked, sneering a bit. "You're way beyond friends."

"Whatever," he rolled his eyes, waving the white flag just to end the absurd conversation. "Fine. If you want to be just friends, then just friends it is."

Heidi smiled at his acquiescence then reached out to hug him. He hugged her back. When she released him, Heidi gave her now-ex-boyfriend a measuring look before walking towards the couch where she'd left her purse. When she faced him again, she opened her mouth then hesitated.

"What?"

"Promise me one thing."

Edward looked dubious and did not answer. Promises were always a huge thing for him.

"You owe me big time for breaking up with you and making things easier for you, Edward Cullen. You may not appreciate it now, but I'm one hundred percent certain that once you totally figure everything out, you'll be so grateful to me you'll name your firstborn Heidi. So make me a promise. Now."

_Yeah, yeah whatever._ "Fine. Promise."

"Good," Heidi grinned at him, "Promise me that you'll open your mind, even just once, and go through everything that you've done with Bella for the past three years, looking at it as if you're not the one involved, but a bystander. Recall how Edward interacted with Bella. How Edward treated Bella. How Edward looked at Bella. Then reconcile everything. Start by looking at the picture in your room. But remember, you have to have an _open_ _mind_ while adapting a male's perspective devoid of any prejudices and thoughts made by someone who has conditioned himself that he's just best buddies with Bella Swan. In short, look at things as a detached Edward observing a man sharing a house with an exceptionally attractive, funny and amazing woman for three years."

Edward did his left eyebrow lift move.

"Do not even _attempt_ to intimidate me, Edward Cullen. You already promised."

He shook his head in disbelief. "For an ex-girlfriend, your vigilance in pushing Bella under my nose astounds me. I didn't know you were into matchmaking, Heidi."

"Say what you want to say, Edward. At the end of the day, you still promised that you'll do something for me, and you will honor that promise. You're that kind of a man. I may not know you that well, but I can figure things out," Heidi replied, walking towards the door, telling him via a hand signal that he needn't walk her out. "Besides, it's about time you finally admit the truth, Edward. You deserve it. It's high time you acknowledge the fact that you're in love with Bella Swan." With that, she opened the door and left.

Heidi thought he was in love with Bella.

_The fuck?_

Jealous.

Yep. Heidi was jealous alright, however much she denied it. Just like the others before her. She just had the decency to be the one ending their relationship and in a classier way compared to the others who ranted and raved about how awful Bella was for ruining their relationship. Heidi was nice and it didn't hurt that she truly wanted to be friends with Bella and him, but God, what was up with her annoying interpretations? That was one of the big differences she had with the others as well. Nobody blamed him for the demise of their so-called relationship. All of those girls blamed _Bella_. Now, not that Heidi was blaming or anything, an ex-girlfriend told him he was harboring romantic feelings over Bella and that's why their relationship would never work.

'_Coz apparently I belong to Bella._ He rolled his eyes.

Silliest. Most. Ridiculous. Fucking. Statement. Ever.

Of course he loved Bella Swan. She was his only female friend. She was his best female buddy. Life had been better with Bella around, there was no denying that. But _in love_ with her? He scoffed.

Hell no!


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: SM owns everything.

Thanks to Izzzyy :)

* * *

Chapter 8

Edward pulled up the hood of his jacket and then zipped it mid-chest as it started to drizzle. One of the perks of living just a block away from the bar was that he could walk home, and even if it rained hard he wouldn't get too soaked.

_Too soaked_ meaning his boxer shorts would remain dry. The rest, forget it. He was too busy mulling over his conversation with Jasper to care anyway. It was starting to feel like he was pulling a Bella: over thinking all sorts of crazy stuff, because honestly, the whole you're-in-love-with-Bella-Swan subject that Heidi had broached hours ago was plain crazy.

Then Jasper fucking Whitlock put his two cents in.

First Heidi, now _Jasper_?

One topic, same conclusion.

From two different people.

The fuck?

"_I thought your delicious girlfriend was leaving the country tomorrow? What the hell are you doing here? Don't tell me counting boxes of beers, updating inventory and preparing purchase orders is more important than fucking Heidi Bradley all night?"_

"_We broke up."_

_Jasper dropped the inventory sheet he was holding to gawk at him. "Really?"_

_Nod._

_The tall blond groaned. "Damn dude, you should've broken up with her a month ago! Now I owe Emmett two nights of free liquor. Shit, Ben too. Man, I hate losing."_

_Edward snorted. "You had bets about my relationship?"_

"_Relationships, boss. With an 's,'" Jasper corrected then picked up the sheet before settling comfortably in one of the chairs in front of his table, "We've been doing that since Irina. And I always won, until now, anyway."_

"_Irina?" He dated an Irina?_

_Laughing out loud, his manager raised a hand then pretended to slap someone. Edward scowled, finally remembering who Irina was exactly._

_Irina Parker: the bitch who'd tried to physically hurt Bella. Well the first one in a long line, honestly. "You've been betting about me for three years? Get a life, you fuckers."_

"_Come on dude, we're living vicariously through you. My life's boring, Ben's celibate until Angela Weber decides to put out – good luck with that, by the way — and Emmett's on a leash. Watching you move from woman to woman, and they're all mighty fine, so kudos to you, trying to fuck Bella out of your system is fun__."_

_Silence. _

_Edward closed his laptop none-too-gently and glowered at Jasper. "What's that supposed to mean?"_

"_To be blunt: you're so into Bella, I'm pretty sure that in the deepest part of your mind you're already married to her."_

_Bar Owner: stupefied into speechlessness._

_Bar Manager: smugly beaming._

_When Edward burst out laughing, though, smug Jasper couldn't help but roll his eyes. "Here we go. The denials will now come in buckets. Hit me."_

"_That's got to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard! Even Heidi's claim that I am in love with Bella doesn't top that."_

"_She said that?"_

"_Yes, after she broke up with me."_

_Jasper whistled. "Well, well, Heidi. I'm impressed. I didn't expect her to be that sharp. Not gonna lie dude, the thought of someone dumping you for a change makes me believe there's still hope for mankind."_

_Edward snorted. "Big fucking deal."_

_Laugh. "Of course it's a big deal! You're Edward Cullen. Nobody breaks up with you. It's always you breaking their hearts, never the other way around. Although I sincerely doubt Heidi could break your heart," Jasper shook his head. "Did she throw a hissy fit? Bawl her eyes out or scream at Bella like the majority of your exes did?"_

"_No. She was really cool about the entire thing and she even wanted to remain friends with Bella and me. It's a relief, actually. You know, breaking up minus the drama. And for the record, I do _not_ have that many ex-girlfriends."_

"_Riiiight."_

"_Fuck you, Whitlock."_

"_Whatever man," Jasper answered, completely unaffected. "Back to Heidi. She broke up with you and still wants to be friends with not just you, but with Bella as well. She did not throw a hissy fit, so she's not angry, even if she did mention you being in love with Bella. That sounds too perfect. What's the catch?"_

"_Nothing."_

"_Nothing my ass. We're dealing with a chick here, Edward. There's always a catch."_

_Pause._

"_I knew it! Man, I'm so good. Spit it out, boss, what's the fucking catch?"_

"_She asked me to reflect on my relationship with Bella for the past three years," the reluctant-to-share-boss admitted with a snort. "That's not my thing, but she made me promise. Heidi is convinced that I'm being deliberately blind over the reality of my feelings for Bella. She told me straight up that I'm fucking in love with her, and that I _belong_ to her. To Bella, I mean."_

_Jasper just stared at him._

"_What?"_

_Shrug. "Like what I said earlier, you're into Bella. You are in love with her, dude. Heidi saw it. I've been seeing it for three years. All the guys here call her Mrs. Cullen behind your back. Emmett has said that watching you pine over her gave him ulcer. Ben thought it was commendable, but then again he's currently growing a pussy, so nobody pays any attention to his opinion. Whenever you don't show up on our poker nights, we badmouth you." Jasper burst out laughing._

"_Fuckers." _

_That made the blond laugh even harder._

_Edward shook his head. "What the fuck ever. Bottom line, I'm not in love with Bella, and I've never been in love with her. She's just my best buddy who I happen to share a home with."_

_Right. That's why he just referred to the house as home. "Really?" Jasper asked._

_Affirmative nod._

"_So that's why you glower at anyone with a dick who attempts to even sit beside her every time she visits here, because she's just your best buddy." He snorted. "That's why gayer-than-gay-Tyler nearly got punched in the face when he oh-so-innocently asked you a month ago if Bella was free to hang out with him and his boyfriend Marcus. The poor guy only wanted to watch movies with her, and you started yelling 'there's no way in hell I'll let you have a threesome with Bella!' I mean dude, since when did watching a chick flick translate to having a threesome?"_

_Eerie silence. _

"_Oh, and yeah, the memo you circulated last month about the 'No Looking At Bella Below the Chin' policy? That's not even connected to the bar! And just to clear the air, why not below the neck, anyway? That's still a bit far from her...okay moving on, stop glaring at me, geez. You're totally losing it, dude. And would you stop threatening all of us? We got it, loud and clear. We mess around Bella, and it's goodbye job. Geez. I don't know what happened to you last month, but your usual protectiveness over Bella multiplied to epic proportions."_

"_I'm just protecting her from all of you. Nobody has any right to disrespect Bella."_

_Jasper sighed. "We would never disrespect her. I know you know that, Edward. We may act like typical male pigs to most women, but not to everyone. We treat her and Rose differently. We even tolerate Bella's friend, even if she's a notorious flirt that scared James a little. And that's a feat, you know. James humps anyone with pussy, but Bella's friend could give Kathy Bates' character in _Misery_ a run for her money. I still have recurring nightmares about when she stalked me for weeks and that was three years ago."_

_Edward remained quiet._

"_I will level with you, okay?" Jasper asked then waited for his acquiescence. When he nodded, the blond cleared his throat before speaking. "Honestly, I have a thing for Bella. I admit it. It's on and off, the feeling, but it never leaves me completely, if you know what I mean."_

"_Not gonna happen, Whitlock. Ever."_

"_Don't kill me yet. I'm not done talking."_

_Edward narrowed his eyes at the man sitting in front of him. "We're friends, and I do value your work, but know this, Whitlock: I would not regret letting you go if I had to. Or kicking your ass, whichever comes first."_

"_Threats again? Whatever, Edward. You're working up a temper over nothing, dude. I won't cross the friendship line with her. Promise." Jasper took a deep breath. "I liked Bella a lot. We shared a few things in common. I mean we both liked reading and...moving on. I wanted to date her. I didn't act on it, though, out of respect for you, and as I said, it was an on and off thing. Ever heard of the saying "it takes one to know one"? Yeah, totally applicable in our situation. The only difference is that what you're feeling for her isn't on and off. It's consistently been there, all the time, for three freaking years. Even when you're with a girlfriend, your topmost priority is always Bella. Hell, Edward, you even voluntarily left the bar for two weeks just to make sure that Alec dude wouldn't try anything with her. You never, ever__, __leave town. You even refused to go scouting for a new area, just within the state, as potential location for another bar, but you willingly left me in charge and went on a road trip to be with her. How could you not see what that meant back then, dude? That's practically putting a neon-yellow post it in your forehead with the words 'Bella Swan owns me' in all capital letters. You would leave town, even the state, if Bella was with you. If not, forget it. Forget about business expansion. And yeah, also forget about buying your own house, even if you can afford it now. Face it Edward: all your major life decisions depend on Bella. So, sorry to burst your bubble, but no, she's not just your best buddy. She's your freaking _life_."_

_Edward abruptly stood up. "I'm not listening to this crap anymore. I'm going home. Finish the inventory, Whitlock, and stop psychoanalyzing me. I'm paying you to work, not to drown me with your crazy theories."_

_Jasper sighed in frustration but kept his mouth shut. Determined to knock some sense into Edward's stubborn head, he saw the opportunity when the mule was just a step away from the door. Just spit it out Jasper. The gist of it! "Dude, wait."_

"_What now?" Edward practically snarled in irritation._

"_Do not expect every single man to give in and leave Bella alone out of respect for you. Someone will eventually make a move, with or without you around. Bella's amazing, and inevitably men will flock around her, no matter how much you try to intimidate them. If you continue doing this whole denial thing, you will wake up one day and it'll be too late. You'll see her in a relationship with a man named Jacob who'll sweep her off her feet and take her away."_

_Scowl_. "_There's a Jacob? Who the fuck is Jacob? Have you seen him?"_

_Sheesh. "I just used a random name, and I'm merely stating an example. There's no real Jacob."_

"_Then why use that name if everything's just random talk? There _is_ a Jacob and you're just protecting him!"_

_"There's no Jacob! That's just the first name that came to mind, but there's nothing significant about it. It's most likely because the last book I read was _Water for Elephants_, which Bella recommended, by the way, and the main dude's name there is Jacob. That's it. Chill."_

_Edward took a deep breath and ran his fingers over his hair in agitation. "What the fuck ever. I'm leaving." _

End of conversation.

_Yep, that's that._ Edward crossed the street and walked towards their front door. _Jasper better be telling the truth about this Jacob_. When he opened the door, he heard the faint sound of a man...grunting?

Jacob? _Just random talk my ass._

He quickly pushed the door open and closed it with a bang. He trotted towards the living room, ready for a full-on fight with the fucker.

"Hey you. You're early."

Bella was alone, sitting comfortably on the couch with a bowl of popcorn on her lap and licorice in her left hand. She was wearing his favorite Stoli shirt (which she'd stolen and claimed as hers using the finders keepers excuse) and pajama pants, while her hair was on a messy bun on top of her head.

No Jacob. And yet there was still a man grunting.

Confused, he looked at the TV and his jaw dropped. Bella was watching _porn_. And she was eating popcorn and licorice as if she was watching her usual chick flick.

Could porn be considered a chick flick? _And you're asking yourself this because...?_

He moved to sit beside her. "Why are you watching porn?"

"Immersion purposes."

_Don't go there, Edward. You know what happens when you try to decode Bella Swan's mind. Don't ask. Don't ask!_ "What?" _Fuck._

"For immersion purposes. Jess suggested that I expose myself more to images and scenes like that so when the time comes when I'm the one doing all that stuff I won't _kill the mood_ by blushing the entire time. Or embarrass my partner by staring at his man parts instead of being an active participant in the act," Bella replied, giving him the bowl of popcorn and then taking a small bite of licorice as she watched the excessively noisy woman spread her legs wider for the very enthusiastic man.

She winced. "Honestly, that looks scary. His enthusiasm is so exaggerated; the poor woman's magic button is in serious danger of falling off. I mean, could he at least be gentle with the licking? It boggles my mind how people get off from watching this. Why? The sex act is horribly orchestrated, and how many genital close ups are needed to make a point? I got it by just watching two crotch shots. It's not like we don't know what our genitals look like in the first place. One's a hanging tool with two balls; the other a mound with lips that hide a magic button and a hole."

Edward choked on his popcorn.

Bella glanced at him. "You okay? Need some water?"

He swallowed audibly and shook his head. "I'm fine."

"Oh and now he's doing that. Bleh," Bella, the Roger Ebert wannabe, commented, then reached for the remote to pause the video. Edward was treated to a frozen image of a man's dick spewing cum all over an obviously fake pair of tits.

Thanks to Bella's open disgust at the visual, even Anthony the Perv refused to twitch. And that was a first. He was a normal libidinous male. He enjoyed watching porn from time to time, especially during his dry periods A. K. A. when he was in between girlfriends and not getting some. Admittedly, he'd done the whole shooting-his-cum-on-other-interesting-places numerous times. Hell, most women begged for it. Heidi included. It was kinky and hot. Seeing Bella's reaction made him feel severely chastised, though. _Fuck, now she's making me feel guilty over something considered sexually fun and normal._

"I'm going to get water, want one?"

He cleared his throat. "Coke, please. Thanks."

"No prob," Bella answered, then peered at him. "You're a bit wet Edward, don't you want to change clothes?"

He shrugged off his jacket. "Nah. It's just the jacket – my shirt and jeans are dry."

Edward watched Bella walk away then turned to get a piece of licorice from the plate. He spotted the infamous notebook beside it. It was open, and written in bold letters across the top of the page were the words: _THINGS TO ASK EDWARD ASAP_. Checking to see if Bella was coming, and hearing her rummage inside their fridge, he picked up the notebook and check what those things were.

His heart rate went up when he started reading.

1. To shave or not to shave? Waxing hurts (she drew a sad face beside it), but Jess said a hairy vagina could be a turn off, depending on the man's preference. Based on her experience, eight out of ten liked it bare. Ask Edward before Thursday!

2. Blow job – does he want me to do it on Thursday? If yes, that's a big problem since I have no idea how to do it. (There was another sad face) Watching porn makes it look easy, but then again that's _porn_. Women in those are experienced professionals. Should I practice? With a cucumber? Banana? On Edward's penis? But he's huge, so I don't know... my poor mouth! Then again I just recently found out that I don't have a gag reflex. That's good, right? Just ask Edward.

3. Swallow or not?

4. What time should we do it on Thursday?

5. I know where I want it to happen but I need Edward's permission (she drew a smiley face after the last word).

Number two woke Anthony up. From flaccid to hard as a rock in seconds, he was completely awake and alert. It was crazy, but true. It didn't help that the image of Bella practicing on him kept on repeating in his mind. And her lack of gag reflex? _Oh God_.

Then there was Bella contemplating about swallowing.

Edward adjusted an extremely excited Anthony.

He quickly returned the notebook to where he got it, and rubbed his face with his left hand. He was reacting like a typical man. A blowjob was a blowjob. No man in his right mind could, or would, resist. Pair it with the image of Bella doing it to him, and swallowing..._fuck_.

And then number one entered his mind and Anthony was twitching like mad again. If his dick could talk, it'd be screaming: _Fuck it, Edward! Fuck it now! We don't care if she has an entire forest down there, fuck it right now! Get me in there!_

"Here you go."

Accepting the can of Coke, he discreetly adjusted the jacket on his lap, making sure it covered his overeager dick. For added measure, he took one of the throw pillows and put in on his lap as well.

Bella offered him a plate of tiramisu. "Remind me to thank your gorgeous girlfriend. This is _so_ good."

"Make that gorgeous _ex_-girlfriend," he corrected watching her eat.

The plate would have met its doom if it weren't for Edward's reflexes. _Reflexes. Lack of...Jesus Christ. Anthony, calm down you freak!_

"What!"

Focus, Edward! "We broke up," he admitted, putting the saved plate at the center of the table.

Bella covered her mouth, a horrified expression on her face. "Because of me?"

Okay. Trick question. How could he answer that without alerting her to Heidi's fucked up misconceptions? Edward took his time answering, making a great show of opening the Coke can, and then took the longest drink he could bear before putting the can beside the saved plate. "I'll get the coaster—"

"Forget the coaster!" Bella exclaimed in a shrill voice, waving her fork around in agitation. "I don't care! Tell me what happened. Why did you break up with her? We love Heidi!" Now she sounded a bit whiny.

Taking the fork away from her before she hurt herself, Edward put it on the plate as well then sighed. "We both know that I don't love her, Bella. I liked her a lot, sure, but love her? No. So why prolong a relationship when you know nothing will come out of it? Besides, we're still friends. She's different from my other exes. She doesn't hate you, for one, and there's the fact that she wants to remain friends with you as well." _And _she's_ the one who broke up with _me.

"Really?"

Nod. "Really."

Bella was quiet for a full minute before she started sniffing. When Edward looked closely, he saw why. She's crying her fucking eyes out! "Hey. What are the tears for?"

Sniff. "I'm just sad. I truly liked Heidi for you, Edward. You two were perfect for each other. Physically, God your babies would've been out-of-this-world gorgeous. I'd prepped myself to be the most awesome Aunt and Godmother ever. Personality-wise, you were both so cool. When we were having lunch, I felt so comfortable with her. With your past girlfriends, I was forced to eat salad and imagine the dressing just so I wouldn't offend them, and still, if looks could kill I would've been dead the minute I appeared. I mean, really, I don't usually eat salad, especially without a dressing, but for them I did. Yet there was still so much hate. Heidi was not like that at all. She even gave me all the skin off her chicken! " Pause. "She gave me the skin, Edward! She was _that_ awesome!"

Wailing ensued. Anthony got so scared he deflated immediately.

"And...and she..." Bella sniffed. "She..tried our gravy/coleslaw mix, even though it looks disgusting. And she loved it!"

More tears and wailing. _Shit._ Edward winced, pulling Bella to him, and gave her a comforting hug. "She'll still be around. She wants to remain friends with the both of us, remember? Stop crying." He kissed the top of her head and got the box of tissues he'd spotted on the corner table. When he returned and offered the box, Bella accepted it and mumbled "thanks."

After wiping her cheeks, blowing her nose and dabbing at the corners of her eyes, Bella took a deep, calming breath then looked at him. "I remembered something."

He just lifted a brow, completely dreading what she recalled, but trying to act nonchalant.

"You used your safe word. You didn't want me to tell Heidi about our road trip. Why?"

Shrug. "She's not part of it, so why tell her?"

"That's cold."

"Why? Just because we were in a relationship it didn't mean I had to tell her everything."

"Like breaking my hymen." Bella facepalmed. "Oh no, maybe that's it, Edward! I don't know how, but Heidi must've learned about the entire thing and flipped out! Let's face it, she's the girlfriend, and even if the entire sex thing was done as a favor, it's still having sex with another female. God! I'm so stupid. So, _so_ stupid."

"Bel—"

"No! Sorry to cut you off, Edward, but if there's a chance that Heidi will take you back if you tell her that we didn't push through with it then we won't do it. I'm cancelling our agreement. Go back to Heidi and apologize. I will too. I'll just think of another way to lose my virginity."

If Anthony could talk, he'd most likely scream a prolonged "_Nooooooo!"_ right about now.

So Edward did the talking. For both his dick and himself. "No."

"Are you crazy? Heidi's great and—"

"Now I'm the one interrupting. Listen Bella, and listen well, okay? Honestly? I've thought about telling her, more for your sake than mine. I know you wouldn't want to hurt her. But in reality, if knowing that I agreed to help you lose your virginity would make her angry enough to give me an ultimatum, you or her, I'd choose you. No brainer. I told you before; I've always got your back, above anyone else. So this break up was actually a good thing."

Not that choosing Bella over a girlfriend was a new thing to begin with. It was always that type of confrontation that left him single every time. Heidi got his respect for being different.

"_Face it, Edward, all your major life decisions depend on Bella. So sorry to burst your bubble but no, she's not just your best buddy. She's your freaking _life_."_

He frowned a little hearing Jasper's voice in his head. _Shut up, Whitlock. Since when did breaking up with a girlfriend become a major life decision?_ And since when did another voice, besides Anthony, appear magically in his head?

Complete madness.

"Edward? Thank you, but you have to give in sometimes and let a girlfriend win. You're not getting any younger. In two years time you'll be thirty. If your relationships keep ending this way, with you always defending and choosing me over them, you will never find the right person for you. I shouldn't even be in the equation. I'm not going anywhere. I will always be your friend, even if the love of your life ends up hating me, which, based from past experience, is not a far-fetched reality. I'll just make myself scarce so as not incur her wrath or something. Yes, we will have to spend less time together or endure a long-distance friendship, but bottom line, we'll still be friends. Nothing, and no one, can change that."

She paused for a second then sighed. "You may admit it or not, but Edward, you wouldn't have a long line of ex-girlfriends if you personally were not into relationships. Come on, let's be real about this. You're into commitment. You could easily just have one-night stands, but no, you enter into coupledom and you never cheat. You're the proverbial one-woman man. If I wasn't in the picture, I'd be sure one of them was it. One of them was _The One_."

Edward stared at her for a long time, not saying anything. The look was weird enough, but seeing him like that, unmoving and unblinking, was bizarre.

Edward stared at her for a long time, not saying anything. The look was weird enough but seeing him like that, unmoving and unblinking, was bizarre.

_Was he even breathing?_

When a full five minutes passed and he still remained immobile, Bella reached out to pat his left cheek lightly. "Edward? Hel-looo? Still there?"

He blinked a couple of times then touched the hand on his cheek, entwining it with his own. He still didn't say anything, though. Edward just focused his now unwavering stare at their joined hands.

_What was going on here?_


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: SM owns everything.

Thanks Izzzyy :)

* * *

Chapter 9

It was official. He'd fucking lost his mind.

Edward tried to snap out of whatever funk he was in and assure Bella that he just zoned out a bit, and that he'd gotten lost thinking over mundane things. _Unimportant stuff_, he'd tell her, _No big deal really_.

He couldn't.

One, there were now three voices yapping away in his head saying the same things over and over again.

"_I don't __think__ you belong to Bella, I __**know**__. I'm __**sure**__ you belong to Bella." _He heard Heidi's voice, all-knowing, cool and calm as she stressed the supposed fact after breaking up with him.

"_To be blunt: you're so into Bella, I'm pretty sure in the deepest part of your mind you're already married to her." _Jasper chimed in, all smug yet seriously determined to make him realize what was supposedly obvious to everyone except himself.

"_You're the proverbial one-woman man. If I wasn't in the picture, I'm sure one of them had been it. One of them had been '__The One.'" _Bella insisted she was the reason all of his relationships failed.

Two, one statement Bella made that offended him greatly: "_I shouldn't even be in the equation."_ Why did it bug him to hear her say that? In some ways he completely understood why Bella would make such claim. She only wanted him to be happy and settled with someone, not losing them because he always defended her and chose her over them. But then again, didn't she know how important she was to him? Really Bella? Seriously? You have no idea?

_Bullshit._

Three, he had to admit that when Bella started talking about "The One" the only person that immediately came to mind had been - well, _her_. Though there was never any romantic subtext with his version of "The One" compared to what Bella had been describing. Their relationship had been consistently platonic for three years, and yes - he dated a lot. He had a string of girlfriends, and even if the longest had been two months, he was faithful. He was a serial monogamist, truth be told. But there was always Bella. He would change girlfriends, but Bella remained, the only one who stayed. Simply put, Bella was "The One" for him because she would always be there with him.

_Because I would never let her go._

Edward stared at the hand he was holding and took a deep breath. That sounded a _bit_ romantic. _Okay, a _lot_ romantic, Fuck you Heidi and Jasper_. This was entirely their fault. The reflecting and looking at things with an open mind was fucking wreaking havoc in his brain. Everything was simpler without it.

"_Do not expect every single man to give in and leave Bella alone out of respect for you. Someone will eventually make a move - with or without you around. Bella's amazing and inevitably men will flock around her, no matter how much you try to intimidate them. If you continue doing this whole denial thing, you will wake up one day and it'll be too late. You'll see her in a relationship with a man named Jacob who'll sweep her off her feet and take her away."_

Hello, Jasper's voice in his head. Edward frowned a bit. Okay, since he was doing this analyzing his alleged feelings bullshit, he'd go all out. If he was indeed in denial, _what was in here that I am supposedly denying?_

"Edward? I can't feel my hand anymore."

He loosened his hold and muttered an apology but her hand remained clutched in his. He couldn't seem to let go just yet. The inability to let go_._ Was that a sign that you were in love with someone? What does it mean when you do everything in your power to keep that someone with you, even choosing her over your present girlfriend, or in his case, ex-girlfriends?

And then there's his overprotectiveness. Was it really just that or he's masking a bigger reason? Perhaps jealousy? _I did hover over Bella during our road trip._ Edward smiled arrogantly to himself. That Alec fucker wasn't able to spend a single spare moment with Bella because he changed the itinerary. _Job well done, Edward_. He mentally patted his back.

So, if he really was just a bystander, and could see himself like Heidi encouraged him to do, what would he think of himself?

_My head aches with this too much thinking and analyzing. Never-ending questions with no clear answers. I need a break._

Bella chuckled beside him and he sneaked a look. She went back to watching porn while chewing licorice with her free hand. The brunette most likely decided that there was no use asking him for information tonight and let him be. Well, knowing Bella, she'd open the topic soon enough.

When she burst out laughing, he looked curiously at the screen. Since when did porn become a comedy? Well apparently seeing a woman spread out in an almost split while her partner ate her pussy struck Bella's funny bone. She couldn't stop laughing.

"What's so funny about that?" he asked curiously squeezing her hand.

Bella dropped the licorice on her lap and wiped the tears in the corner of her eyes before picking up the candy again since her other hand was still occupied. "How could you not laugh at that Edward? Look at her. The veins in her neck are popped with exertion, trying to stretch her legs that far apart. I don't get it. Why spread herself like that? He's not even penetrating her. Besides, they should have taken a break first since the man just ejaculated anyway."

Anthony started to awaken hearing the words _penetrating_ and _ejaculated_. The ever pervy, preeny peen. He ignored him. "Well some men would remain hard even after cumming."

"Really?"

He nodded, welcoming the change of topic. Sex he could talk about. Everything's clear cut when it comes to sex. There was no over thinking or analyzing needed.

"Like you?"

Aaaand Anthony was back. "Well, not always, but most of the time." Cocky much? Well Anthony sure was and since the cocky cock was attached to him...welll...Edward smiled.

Bella considered his answer for a second then grinned teasingly at him. "So the Energizer Bunny Legend was true after all, huh?"

He just smirked.

"Do I have to take vitamins in preparation for Thursday?" she inquired, obviously joking. "So let's see, I have to take my usual pill then some supplements as well."

Forget the supplements! "You're on the pill?"

"Since high school."

"Why? It's not like you have an active sex life."

Bella paused the video again and turned to face him. "I don't know how to tell you this Edward, but I'm an addict. Pills in particular give me the kind of high that I really, really crave," she deadpanned, then rolled her eyes, "For my periods, Edward. It helps regulate them! Pills have other uses, too you know."

"Oh."

"Yes. Oh," she mimicked then peered at him, "You okay now? Back from wherever you went to awhile ago?"

_Am I ready to talk to her about this fucking subject? Hell, I'm not even ready to deal with it myself – whatever the fuck this is anyway – so why pull Bella into this mess?_ "I just zoned out a bit. I'm fine."

Bella hmm-ed, obviously unconvinced. "Dude, I know _I_ zone out, but you? Never. I'm more prone to do that, not you, and what's up with the hand holding? Are you into PDA now Edward Anthony Masen Cullen?"

Anthony twitched hearing his name. _I swear to God my fucking dick thinks he's a person just because I named him._ "Do you mind me holding your hand?"

"Nah, I think it's sweet. Holding hands while watching porn. As I said, _sweet_," Bella answered with a perfectly straight face. Then they exchanged looks and both burst out laughing.

When the laughter subsided, Bella squeezed his hand then cleared her throat. "You know you can always talk to me about anything right?"

Nod.

She nodded as well, then let go of his hand to reach for her notebook. "Right. Since obviously there really is something on your mind that you're not yet ready to tell me, I'll let you off the hook. I have some questions to ask you anyway and I think its best we discuss them now."

Breathing a sigh of relief with an enthusiastic Anthony on the side, Edward shifted positions a little then gave her an encouraging smile. "Ask away."

Bella took a deep, calming breath and frowned at her notebook. "This is sort of awkward."

"I've read them," he admitted seeing her discomfort, "I couldn't help it. Sorry."

"When?" Bella's face started to redden.

Edward's ears started to heat up. _Fuck_. "When you went to the kitchen to get us drinks."

She rolled her eyes then hit him once on the head using the notebook. "What a snoop."

"Well when I saw my name in bold letters I couldn't help it. Come on, let's go through your questions one by one and be done with it. Thursday is just around the corner," he reminded her, trying to act like everything was normal in an attempt to make her comfortable.

_Thursday. Can't wait to feel Bella's wetness surrounding me. Oooh the tightness during the initial slide in. The suction and pressure when pulling out. The slide back in..._

Edward shifted again. _Shut up, Anthony. Just fucking shut up or I'll change your name to Gollum and we both know he's one freaky looking dude. You wouldn't want to be associated with something like that right, my precious?_

Did he just threaten his own dick? Yep, he'd definitely lost his mind.

"Fine," Bella agreed completely oblivious to the mental turmoil the man beside her was having since she was on the verge of having a conniption fit herself. With a sigh, she raised her notebook and cringed at her first question. _Just ask the frankfurter question Isabella!_ "Umm...which do you prefer a hairy...-" She coughed, "vagina or a completely bare one?"

Edward scratched the back of his head then shrugged. "I'm not really particular. Honestly Bella, I don't care either way."

"Really?"

"Yeah. As long as Anthony's getting pussy, all's well with me." _Fuck! Did I just...?_

"Who's Anthony?"

_I did. Fuckfuckfuck. _He opened his mouth but nothing came out. How could he tell Bella that he named his dick? Edward hoped to God she wouldn't figure it out by herself. He glanced at her and could actually pinpoint the exact moment when she did. _God hates me._ He covered his face in embarrassment and muttered _fuuuuck._

"Anthony's huge," she commented then burst out laughing.

The pervy peen preened some more, lengthening and hardening within the confines of his jeans. Edward wished the floor would open and swallow him whole. He was so embarrassed - he was blushing like a girl. "Thanks for not laughing at me."

Wiping the tears from her eyes, Bella patted Edward's left cheek. "I'm not laughing _at_ you. I'm laughing at the situation."

He scowled. "You're laughing at the situation that _I_ am in. So basically that's still laughing at me."

"No," she denied, with a shake of her head, "I was laughing at the situation that we're _both_ in."

_Huh?_ "Huh?"

Bella chuckled. "I laughed at the fact that we both have names for our private parts."

What.

The.

Fuck.

"You called your penis Anthony. Well, I named my vagina Marie."

_I want Marie! I want Marie! I want Marie now!_

Blatantly ignoring Gollum, Edward expelled a breath. "Let me get this straight - your pussy has a name?"

"Marie," Bella confirmed.

Wow.

"See, Edward? How could I laugh at you? We're the same!"

He cleared his throat. "This conversation better not reach Rose, Jessica and Alice's ears, Bella."

"Of course, I promise," Bella assured him with a smile, "Just so you know, you're the only person I've shared this particular information with. So I better not have Jasper or Emmett or any of guys at the bar know about Marie either."

"I would never discuss you and Marie to anyone, much less to them. I promise." _Hell freezes over first before I let any pervert picture her pussy, especially Jasper "On and off feelings" Whitlock. And that fucker Jacob better not show himself or he'll truly regret it._

"Good," she said then went back to her notebook, "I think I'll be bare on Thursday. I wanted to try new things and I haven't done that before. So Brazilian wax it is." She wrote something and smiled to herself a little.

A bare Marie on Thursday. Gollum was salivating. Well, leaking pre-cum anyway. _I am so not Gollum, Edward! He's old, wrinkly and ugly as fuck. I'm perfect._

He mentally scoffed at his egotistical dick, even if the cocky cock was right.

"Blowjobs."

_Yes please_. "What about them?" His dick was totally monopolizing this conversation.

_Like you don't want one, Edward. _

He could actually picture Anthony rolling his eyes at him, if he had one.

"Do you want me to, erm, do it? To you? On Thursday?"

_Yes! Say yes Edward. Pleaseee! I promise I'll rein in the cockiness just make her blow me!_ "Do you want to?"

Bella sighed. "I don't know how to do it, Edward. Jess said that blowjobs were essential to set the mood and that all men prefer to have them before intercourse. I've seen how it was done thanks to our porn marathon today, but watching it and doing it are totally different. I don't want to injure Anthony by my lack of knowledge and experience."

Porn marathon. That's what she did at Jessica's. That's why she blushed so much when they were talking on the phone that afternoon.

_I don't care if she bites me - just let me in her mouth!_ Edward closed his eyes in frustration. Anthony was never this assertive before. His fucking dick won't shut up and as much as he preferred hearing Anthony than the Crazy Trinity- Heidi, Jasper and Bella - in his head, good God he needed silence.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I...can I practice on Anthony?"

_Yee-haw!_

"Are you sure you wanted to?"

"Yes. I wanted to learn and I want you to teach me."

Edward swallowed audibly. "Now?"

"Now."

He looked at her closely, searching for any signs of uncertainty, but Bella merely looked back at him wearing an expression of sureness and determination. So he nodded, took the throw pillow and jacket from his lap and tossed them aside. Then, with a resigned sigh, he released the top button of his jeans, unzipped and together with his boxers pulled everything down to his knees releasing Anthony.

Bella whistled. "He looks bigger, compared to this morning."

"Anthony's really excited," he lamely explained as the woman beside him continues to stare in fascination at his twitching dick.

"Can I ask you something?"

He willed himself to focus and calm down. _I'm way too aroused and she's not even touching me. Fuck! Anthony if you cum now, I swear to God I'll call you Gollum forever. Premature ejaculation is never a fucking option!_ "Ask away."

"How big is Anthony?"

Calm the fuck down Edward! "Eight in a half..." he paused, swallowing hard, "when aroused. Nine when..." he took a deep, unsteady breath, "really, really aroused."

Bella bit her lip. "Wow. He's _huge_ today. You must really, really be aroused then." She straightened a little, then without any warning reached out to tentatively touch Anthony. "Hi, big boy," she whispered as she stroked it once, her hand too small to envelop Anthony entirely.

Edward groaned when she repeated the stroking. "Both hands Bella." He squeezed his eyes shut. "You can use both hands."

She scooted closer until her left leg touched Edward's right, then put her other hand on Anthony as well. "Like this?"

Puffing a breath, Edward nodded.

Bella continued rubbing, continuing the up and down strokes while looking curiously at the glistening wetness on the tip of Anthony's mushroom head. She contemplated for a second then shrugged, leaning closer to lick it a little. _Hmm...A bit salty but not too much._ She licked again, this time sweeping her tongue around the head. _Salty, yet sweet. Interesting_. She wasn't grossed out so she put the entire head inside her mouth and sucked.

Edward grunted. "Fuck, Bella. Fuck!" Anthony was leaking a river of pre-cum.

Startled, Bella pulled her mouth off of him and look up in concern. "Are you alright?"

He opened his eyes and bit his lips. "I'm fine. Just extremely worked up."

"I'm doing okay then?"

"More than okay," he assured, gulping down a much needed breath. "I told you, it's all about instinct, and you have very good ones. You're a natural. Just do what you think is right."

Bella beamed, then went back to licking and sucking Anthony's pre-cum covered tip. Edward took a deep breath as he watched her go at it. He hardened even more when Bella started licking not just the tip, but the veiny sides as well. Her tongue and the inside of her mouth felt wonderful, as well as the hands that continued stroking him. Bella's enthusiasm and spot-on intuition were a deadly combination. _Any man would be lucky to experience this._

No way.

No dick will ever enter Bella's mouth and Marie except Anthony.

_Damn straight, boss!_

Edward blinked when his thoughts caught up with him. He could have reacted to those thoughts if not for the delicious sensation of Bella's throat engulfing Anthony completely. He watched in disbelief as Bella indeed deep throated him without gagging.

Bella pulled off with a popping sound, then looked at him in wonder. "I had Anthony in my mouth! All of him!"

He couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm. "Yes, you did." He almost patted her head as well. _Almost_. She wasn't a child.

"I have to do it again!" she exclaimed, then moved to kneel in between his legs, parting them. "I didn't gag, but breathing was hard."

"Breathe through your nose," he suggested and took a deep breath himself in anticipation. He watched as Bella took him in, slowly but surely. God the image of her doing that...fuck. He swallowed hard. When she reached the hilt, she looked up at him and winked. He closed his eyes, focusing on the sensation. The warmth...and the wetness.

He opened his eyes. Bella started to bob her head, up and down and up again. She was watching him for reaction and he nodded his approval. In reality, her head movements were totally out of sync with her tongue and hands, a show of inexperience. Sensing something was amiss, one of her hands let go of his dick and reached out for one of his own, then put it on her head.

"Teach me how to do this, Edward. Guide me," she asked before putting Anthony inside her mouth again.

_I am really doing this. Fuck_. "First, more licking," he started, voice slightly shaky when she did, "From tip to all sides and tip again. Fill your mouth with saliva Bella. The wetter the better." He moaned. "More tongue. Swirl it around the head and suck. Yesss," he hissed.

In a ragged voice he continued. "Take Anthony deeper. Yessss...like that. God, you're amazing. More spit Bella, flood him with it. Fuck! Yesssss." Edward took a handful of Bella's hair with his right hand and began to move her head. "B-breathe through...fuuck...your nose." He couldn't stop his hips from moving.

His other hand took one of Bella's and guided it to his balls. "Massage them. Gently. As you suck...fuck." He leaned back to the couch and sucked in a breath as Bella followed every direction he gave her to a T. He could no longer talk, overcome by various sensations surrounding his dick. Anthony was in heaven, too blissed out to be his normal obnoxious self for a change.

Warmth...wetness...the suction...fingers on his balls...the strokes...over and over again.

Edward grunted and closed his eyes. "Bella...Bella...I'm close. Pull him out..."

She did, but to his surprise, she came charging back in, redoubling her efforts - intent to make him cum.

"Bel...la...please...pull..out," he gasped as he moved his hips in time with her mouth's up and down motion.

She didn't. Opening his eyes, he tried to focus on Bella. "I'm about to cum..." he warned, gasping.

Bella looked around, searching for a tissue or anything she can use to cover Anthony to avoid making a mess, with him still locked deep in her throat. She spotted Edward's jacket, rejected that idea – imagine explaining that to the dry cleaning guy, or worse his wife! - then groaned in frustration.

The groaning did it for Edward.

"Bellaaa...I'm cumming!"

Resigned, Bella nodded her head in encouragement, raised both hands and gave him two thumbs up then sucked and licked him vigorously.

_Oh God_. _She's swallowing my jizz_.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Edward totally lost it. He could hear himself make sounds that were foreign even to him. He could be loud, but not _this_ loud. And the combination of grunting/groaning/moaning noises was not the only new thing he encountered. Stars literally exploded in his peripheral vision and breathing was difficult. His heart felt like it'd burst and the ringing in his ears wouldn't die down. These reactions had never happened to him before. Heidi had been very experienced, but it was never like this with her. Ever.

He was blown away. Pun intended.

He grinned like a dork.

Bella released a now soft Anthony and smiled to herself. Judging by Edward's noises and his goofy smile, she'd done well. _Blowjob 101: B+._ Not bad for an amateur fellatio-er. She stood up, stretched and sat down beside a recovering Edward. "Dude, you okay?"

He nodded. "That was amazing, Bella."

"Really?" _I am so fishing for compliment but what the heck. I deserve it. I friggin' swallowed!_ Super proud of her accomplishment, she circled the word swallow in her notebook then drew a happy face beside it.

"The best."

She beamed and reached out to grab a drink of water. Afterward, she smiled at Edward. "Hey stud, want to pull up your boxers and jeans now? I think Anthony's asleep."

Edward pushed himself up and pulled both boxers and jeans until it covered what needed to be covered, then zipped them up. He didn't bother with the button, too languid for extra movement.

_For the record, I'm not asleep, I'm content. For now. I'll be back for you, Marie._

He couldn't help it, he burst out laughing. Now Anthony was into communicating with Bella's pussy. Creepiest dick around and it's his. Go figure.

"What?"

Edward chuckled. "I'm just happy that you did that. To me. I'm honored Bella."

"Pfft. I should be the one thanking you. Letting me practice on you, that's a big deal Edward. It's hard to be a guinea pig to a virgin."

_Yep it's big, and definitely hard._

Ignoring his dick's pervy mind, Edward gazed curiously at Bella as she wrote something (most likely about giving blowjobs) on her notebook. Again it was long and detailed, judging from the brisk way she was writing. "Bella?"

"Yes?"

"How come you never had any physical reactions to sexual situations?" That really boggled his mind. The first time they Frenched, she felt sleepy. When he showed her Anthony this morning, she remained unaffected. And now with the BJ...nothing.

Bella stopped writing. "What do you mean?"

"Well, usually when we do sensual stuff, like kissing and making out, our bodies respond as well. To us men, a normal reaction would be we became hard. To women, they became wet and their nipples tighten." _I sound like a fucking Sex Education teacher._

The brunette considered the question for a long time, looking at nowhere in particular, but obviously thinking hard about his observation. Edward left her to her thoughts and turned off the porn completely, then attacked the tiramisu. After five sticks of licorice, he felt Bella's eyes on him.

"I'm too busy learning and analyzing everything to feel," she concluded then sighed. "I wouldn't have really thought about it if you hadn't brought it up. It's like, I'm in a middle of an experiment and all I'm doing is gathering and collecting information to study later."

"No amount of note-taking could be enough Bella, you have to experience it. Sex relies on the senses; feeling every bit of stimulation done to you by your partner." Edward gave her notebook a pointed look. "On Thursday, _that_ must stay outside the room. No taking notes, no over thinking and definitely no over analyzing of every single thing we do. It's just you and me, Bella."

She nodded then glanced at the last two questions. "What time are we gonna do it?"

"I don't know. I honestly want some spontaneity. We both know it'll happen on Thursday night, but can we at least leave _something_ unplanned?" he asked, sounding a bit exasperated.

Bella bit her lip. "Well, the time I would leave that up to you, but the location..." she paused then blushed. "I wanted it to happen in your room Edward."

Edward's heart went back to its abnormal thumping. He stared at Bella a minute too long without saying anything, making the brunette hesitate.

"Erm, if you're not comfortable with-"

"No!" he interrupted, blinking. "It's okay. I'm glad you chose my room. I wanted it there as well."

He honestly did. Granted that prior to this conversation he never even thought about where they'd do it, but now that Bella had brought it up...it was perfect.

Perfect and right.

Bella would lose her virginity in his room. The one area of his that he never let any woman enter, except Bella. Well, Heidi invited herself in, but that didn't count. At all. He reminded himself to change the sheets immediately. There's only one woman who deserved to be in his room.

Bella Swan.

Why?

A slideshow of images came flooding in: meeting Bella for the first time, sharing the house with her, their adventures, the infamous conversation when she'd found out Eric cheated, their conversation a week after in his room at four thirty in the morning when he finally agreed to be her hymen breaker, that night in La Bella Italia and the first time they kissed, their first almost- fight, Bella showing off her babydoll this morning, Bella on her knees giving him the most intense blowjob he'd ever known...

In a moment of absolute clarity, he knew.

_I am fucking in love with her._

Heidi and Jasper had been right all along - even Emmett and the other guys at the bar. He made choices, putting Bella front and center of his consideration. She was the exception to his every rule. She was the only equation. She was the one he was willing to stay and keep around. She mattered the most.

Edward glanced at the still oblivious woman beside him and forced himself to stay seated, even if God knows he wanted to reach out and kiss her. He wanted to tell her everything. He wanted to admit that she was right, that he was a one-woman-man and had been for three years.

_By the end of Thursday night, Bella will not only be a full-fledged woman, she'll also be my woman._

_Mine. _


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: SM owns everything Twilight.

Thanks Izzzyy.

* * *

Chapter 10

_D-Day: Part One_

Carpe diem!

Bella yawned then stretched as she grinned up at the ceiling, still lying comfortably in her bed. _Today is the day, Bella. Later tonight you'll be free. You'll no longer live with the constant guilt of having a hymen while dealing with a man's sexual advances._ _Yes, you're on your way to being a true blue adult!_

She'd be twenty-five tomorrow. An _experienced_ twenty-five-year-old. Her grin widened. _I'm not a girl, definitely a woman_; she mentally sang changing the lyrics of the pop song she'd heard Jessica listening to numerous times.

With an excited yelp, she sat up and reached for her notebook flipping it open before she went through her list of to-do's for the day.

1. Shave armpits and legs.

2. Exercise jaw.

3. Have heart-to-heart talk with Marie.

4. Have last-minute talk with Edward.

5. Pick up "goodbye hymen" outfit.

She raised her arms and checked her armpits then nodded her agreement. Yep, they totally needed shaving. _Just shaving - no waxing, please_. She shuddered, recalling what she'd gone through three days ago. Brazilian waxing was just a fancy name for _slow and painful death_. She was teary-eyed the entire time the small strips of cloth were repeatedly pulled from her wax-covered pubic area. She'd never longed for anaesthesia as much as she did then. She hated needles, but she would have welcomed one if it meant not feeling the excruciating pain.

Jess came with her to offer support. Her researcher/friend assured her that once she'd gotten used to it, it wouldn't be that painful anymore. _Yeah, right. As if I would do _that_ again. I'd rather have Marie resemble Chewbacca than expose myself to that level of pain again. I could change her name to _Chewie_._

Bella cringed a little. _Or I could just shave and trim. I've got choices, thank God._

She went back to her list and started exercising her jaw. She's been doing it for days now, ever since she gave Edward her B+ worthy blowjob. As preparation for tonight's foreplay, she knew she had to prepare for the blowjob, since Anthony was really big and her poor jaw could only take so much. She'd been sore after that last bj, so she Googled and Wikipedia-ed in a quest to avoid a potential locked jaw incident. _Jess said it hurt like a quiddich the first time it happened to her_. God bless the net - Bella learned variations upon variations of relaxing and loosening one's jaw to avoid the same fate. _Tonight I'll learn how effective these exercises truly are._

After two repetitions of her jaw exercises, Bella glanced at her third to-do item and went back to lying down. Fluffing her pillow once, she expelled a breath then patted Marie. "Hey you. I know we haven't done this before. You've always been the dormant part of me and honestly, outside of hygienic purposes, I never really paid that much attention to you. But tonight, expect a 360 degree shift, okay? It won't be pretty, Marie. You'll bleed and be invaded by something totally foreign to you. And I'll level with you - Expect at least three foreign somethings to enter you: the fingers, a tongue and the toughest yet, a penis. It's a man's genitalia, Marie, and it will hurt a lot. Expect twice the pain that you endured during waxing. Even thrice. Know what? Just expect the worst possible pain, but please don't hate me for letting it happen. You have to trust me on this. You'll be in good hands. Or if I have to be literal about it, around good penis, if that made sense since, technically he'll be inside you not the other way around."

Bella sniffed a little. This little ___tête_-___à-tête_ with Marie was getting to her. She didn't expect to be this emotional, but she couldn't help it. Then again, better to cry now than do it in the middle of sex with Edward. That would be beyond humiliating. She'd rather use her safe-word and bolt out of the room than risk letting Edward see her cry during sex.

She wiped the tears away with the back of her right hand and resumed talking. "Well, I trust Edward and I'm one hundred percent sure that he'll take good care of us. I chose well, Marie. I would never let a so- and-so penis enter and penetrate you. You'll like Anthony. He's a stud. He's huge and almost always proudly erect. Just between you and me, I think he's really pretty. He looked so clean, unlike some of the penises I've seen in porn movies. He smelled and tasted nice too; zero ick and bleh factor. Trust me, I had him in my mouth and throat, and both approved. You just have to relax and let him do what needs to be done."

She took a deep breath. "I honestly don't know what to expect tonight, Marie. I've viewed a lot of porn these past few days, and I hope to God I will not laugh if Edward makes moves like what I saw there. In fairness to my best buddy, though, nobody complained about his sexual skills. Even Heidi bragged about him in a men's magazine, and I believe Gorgeous. Besides, Anthony would not be that studly if he was attached to an average man. Edward's a hunk. Just between you and me, Marie, my best bud is so good looking I blanked out the first time we met. Then I snapped out of it, because in reality he was so much more than his looks. He was really, really nice and easy to talk to. I'd never had that kind of camaraderie with a man before. It was like we were destined to be great friends."

Bella grinned, remembering that fateful day. "Look at us now; he's really my soul mate, come to think of it. He's the only person in this world - who's not related to me, that is, - who liked me, _in spite_ of knowing me. We've managed to live together for three years in harmony. Not just that, we're business partners and he's the only person I feel safe enough around to say whatever comes to my nutty mind. So, you see, we'll be fine tonight. _You'll_ be fine. Edward will make sure of it. I'm absolutely certain Anthony will treat you well too. So just try to relax and enjoy tonight, okay? We're in it together. Promise." With a last assuring pat to Marie, Bella closed her notebook and stretched once again. She could hear Edward banging pots and pans outside, a little too loudly, if you asked her. She stood up, quickly fixed her bed and rushed out of her room. The sight of Edward, putting a frying pan on top of the stove with such force it made her wince, greeted her when she entered the kitchen.

"Stupid, crazy fucker!" Bella heard him mutter, completely oblivious to her presence. "I said, stop it, perv! Quit it! Now!"

She cleared her throat. "Good...morning?" It came out as a question. She couldn't help it. He looked royally pissed.

Edward looked up from his tirade and his ears reddened seeing Bella standing in front of the breakfast bar. "Morning." _Fuck you, Anthony - shut up!_

"You okay?"

He nodded but didn't say anything. Bella continued looking confused. Then, out of nowhere, the damn song played in his mind again.

_I've been really tryin', baby  
Tryin' to hold back this feelin' for so long  
And if you feel like I feel, baby  
Then come on, oh, come on  
Whoo, let's get it on._

Edward closed his eyes, counted from one to ten in an attempt to rein in his temper, and clenched his jaw in annoyance.

"Edward?"

_Ah, babe, let's get it on  
Let's love, baby  
Let's get it on, sugar  
Let's get it on  
Whoo-ooh-ooh_

Edward opened his eyes and avoided meeting Bella's. _Anthony, stop it you good-for-nothing- mind always-in-the-gutter fucker!_ His dick had joined the dark side and turned completely insane. For days, ever since the blow job, that particular song had been playing in his mind nonstop. Anthony stopped talking to him. Good, right? No. Why? Well, because replacing his dick's annoying voice was Marvin Gaye's rousing rendition of "Let's Get It On." He was sure it was all Anthony, since the fucker twitched every single time the naughty-sounding beginning of the song played.

Edward grimaced. If he went to see a shrink, he'd have made said shrink rich. From his family issues to Bella and the "I'm-so-in love-with-you-but-I-don't-know-what-to-do" dilemma to having an assertive dick who thinks he's another person and has his own personal background music...it would take years to just identify the root of his problems.

"PMS-ing?" Bella joked, trying to lighten the mood.

_I'd rather have PMS than this_. "Just irritated."

"Not at me, right?"

_I love you. How could I be irritated with you?_ "Of course not."

Bella nodded, licking then biting her lower lip, causing Anthony to twitch.

_Hi Bella, how you doin'?_

The.

Hell?

_You've been mute for days and now you're suddenly talking again? To pull a Joey on Bella? Un-fuckin-believable!_ Edward scowled at his dick.

_Well boss, my greeting is way better than your lame "_Morning_." What's up with that? Of course it's morning! You could at least say, "Fine morning we have today, Bella. You look nice by the way. I love the bed head. How's Marie? Anthony is really excited to make her acquaintance tonight. He even asked me to shave him bare so that they'll have something in common."_

Edward growled.

Bella's brows raised an inch higher. _What's going on with Edward? He just...growled. Growled and scowled at his crotch._ "Now you're starting to creep me out." She walked over to where he was standing, tiptoed to kiss his right cheek then pushed him to sit on one of the stool chairs. "I'll fix us breakfast. You snap out of that bad mood pronto, and you have to do what I say because it's my birthday week."

In response, Edward banged his forehead on the table and remained face down, unmoving.

Shaking her head, Bella proceeded to make breakfast. She knew just what to make to cheer Edward up: bacon, eggs and French toast. She glanced at him from time to time while cooking, checking to see if he moved or what but he didn't change positions at all. If not for the occasional banging, she'd think he was asleep.

When everything was ready and plated, she nudged Edward's shoulder with her hip - both hands occupied with holding plates - and called his name. He looked up then straightened, taking both plates and putting them down. "Thanks."

Bella was about to sit down when Edward stopped her by putting a hand on her right arm and saying "_Wait_." So she remained standing. She watched him stand up, face her and then envelop her on a tight hug.

"I'm sorry for my lame greeting this morning." He dropped a kiss on top of her head. "I'm sorry for my bad mood." A peck landed on her forehead. "I'm sorry for letting you cook breakfast when I'm supposed to be the one doing that for the whole week." A brief kiss on the tip of her nose. "I'm especially sorry for being this lousy on the eve of your birthday." Eskimo kiss.

Bella grinned up at him then pushed him away. "Sit."

He obediently did, looking a bit sheepish. He was thankful, because his heart was thumping like mad and the brief touches of Bella's body on his own made Anthony twitch and harden. Good thing his dick seemed to be behaving for now and was eerily quiet.

_I'm not the bad cop here, Edward. _

Or so he thought.

_Fine. I'll be in mute mode just to prove I'm a really nice person, worthy of my Marie._

His dick really thought he was a person. _News flash, Anthony - you're not. You're just an appendage. Got it?_

Silence.

Edward mentally scoffed at Anthony's show of...what? Maturity? _Right._

"Your greeting was not lame," Bella said distracting his thoughts. Then she leaned and kissed the top of his head. "We're human. We're allowed to have bad moods from time to time," she continued, then kissed his forehead. Edward's breathing hitched. "I love cooking so it's okay that I did breakfast today." Kiss on top of his nose.

_Why didn't you kiss her on the lips again, boss?_

It didn't take his dick two minutes to give up mute mode. But this time, they shared the same sentiment, so he'd let it pass.

"And lastly, it's just the beginning of the day. Plenty of time to make up for the lousy – as you called it – start of my birthday eve." Eskimo kiss.

_I should've kissed her on the lips, even if it's just a fucking peck or a mere brush._ Edward thought in disappointment.

His opinionated dick agreed. _Yes, you should've. I'm bothered by the lack of your usual highly effective moves, Edward. Women fell all over themselves at the first sign of the crooked grin, and that eye fuck thing you used most of the time - where are they now? I have a rep to uphold! Come on! Step up!_

Edward scowled at the taunt. His dick had a _rep_ to uphold? The fucker thought he had rep?

_Anthony, if you want to have a one-on-one with Marie tonight, you better stop annoying me, or so help me God I'll wear a strap-on instead. It'll be the one to have an up close and personal connection with darling Marie, not you._

His dick shrank in fear.

_Good. Now shut up and be on mute mode the entire day_. _I don't want your opinions and I especially don't want to hear Marvin Gaye._

Twitch.

The scowl disappeared from Edward's face. _Strap-on_. His dick's kryptonite was a fucking strap-on. He grinned to himself.

"At last, a smile! I can finally enjoy my breakfast," Bella exclaimed before taking a bite off her bacon.

He glanced at Bella and marvelled at how perfect she looked so early in the morning. He wanted to kiss her so badly. He reminded himself that he'd have the chance to do it tonight. He had to be patient.

"So, I was thinking of cooking dinner tonight before we, uh, do the deed." _Making love_ would have more apt but he didn't want to alarm Bella. Not when he didn't exactly know how to tell her about his realizations and feelings.

Bella's face light up. "Is braised pork belly with Japanese rice part of the menu?"

"It is now," he confirmed with a grin.

"Perfect."

Just like her. "Any other special requests? I aim to please." _In more ways than one_, he added to himself.

Bella contemplated for a minute then gave him a worried look. "I don't want to be too full tonight, Edward. I don't want to risk, erm, _farting_ while we're in the middle of...you know. "

Edward stared at her for a full second before bursting into uncontrollable laughter. He couldn't stop even if he wanted to. Of all things to fret about...he laughed some more.

"Hey! That's a legitimate concern," she protested seriously. "Body parts are getting stimulated so you can never really tell what other automatic reactions they'll give."

Edward shook his head and wiped the tears that fell in his cheeks. "Fine, Braised Pork Belly and Japanese rice plus dessert. Got it."

They were quiet for the remainder of breakfast, with Edward chuckling from time to time. Bella let him laugh at her expense. It was better to have him giggling than grumpy-scowly anyway. When they were finished eating, Edward volunteered to do the dishes.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

He was too busy putting plates on the dishwasher to give her a look. _Good, because I'm already blushing like heck._ "I know that when my hymen breaks there'll be blood, but I'm pathetically squeamish. Is there any chance that I won't bleed at all?"

Edward faced her with an indefinable expression on his face. "Most virgins bleed, Bella. There is a high chance that you will too." He sighed. "If I can avoid it, I will. But it's not really up to me, and you've seen Anthony..." his voice trailed off, hating the very idea of causing Bella pain.

Bella nodded, biting her lip. "I know. Can't help but hope, though."

He walked over and sat down beside her, taking both of her hands in his and squeezing gently. "It'll hurt for a couple of minutes, but after that I promise you mind-numbing pleasure, Bella. I'm not bragging, just stating a fact. I promise, I will bring you pleasure. You'll forget about the pain, immediately."

"Okay." She still looked a bit worried.

"Want to feel a sample of that mind-numbing pleasure?" Horniness aside, he felt the need to do this. This is not about him. This is about alleviating Bella's concerns.

Bella's eyes widened. "Sample?"

"Yes."

She looked scared. "Now?"

"Now."

"Here?"

"Here."

"But...but...we _eat_ here, Edward!"

Still holding both her hands, Edward pulled Bella up and walked over to the counter next to the sink. He then released her hands, took hold of her waist and gently hoisted her up until she was sitting on the edge. They were almost eye level. _Perfect height for what I have in mind._

Bella was blinking furiously at him. "Relax," he mumbled before raising his left hand to the back of her head and pulled her closer until their lips were almost an inch apart. "Just feel." And he closed the gap in one fell swoop.

_Just feel._

Bella closed her eyes and instinctively put both her arms on top of Edward's shoulders. Her hands glided until both met on the nape of his neck and ran up to clasp his crazy hair. She breathed him in and accepted the invasion of his tongue. It swirled around the inside of her mouth, leaving nothing untouched, then curled around her own tongue a couple of times before finally sucking hers aggressively.

While his other hand was at the back of Bella's head, Edward's right hand rubbed her back. It slowly moved towards Bella's waist, up to her ribs and up further until it gently cupped her left breast, grazing a nipple with his thumb.

Bella moaned at the sensation. Her nipples pebbled, even the untouched one. But the best reaction came from her vagina.

Marie tingled.

Marie throbbed.

Marie became wet.

Bella opened her eyes in surprise and pulled away from Edward, who opened his own and asked her "What's wrong?"

She proudly beamed at him. "I'm wet!"

Anthony hardened even more hearing that. _At least he's quiet. _"Good. It'll be easier and less painful if Marie is wet when Anthony enters her. Like with BJs, the wetter the better."

_Now turn your books to page 69. Sorry boss can't help it. Shutting up now._

Edward ignored his dick and reminded himself not to speak too soon when dealing with a pervert. "You want to continue?"

Bella smiled at him. "I don't want to pre-empt tonight, Edward. It already felt wonderful with us Frenching like that. And Holy Frankfurter - the nipple graze? That felt amazing."

He reached out and squeezed her chin. _I love you so fucking much, I would do it over and over, 24/7, if you'd let me_. "So that means we stop, huh?"

"We better," Bella answered, blushing a little. "If we don't, I might end up begging you to take me here."

"And that would be bad because...?"

Bella blushed some more. "Shut up."

"One more kiss before we do our respective errands?" _Please say yes. _"You _are_ going somewhere this morning, right?"

"Yep. Need to buy something for tonight. Please don't ask."

Edward chuckled. "I won't ask if you give me a kiss."

Marie tingled again. Bella was in awe of her body's reactions. _This is surreal_. "Can you...ummm...graze, erm, _both_ my nipples? While we kiss?"

_Thank you God_. "You don't have to ask me twice."

This time he started the kiss slow and sweet, with the mere brushing of lips. Both his hands rested on Bella's waist, pulling her closer. "Open your legs a bit, Bella," he murmured, releasing her mouth and licking her top lip once before plunging inside again. _Delicious._

She did.

He eagerly stepped between her parted legs without breaking the kiss. He let both his hands wander until he was able to cup her perky breasts. Even with the bra on, there was no denying how hard her nipples were. _I want to taste them so badly._

He couldn't, not just yet, so he compensated by deepening the kiss. He licked, sucked and tasted every single delicious inch of Bella's mouth. The best thing about this, though, was Bella doing the same thing to him. She licked, sucked and tasted back.

She fucking licked, sucked and tasted _him_ back!

He upped the stakes by timing the thrusts of his tongue inside Bella's mouth with the circular motions of his thumbs on her hardened nipples. She moaned, and he grunted.

Anthony was so hard it was almost painful.

Actually, it _was_ painful.

Edward pulled Bella closer, almost lifting her off the counter, and angled Anthony to touch Marie for the first time.

_Yee-haw!_

Edward pulled his lips off Bella's and sucked in a much needed breath. He continued dry humping her as he kissed her jaw, neck, back of her left and behind her right ear, then returned to her lips.

Bella, on the other hand, was overwhelmed. She couldn't quite focus on one particular feeling. Everything happened simultaneously: the nipple grazing, Edward's relentless tongue frankfurting, even the Anthony-bumping-Marie-in-epic-ways...Edward was a multi-tasking sex god. _No wonder people get addicted to this. This is so intense - like bungee jumping naked or something. _She couldn't stop moaning, and she was doing it so loudly that she could hear herself. _Oh my God, I sounded like I'm dying. _

Then a particular hip move or whatever it was that Edward was doing, hit Marie in a way that brought tingles upon tingles upon tingles (yes, _that_ many tingles!) to Bella, and all she could do was bask in it. She closed her eyes and there were stars and rainbows and it was raining Snickers and Skittles and Peanut Butter M&Ms.

_Hello, mind-numbing pleasure._

She didn't know how long it lasted, but when she opened her eyes feeling exhausted but happy, she saw Edward smiling at her. "Hey."

She took a deep breath. "I'm like...Jell-o."

He tenderly kissed the tip of her nose. "You just had an orgasm, babe."

Bella's eyes widened. "Oh my God! It's not a myth then, like a woman's X-Spot or whatever it was called?"

"G-Spot, Bella. It's called a _G-Spot_." Edward corrected grinning. "And they're both real, not myths. The G-Spot and orgasm, I mean. You actually just experienced the latter. I'll show you where the first one is tonight."

_Oh my God. _"If this is just a preview of what's gonna happen tonight, I think I need to invest in some power drinks. I'm beyond exhausted, and all I did was kiss you back and moan like a crazy, dying person," she exclaimed, resting her head on Edward's shoulder.

Edward rubbed her back, setting his present condition aside to focus more on the intense happiness of knowing he'd brought Bella to her very first orgasm. _Fuck, I'm the man!_ He felt like puffing his chest out and raising his right arm to show his biceps and triceps to everyone.

_Or taking a very, very cold shower, boss..._

"Edward?"

"Yes, Bella."

She chuckled, face still hidden on his upper chest. "Can you please carry me back to my room and lay me down my bed? I think I'll sleep for awhile."

Edward patted her back and mentally promised Anthony he'd go get that very, very cold shower after bringing Bella back to her room.

_Forget about the cold shower and jack off, boss. That's the next best thing to do._

For once, he totally agreed with Anthony.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I'm just a Twi-saga fan.

Thanks to my supah-amazing beta Izzzyy.

* * *

Chapter 11

_D Day: Part 2_

"Harder."

"No. I don't want to hurt you."

"Come on, Edward. Please do it harder and be done with it."

"There's no way I'll do it harder, Bella. Be patient."

"Well, you're barely moving! Come on dude, we don't have all night!"

"I am doing what I think is best!" He gave a frustrated sigh. "Just be still. Don't move."

"Don't move?" she asked incredulously. "I'm so immobile. I can't feel my lower leg anymore!"

He snorted loudly. "You got a foot connected to that leg _stuck_ inside the wastebasket, Bella. Of course it's numb." he retorted, frowning.

_Shit!_

This wasn't the start of the evening he imagined. They were supposed to eat dinner, have their usual conversation to help relax and calm Bella – and him as well, to be honest - then they'd go to his room to _really_ start the night_. But no, it had to start like this. _He scowled at the wastebasket in annoyance.

Bella watched Edward brood in silence. _I swear to God, stuff like this only happens to me. _He had finished cookingdinner and was doing some minor clean up. She volunteered to help and was only supposed to throw away some used foils, but the wastebasket was so full - almost overflowing - that when she put it in, the foils just rolled off the top of the pile and fell to the floor. So she picked them up and put them back on top of the wastebasket, packing it down with her left foot.

The trash stayed in, and so did her foot.

_Some people just don't have any luck. By _some_, I mean me._ "It's not like I did this on purpose, you know. Nobody in their right mind would want their foot stuck inside a wastebasket." She pointed out, shifting her stance to try pulling her foot out of the blasted wastebasket, but again, it wouldn't budge. Her foot was jammed so tightly inside that every time she raised her foot, the wastebasket went with it.

"I didn't say that. Just..." Edward took a deep breath, closing his eyes to control his mounting temper. He was getting frustrated and anxious and so fucking annoyed that a fucking wastebasket was putting a damper to their special evening. He could just picture Bella talking about this fuckery to Alice or worse, _Jessica,_ in the future.

_Alice/Jessica: So how was your first time, Bella?_

_Bella: Meh. The man I trusted to make it all magical and special failed epically. Took him hours to solve a situation and when we finally did the frankfurter deed, he choked. Worst experience ever. *shudder*_

_Alice/Jessica: Awww, you poor thing. Who was he?_

_Bella: I'd rather not talk about him. He was nothing to me after that disaster._

"Edward? I seriously can't feel my leg anymore, and the bottom of my foot feels like millions of needles are repetitively pricking it."

_Fuck it. I'll make this a night to remember even if it kills me. I'm Edward fucking Cullen. I can do anything!_ "Let me try to pull it off again." _Nothing will ruin this night_, _even this fuckery._

He knelt in front of Bella and tried to tug the wastebasket off. The only thing that pulled was Bella, who slid and fell butt-first on the floor. "Whooops."

_Shit!_ He scrambled towards her and helped her up. "Oh God, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"

Bella nodded, rubbing her backside a little as she stood up. "I'm fine. My robust butt cushioned the fall." She gazed down at the persistent object in wonder. "I think it'd be easier if I jammed my other foot into a matching wastebasket, rather than attempting to pull this one out. This thing is stubborn!"

Rolling his eyes, Edward gave her a firm look. "I'll try to tug it again, much harder this time, so hold on tight. If you need more leverage, grip my hair. Just be sure to grip it _tightly_."

"Um...that could hurt."

Edward scowled at the wastebasket as he knelt in front of Bella again. "Then it'll hurt - I don't care. Hold on." He expelled a breath and tugged at the fucking wastebasket using all of his strength. _I'm in love, I'm frustrated and I'm so fucking ending this disaster right now!_

Good news: It did come off.

Bad news: He landed on his rear end a few feet away, knocking his head on the edge of the breakfast bar.

Good news/ Bad news: Bella tumbled backward (she refused to grip on his hair and chose to hang on to his shoulders instead) again falling butt-first on the floor. This time, her fall was harder, leaving her half-sprawled on the floor after the impact, just a foot or so away from the fridge with her legs apart, robe gaping open. Edward saw something that made him forget about the dull ache at the back of his head.

_Boss? That's Marie. Marie! I saw Marie! She's so pretty! My Marie! Come to Anthony!_

Edward's jaw literally dropped. Anthony was fist pumping and twitching like crazy.

Bella wasn't wearing any underwear beneath the robe.

No underwear.

No.

Fucking.

Underwear.

_Easy access, boss. Yee-haw! _

Noticing his almost catatonic state and following the direction of his eyes, Bella gasped in alarm, seeing what Edward was continuously staring at. She quickly closed her legs and fixed her robe. "You, erm, okay?" _Holy frankfurter, I just flashed Edward! _

He just blinked at her.

_Say something, Bella!_ _Make this situation less uncomfortable!_ "Umm, I was supposed to wear a thong but I figured that since I'm gonna be wet in the not-so-distant future and a thong doesn't cover that much anyway, I'll just skip it. I honestly don't like thongs. They're weird. They shouldn't even be considered as underwear because they're not. If you think about it, I'm pretty sure the butt hates them too. They're violators...um, _bullies_ really. They invade the crack of the butt and remain there to be a constant nuisance. Like they're there to give the butt a wedgie. A bully, really." _Oh my God, shut up Bella! Stop talking about thongs like they're a menace to the butt! And wedgies? Seriously, Bella?_

Her traitor brain was laughing hard at her blunder.

Edward swallowed hard. "Umm, t-that s-sounded...wise. P-practical. Wise. And really practical." _Fuck my life, I'm stuttering and repeating myself like an idiot._

They stared at each other across the room, unmoving and unsure what to say next. The expression on both their faces clearly screamed "Let's just curl up and die simultaneously."

Bella covered her face with both hands and groaned. "I'm so embarrassed for flashing you."

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about. You looked wonderful. Marie looked wonderful," he assured her, gaining a bit of control over his idiocy.

_My Marie looked perfect._

Edward ignored his delinquent peen.

_I'm bad-ass, boss, not delinquent._

Edward scoffed at such ego.

Bella parted two of her fingers and peeked at him, like she was watching a horror movie and was curious to see the scene but still too horrified to completely take her hands off her face. "Really?"

He nodded.

She went back to fully covering her face and muttered some things that Edward didn't hear. He narrowed his eyes, weighed a decision, then crawled towards Bella. Fuck the plans. Spontaneity could be good too.

He sat beside her and nudged her shoulder with his own. Completely taken by surprise, Bella removed the hands that covered her face, looked at where he used to sit then glanced at him. "You moved so fast."

"I'm beyond aroused, Bella."

Bella gaped at him in shock. _Eeek. Umm, TMI?_

_This is it. Enough with the incidents and fuckery already. I'm taking control_. "I saw Marie and I got so horny I couldn't think straight anymore."

_That's the Edward I was talking about this morning, boss. High five, my man!_

"You are?" she squeaked.

He nodded then reached out to grasp Bella's right hand and brought it to rest on Anthony. "Feel this? You caused that. Marie made Anthony this hard. So for the record, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. If anything, you should feel proud. Nobody has ever had this much power over Anthony before."

_Trufax, Bella. Trufax. Marie owns me._

Bella squeezed Anthony a little and Edward groaned, closing his eyes to savor the sensation. Acting on pure instinct, and encouraged by Edward's assurances, the brunette leaned closer and dropped a tentative kiss on his lips. When he kissed her back, his eyes still closed, Bella opened her mouth and licked his lower lip. Edward growled and pulled her to him, making her sit astride him.

_Oh fuck._ Knowing Bella's lack of underwear made his dick twitch and throb, but _feeling_ the lack of cover made Anthony crazy.

_Free me! Free me! I want to feel Marie skin to skin!_

He held the back of Bella's head with one hand as they continued to kiss. His woman could really kiss now. Frenching, in particular, had become an art form. She even cupped the sides of his face with both hands and concentrated on kissing him fully. As if right now, for her, the center of her universe was his lips. He couldn't help but respond enthusiastically. Their tongues played a little game of tug and war for a while but he let Bella pull his inside her mouth and she sucked and licked it like there was no tomorrow.

_So fucking delicious._

Using his free hand, he guided her hips to move back and forth slowly. Bella gasped and pulled away from him a little, still cupping his face. She closed her eyes and focused on the feeling of rubbing herself on Anthony. Marie was tingling again. When Edward grinded back, she hissed and rested her forehead on Edward's. "Do that again. Please."

He did. His thrusts were slow and in time with her hips' back and forth motion, still guided by him. She scooted closer and went back to kissing him, this time harder and more insistent. She couldn't quite explain it, but the need to kiss Edward that way was too strong to ignore. Crude as it sounded, she was practically eating Edward's mouth. And he let her. Between his grunts and her moans, there was no denying that they were in their own sexually-charged bubble.

"We're both wearing too many clothes, baby."

Bella moaned when she felt Edward lick her earlobe after whispering into her ear. She felt his hands move toward the knot on her robe and then forgot about it when he started nibbling her other earlobe. She was breathing hard and enjoying the nibbles and licks and grinding when she heard Edward's "Fuck!"

She opened her eyes. "W-what?"

He continued to eye her up and down. "What are you wearing?"

She blushed. "Lingerie. I bought it this morning."

"Baby, you look...fuck." Edward took a deep, calming breath. "You look so beautiful." His eyes went back to her face and remained locked on her own.

Edward had beautiful green eyes. Of course she knew that. What she didn't know, and found out in that instant, was his capability of staring at someone with such intensity. He was staring at her with a deep, penetrating look in his eyes that literally gave her goose bumps and made Marie even _more_ wet and tingly.

The grinding stopped and Bella bit her lip. _Okay, why do I suddenly feel like this? I've got the tingles just because Edward was giving me a certain look? I've actually gotten more wet, with no stimulation whatsoever except for his smoldering eyes? Smoldering eyes. Whoa. How could this be possible?_

She glanced back at Edward and caught him still staring at her intently. There really was something lurking behind that look and for the life of her, she couldn't figure out what it was.

What he did next confused her even more.

Edward secured her legs around his waist and, supporting her weight with his hands just inches away from her butt, he stood up. She automatically put both her hands on the nape of his neck and entwined her fingers. He walked the short distance to the breakfast bar, leaned and gave her a quick kiss on the lips before depositing her on one of the stools. "Eat. I have to do something in my room but I'll be back as soon as I'm done."

After another peck on her lips, he trotted towards his room and left her alone in the kitchen.

Bella exhaled loudly then patted Marie. "Wow, right? Simply...amazingly...wow!" Sighing, she reached for one of the bowls that Edward prepared and began eating. _Yum!_ _Why so perfect, Edward? _She shook her head at her silly question then chuckled. _Be careful, Isabella Marie - we don't want you entertaining romantic ideas about your best bud, now do we? It was never like that with him, remember? _She sighed and nodded. Of course. It would be too ___cliché_ if after tonight she suddenly started mooning over Edward. The virgin fell for her deflowerer. Like Stockholm Syndrome _with a twist_.

She was halfway done eating when she heard soft music playing in Edward's room. She smiled to herself. _Well, well, well. Looks like my buddy went to prep his room for later. _She looked down at Marie and winked. "See, he even went to great lengths just to make tonight really special. I told you I chose well." She hummed as she ate what remained on her plate.

Bella was rinsing her bowl in the sink when she felt two muscular arms encircle her waist and a nose nuzzle the side of her neck. She froze. Marie, who was fully recovered from what happened almost half an hour ago, started to tingle again. She almost dropped the bowl when she felt the arms around her tighten and felt Anthony nudge her butt.

A really _hard_ Anthony had just nudged her butt.

"How was the food?"

She shivered. The question was whispered in her right ear, all breathy and seductive. She didn't know what happened inside Edward's room, but this...this person who was all huggy and nudgy and nuzzly and whispery? This is _not_ her buddy, Edward.

This unknown Edward was making Marie wet like nobody's business.

"Delicious," she answered after swallowing loudly. "Thank you."

He held a fistful of her hair away from her nape and softly kissed it, making Bella shudder. "Just like you, love. Just like you."

_Love_? He called her _baby_ awhile ago, now its _love_? What's up with the endearments?

"Edward?"

"Yes, love?" He breathed on her ear the question then continued showering kisses over her nape, bare shoulders and upper back. Then she remembered and mentally face palmed. She was wearing her newly purchased lingerie! She never got the chance to put her robe back after Edward slid it off her. No wonder he was acting all crazy horny - he was getting an eyeful! The blue embroidered eyelet babydoll left nothing to the imagination and without its matching thong...Bella rolled her eyes. She might as well be naked.

"Could this be considered foreplay? I mean, with you becoming this huggy, nudgy, nuzzly and whispery to me all of a sudden? Is this part of that stage?"

The hugging, nudging and nuzzling abruptly stopped. "What?"

She turned off the water, put the bowl on the sink then turned to face Edward, pushing him backwards in the process. He let her move but kept his arms around her. "I just want to know if you're starting with the foreplay."

Edward narrowed his eyes at her. "You're over thinking and over analyzing again, Isabella Marie."

"I'm not!" She denied hotly then relented and sighed. "Yes, I am. I'm just trying to understand why you're suddenly this...this!" She pointed at his arms around her.

"This?" He asked a bit amused, pulling her closer to him by tightening his arms around her then rubbed himself on her a little.

Bella blushed some more.

"Bella, I'm a hot-blooded male who has a woman, in his kitchen, wearing this amazing piece of clothing and looking all kinds of sexy. The same woman he'll be spending the night with. So of course I'm all huggy, nudgy, nuzzly and whispery as you called it. It's a normal reaction."

They stared at each other for a full minute before Bella rolled her eyes and scoffed at Edward. "You are _so_ starting the foreplay."

"Fine. I am raring to go. Happy now?"

She smiled up at him. "Let's do this, Edward."

Anthony went old-school and started doing the running man.

Bella yelped when Edward picked her up and carried her bridal style towards his room. He gave her a crooked grin and then a quick peck on the lips. "We're doing this right, baby."

Again, there's the endearment. The butterflies in her stomach fluttered. _I'm getting butterflies. What's next, weak knees?_

Try butterflies, weak knees and an erratic heartbeat, all at the same time.

She gaped at what greeted her when Edward opened the door. His usually manly room was transformed to something entirely...honeymoon suite-ish? There were rose petals everywhere, a mix of white and red, even some on the bed. Candles - vanilla scented, her absolute favorite – placed inside these cute little clear glasses - were scattered around the room. Some were on the floor; others were on his nightstand, on top of his dresser, and even a couple on his treadmill. She could hear Sting crooning softly on the background about fields of gold. Edward had even covered his lamp with a light red cloth that blended well with the candles. Bella bit her lower lip as she surveyed the room one more time before she muttered "Please put me down."

"Did you like it?"

She tried answering his question but the lump in her throat made it impossible. He sounded so unsure and she wanted to assure him that she loved it. That he was being thoughtful and romantic. But again, she couldn't speak.

Bella walked towards the bed and noticed that Edward even changed his cotton sheets to silk.

Silk sheets.

Expensive silk sheets she'd just bleed on.

"Manuscript."

"Bella? Did you say something?"

She took a deep breath, begging her tear ducts not to fail her now and turned to face Edward. "Manuscript. I said, _manuscript_," she answered then ran out of the room.

Fuck.

Fuck!

Edward looked around and reined in his need to scream in frustration. He wanted to trash his own room and fucking punch someone.

_Calm down, boss. It looked like Bella was a wee bit overwhelmed._

He scoffed at his know-it-all dick. "I knew it! This was too much for her! The fucking petals. Fucking candles. Fucking music! Why did I even do this? It's lame! I never do this. Never."

_You love her. You're expected to turn a bit mushy. No worries, boss. I'm still perfect so nobody will think you've grown a vagina or whatever._

He sat down on the bed and start venting his frustrations on his hair, finger combing then pulling then finger combing it again. He was sure something was definitely wrong when Anthony made more sense than him, if you could get past the ego-stroking comments.

_The silk sheets were an awesome idea, boss. Showing the bling without sparkling. Nice touch._

Edward glared at the sheets he'd purposely bought for tonight. He wasn't usually particular about bed sheets – sex was never about sheets anyway – but he vividly remembered Emmett bragging about how great the sex was when done on silk sheets. His friend talked nonstop about the feel of silk on his naked skin while making mad, passionate love to his wife. Of course they all laughed at him but he was sure after that particular poker night, he wasn't the only one who bought silk bed sheets for future _experiments_.

He never did try it with his exes. He'd never felt the need to exert any effort, except tonight with Bella. Then she used her safeword and stormed out of his room. _Fuck my life. I did all this, for a woman I'm one hundred percent in love with, and I scared her away._

He briefly wondered how much time had passed and if he'd given Bella enough time alone to go see her. He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. He wanted tonight to be very special, but with the rate things were going, it looked like it would end in disaster.

_Come on, boss. The night still young and so are we. Don't give up just yet._

Edward glanced at his dick in half-fascination, half-irritation. What happened to Anthony? Since when did he start having a sound perspective?

_Told you I'm perfect._

He shook his head and was about to stand up to check on Bella when the brunette herself walked back inside his room. Her eyes and nose were red and she looked completely miserable. He felt his heart clench. _Fuck this loving someone business. It's complicated, I'm almost always confused and a clenching heart? The fuck? _"Hey." That sounded pretty lame.

Anthony twitched in agreement but remained silent.

Bella made a face then sat beside him on the bed. "I'm sorry. I told myself I would not cry in front of you so I had to run out."

He put an arm around her waist and pulled her closer. "Why cry in the first place? Was the room too much? I could, you know, remove the petals and the candles. Even turn off the music."

"Don't." Bella answered, putting her head on his shoulder then sighed. "I honestly loved everything."

Edward's heart skipped a beat. Anthony yee-hawed. "Really? You're not just saying that to appease me?"

"Really. I loved everything so much, I couldn't stop the tears from coming. Happy tears, Edward. Happy tears." She sniffed. "See, I'm so overwhelmed my eyes are leaking again. Stupid, emotional person."

He wiped the tears with his fingers tenderly. "I kinda love you being this stupid, emotional person so stop being hard on yourself." _I think I'm gonna have a heart attack. So many fucking emotions. _

"I kinda love you too, buddy."

_Yow-za. Don't worry, boss. This buddy thing you got going on with Bella will disappear once I've given her some serious Tonylovin._

Edward mentally face palmed.

Bella, on the other hand, sighed and stood up in front of him. Then to his utmost surprise and Anthony's glee, he watched as Bella put her hands on the babydoll's hem and started pulling it up. His breathing hitched as inch by beautiful inch her flawless skin was revealed. Creamy, white thighs...

_Marieeeeeeee!_

Totally bare Marie...fuuuuuck. Edward swallowed hard, eyes nearly bulging out of its sockets. Bella's vagina looked so smooth and perfect. Anthony was beside himself, twitching and hardening and throbbing. For the life of him, he couldn't take his eyes off Marie.

The backwards stripping thing that Bella was presently doing completely made sense to Edward. He totally loved it. Especially _Anthony_.

Then a vision of her stomach followed until Edward had to bite his lip to stop the groan from coming out. Bella's breasts. Bella's fucking perky, perfect-for-his-hands, breasts came into view. He wanted to kneel down and worship them. He wanted to take those gorgeous, pink-tipped breasts in his mouth and suck and lick them forever. He had to clench his fists tightly; the need to cup them and feel their weight was overwhelming him.

"This is all me, Edward. Excuse the paleness and the almost non-existent boobs. Umm..." Bella stopped talking and blushed. Well, this was it. She was standing in front of her best buddy, completely naked and yep, red as an apple.

She saw him shake his head then stand up, taking hold of both her hands and squeezing them. "You're perfect."

"Well, uh, I wouldn't go that far. I'm okay-looking, I guess. But perfect? Nah."

Edward didn't respond to what she said. Instead, he cupped the sides of her face and leaned down to kiss her. It was such a slow, gentle kiss. He took his time brushing his lips over hers, like he was memorizing the shape of her mouth. He nibbled on her lower lip a little before flicking his tongue over it. His tongue followed the outer line of her lips before taking her pouty lower lip in his to suck and lick some more. When she expelled a shaky breath, he took advantage of her opened mouth and plunged his tongue inside.

Bella moaned as she felt Edward's tongue invade the inside of her mouth. He relentlessly tasted every crevice, even licked her teeth and the roof of her mouth before curling his tongue around hers and sucking on it as if he needed it to live. There was a feel of desperation in the way Edward was kissing her that didn't make sense. Although, she wasn't gonna complain. Edward was an A+ kisser.

She felt his hands let go of her face and trail down her naked back, pushing her closer to him. He was grunting as he thrust his tongue in and out of her mouth, his hips mimicking the movement, while she tried desperately to catch his tongue and suck on it herself. Edward's taste was ridiculously delicious, like a cross between Skittles and mint. When he finally let her have a go on his elusive tongue, she sighed in contentment.

When she shifted closer, bringing their lower bodies so close that there was no more space between them, she felt Anthony poke her stomach. Edward's penis felt so solid, like a rock. A _huge_, poking rock. When his hands stopped at her hips, he raised her a little so that Anthony and Marie were aligned for direct contact and started moving her hips in time with his. She pulled her lips away from Edward and groaned, "I need to sit. Or lie down. I don't think I can stand up anymore."

Edward nodded and they moved towards the bed. Bella sat down and watched him take off his clothes. He felt immensely proud of his body seeing her almost gaping as she checked out his muscled chest and abs (_which made Bella lick her lips upon seeing_, he smugly thought) then followed the movement of his hands with her eyes as he unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans. He could actually hear Bella gasp when he hooked his hands on both the waistband of his jeans and boxers then pulled them down.

Anthony had a roaring entrance.

He was proudly erect and had never been as big as he was tonight.

_I'm the man, boss. I'm the man._

"Wow. Hello, Anthony."

He smiled at Bella's breathless greeting.

_Hel-lo, Bella. Ready to mambo?_

Edward rolled his eyes.

"You shaved."

He nodded as he approached her, watching her scoot in the center of his bed. _Fuck, she belonged here. She fucking belongs here, in my bed - with me - always. _"Anthony ordered me to do it."

Bella chuckled and lay down, closing her eyes when she felt how comfortable and smooth the silk sheets feel in her skin. She felt the bed dip when Edward joined her then sensed him looming over her.

"Open your eyes, Bella. Look at me."

The sight of Edward, above her, wearing the same expression in his eyes that she couldn't figure out hours ago, brought back the butterflies-weak-knees-heart-rate-way-up combo.

"Ready for this, baby?"

She was literally breathless with anticipation. "Yes."

He moved closer, parting Bella's endless legs to give room for himself. He supported his weight by resting his elbows on each side of her head. He rested his forehead on hers, closing his eyes and savoring the moment. He inhaled and a mix of vanilla, strawberry and Bella's own addictive smell inhabit his senses. Finally giving in to the need to taste her again, he leaned down and gave her a kiss. He couldn't help moaning his approval when she met him halfway and opened her mouth to welcome him in.

He was fucking home.

They shared deep, probing kisses for a minute or two before Edward pulled away and dropped a smattering of kisses on Bella's cheeks, nose, chin, jaw and neck. When he reached her collarbone, he gave it a few licks before sucking and nipping it gently.

Bella moaned and pulled him closer, one hand burrowed in his hair while the other rubbed Edward's muscled back. She could feel him inching closer to her breasts and even before he could give it some stimulation, her nipples hardened. She arched her back instinctively, feeling Edward's mouth hovering over her right nipple. "Please."

"Please what, baby?"

She bit her lip and opened her eyes, catching him looking up at her. "L-lick it."

He gently flicked it once with the tip of his tongue. "Like that?"

"More," she mumbled and offered said nipple to him.

She watched him licked the tip then swirl his tongue around the pebbled nipple before engulfing it inside his mouth in a gentle sucking motion. Her body's reaction was immediate, liquid gushing uncontrollably down _there _making Marie really wet. The sucking done on her right nipple and the thumb grazing on the left became too intense for Bella to handle. Everything was heightened. She felt electrified. She couldn't stop the tingles and the shudders...

"Oh God!"

A toe-curling sensation flooded over her senses and all she could do was let it happen. _I think I saw a glimpse of God having coffee with Elvis and James Dean for a moment there._

It didn't help that Edward continued what he was doing regardless of what just happened. Her other nipple was given the same amount of attention and it was friggin' delicious!_ I didn't know my breasts could be this sensitive. This is bad. I love nursing Edward. What? I'm confusing even myself. It sounded like I'm his mother and...eww. Just eww._

Bella was able to relax for a full second when she felt him release her nipple and kissed his way to her stomach. He gave it tiny nibbles and licks that tickled and she was about to giggle when his tongue dipped inside her navel and all she managed was a long drawn-out "Uhhhhh."

The _Uhhhhhh_ turned to _Oh My God_ when she felt his hand cup Marie.

She literally stopped breathing when he inserted a finger – not sure what finger – inside her. _That's my tampons only zone! Abort! Abort! I want my Mommy!_

Sensing her fear, Edward removed his finger and crawled back up. When they were face to face, he tenderly brushed a finger over her flushed cheek. "You okay?"

She took a deep breath then nodded. "I just had an orgasm."

"I know. Your breath hitched and you tend to bite the side of your lower lip when you peak."

Bella blushed deep red. "I do?"

"Yep. It's mesmerizing."

She sighed. "I just discovered that I could orgasm by just, erm, stimulating my breasts. Maybe because I'm a twenty-four year old virgin, I get off easily."

"A lot of women do, Bella. It's not about your age or being a virgin."

"I couldn't blame them. Having one's nipples licked and sucked is all kinds of delicious."

Edward smiled then lay down beside her. Anthony was raring to go; but it was _Bella_ he was concerned about. Yes, she was wet enough, but she was a virgin and she needed a little stretch before Anthony could penetrate her. "Bella? Do you want to stop?"

Bella turned to face him and shook her head. "No. I...I just got really scared when I felt your finger."

He gave her a quick kiss. "Okay. Want me to try something else?"

"Don't you want me to give you a blowjob first?" she counter-asked.

Anthony nodded. His heart didn't. _Tonight is about Bella, Anthony. Lay off. You'll get your one-on-one with Marie, I promise. _"No, I'm good. Let's concentrate on you, Bella. I'm overly stimulated anyway. I don't want to self-combust."

"Self-combust?" Bella grinned at him. "I'm that arousing for you?"

_You have no fucking idea._ "You have no fucking idea."

She burst out laughing. "Crude, Edward."

"Prude, Bella."

She merely raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm not so prude-y anymore dude. Look; I'm naked, wet from an orgasm and just minutes away from losing my V-card."

"Not so prude-y, huh? Let's see about that." Edward challenged then with a wink, got up from the bed, took hold of her ankles and pulled her to the edge of the bed. He then knelt between her parted legs, raised them to his shoulders and looked at her. "Well? Should I continue, my love?"

She rolled her eyes at what he called her. "I'm no prude. Eat me."

Edward pretended to look scandalized. "Isabella Marie Swan." _Cullen_, he mentally added. "Where did you learn such language?"

"From my crude housemate," she promptly answered, then giggled when he beamed proudly at her. "Come here for a second, Crude. I want to be kissed here before there," she added touching her lips before pointing Marie.

Edward did, leaving her breathless and craving for more but he already went back to his kneeling position and was intent to indeed _eat her_. She raised herself a little and leaned on her elbow to be able to watch him do it. But when Edward lowered his face to Marie and blew his hot breath on her gently, the elbow that supported her weight turned to jelly and she gave up watching.

Her Sex God/buddy/housemate/deflowerer extraordinaire began dragging his talented tongue around the bend of her thighs, circling Marie. With each pass, he came closer to Marie's highly-sensitized lips, licking and nibbling her flesh.

_Oh God, the licking and nibbling..._

Edward pushed the tip of his tongue between Marie's lips and tasted her amazing wetness. _Fuuck. I could live just by drinking Bella's pussy juice alone. _He let his tongue rest against her clit before he gently pushed and wiggled it back and forth.

"Oh my God!" she exclaimed loudly. Actually, it sounded more like _Uhhh meeeh gawwwd_ to her. Heaven help her, she almost jack knifed off the bed. She was trembling and gasping for breath; electrified from the tips of her hair to her toenails. _I wouldn't be surprised if my hair resembled Don King's right now. Oh and there's God again, this time chatting with Michael Jackson._

If she thought that was the most intense experience she could possibly have, she was wrong.

Driven by Bella's reactions, Edward buried his face in Marie and began licking and sucking her lips in earnest; pulling them and gently biting them in a way that made Bella release a keening sound punctuated by Oh Edwards. Encouraged, he suckled her clit hard and licked it, causing her to raise the volume of her "Oh Edward" to another level.

He drove his tongue into Marie's hole, licking the juice and swallowing it with gusto. _Mine. Nobody will taste and savor Bella's juice but me. Ever. _Using both thumbs, he gently pulled Marie's lips wide apart so that he could shove his tongue deeper. He couldn't get enough of her taste.

When he was assured that Bella was lubricated enough, he inserted back his index finger and tested her tightness. Anthony twitched incessantly. _So fucking tight. She's so fucking tight, Anthony. _He sucked her clit to distract her as he added another finger inside.

Bella's keening intensified.

He started to move his fingers in and out of Marie, in time with the suckling of her clit. When he carefully pushed his fingers deeper (he wanted Bella to lose her hymen via Anthony and not through them) and touched against a particular spongy spot, Bella literally went crazy.

"Oh God. Edward! I'm about to pee...no, I'm not. Yes, I am. Oh, God I'm so confused. Edward!"

G-spot invaded. He curled his fingers in a come hither motion and stimulated it even more.

Bella screamed his name (which made him feel like he was ten feet tall) at the top of her lungs and her body jerked a couple of times.

G-spot conquered.

_A standing ovation for you, boss._

He licked and sucked all the juices that came out of Marie then stood up, helped Bella lay down on the bed properly and reached for a condom. He could feel Bella watching him put it on and when that was done, he moved in between her parted legs.

Their eyes met and held.

"Wow."

He smiled. He fucking felt like yelling "I'm the King of the World" right about then.

"That was...wow." Bella exclaimed, licking her suddenly dry lips. "What was that, anyway? It was super intense."

"You just discovered that the G-spot was not a myth."

Bella whistled. "I love my G-spot."

_I love you. _If only he could say it out loud.

Noticing for the first time his position and the condom on Anthony, Bella beamed at him. "This is really it, Edward."

He nodded, fighting the urge to cry. _What the...? Don't get fucking emotional now you dufus! Stop acting like _you're_ the virgin here! _He held Anthony in one hand and leaned forward, guiding him inside Marie. Bella helped by raising her legs and wrapping it around his waist. When the tip entered her moist opening, Edward closed his eyes. _So warm. So moist. So snug. So _mine_._ Anthony was fist pumping and high fiving himself. Edward, on the other hand, was an emotional wreck.

Unmoving, he tried to get a hold on his feelings.

When a minute passed and he remained still, Bella called his name.

Opening his eyes, he gave her an assuring smile (albeit forced) then continued pushing Anthony inside Marie. Bella winced a little. He leaned even closer and kissed her full on the mouth, giving her some time to adjust. He nibbled on her chin and pushed another inch. Bella grimaced but did not complain. He looked down at where they're joined and sighed in relief seeing Anthony was almost half in.

He doubled the effort on keeping Bella aroused; giving her open-mouthed kisses, licking that sensitive skin behind her ears, nibbling her earlobe, sucking her nipples (which was her favorite) all the while alternately pushing Anthony in then pulling out. When they reached the dreaded hymen, their eyes met. Bella bit her lip then pulled him for a kiss. "Do it, Edward. Pull a Nike. Just do it."

He kissed her back, shoving his tongue inside her mouth and squeezed her right nipple a couple of times, waiting to hear her respond positively to the stimulation. When he squeezed her other nipple and she moaned, he gave one hard thrust that bid adieu to Marie's conscience.

Bella pulled away from him in surprise. "Did...? Was that...?"

He nodded solemnly, a bit scared to move. "Did it hurt?"

She tentatively moved her hips forward, causing Anthony to lodge deeper inside her. "A little but the pain was tolerable. I expected the worst. Did I bleed?"

Edward pulled Anthony out slowly and gently then checked. He sighed in relief. "Yep. But not too much."

Bella nodded then looked at him. "You did it Edward! You deflowered me!"

_Don't get emotional, fucker_. "Nah."

"So eloquently put," Bella teased, then winked at him. She was so giddy, it wasn't even funny. No more hymen! No more conscience! "Care to finish the deed, Mr. Deflowerer Extraordinaire?"

Instead of answering, he pushed Anthony back inside Marie and watched Bella's face as he did so. She huffed a breath, but again she didn't complain. He leaned fully against her, hands on the side of her head, taking in much of his weight as he penetrated her. "How do you feel now?"

Bella tightened her legs around his hips and mimicked the movement of his hips. "Wonderful."

He kissed her. _I love you so much._

She kissed him back. _Thank you for everything._

"You up to try a new position?"

Bella's eyes widened. "I may no longer be a virgin, Edward but I'm sorry, I don't think I could do anal."

_Jesus Christ_. "I'm not proposing anal sex, Bella."

"Oh. Okay. What position were you proposing, then?"

Edward willed his heart to calm down. With Anthony still buried snugly inside Marie, he lifted Bella up in his arms as he rose from lying down to kneel in the middle of the bed. When they were chest to chest, he licked her earlobe then whispered, "Wrap your legs around me, baby and hang on to my shoulders."

He closed his mouth over Bella's, kissing her intensely as he began thrusting his hips up and down. Hands on each side of her hips, he controlled the undulating movement of her body. When they established a rhythm, he raised her a bit to lavish her nipples with attention.

Bella groaned aloud and asked him to move faster.

Harder.

Then Bella decided to take the matter in her own hands by using his shoulders as leverage, she untangled her legs and set her feet on each side of his waist. Then _she_ started riding _him_.

Fuuuuuuuuuck.

He watched in awe as she took control and fucked him. Her beautiful breasts jiggled as she bounced up and down on top of him. He could hear her mumble his name over and over as she moved, eyes closed.

He could feel her nearing the point of no return with the way her movements started to become erratic.

Edward held on to her and took the rein once again, pumping furiously now as he pulled Bella's face to his and kissed her. His tongue devoured her mouth as Anthony devoured Marie. He put Bella's left knee on the bend of his right arm, raising it a little then shifted his hips, angling for deeper penetration. Bella went back to keening and half-yelling _Oh Edwards_ now.

"Bella!" He gasped. "Open your eyes!" Grunt. "Look at me!"

She opened her eyes and blinked. "Wha..."

"Look at me, baby. Focus on my eyes, come on!"

She blinked a couple of times, and then finally managed to focus on Edward's amazing green eyes. _Sensation overload. Am I about to die? Oh my God, this felt so...oh Edward!_

Edward grunted, pushed Anthony the deepest and farthest he could possibly reach and shared the moment of blinding lights and mind-numbing pleasure with Bella's _Oh Edwards_ as they locked eyes.

_I fucking love you!_

_Oh God! Oh Edward Anthony Masen Cullen!_

They were both gasping for breath, sweaty and a bit dazed with the intensity of their mutual orgasm. When their hearts finally settled and they were no longer breathing as if they ran a marathon thrice, he felt Bella rested her head on the crook of his shoulder and gave out a contented sigh. Edward dropped a tender kiss on her exposed nape and tightened his arm around her a bit.

This is it, the right moment. Granted, Anthony was still inside Bella and there was no denying the fact that he was still erect and hard, but this particular moment felt right. Damn the consequences of his decision, he'd tell her now.

"I love you, Bella." He cleared his throat. "I love you so much."

Silence.

He cleared his throat. "I mean, I'm in love with you. Like a man loves a woman. I love you more than a buddy. I'm so in love with you in a non-platonic way." _What the fuck, Edward? Keep it short and concise, stop the word vomit already!_

No response.

Edward wanted to slap himself. _This had got to be the most pathetic admission of love, ever. _"Do you understand what I'm trying to say here, Bella?"

Nothing.

He looked at her slumped form and called her name. When again, she didn't answer, he pushed her away a little then peered at her in concern. _Fuck._

She was out cold.

Bella had passed out, not hearing his confession at all. He didn't know if he should be happy that she didn't hear that lame-ass admission or be disappointed that when he finally put his heart out there and told her what he truly felt, she slept through it.

_You should've given her an energy drink before making love to her, boss. Or a female pill version of Viagra. _

Edward groaned in frustration. He just experienced heaven and hell in one night. He just hoped the next time he'd tell Bella his feelings; she'd be awake, alert and responsive. He also hoped to God her answer would be "I'm in love with you too, Edward."

He pulled Anthony out of Marie then gently laid Bella on the bed. Lying beside her, he pulled the silk sheet over them then hugged her closer to him. Edward heard her sigh then felt her nuzzle her face on his bare chest while her hands remained clasped under her chin. She looked so at peace in her sleep. _So fucking beautiful._ "I love you, Bella. I really hope you feel the same way about me."

_If not?_ His insecure self asked.

He gazed down lovingly at the sleeping brunette. _Then_ _I'll make her love me that way. Whatever it takes, we _will_ end up together. _Edward dropped a kiss on top of Bella's head_. She's mine. I'm hers. Forever. I'll make it happen._

He considered what he just thought then nodded his head in affirmation. He's Edward fucking Cullen. Of course he'll make it happen.

Anthony hummed the wedding march, smirking.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything Twi-related.

Thanks Izzzyy :)

* * *

Chapter 12: Morning After Part 1

"_Morning afters can be a bitch, Bella. Either the man you spent the night with disappears on you without even leaving a note, much less his phone number, or he sticks around. Not for you, nuh uh, but for the free breakfast you provide. But what really sucks big time? When the man you spent the night with was an epic failure in bed, and yet, he sticks around until the next morning."_

Bella chuckled recalling Jessica's story months ago, in one of her infamous "I'll rant and rave, you just sit there and listen" sessions. She'd heard a lot of morning after stories before – Alice had colourful ones - and it always made her wonder. How would her own morning after be?

She grinned to herself and stretched. _Let's find out, shall we?_

After giving in to the need to rub her body on Edward's bed twice (the silk sheets were heavenly), she sat up and winced a little. _Whoa_. She glanced down at Marie in concern. "Hey, you're a bit sore."

Bella swung both her feet on the floor and gaped at her thighs when she could barely move them. _Oh no! Even my inner thighs are protesting. Could this mean I'll be walking bowlegged today?_ She pictured herself walking that way and began to worry. How would she explain that to the others? Rose and Emmett were hosting a special lunch for her today and if she showed up walking funny this afternoon...Bella groaned. "Marie? Do you need an ice pack? Or a hot compress, maybe? What should I get you?"

Her supposedly sore vagina tingled instead.

"Seriously, that's your answer? You tingle? Well, you only tingle when..." Bella's jaw dropped in realization. "Marie Swan! You...you..._slut_! I can barely move my lower body and yet you want to be penetrated again? Unbelievable!"

_Hey Bella, your vagina is more fun than you! She wants to be _peen_etrated. Haha. I'm so clever._

Her traitor brain was back.

_Grr._ "Shut up. I'm ignoring you for the duration of my entire existence."

"I hope you didn't mean _me_."

Bella looked up from her almost-confrontation with her brain (and her vagina) to see Edward leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed, looking at her in amusement. Then his eyes shifted downward and an appreciative smile appeared on his face. "I'm not gonna complain or anything, but you're really into flashing me now, Bella."

_And you call _Marie_ a slut? Pot, meet kettle then call each other black. I'm on a roll today!_

Bella's eyes widened. "Stop looking at my boobies, Edward!" She demanded before pulling the silk comforter up to cover herself. "Dude, just because you sampled everything last night didn't mean you'll get to enjoy a free-for-you-to-peek-at-my-body-anytime pass. Sheesh. Next time I'm like this, just friggin' close your eyes."

"Hey, it's not my fault you're into nudity now. I've got eyes, I saw you...wait. There's a next time?"

"Shut up."

Edward grinned. "For the record, your boobies looked perfect." _Tasted perfect too._

He watched Bella fidget as he crossed the short distance and sat beside her on the bed. She was blushing and shaking her head, eyes fixed on her lap.

"Cut it out."

Edward desperately wanted to reach out and hug the obviously embarrassed brunette. "Am I making you uncomfortable, Miss Bella?"

"Yep."

"So you'd rather not hear me compliment your–"

"I'd rather move on from this topic!" Bella quickly interrupted, making him chuckle. "Besides, it wasn't only our topic that's making me uncomfortable."

Edward turned serious. "What do you mean?"

"Marie and my inner thighs are a bit sore and stiff..." Bella admitted. "Like I was horseback riding nonstop last night." She took a significant pause then winked jokingly at him. "Which I kinda did, come to think of it."

Edward's cheeks reddened. Such _a pussy reaction, Edward! You're a man! Deal with it like a man!_

"Did I just make Edward Cullen blush?" Bella teased, grinning at him.

"No!"

"Pffft! You're doing it again. Stop denying it, Edward! You blushed. End of story."

"For someone in pain, you still manage to be irritating."

Bella's grin widened. "I'm just turning the tables on you, dude. You made me uncomfortable a few minutes ago, now it's your turn to fidget."

"What a spiteful woman. To think I've prepared the cure for her soreness and stiffness..." Edward feigned disappointment.

"You did?"

He stood up and pretended to start walking away. "I changed my mind."

Bella reached out a hand to pull him back. "Edward, cut it out! Come on, what did you do?"

He smiles. "Well, I've been slaving away this morning cooking an extremely elaborate breakfast and I also prepped a luxurious, warm bubble bath for your sore and stiff muscles."

The brunette made an _awww face_. "You're simply wonderful, Edward Cullen."

Cue the blushing. _What the fuck is up with me blushing all the time? This seriously needs to stop._ "Shut up."

"I promise I won't tease you about blushing ever again," Bella wholeheartedly stated with a nod then beamed at him. "So what will I be doing first?"

_Us, Bella! Do _us_ first!_

Edward ignored Anthony's enthusiastic suggestion even if he wanted it badly himself. Making love to her again was his topmost need, and he had to start fighting it off the moment he opened his eyes and saw her sleeping beside him.

Waking up, spooned with Bella, was hands down the best morning after he'd ever experienced.

_Boss, I think waking up to a Bella blowjob would be ten times better._

What a dick_._ "Take an Ibuprofen, soak in a warm bubble bath, then breakfast. In that order."

"Yes, boss!" She even saluted him for effect.

_Bella sounded just like me right then, boss._ The fucker was beaming.

"Wait here for a sec." Edward quickly went out of his room to get a glass of water and the promised Ibuprofen out of the medicine cabinet Bella had mounted in their kitchen (most accidents happened there, at least in their experience) and hurried back to see her waiting for him, a happy smile on her beautiful face.

His pulse raced. _I love you so fucking much._

She accepted the meds, put it on her tongue and tipped her head back as she drank the entire glass, making Anthony twitch - the pervert was turned on by the motion of Bella's throat.

"Done."

Telling his dick to behave, Edward moved closer to Bella and put his left arm under her leg while his right supported her back. Then he stood up, carrying the birthday girl with him, in all her birthday suit glory.

"Wait! I have to put something on!"

He shook his head and continued walking. "Last time I checked, clothes weren't required in taking baths."

Bella could only sigh in resignation. Well, it's not like Edward hadn't seen her naked before. And it's not like he was some pervert who would ogle her. There was a reason she chose him to be her first. There was also a reason why the moment she lost her virginity would forever be epic in her memory.

She trusted Edward.

Edward made losing her hymen an epic event in her otherwise boring life.

When they were finally outside his room, she smelled the elaborate breakfast that Edward mentioned. "Oh my God, you made my favorite! Baked Florentine Omelette?"

"Yep." _I am one smug sonofabitch._

She sniffed some more. "Hash browns, bacon, waffles and...are those croissants that I smell baking in the oven?"

"Made from scratch. I prepped the dough last night." _As a distraction_. He'd needed the distraction or he would've ended up making love to Bella again and again and again, even though she was passed out. God knows it was so hard to restrain himself when he woke up to pee and saw her snuggled comfortably in his arms. So even if he had to endure Rosalie's wrath in calling her at two in the morning for the recipe and some instructions, he did. Good thing she was awake and eating some crazy pregnant lady snack – pickles dipped in soy sauce, this time – so he got both the recipe and instructions without her usual snarkiness.

The teasing he could take in stride.

"Just do yourself a favor and marry her already, Edward."

"Thank you for the recipe, Rose. I'm hanging up now."

Emmett's pregnant wife's laughter was the last thing he heard before he eventually hung up.

Bella turned to look at Edward in awe. "You're unbelievable."

_No blushing, Edward. No blushing!_ "Last night, we missed eating dinner together. I'm just trying to make up for that by making all your favourite breakfast foods and eating together."

"Dinner was delicious," she pointed out. "Besides, the only reason why we weren't able to eat it together was because of my wastebasket fiasco. So you didn't have to make up for anything."

He shrugged. "Let me do this. After all, it's your birthday, and you deserve it. Now, since I have an armful of Bella Swan, kindly open the door of your room please."

Bella chuckled and turned the knob. Edward walked straight to her bathroom and what she saw made her tighten the arm she placed around his neck.

First off, her bathroom smelled so nice. The vanilla-scented candles were back, only just a bit less in number compared to what were scattered around Edward's room the night before. They surrounded her bath tub, making it glow.

Secondly, the bubbles looked so inviting. There were also a few bits of rose petal sprinkled around the bubbles. Luxurious, romantic and, apparently, a soreness-and-stiffness buster. She couldn't wait to soak herself.

Thirdly, Edward anticipated everything. Her ratty, yellow robe and a fluffy new towel were placed at the foot of the tub. He also put another extra-fluffy towel at the opposite side where she could rest her head while she soaked. He even remembered her love for Sarah Mclachlan. Bella could hear her softly singing about being in the arms of an angel and in that moment, she could relate.

_I am not crying over this._

Too bad her tear ducts didn't listen. "For the record, I'm crying because I'm so touched by your thoughtfulness."

Edward tenderly kissed her temple. "I'd much prefer for you to not cry at all."

"Sorry, no can do." Bella replied, smiling through her tears. "Thank you for this, Edward. You've been so wonderful about everything; I wish I could do something for you in return. Not that I could top what you did last night and this."

"Well..." Edward began as he gently deposited her on the tub, "you enjoy this bath and the breakfast later. Do that for me and we'll consider it even."

The moment she felt the bubbles surround her, Bella couldn't stop the purr that came out of her mouth. _This is heaven on earth. Seriously, heaven on earth. _She gave Edward a grateful smile as she looked up at him.

_Sorry, I couldn't resist._ He leaned down and dropped a quick kiss on her upturned face before indulging his need to feel those pouty lips touched his. It was a close-mouthed, no tongues kiss and yet Edward felt goosebumps on his arms.

"Happy birthday, baby."

_Baby._

For some unexplainable reason, Bella's heart rate increased and she felt short of breath. The way Edward said _baby_ awakened the butterflies in her stomach and for the love of God, _The Look_ was back in full force. Edward was giving it to her in massive doses. She should know, because their faces were only a breath apart from each other.

_Longest eyelashes – on a man – ever._

_Greenest eyes, ever._

_Most intense expression of unfathomable reason in one's eyes, ever._

_Staring...staring...staring...unblinkingly...staring..._

_I'm wet. And it's not because I'm soaking in a bubble bath. _

Bella swallowed audibly at the last thought.

She cleared her throat and moved a few inches back, just enough to give herself breathing room from all these Edward perfection. "T-thank you." Her voice sounded different.

Edward straightened and scratched the back of his head a couple of times. "Um..."

They shared a glance, looked away and blushed at the same time.

_Fuck this blushing bullshit._

_Why am I reacting this way to Edward?_

_I need to get out of here._

_I need my alone time to think._

"I'll just check on the croissants."

"I'll just close my eyes and enjoy my bath."

Edward mentally groaned.

Bella made a face.

"Touchdown."

"Manuscript."

Without exchanging looks nor acknowledging each other, Edward indeed walked out of Bella's bathroom in a rush while the birthday girl closed her eyes and rested her head on the towel.

When Edward reached the safety of the kitchen, he rested his hands on his knees and leaned down to catch his breath. _Being this much in love with someone is crazy. I no longer think jumping on couches enthusiastically while talking about the woman you love is laughable. _

Bella, on the other hand, opened her eyes the minute she heard her bedroom's door closed and expelled a breath. She placed a hand over her palpitating heart and bit her lip. That had been weird. _Talking at the same time, using our safe words at the same time...what's next? Singing a duet?_

She shook her head at the thought. She could never be a singer and for the three years that they'd been friends and lived together, she had yet to hear Edward sing. Yes he loved music, but singing? He never showed any interest at all. Ironic how his bar sometimes had open-mic nights and its owner never participated. She did a couple of times, to Jess' treachery and Jasper's insistence. She was bad (understatement of the year!) at it but what the heck, it was fun. _Now_ she was curious to hear Edward sing. Maybe she could pull a Jessica and trick him into doing it. Hmm...

_Hey, Bella, focus! You completely veered off topic._

The brunette acknowledged her traitor brain with a nod.

"What happened a few minutes ago? We were fine before Edward called me baby and gave me that look. Now _that_ was intense." She wondered aloud as she absent-mindedly played with the bubbles using her other hand.

Her heart continued hammering away as she recalled _The Look_ which paved the way to her recalling what transpired last night. The kisses she shared with Edward. How he looked naked.

_Edward was a hunk and a half. _

She licked her suddenly dry lips and giggled to herself. Should she be thinking this way?

_Slut it up, Bella! For once, bask in the knowledge that you finally got laid last night. With Edward Cullen, no less! That's an achievement in itself! _

She chuckled at her traitor brain. "Fine. I will."

Images of them kept flashing in her mind. Even Anthony made a lot of appearances causing Marie to tingle uncontrollably. Bella started to fidget and bit her lip firmly when the image of Edward tonguing her came to mind. The memory was so vivid that she could actually feel his tongue licking and sucking Marie at that very moment.

She moaned.

Marie was throbbing and gushing at this point. The hand that was feeling her heart moved lower until her pinkie grazed a nipple.

Bella's eyes widened at the sensation.

_Holy Frankfurter! I think I'm horny._

She quickly pulled her hand away from her chest and inhaled/exhaled a bit. When she closed her eyes to focus solely on calming down, a vision of naked Edward looming above her, gently and tenderly penetrating her came unbidden. In friggin high def to boot.

Bella opened her eyes in alarm.

"Oh my God! I'm horny...I'm horny for _Edward_."

Stockholm syndrome with a twist indeed.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I'm not Stephenie Meyer. I'm just a crazy fan.

Thanks Izzzyy :)

* * *

Chapter 13: Morning After, Part 2

_Whoa._

Edward's hand – which was poised to knock on Bella's bathroom door a second ago to alert her of his presence – remained frozen inches away from the door, hearing her shocked admission.

"_Holy Frankfurter! I'm horny...I'm horny for Edward."_

He dropped the hand and backed away, unsure of what to do next.

Anthony wasn't having the same predicament though. His dick twitched and jerked with enthusiasm. _Did you hear that, boss? Bella's horny and she wants you! Come on, barge in there and tell her you're just as horny!_

Then the fucker did his own version of a crude, pelvic humping dance while humming "Let's Get It On."

_As if he's got a pelvis to begin with_, Edward thought derisively. And the song his dick was fixated on was really getting old.

_Boss, it _was_ an old song. Duh. But it's schmexy and−_

_Shut up, Anthony!_ Edward rubbed his face in frustration. He didn't mean to eavesdrop. Honest to God, he didn't. He was going to tell Bella that he was going out for a bit to buy professionally baked croissants since the ones he made ended up being hazardous to eat. He wasn't sure what happened – they smelled nice in the beginning and ended up tasting like shit in the end. It didn't make sense at all.

_Come on, boss, stop obsessing about the croissants and get in there! Bella's horny! _Horny!_ This is the silver lining...the light at the end of the tunnel...the rainbow after the rain...the rubber you didn't expect to find in your wallet when you're ready to pump...just grab it, man, and be thankful! Or let Bella grab me...whatever, as long as there would be grabbing and humping, if you know what I mean. Giggity. _

He glanced at the slightly ajar door and bit the inside of his lip. If this were another woman, he wouldn't even stop to think. He'd be inside showering with her (baths took time and kinkiness aside, he preferred taking them alone), fucking like a rabbit 'cause who the fuck cares about breakfast? His usual morning after - when he did stick around, which seldom happened - consisted of one last fuck and a see you soon. But this was Bella and she was not just some ordinary lay. _I'm_ _fucking in love with her!_ He should respect-

_When you got in there and satisfy Bella's horniness – which you undoubtedly would with perfect me on your side – you _will_ respect her wishes, boss! Come on! Do it! _

"Marie, please, please, please. Just stop with the tingling."

Edward's ears perked. Bella was talking to her vagina! He felt like his heart would burst in a second, momentarily forgetting his dilemma and basking in the knowledge that not only did they name their genitals, they both talked to them as well.

_My Marie needs me, boss! Don't be cruel! Don't go all Hitler with me, come onnnnnnnnn. My woman needs me! Don't get in the way of true love!_

"You're starting to annoy me, Marie Swan!" Edward heard Bella snap. "You're already sore, and I'm going to walk bowlegged to lunch with our friends - who will ask me why I'm walking like that in the first place - and I'm one hundred percent sure Edward doesn't want a repeat of last night! He did that as a _favor_, Marie! Stop obsessing about Anthony for a minute and let me enjoy my bath in peace!" She paused before adding a meek "Please?"

_Noooooooo! I _want_ Marie to obsess about me! I'm worthy of that! I'm huge; I'm always ready to partay – well, with _Marie_ anyway – and I'm all smooth, hairless and neat! In short, I'm amazing! _

Anthony was whining and yet he still found time to stroke his ego in the process.

_Pay attention, boss. My ego doesn't need any stroking, but _I_ do. _

Edward shook his head in disbelief. He wondered if Marie talked back like Anthony. That was a question he'd ask Bella when everything was finally resolved. "Whenever that is," he whispered in frustration.

_I'm completely losing manly points here, boss, but I don't care. I promise I'll behave. I promise I will never sing that Marvin Gaye song again. I promise I will always be ready in a nanosecond whenever you need me – although truthfully, I don't have to promise that. You know I'm reliable and dependable in that department._

His narcissistic dick was laying it on too thick.

_Rhyme much? Boss, please let me have this. Need more promises? Fine, I promise you will never have the need for Viagra even when you're sixty! How about that? _

Edward felt the beginnings of a headache hit him. A migraine was inevitable, with all the whining, indecision, yo-yoing emotions and denying his own instinct to do what Anthony had been begging him to do. He glanced at the bathroom door once again, finger combed his hair and frowned.

"And for Pete's sake, I don't know how to masturbate, Marie! I didn't need the knowledge before since I never felt the need to diddle myself, remember? It's only now that we're both like this! We've become a pair of horny sluts...Gah!"

_Fuck it. I'm going in._

Anthony cheered.

He was a mere step away from the bathroom door when the shrill ringing of the phone made him stop.

_Ignore it, boss._

Edward glanced at the door then sighed as the phone continued to ring.

_Let the answering machine do its thing, boss. Just go be with Bella already! _

It stopped after the third ring.

_See! Go go go go, boss! _

With a nod of determination, Edward knocked once, opened his mouth to call Bella's name but his voice was drowned out by the ringing of his cell phone.

_Seriously, what the fuck?_

Anthony deflated in defeat. _I'm beginning to think you're cursed, boss._

"Edward?" Pause. "Are you there?"

He muttered an expletive at hearing Bella's surprised voice and reached for his fucking cockblocker cell phone inside his jean pocket.

_Alice._

He pushed the answer button, told Alice to wait, and then ducked his head inside the slightly open bathroom door. He could only see Bella's neck and up, to Anthony's disappointment.

_Just me? Yeah, right. Sometimes you're so in denial, boss._

"Hey, I'll be out for awhile. Fifteen minutes, tops. I just have to buy something for our breakfast feast."

"Oh. Okay. What-"

"I'll be back before you know it." Edward promised and with a final wave he was gone.

Bella heard the slam of their front door and her brow furrowed in confusion. _Why was Edward acting weird_? She shrugged and closed her eyes, silently thanking Marie for finally heeding her request to stop tingling. A few minutes passed before something clicked.

Lightbulb moment.

She opened her eyes and sat up, appalled. "He heard me! Edward knew I was horny for him!"

_Eeeeeek._

She stood up so fast, water splashed over the tub and down the floor dousing all of the candles, making the slightly open bathroom door the only source of light. She blinked and looked around, her face, ears, and chest all red in humiliation. _If the floor won't open up and swallow me, I'll dig a hole myself _then_ jump in voluntarily. _She looked up and screamed "It's my birthday! Please cut me some slack!"

Her traitor brain called her a drama queen.

Bella exhaled loudly and tried to calm herself. She _was_ acting like a drama queen and she needed to snap out of it. She had to. It was her birthday and Edward went to a lot of trouble for her. "It's done, Bella. No amount of screaming will change that. Just talk it out with him. Look at the bright side − at least this happened with _Edward_ and not with someone lame."

She sighed and checked the situation she was suddenly in, thanks to her drama queen-ish reaction. It was a bit dark, there were bubbles everywhere and it was way too slippery. Not a good place to be when you're Bella Swan. The last thing she wanted to happen – she just reached her humiliation quota for the day, thank you very much – was to slip, buck naked, and be discovered by Edward that way 'cause she passed out from hitting her head.

She gingerly stepped out of the tub, slipping a bit but managing to not fall (Halleluiah!) then dropped to her knees, crawling out of the bathroom. _Better to look stupid than slip and fall. _When she was safely outside, she stood up and turned on the lights to survey the damage she inflicted on her bathroom.

Nothing a mop couldn't fix.

With a nod, she went to get another robe and mentally informed Edward she'd be using his shower. _He wouldn't mind, I'm sure of it. He'll understand. Just like how he won't make a big deal of hearing me say I'm horny for him. I'll be open and honest about it and then we'll both agree to treat it as if it never happened. Good._

She hummed the birthday song as she walked towards Edward's room.

Unaware of the conversation awaiting him when he got back, Edward rushed to the nearest bakery while talking to the cockblocker formerly known as Alice.

"Alice, what's up?"

"Hey, E. Cullen! Where were you? Rose has been trying to call your house but nobody was answering the phone. I'm not the most patient person in the world, so I told her I'd handle it and call you directly!"

"Sorry, I was busy cooking Bella's birthday breakfast while she bathed. I'm outside now, buying some butter croissants. What's going on, Alice? Shouldn't you be calling Bella?"

Bella's hyper cousin shrieked making Edward wince and hold the phone away from his ears. "I'm with my parents, my baby sister Ness, Aunt Renee and Uncle Charlie over at Rose and Emmett's house! _We're _Bella's birthday surprise!"

He might end up deaf after this phone call, but he was too happy to care. Bella missed her family so much and having them all in Seattle for her birthday would make her crazily ecstatic. "That's great! Bella will be crying her eyes out later."

"I know!" Alice giggled. "I love emotional Bella!"

_I love her, period._

Alice would freak when she found that out.

Edward heard both Bella's and Alice's parents boisterous "Hello, Edward!" in the background with Rose's stern "Get to the point, Alice!" and Ness' "I'm legal now, Edward!" He chuckled hearing Alice mock-growl. It sounded more like a meow than a growl to him.

"Fine! Grumpy Rosie strikes again. And for the record, Ness might be eighteen but she's still off-limits. Spread the word to the guys at the bar!"

"Ali! That's unfair! I'm even taller than you!"

"Alice Dwyer, get to the effin' point!"

He could picture Alice rolling her eyes. "E. Cullen? Please bring Bella to the restaurant at exactly eleven-thirty today. Don't be late!"

"Got it."

Alice shrieked again. "I'm soooo excited!" Edward had to take the phone away from his ear for a minute, wincing again. "I have to go, Ali. Please tell everyone I said hello and that I'll see you all later with the birthday girl."

"Okay! Bye-bye, E. Cullen!"

He put his cell phone back in his pocket and entered the bakery. After buying the croissants, he hurriedly walked back to their apartment, eager to be with Bella again. When he opened the door, he saw her walk out of her room wearing jeans and a red plain T-shirt, the infamous notebook tucked under her left arm. "Hey, I'm back. How was your bath?"

Bella forced a smile. "Great. It did relieve my sore muscles. Thank you."

"Was there something that bothered you? You look...I dunno, conflicted?"

"More like humiliated," she mumbled.

_Fuck, she knew I heard her! Of all the things she could figure out this fast, why not my real feelings? Play dumb, Edward. _"What-"

Bella raised her right hand to stop him from talking. "Let me say my piece first. Please."

He nodded.

"I was horny," she blurted out then face palmed. "Gah! That wasn't supposed to be the first thing I said."

Edward tried to keep a straight face. Anthony was behaving for a change.

"That twitch on the upper part of your lip? It _totally_ gave you away, buddy."

"Sorry. I would never laugh intentionally at you, Bella." He paused for a solid minute then grinned. "But you must admit the way you just said that _was_ pretty funny."

"So much for rehearsing, huh?"

"You didn't have to rehearse anything. Just be Bella and tell me what's on your mind."

"Fine."

"Fine," he mimicked, finding Bella's fidgeting adorable. _Lovable_.

Bella narrowed her eyes at him. "Don't mock me."

"I'm not." Edward wanted to pull her to him and kiss every part of her beautiful face, especially those soft, pouty lips.

_Anthony wanted to penetrate Marie and stay inside her forever._

Edward glanced at his crotch (discreetly, so as not to alert Bella), split between amusement and irritation. _Speaking in a third person now, Anthony? Seriously?_

_Anthony wants to remind his boss, Edward, that he only learned that kind of craziness from said boss – whom he believes to be cursed, by the way - in the first place. The boss named his perfect dick and talked to him...Anthony rests his case._

"Edward?"

He looked back at Bella, letting the fucker off the hook. "Yep?"

"We used both our safe words back in the bathroom. It felt awkward, and I honestly hated that."

He straightened. "I think it was bound to have some awkwardness between us, having done what we did last night. Bella, we _did_ sleep together, and however planned and expected it was, the reality of us doing something intimate when we'd always been platonic is quite daunting."

"True," Bella agreed then sighed. "We can get past the awkwardness, right? I meant what I said to you before; I would always be your best buddy. I would never let what happened last night change that."

Edward pretended to look down at the bag of croissants he bought to avoid making Bella see the frustration on his face. "Of course we will get past it," he assured her, even as he gave the bag his attention and not the too-hard-to-crack brunette beside him. "We're solid, Bella. Nothing can come between us."

_Anthony reiterates that he really thinks Edward Cullen is cursed._

_Shut the fuck up, Anthony! The mere fact that she was horny for _me_ proved something did change, you stupid dipshit!_

_Anthony applauds his boss for making a good point. The name calling hurts him, though._

"I thought you made croissants? What happened?"

"I honestly didn't know." He sighed in disappointment. "The final product tasted like crap."

"I'd still eat it."

"No. You deserve the best." He went back to looking at her.

_Hoooh boy. Here we go._ Bella swallowed hard as The Look reappeared. She took the notebook out from her arm and fanned herself, avoiding those eyes. She felt her cheeks started to redden. Fortunately for her, no tingles yet (emphasis on _yet_!). She mentally crossed her fingers. "Let's eat!"

They practically raced to the table.

Edward pointed to a stool and ordered Bella to sit when they reached the kitchen. She called him bossy, but followed his instructions anyway. She watched him fill her plate with a generous helping of her favorite omelette then add the following in succession: three pieces of bacon, 2 hash browns, a waffle and croissant.

"Everything smells and looks delicious, Edward."

"Anything for my Bella," he answered oh-so-casually while serving his own breakfast.

Bella's heart raced. She pressed her hand over it and felt the crazy thudding underneath her palm. When Edward turned and approached her with the plates, she quickly dropped her hand. _I didn't know if I should be glad that instead of Marie tingling, it's my heart that's reacting for a change. If only I could figure out why, though._

"Dig in."

She thanked Edward again and attacked her plate with enthusiasm. "Oh God. Everything tastes sooo good!" Bella went all out with her appreciative moans and groans.

_Anthony wishes to be deaf right now. If his boss was not cursed, then Anthony wouldn't be feeling this hopeless. He would be getting some, instead._

Edward shifted uncomfortably on the stool. His dick was hard and thought he was beyond lame. _How fucked up is my life that even my own dick has lost faith in me already?_ He watched Bella eat and felt the dark cloud that hovered around his pessimistic dick envelope him as well. _Great. Now _I'm_ starting to lose faith in me._

"Edward?"

"Hmm?" He couldn't even bring himself to look at Bella.

"I've been thinking."

No. No. Nononono...He opened then closed his mouth, too petrified to say anything.

"I wanted to thank you, erm, in my own little way."

That made him look up. "You didn't have to–"

"Oh yes, I do," Bella interrupted him. "Sorry to cut you off, but I really want to thank you in a way that will bring you pleasure."

Then she blushed.

Anthony perked up. Waaaay up. _That sounds promising, boss._

At least the fucker was back to talking in first person. "What do you mean?"

Bella took a sip from her glass of orange juice (freshly squeezed just how she liked it – one of the many things she really had to thank the man in front of her for) then cleared her throat. "Last night, you didn't let me give you a blowjob 'cause you said the night was about me."

_Oh yeah, boss. Realllly promising._

Edward concentrated on breathing evenly.

She put the glass down then dropped the bomb. "So I've decided to give you one this morning. As a tangible thank you - not just mere words. At first, I considered giving you a new pair of your favorite Nike's, but I scratched that idea since you still have five extra pairs of those, all new and unused. Then I thought about cooking for you, but nixed it 'cause all we ever do is eat. Doing your laundry for a week popped into my mind, but I'm sure you wouldn't think that's fair. So, after a couple of nays, I had a yay. '_Why not give Edward a blowjob?'_ I asked myself. '_He didn't get one last night 'cause he was being selfless. He deserves it.' _So, blowjob it is."

_Bella Swan: coolest babe ever! Yes, we are gonna get some after all, boss!_

"Are you," he cleared his throat, "sure?"

Coolest-birthday-celebrant-ever nodded. "Wait a minute," she said then flipped open her notebook, looked for a certain page, found it, read it in a hurry, grinned mostly to herself then closed it – all in a span of a minute. "I'm ready!"

_Me too!_

Edward scolded his eager dick. _Shouldn't you be disappointed that you won't have Marie?_

_I'm seizing the moment, boss. Besides, my Marie was sore. She deserves a break. Bella's pouty mouth on the other hand..._

What a thoughtful fucker his dick had become. All thoughts left Edward when he saw Bella walk towards him and then kneel. _Fuck!_ "Umm..."

Bella was even smiling when she reached to unbuckle his belt. "Spread your legs, Edward."

That was the four sexiest words he'd ever heard.

_What about "Fuck-me-now-Edward?" That's hotter and more to the point, boss._

Edward expelled a breath then parted his legs, welcoming Bella who moved between them. When he saw her unbutton his jeans, his heartbeat went nuts.

_Another set of sexy words, boss? _Do-me-any-way-you-want_. Six words though._

The sound of his zipper going down made Edward hiss.

_And booyah, what about_ Suck-my-clit_? That was sexy too._

"Raise your, erm, butt a little. I'm pulling down your jeans and boxers."

That shut Anthony up.

His dick went mute but made sure he greeted Bella with a bang. The fucker almost poked her eye when released from its confines.

"Whoa, Anthony!" Bella smiled up at Edward. "I think he's excited."

Edward's ears reddened. "Tell me about it."

Soft, gentle hands held Anthony loosely as Bella leaned down and dropped a kiss on the tip. Just a peck, then Edward heard her talk to his dick. _"_Hey you_. Marie and I wanted to thank you for last night. You've done so well, _Anthony_."_

The fucker hardened and lengthened even more, then twitched and jerked in Bella's loose hold. That was Anthony preening in dickspeak.

Then it began.

Edward closed his eyes the moment he felt Bella's moist tongue touch Anthony's head, swirling it around twice before licking the underside. He could feel her producing more spit as she repeated the licking and swirling of her tongue on and around Anthony. She bathed his rigid prick with it, making Anthony glisten. When she released his dick with a pop, he heard her mutter "the wetter, the better" under her breath before repeating everything again.

Edward moaned. _Best fucking advice ever. Thank you for remembering that, Bella._

He opened his eyes when, for the second time around, Bella stopped licking Anthony. He saw her looking intently at what she was doing, the tip of her tongue peeking out of her almost-parted mouth in concentration. Edward wanted to suck that tongue so badly he felt like he was going to go crazy. He got distracted when he saw Bella form a ring with her thumb and forefinger at the base of his over-excited dick and gently pull it upward until she reached the tip, doing this twisting move that made him close his eyes – especially when he felt her swipe his piss slit with her pinkie for a second − before going downward again. She did all this while her left hand massaged his balls. He grunted. _My woman did some fucking research._

"Do you like that, Edward?"

"Uhhh...yep..." So _fucking much!_

"Thank you, Cosmo." Bella mumbled to herself, watching Edward's facial expressions. _Don't fail me now, jaw exercises._ She wrapped both her hands back around Anthony's base then leaned closer, tonguing the itty, bitty slit that the magazine said was really sensitive and could make men's toes curl when stimulated.

"Oh fucking God!" He gave out loud gasps. "God! Fucking...God!"

_Please forgive Edward's blasphemy. _She swirled her tongue over Anthony's helmet head then put it inside her mouth and sucked. She tasted Edward's bitter yet sweet essence and she licked and sucked some more as her hand continued with the up and down motion to the rest of Anthony that was left untouched by her tongue. The other hand relentlessly fondled his balls.

Then without warning, Bella simultaneously licked and sucked his piss slit which was filled with pre-cum, firmly but gently stroked his dick and did a two-finger massage to that skin between his ass and balls and Edward exploded.

"Jesus fucking Christ! Bella!"

He squeezed his eyes shut as blinding light filled his vision while his body felt like he was floating.

_Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck!_

Caught off-guard, Bella opened her mouth wider to accommodate the load of jizz that Edward released. She couldn't believe the amount he produced, that however quickly she swallowed, there was just too much coming. She cupped a hand below her chin and let the excess that she failed to swallow dribble into it. She looked around for something to wipe her face with and saw a towel by the sink, but it was too far to reach, and if she insisted in getting it, Anthony would be pulled out off her mouth. _Not good, considering he's still spewing his manly juice._ So with a shrug, she quickly wiped her hand on her jeans before putting it back under her chin as she continued to swallow.

Edward rested his elbows on his thighs after his mind-numbing orgasm, rubbing his face with a hand before focusing on Bella who remained kneeling in front of him. She was wiping her mouth with the back of her hand then reached for the table napkin to do the same with her hands.

"God, I love you."

Bella looked up from her focused wiping to stare quizzically at him.

Edward's calming heart began to race once again. Did he say that too soon? He straightened but did not avert his eyes, waiting for Bella's response.

She burst out laughing and went back to cleaning her hand.

Edward lowered his eyes and pulled up his boxers and jeans, zipped and buttoned it. _She laughed? Fuck my life, Anthony might be right. I _am_ cursed._

"Funny what an orgasm can do to a person. One second you're cursing God, the next you're proclaiming your love for the big G." She grinned at him. "Real powerful stuff, huh? Almost like having a religious experience, right, Edward? Dude, I completely understand. I've seen Him myself, hanging out with these famous dead people last night."

Edward gaped incredulously at her. _Seriously? There's no way in hell she could be this dense! Un-fucking-believable! Don't take my words too literally, Bella! _

He would think about her visions of God while peaking (and seeing famous dead people with Him as well) when he had more time. That was kind of too big to dwell on this morning. Then again, it was Bella and it didn't seem so weird anymore. _She fucking thought I told _God_ I love him after an intense orgasm. The scary part about that? She truly believed it, knowing I'm not religious at all. _

Bella stood up still chuckling. She patted his head like he was a fucking five-year-old then walked towards the sink to wash her hands and face. When she was done, he watched her take a plate and fill it with food then went back to the breakfast bar. "You want some?"

He frowned, trying to figure out the inner workings of Bella's mind. "No." _She really didn't get it. _"Bella?"

"Yep?"

"I love you."

Miss Oblivious made an _awwww face_. "I love you too, buddy. I read about that finger-pressing-the-perineum thing and I really wanted to do it to you last night. Good thing I was able to do it now."

He breathed through his nose. "Uh, thanks. That was intense." _Why can't I get through to her? I told her I love her and she moved the topic to something about sex. Fuck! This isn't about sex, Bella. Far from it!_

Bella beamed. "I could tell! I was about to do the deep-throat thing when you came. Too bad, I didn't get to see if those jaw exercises I'd been doing worked. It made me wonder about the reliability of doing Kegel exercises, to be honest. Would it really make a difference?"

_She did these things and talks about Kegel exercises but she can't process a simple and direct _I love you_? What the fuck?_

"You should try it, Edward." His main source of frustration and madness took a bite of bacon, looking thoughtful.

"Try what?"

"Kegel exercises. They're not strictly for women, you know."

"Why the fu-, uh, _hell_ should I try that?"

Bella swallowed her food before answering. "Well, Kegel exercises apparently help men make their erections firmer. Oh yeah, it could also help them last longer, too. Help gain control over their ejaculation or something."

She was so matter-of-fact.

Edward was beyond frustrated.

Anthony was offended. _I didn't need help from Mr. Kegel, boss! That man had some twisted ego if he seriously believed that _he _could teach _me _about how to improve my sexual performance. I can get firmly erect all by myself! And I certainly didn't need him controlling when I'll explode! That's harassment and taking my freedom away! I'll fight him to the death! Bring it on, Kegel! Ha!_

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose._ Anthony just declared war against Mr. Kegel._ He shook his head and tried to clear all the craziness. As he watched Bella resumed eating in silence, he finally admitted to himself that he couldn't do this alone.

He needed reinforcements.

_Now, who could help me crack the Bella code?_


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Twi-related. Sad really :) I'm just a Twi fan and writes nutty versions of Stephenie Meyer's characters.

Thanks to **IZZZYY**, my uh-mazing and ever-so-patient beta. She rocks my world with her editing skills. I'm in awe of her tbh. Love yah D :)

Sorry this chapter took so long. A bandaged right hand and crazy-hectic RL kicked me in the butt. It's hard to type with just your left hand available *whines* To those who pm-ed me and asked if I'm abandoning BHT, the answer is NO. I love BHT and I will finish it. And I love you guys too much to leave you hanging.

* * *

I have Twi buddies who love BHT as much as I do. So this chapter is for **Jecks** and **Anne**. No need for the cough syrup anymore guys, lol.

* * *

Chapter 14

"I wonder if Rose included stuffed pork tenderloin with mushroom sauce in the buffet? Oh, and the three-cheese ravioli..."

Edward hmm-ed but said nothing, his mind elsewhere. He still couldn't move past the reality of telling Bella he loved her and her totally misunderstanding. _She fucking didn't get it!_ He scowled at the road ahead and his fingers tightened around the steering wheel. The universe must have hated his cockiness and punished him for thinking that making Bella love him would be as easy as pie.

_Damn you, Anthony._

He had totally crossed the sane threshold, and he fucking didn't care. He blamed himself, his cocky cock, the fucking street sign that they'd just passed...hell, he fucking blamed God for ruining his moment with Bella.

_Huh? What did I do, boss? _

He mentally snarled at his oh-so-innocent dick. Yes, he could fucking snarl at whomever he wanted, even if it was his own fucking penis! _You're a dick with a mind of your own, and your fucking mind is a sewer system! It's so dirty that I'm being punished for it, you bastard! I can't catch a break because of you, asshole!_

Anthony was completely offended. _I _am_ cocky, 'cause I have the perfect cock to prove it! Don't go hatin' on me now, boss. I'm not the one who's cursed here, so don't go blamin' me. And please spare me the name calling - I'm a sensitive dude._

"I also hope Emmett has grilled an elephant. That would be so tasty. The trunk alone would be so filling. Yum, yum, right, Edward?"

_I am not fucking cursed, fucker_! "Yeah," Edward agreed, still too busy mentally fuming at his dick to catch what was being said. "Yum, yum."

Bella snorted and pinched his arm. The pain completely took the heat off of Anthony and made Edward transfer his attention to the most frustrating woman he had ever encountered in his life. "Ouch! What the hell, Bella? That hurt!"

_See, boss? _Cursed_. I rest my case._

"I should be the one saying '_What the heck, Edward_?' I told you I'd be feasting on an elephant and you agreed. Yum, yum my tush! What's going on? You've been too quiet since we finished eating breakfast. Actually, you looked like someone died this morning. Then, right at this moment, you resemble Hannibal Lecter. Actually, make that a _starving_ Hannibal Lecter with a dash of Russell Crowe holding a telephone."

_That's what happens to a man who wears his heart on his sleeve, proclaims his love and gets squat in return_, Edward thought, blowing at the area Bella pinched to try to get rid of the stinging. "Nothing's going on." _That's the fucking problem. _With the rate things were going, either he'd be picking a fight or he'd be eating ice cream (he's a _carnivore_, not a cannibal) by his pathetic-and-lonesome self while listening to Barry Manilow songs. Then again, Bella hated violence and he didn't want to disappoint her. So, eating ice cream by his lonesome self and listening to Barry Manilow songs was his only real choice.

"_Even now"_ on repeat. Or maybe "_Weekend In New England"_?

_Boss, it's creepy that you know these songs._

Edward mentally scoffed._ You're one to talk, bitch. You fucking love Marvin Gaye! Besides, Barry Manilow captured heartbreak better than any other singer. _

_Someone just turned into a drama queen. Need your tiara and sash, boss?_

_Fuck you! An ex-girlfriend told me that._

_Right, an _ex-girlfriend_. Got it. See me do a wink, wink, nudge, nudge, boss, 'cause I totally believe you...not._

Bella reached out and rubbed a finger over his "injured" skin and sighed. "Sorry for pinching you. Did it really hurt?"

Taking a pause from his argument with Anthony, Edward grumbled "a bit."

She clucked her tongue and leaned down to gently kiss the very spot she pinched. "There. No more boo-boos."

_Boss, if you set that up, wow. You just earned my full adulation, even knowing you have Barry Manilow on repeat while PMS-ing. _

_She just treated me like a child, dumbass._

_Boss, this pessimistic vibe you're carrying is starting to affect my mojo. I needed positivity, man. I'll be old and wrinkly soon if you keep this 'tude up. Live in moments, dawg. Bella touched and kissed you, regardless of the reason behind it. Every mikkle mek a mukkle!_

The fucker sounded Jamaican.

_In translation: _Every little bit counts_. See, boss. I am smart, huge and perfect._

Edward shook his head as he parked the car in front of La Bella Italia. While he was frustrated, irritated and racked with hopelessness, his dick was in his own world where apparently Marvin Gaye was The Man and speaking on the third person, speaking in a Jamaican accent and hell, _speaking_, period, was normal.

_When did my life turn to this kind of fuckery?_

"Edward?"

He sighed. "Yep?" _Since I realized I'm hopelessly, unconditionally and irrevocably in love with the Most Oblivious, Densest woman in the world, that's when._

"Are you sure you're okay? 'Cause honestly, I can feel that you're not."

_Then how the fuck can you not feel what I feel, Bella? How the fuck could you have missed the meaning of my 'I love you' before?_ "Nah, don't worry about me. I'm just trying to make sense of some stuff that's been on my mind for...uh, weeks now."

Bella unbuckled her seatbelt and turned to give him a concerned look. "Do you want to talk about it?"

_Yes! Tell her _yes_, boss! This is it! This is your chance to tell her about your feelings!_

Edward looked at her, his heart starting to race. Bella looked back at him, serious and expectant. He cleared his throat. "If I do talk about it, um...erm, promise you won't lose your shit over it?"

"Does _it _involve me?"

Anthony twitched in anticipation. _Yesyesyesyes!_

"Uh, yes."

Bella nodded. "I promise I won't lose my quiddich over _it_. Whatever _it_ is."

Edward took a deep, calming breath then faced his destiny. _Cheesy, but true_. "Bella. I've been—"

The loud knocking on his side of the window not only interrupted him, but distracted Bella as well. He watched her moved her head a little to the right to see who was knocking incessantly, and then a smile appeared on her face. "It's Emmett and he looks hungry."

_This interrupt-my-moment shit is really getting old._

Anthony waved a white flag. _I'll be on shut down mode, boss. I'm too depressed to function. Well, until further notice, anyway. Over and out._

He turned and glared at Emmett as he pushed the button to open the window. Why was it when he needed a fucking minute, everybody seemed to be conspiring against it? _What the fuck?_

"_Wifey_ was getting antsy waiting for you. She's starving," his former teammate told him pointedly then smiled at Bella. "Happy birthday, Bella Mi."

Translation: Everybody was getting antsy waiting for Bella, because he was monopolizing the birthday girl. _No wonder the universe hates you so much doofus. You're one selfish prick._

Edward nodded. "Tell Rose we're coming."

"In a minute, Em. We just have to finish—"

"No, Bella. We have to go," he cut in with a resigned sigh. "We can talk about it another time."

Bella gave him a calculated look. "Are you sure?"

He unbuckled his seatbelt and exhaled. "Yep. Come on."

They both walked towards the special entrance for the VIP room, with Emmett in front of them. Bella reached out to clasp his right hand, and then squeezed it. "We'll talk about it later, Edward. I promise."

_Yep. Good luck with that ever happening. Fuck you, universe._

When Emmett opened the door, he coughed twice then glanced at Edward. Edward nodded slightly in acknowledgement and purposely walked ahead of Bella to block her from seeing the surprise, while still holding her hand. The first person he saw when he walked inside the room was Alice, who glared at him and tapped her watch for emphasis. He mouthed "sorry" at her then gently steered Bella in front of him.

"Surprise!"

The birthday girl's eyes widened as she saw her family for the first time. Her shocked eyes travelled from her bouncing and clapping cousin to her beaming parents and over to Uncle Phil and Aunt Vanessa, who were both grinning at her from ear to ear. Her other cousin, Nessie, stood next them, a guitar in her hands.

Biting her lip, her eyes went back to her smiling parents and she received a wink from her Dad. That did it. Bella burst into tears. "You're all here!" she wailed. There was a chorus of "_awwwws"_ and "_Happy Birthday Bella!_"

Rose rolled her eyes at the crying celebrant but discreetly wiped the sides of her eyes when she thought no one was looking. Beside her, Jessica, giggled.

Edward moved to stand behind Bella, putting his hands on her shoulders and squeezed them a little. Then he leaned closer and whispered "Surprise" on her left ear before dropping a quick kiss on her neck. The wailer turned to him, chin wobbling and the tears starting to flow in torrents.

"Before everyone burst into tears like Big Baby over there and drowns her with hugs and kisses, we have to first get this special number over with," Nessie announced before glaring at her older sister. "Alice forced me to do this, by the way. So if I suck, blame her."

Bella sniffed. "I love you, Ness. I'm sure you won't."

Finally Eighteen Nessie sighed. "Yeah, yeah. Sappy much?"

Edward once again whispered something into Bella's ear and they exchanged looks and smiled at each other. Using his thumb, he wiped the tears from Bella's tear-stained face and dropped another kiss, this time, on her temple.

Curious Alice narrowed her eyes.

Mischievous Rose nudged Emmett.

Desperate Jessica wondered if James was invited.

The Oblivious Oldies (Phil, Vanessa, Renee and Charlie) were too busy prepping themselves for their special number to notice anything.

Too-cool-for-this-mushiness-Nessie wished she didn't know how to play the guitar, 'cause what they were about to do was really...lame.

Tone-deaf Emmett dreaded the number, so his wife's nudges were ignored.

Nessie stepped forward and glared at her sister before slightly raising the guitar. "Let's do this."

And boy, did they do it.

Cringing, Nessie started strumming and gave Papa Swan a slight nod.

**Red-faced Charlie**:  
_I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow  
And each road leads you where you want to go._

**Teary Renee**:  
_And if you're faced with the choice and you have to choose  
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you._

**Proud of his voice Phil**:  
_And if one door opens to another door closed  
I hope you keep on walkin' til you find the window._

**Not so proud of her voice Vanessa**:  
_If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile  
But more than anything, more than anything._

**Everybody (except Wailing Bella and Amused Edward)**:  
_Our wish for you  
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to  
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small  
You never need to carry more than you can hold._

_And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to  
I hope you know everybody loves you  
And wants the same things too  
Yeah, this is our wish._

Edward closed the small gap between him and Bella and put his chin on the crying brunette's head as he started rubbing her upper arms, from shoulder to elbow and back again, offering comfort even if he was sure they were happy tears. He felt her fully lean on him, her back touching his chest, as she continued to cry/wail/sniff. "Here."

Bella took her gaze away from her wonderful family and accepted the handkerchief gratefully. "Thanks." She kissed him on the chin (the only part she could reach without standing on her tip toes) then went back to watching the Von Trapps.

**Wishing she was anywhere but here Nessie**:  
_I hope you never look back but you never forget  
All the ones who love you and the place you left._

**Resigned to doing this Rose**:  
_I hope you always forgive and you never regret  
And you help somebody every chance you get._

**Inching to know what was going on Alice**:  
_Oh, you'd find God's grace in every mistake  
And always give more than you take  
But more than anything, yeah more than anything._

**The best singer among the group and that's why she wished James was here but could substitute Edward Jessica**:  
_My wish for you  
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to  
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small  
You never need to carry more than you can hold_

_And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to  
I hope you know somebody loves you  
And wants the same things too  
Yeah, this is my wish, yeah yeah._

**Everybody (except the cozy-looking pair, according to the ever-observant Alice)**:  
_Our wish for you  
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to  
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small  
You never need to carry more than you can hold_

_And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to  
I hope you know somebody loves you  
And wants the same things too  
Yeah, this our my wish_

_(Our wish for you)  
_

**Hoping his wife would still respect him after this Emmett**:  
_This is my wish_

**Compensating Jessica**:  
_My wish for you_

**Even his balls were sweating due to nerves Emmett**:  
_I hope you know somebody loves you_

**Pushing her abundant chest forward as she looked at Edward Jessica**_:  
My wish for you_

**Glad it's over Emmett**:  
_May all your dreams stay big_

**Winking at Edward Jessica**:  
_My wish for you._

Nessie strummed the final chord and rolled her eyes at her family who clapped and hooted afterward.

Beaming proudly at her family and friends, Bella straightened and stepped away from Edward as her parents rushed towards her and enveloped their baby girl in a tight hug. Uncle Phil and Aunt Vanessa followed, and then Alice yelled "My turn, my turn, my turn!" and Bella went from hugging her Aunt to being crushed by her much-shorter-but-Hercules-incarnate cousin.

"C-can't b-breathe..."

"Sheesh Al, don't make today her last birthday," Rose snapped, pulling Miss Hercules away.

Nessie got an enthusiastic kiss on the cheek from her very impressed cousin while Jessica playfully asked Edward if he could give her one − for her effort − after hugging Bella. The buxom blond sauntered closer to him and pursed her lips suggestively.

Edward good-naturedly obliged, kissing her on the forehead then made a bee-line toward Bella. Hugs, kisses and man-hugs were showered upon him, as well. When it was Alice's turn, the petite brunette gave him a tight hug, unblinkingly gazed up at him for a full minute, glanced at Bella who was standing a few feet away from them, deep in conversation with her parents, and then went back to looking at him before he was finally released. "She's glowing."

"Who's glowing?" Warning bells started to ring in Edward's head.

"Emmett," Pixie replied sarcastically, then snorted. "_Bella_, of course."

_O-kay. Tread with caution, Edward._ "And that's a bad thing because...?"

Alice narrowed her eyes at him, reminding Edward of the look Bella gave him when he was in trouble. They shared the same chocolate-brown eyes. "She's glowing, and you're being evasive...hmm."

The _hmm_ didn't sit well with him.

"Hey, Edward! What do you think of our t-shirts? Phil came up with the song – just so you know, I did suggest "Booty Music," but they nixed it, so I was like, whatever − and Alice made the number happen, but _I_ came up with the shirts," Jessica chimed in, wiggling herself between Edward and Alice. Due to her size, Jessica could wiggle herself into most small spaces if she wanted to. Pint-sized but curvy, Bella's blond friend was merely a half-inch taller than Alice.

"Booty music?"

Enthusiastic nod. "Rose said it was a stupid idea 'cause it had no connection to Bella's birthday, etc., etc. But if you listen closely, it _does _mention 'It's your birthday' a lot of times. Hel-lo, the song even has zodiac signs!" Then, to further prove her point, the blonde started swaying from side to side and began singing. "Go, Leo. It's your birthday. Go, Virgo. It's your birthday..."

Alice hung her head. "Just focus on the t-shirt, E. Cullen."

Thankful for Jessica's presence for a change (she did distract Alice from grilling him further), Edward did give his attention to the shirt. In bold letters it stated: _Team Bella_. He chuckled, amused that he hadn't noticed it before. His eyes swept the room and saw everyone was wearing the same thing, even Charlie and Phil.

A pink personalized T-shirt with glittery wording. He had to hand it to both men – that took guts. Now, if only Emmett had worn one (skipped that privilege 'cause he was the one asked to check on them) − _that_ would be a handy material for blackmail in the future.

"Wait! There's something written on the back, too!" Jessica bragged, turning around (and jutted out her butt in the process, still swaying and humming the same song a bit). Too bad Edward's eyes were glued on what was written on the back of the shirt instead of her ass. It says: _Forevah_.

"I also came up with the words." She winked at Edward. "Team Bella, Forevah. It rhymed. Clever, huh?"

Alice muttered "Oh, brother" while Rose joined them and voiced her opinion. "Yes, soooo clever." She gave Jessica the mother of all eye rolls then faced Edward. "For the record, I only wore this fucking joke for Bella. After lunch, I'm burning it. I hate pink!"

Edward laughed at the look of pure disgust that crossed the pregnant woman's face.

"Pink is the new black, Rosalie."

"What-the-fuck-ever. I'm gonna eat."

They watched Rose waddle towards the buffet table where Bella was still chatting animatedly with her parents.

"Gosh. Good thing she's having a boy, huh?" Jessica commented with a shudder.

Edward spotted Emmett, also walking towards the buffet table, and he quickly excused himself before Alice could latch onto him again. Or worse, Jessica. But instead of approaching Emmett like he'd claimed he was going to, his feet had other ideas. He found himself standing beside Bella whose entire face lit up upon seeing him.

He wanted to kiss her right then.

Renee, who had the same hair color and eyes as her daughter, beamed at him too. "I hope our voices didn't make you lose your appetite, Edward."

He grinned. "You guys actually made me like that song. I don't usually listen to country music."

"It was all Phil. He suggested the song and we were lucky Ness knew how to play it or we were going to be stuck singing acapella." Renee shuddered then smiled at her only child. "But we'd do it, with or without accompaniment, for our baby girl here."

Bella blushed. "Mom, I'm hardly a baby anymore. I'm _twenty-five_."

Renee reached out to hug her. "You'll always be our baby."

_Baby._

Bella's eyes drifted to Edward and caught him looking at her. For some unexplainable reason, both couldn't look away. If not for Renee letting Bella go, they would continue to stare dazedly at each other.

Cheeks pinking, Bella pretended to be preoccupied with the array of food in front of her, whereas Edward went back to staring, even if the only thing he could see was Bella's back. And her shapely butt. _Now _that_ deserved some booty music._ _What about 'I like big butts and I cannot lie'? _He grinned to himself. Anthony was definitely rubbing on him.

_And we both want Bella and Marie to rub on us. Repeatedly._ He practically giggled to himself like an idiot at the naughty thought.

"You're coming with me."

_Uh-oh._ Edward felt more than saw the hand that clamped like an iron vice on his left wrist, and the next thing he knew, he was being dragged by Shorter towards the hallway leading to the bathroom.

When they were finally inside the ladies room, Alice released his wrist and glowered at him. "Bella was glowing 'cause she freaking got laid! And _you're_ evading 'cause _you _slept with _her_!"

_Alice had superpowers. Either that or she really was a 21__st__ century witch_. How she was able to deduce that, in such a short amount of time, freaked but impressed Edward. "Ali—"

"You pervert! She's a virgin and she trusted you!" Alice shrieked, tiny fists clenching on her side. "Hell, _we_ trusted you, Edward Cullen! How could you take advantage of her that way?"

"It's not—"

"Don't you even think of denying it! I've seen the way you're acting around her. You were protective before, but now you're downright creepy and possessive! What was up with the whispering, rubbing and kissing? Those moves were way too intimate even for best buddies! You did those things so unthinkingly that someone would think you've been doing it for a long, long time. Have you? And the heated looks? I wonder how the others missed the way you salivated over my cousin, ogling her ass like that, as if she's a piece of meat or something. You're disgusting!"

Edward's ears started to redden. "Now look here—"

Alice snorted. "No! _You_ look here! Bella would _never_ be the one-night-stand type. She's pure and kind and sweet and perfect! She deserves better than being someone's one-time lay and you should know that, since you've lived with her for three years! I didn't know what kind of trick you pulled to—"

"There was no fucking trick, Alice!" he yelled, interrupting Shorter's ill-placed diatribe, tired of hearing about the misconceptions. Its one thing to not catch a break and fail every single time he attempted to tell Bella his feelings, but it's another to be thought of as a manipulative dick. "I fucking love her. I fucking love Bella!"

Alice's eyes widened and her mouth opened but nothing came out. Her facial expression went from shocked to doubtful to suspicious and back to shock again.

"I'm in love with her," Edward admitted in a softer voice, fingers running over his hair. "I'm in love with Bella." He reddened. _Pussy whipped bastard._

A loud gasp punctuated his admission and both turned to see Jessica standing a few feet away, one hand still holding the door knob while the other covered her mouth. Her eyes were wide as saucers.

Edward face palmed. He went from keeping his feelings to himself to letting two people know about it in dizzying speed. And _Jessica_ as one of those two? He must really be cursed.

Snapping out of her shock, Alice groaned aloud. "Don't just stand there, Jess. Come in and close the door!"

The accidentally-added witness came in, with her eyes fixed on Edward.

"Seriously?" the researcher squeaked.

Edward sighed. What the hell? As if he could deny it now. "Seriously."

Alice whistled. "Damn. Since when?"

"Most likely the first time I saw her," he admitted, finger combing his hair. "But I just realized it weeks ago."

"Again, damn!" Alice exclaimed.

"Like I'm-so-in-love-with-Bella-I'd-probably-marry-her kind of seriously?" Jessica prodded.

"I'll marry her _today_ if she'll have me." _Wow. Shock yourself to epic proportions why don't you, Edward?_ Well, he did add _Cullen_ to Bella's name often enough. So, there's nothing remotely shocking about that anymore. "She's _it_ for me, no one else."

Dead silence. Both women too stunned to say anything. Alice was staring at him as if he'd grown another head while Jessica kept on fidgeting, too agitated with this newly-discovered information to stay put.

Edward's face and neck were all red now, partly from the intense scrutiny. Never in million years had he thought of falling helplessly in love with someone, and then have that someone's cousin and friend know about it before her.

And to reveal said feelings inside the fucking ladies room?

_I _am_ cursed._

The sound of toilet flushing sealed his acknowledged existence.

Alice glanced at Edward in alarm.

Jessica muttered "busted" in a singsong voice under her breath.

Edward was freaking out but tried to remain cool. If sweating profusely and a face that changed color from blushing red to ghostly white in seconds could be considered cool that is.

When the door to the last cubicle opened, he swallowed audibly and braced himself for the inevitable confrontation.

"I knew it!"

All three turned to see a smirking Rose walked outside the last cubicle. Edward's color went back to blushing red. He warily watched the pregnant woman wash her hands and braced himself to what was about to come.

After drying her hands, Rose faced the three of them, smirk intact. Then she pointed a finger at Edward and chuckled. "You slept with Bella. No – you actually popped her cherry. If my fucking intuition was right - which it always was, mind you − it happened last night. No wonder you were wide awake in the wee hours of the morning, getting instructions on how to bake croissants. You were on a sex high!"

"What?" Jessica exclaimed. "You fucked Bella? Dang it, I only heard the love confession."

"Shhh! Geez, Jess, lower your voice! We don't want Uncle Charlie to end up behind bars." Alice paused then grimaced. "Or my Dad for that matter. There's no way they'd be able to keep from kicking Edward's ass."

"I didn't fuck her. I _made love_ to her," Edward corrected a bit irritated.

Rose burst out laughing. "Look at Edward, turning all sappy."

Alice grinned. "Yeah, I noticed. Aww." Then she reached out and pinched Edward's left cheek.

_Fuck my life._

"Happy birthday indeed for Bella," Jessica grudgingly commented. "I love her to death but I must admit, I'm _so_ jealous right now! Talk about luck. She got _Edward Cullen_ not only in her bed, but also made him fall in love with her." The blonde face palmed. "That must be the reason why she'd been more curious lately! She asked a lot about blowjobs and sex..." She turned to smile lasciviously at Edward. "Was she _that_ good to make you all I'm-seriously-in-love-with-her-I'll-marry-her-today-if-she'll-have-me?"

All three pairs of eyes settled unblinkingly at Edward.

Could he turn any redder? _Fuck blushing_. "That's private and just between Bella and I."

Rose snorted. "Fuck privacy! Come on dude, spill!"

Alice giggled. "OMG, E. Cullen! Your face, neck and ears are super red!" And she did this clap-bounce-clap thing that didn't make sense, at least to Edward.

Edward finger-comb his hair and scowled at the three vultures.

_No, boss. They're more like The Three Hoochies._

Ironically, hearing Anthony in his head while facing his current situation relaxed Edward, instead of annoying him even more. _I thought you'd signed off._

_I tried, boss. But I couldn't possibly stay quiet while you were being surrounded by Bubbly, Snarky and Hoe. Prick and Dick stick together._

_Thanks. I think._

"This blows. We're talking to the wrong person about this!" Jessica complained.

Alice smiled. "I honestly commend Edward for refusing to talk about it."

"It may happen rarely, but I agree with Jess. This blows," Rose commented, then scowled at Edward. "You suck."

Jessica giggled. "Well, Bella obviously did both. Right, Edward?"

_Miss Hoe may be my female counterpart, boss._

The three hoochies burst out laughing when all he could do in reply, fucking pussy whipped that he was, was blush even redder.

"Imagine: if we were talking to Bella about this, Edward's size and performance would had been disclosed already. Repeatedly and oh-so-vividly. With illustrations!"

Rose high-fived Miss Hoe. "Again, I agree with you, Jess."

Alice glanced at Edward and sobered a little seeing his unamused face. "Why do I get a feeling that there's more to this than meets the eye, E. Cullen? I mean, I totally understand if you want to be all hush-hush about it. But...I dunno. Wait. What do you mean by 'I'll marry her today _if_ she'll have me' anyway? Why if?"

Edward shuffled his feet but said nothing.

Rose peered at Mr. Uncomfortable then snapped her fingers. "You haven't told Bella about your feelings!"

_Was this what they called woman's intuition? It must be if Rose could figure that out immediately. So what the fuck happened to Bella's? She probably didn't have any_. _Or at least, she doesn't have any when it was comes to me_. Edward scratched the back of his head. "Uh..."

"Why?" Jessica interjected. "You chicken or something?"

"Bad case of nerves?" Alice suggested.

"Sheer cowardice?" Rose supplied. "Lost your balls?"

Jessica giggled. "Probably lost his balls 'cause Bella sucked him dry."

_Boss, kindly inform them that your balls can still produce jizz easily. And that your recovery time after each orgasm is super fast. _I_ should know. Oh, and that you're a horndog, not a chicken._

Edward sighed. "I did tell her. Twice." _Anthony, that's TMI. Shut up._

"And?" The Three Hoochies spoke in unison then giggled at each other.

He shifted from foot to foot. This could be considered TMI as well. He expelled a breath. Then again, he did need reinforcements, and who was most suited to help him crack Bella than these three? "The first time, she wasn't able to hear it 'cause she passed out. The second time, erm, she thought I was saying I loved _God_."

Alice blinked but remained quiet.

Jessica looked one hundred percent confused.

Rose narrowed her baby blues at him. "Bella passed out; I would say from blissed-out, I-got-fucked-so-well exhaustion. Not that I'm questioning your expertise in sex. You've got quite the rep, Edward. The second part didn't make sense. At all."

Jessica nodded. "Heidi Bradley considered you a Sex God. Well, she didn't exactly say that but the implication was there. "

Anthony did the Moonwalk, proud pervert that he was.

Alice folded her arms in front of her chest and tsked at Edward. "Lesson number one, E. Cullen: proclamations of love must not be done post-orgasm! Sheesh."

Snarky and Hoe nodded in agreement.

Anthony joined them as well.

Edward felt like an idiot. A heavily outnumbered idiot. "Noted."

"And for fucks sakes, check first if the one you're proclaiming your deep abiding love to was awake."

"I know that _now_, Rose." He glared at Snarky.

"Yeah, yeah. Lay off, bitches. Give Edward the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes our emotions tend to be so overwhelming that we just have to blurt it out," Jessica defended.

"Profound." Rose sneered.

Alice sighed. "Jess is right, Rose. We need to lay off." Then she focused on Edward again. "What about the second time? Why would Bella think that?"

_I have never been this embarrassed in my entire life_. "Believe me, I couldn't figure out myself."

"What exactly did you say?"

Edward frowned at Rose. "I told her 'God, I love you'. That's it." He braced himself for the incoming insult or if not, the incessant mocking.

He did not expect the reaction he got.

Alice shrieked. "Whaaaaat!"

Jessica face palmed. "Epic fail, Bella. Epic fail."

Rose huffed. "Of all the times to lose a brain cell, Bella..."

Edward looked from one woman to another and scratched the back of his head. He watched as they exchanged looks, shook heads and converged in the middle of the room, a few feet away from him. All three formed a semi-circle and began to have a conversation that he couldn't hear. There were a lot of hand gestures from Alice and giggles from Jessica that annoyed Rose. Then the pregnant blonde started shaking her head but got shushed by diminutive Alice, making Jessica giggle even more.

_And the tribal council has convened to decide on your fate, boss._

Edward ignored Anthony. He was too busy observing how women react to things in groups, for starters. Second, he was really curious to know what they'd say after their weird "meeting." When Alice stopped gesturing wildly and faced him, he straightened and waited for the verdict.

"In a nutshell, you're in love with Bella and you tried to tell her that, but failed both times."

"Epically," Jessica chimed in.

Alice nodded in agreement. "Failed epically, yes. _Way_ epically. But first things first, and the most important if you ask me: does Bella feel the same way about you?"

Rose rolled her eyes. "Of course she does. For the fucking nth time, she does!"

Edward looked at Rose expectantly. "Really?"

Jessica grimaced. "I'm not sure about that, Rose. From what I know, Bella considers Edward to be her BFF. She's never talked about him in a romantic context. Ever."

Edward finger combed his hair. "That's depressing."

Alice tapped her chin using her index finger. "True, but that was before. She carries a different vibe now."

"Well, I hate to be the devil's advocate here, but that's probably because she got laid – and well – by him. That could just be post-orgasmic Bella," Jessica said with a shrug. "It was her first time. She had a memorable experience, thanks to Edward. You couldn't fault her for looking at him with stars in her eyes _a day after _that supposedly fantastic sex."

_Ahem. There's no _supposedly_ about it, Miss Hoe. Tell her, boss._

"You really think, after a couple of days, she'd move on and would lose the stars-in-her-eyes reaction?" Rose asked in disbelief, raising a brow at the Devil's Advocate. "Pfft! What-the-fuck-ever."

Edward felt nauseous at the discussion happening in front of him. It didn't sound good.

"Honestly? Yes. Sorry, Edward."

Alice clapped her hands to get their attention. "Well, _I_ personally think that Bella likes E. Cullen as more than a friend. It was just buried in her somewhere, too deeply buried for her to see. My cousin can be daft sometimes. I love her, but really Bella? She thought the man loved God just because he used his name and 'I love you' in the same sentence."

_You didn't know the half of it_, Edward thought.

Pixie rolled her eyes. "But I also admit, Jess has a point. Bella never did talk about him in a romantic way. And Bella cherished her virginity, big time. To lose it to someone like E. Cullen – who, judging from the way she glowed and blushed today, gave her a night and an experience to remember, well, it would be understandable to see her react that way to him." She took a significant pause. "You have to do something to get answers, and it won't be easy."

"I'll do it. I'll do anything," he replied earnestly.

Rose made a face. "I'm not a fan of this suggestion, Edward. But I was outvoted, 2 to 1."

Edward turned questioning eyes to Alice. "What exactly are you suggesting?"

Alice and Jessica exchanged looks.

"How important is sex to you, E?" Bella's cousin asked, looking a bit frantic.

Anthony twitched. _Duh. I'll say, very very important! Boss, you and __I?__ We're true blue dudes. We needed our Bella and Marie all day, every day. _Then his dick followed that prick-ish comment with an Elvis hip-gyrating move.

_Be quiet, Anthony! _"Do you really have to ask that, Alice? You saw me salivate over Bella's butt minutes ago. "

Alice took a deep breath. "Well, better put your libido in check for the next few weeks."

"Better yet, get used to blue balls for the time being," Jessica put in, giving him an apologetic smile.

"Why?" Yep. He did ask that question on a squeaky voice. Like a boy hitting puberty. He was too agitated to care anyway.

"Well, in order for you to get a solid answer to the 'Does Bella like me beyond the BFF way?' question, you have to take sex completely out of the equation. Jess could be right. There's a possibility that the reason why my cousin is looking at you differently is because she's still post-orgasmic. And trust me, post-orgasmic confessions and realizations are rarely reliable."

Edward recalled his own post-orgasmic confession and how it was misinterpreted. And how Bella admitted to herself (and Marie) that she was horny for him this morning. Horny. Just fucking horny. _Fuck. They could be on to something. _

_Horny's good, boss._

_Not if I want more, Anthony. Of course I love the fact that she wants me physically. But that's not enough. I want her to _love me_, the way I love her. I want Bella to see me as someone beyond the trusted buddy and the man who gave her mind-numbing pleasure. __I__ don't want to be stuck as that in her head. I want more._

Jessica nodded in agreement. "One time, I agreed to blow this really hairy guy, 'cause I was still in lalaland from his Grade-A pussy eating talent. But ewww, he was too hairy for my taste."

_If this planned cockblock wasn't too upsetting, I would totally give a crude comment about that, boss._

Edward expelled a breath. "So, no sex." Not that he'd be getting any to begin with. Bella asked him once. The blow job this morning was just a thank you. So, yeah, he could deal.

"Don't talk about it with her," Alice acquiescence with a nod. "Not even subtle hints. No smoldering looks, gazing, or touches like what you did earlier. And for the love of God, lust after her when she's not around! She must not sense your sexual interest for the time being, Edward."

Resigned sigh_. _"Okay."

Rose looked at him in disbelief. "You're actually agreeing to do this?"

"I didn't have much choice, Rose."

"Bullshit! You could just tell Bella directly that you're in love with her, period. Look her straight in the eye, enunciate the words 'Bella Swan, I am in love with you' and be done with it!"

_Go Snarky! Listen to her, boss! _

"And then what, Rose? We both know Bella's propensity to over think and over analyze. She'd either question the validity of that confession or chalk it up to hormones and not take it seriously. I needed to prove to her that I really am in love with her. And I need to know if she feels the same way about me, without the aspect of sex clouding her judgment." Edward turned to look inquiringly at Alice. "How do I do that? I need help, Ali."

"You just have to step up, E. Cullen."

"How?"

Jessica walked over to him and patted his back. "It's time to woo Bella, Edward."

Alice clapped-bounced-clapped cheerfully.

Jessica giggled at the dumbfounded look on Edward's face.

Rose grunted. "Good luck, blue-balled Prince Charming."

Anthony huffed and did a talk-to-the-hand gesture. _You just made Mr. Kegel looked like my best buddy, and you are now the enemy, boss._

Edward crossed his arms in front of his chest and sighed. _Great, now my own dick hates me._ _Good thing I'm getting no sex for the indefinite future then, as I wouldn't know how to explain erectile dysfunction to Bella._

_Try Viagra, man-formerly- known-as- boss. The same man I thought had my back all the time. But, alas, he agreed wholeheartedly to cockblocking. He blocked me! Willingly! It hurts, like being kicked in the nuts...my frozen nuts. __Which are now going to be blue._

_Now who's being a drama queen?_

_Pfffft._

_Anthony, it's not a permanent set up. _

_*crickets*_

Edward got offended. _Are you seriously questioning my ability to woo Bella?_

...

_Fu-_

"E. Cullen! Hey!"

Jessica giggled. "Stop looking at your crotch, Edward. A few weeks without sex won't make it shrivel up and die! You can jerk off, you know."

"Moving on..." Alice rolled her eyes. "We can talk about how you'll court Bella later, E. But right now, we really need to get back outside before anyone notices our absence. My sister, for example. Keenest kid I know."

Edward nodded. "Thanks."

Jessica high-fived him before leaving, Rose rolled her eyes at him then followed Jess, who was muttering "Go, Edward! Go, Edward," out. Alice gave him a tight hug. "I'm officially welcoming you to the Dwyer-Swan family, E. Cullen! If this wooing thing fails, knock on wood, I'll help you kidnap Bella and even organize your elopement."

Edward smiled. "Promise?"

Alice nodded enthusiastically. "Promise."

* * *

Hel-lo reinforcements. Cockblockers but reinforcements just the same :)

I want to say a big HELLO to the new readers. Welcome to the quirky world of BHT. It's all about laughter and silliness here so feel free to lol anytime.

Oh and my wonderful beta **Izzzyy** is nominated for a Golden Lemon award. Yay! Please vote for her. She's nominated under the category: Best Zombie or Horror Lemon. Here's the link.

http : / www (dot) goldenlemonawards (dot) com/nominations/best-zombie-or-horror-lemon/

Voting ends on August 30, 2010 so please vote now. Anthony wants you to :)

* * *

Songs mentioned/used in this chapter:

Even Now and Weekend In New England (both Barry M. songs, if your feeling sentimental try listening to these songs)

My Wish - Rascal Flatts

Booty Music - Git Fresh

* * *

Next chapter is Bella's bday at Edward's bar. It'll be Open Mic Night cuties so brace yourself. The entire gang will be there. Bella's girls and Edward's boys + singing = crazy night.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I don't own anything :(

My usual **THANK YOU** to the bestest and amazing-est Beta in the whole, wide world **IZZZYY**. Love you bb.

* * *

So you guys, this is not the Open-Mic Night chapter. This is more of a _Bella _chapter :) Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 15

Twenty-five.

Bella looked around and couldn't help but feel nostalgic. _I'm twenty-five today, and I'm surrounded by people who love me._ She had a lot to be thankful for, she admitted to herself, smiling widely as she watched her Dad and Uncle Phil – seated at the next table – laughing with Emmett. Nessie, her spitfire cousin (she literally had the front part of her light-brown hair colored fire-engine red), was sitting with them and from time to time would join in the conversation. Nessie was more like her Uncle Phil, tall and athletic, but there was no disguising the fact that she got her Mom's blue eyes and over-all tan. God knows Bella and Alice got the trademark Dwyer paleness.

Her eyes moved to the other part of the room where Rose and Jessica were. They looked like they'd just come from the bathroom. Both were engaged in a heated discussion, with Jessica giggling (her typical reaction to Rose's temper) and Mommy-to-be crossing her arms in front of her chest, looking annoyed. Whatever it was they were arguing about, Bella was one hundred percent sure they'd resolve it before lunch ended. Theirs was the typical love-hate relationship, but no matter how much they argued and irritated each other, they would still be friends.

The Royce King incident had cemented that.

Royce was the douche Rose was dating at that time. The same douche-bag who lived next door to Jessica. One night, Douche King had Rose over his house for a "special dinner," his attempt to impress the Chef by cooking for her. Well, that wasn't the only thing he attempted. He also tried to bed Rose and when that didn't happen, he became forceful. Thanks to the thin walls, Jessica heard the commotion and, armed with her trusty baseball bat, she did her trademark voodoo on Royce's door (a.k.a picking the lock; Jess had a PhD in petty crime) and unceremoniously barged in, shrieking "You cannot take away her freedom!" then started hitting him.

Yep, Jess had watched _Braveheart_ too many times.

When Royce was too beaten to move and after the police left, taking him with them, Rose and Jessica left his house together, went to Jessica's for coffee and discovered that they both knew Bella. The rest – as they say – was history.

_Fate and life can be a heck of a pair, _Bella thought with a fond smile. She looked for Alice and Edward, but both were missing.

"Riley asked about you the other day."

Bella mentally groaned. _Not this again_. She chose to remain quiet and give the food on her plate her undivided attention. She normally loved eating, but lately she'd really turned into a glutton. By _lately_ she meant today. It's like she was compensating. For what, she had no idea.

"He also wanted me to give you this."

A small, black velvet box came to view, complete with a small red bow on top of it.

Bella cringed. "Mom, you shouldn't encourage Riley to do stuff like...like this. I don't want anything from him."

"That would be rude, Bella. Besides, the poor guy's in love with you. Why not give him a chance?" Renee urged, waving the box in front of her face.

Bella stared at her usually-sane mother in disbelief. "Excuse me?"

Renee grinned. "You heard me."

"I heard you, yes. But understand you? No!" Bella made a face. "Eww. Mom, he's like twelve! With more money than he can handle because he's a trust fund baby. There's also the fact that he's obnoxious and don't forget, we're almost related! So again, eww!"

"He's my _godson_ so you're not related at all. And he's twenty-one, not twelve."

Bella shuddered. "Well, I don't feel that way about him. Not now, not ever. So please, Mom, just give that gift back to him. And don't push this issue. Please."

"Fine. I won't." A disappointed sigh followed Renee's remark.

"Thank you."

Vanessa, who was seated beside Bella and pretended not to be listening, leaned closer to her niece and winked. "What about Edward?"

"What _about_ Edward?" Nonchalant Bella: on. "He's my best friend." _My deflowerer. My hunky, can-multi-task-with-his-hands-tongue-and-fingers best buddy. The same buddy I gave a satisfying blowjob (judging from the amount of Edward juice I swallowed) this morning, in our kitchen. My best buddy who looked really good naked..._

Marie tingled.

_Ugh, Marie. Not now, please. Let us be slutty-horny later! I can't believe you're tingling while I'm between Mom and Aunt Van! Good God, girl, once you've tasted the forbidden fruit you've become insatiable. _

For some reason, when the word _insatiable_ came up, an image of Edward tonguing her came to mind. Naked Edward licking her. His appreciative tongue paying homage to her boobies, navel and Marie. _Especially_ Marie. In, out, and around Marie. Lapping...tasting...sucking...

Cue the blushing.

The three remaining ravioli were eaten in a New York minute.

The sisters-in-law exchanged intrigued looks.

_Uh, oh. Not good._ "I'll just go get some more ravioli." _Run, Bella, run!_

The second Bella was out of earshot, Vanessa turned to Renee and did her own version of the clap-bounce-clap-bounce (that must be where Alice got it). It was even more epic because she did it while seated. "Did she just _blush_?"

Renee giggled like a schoolgirl. "She did! Oh my God! Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Van?"

"Yes, B1. I think B2 is thinking what you're thinking." Nessie confirmed, sitting beside her own mother, chuckling. "What's going on? Happy hour al−" The ringing of her phone interrupted the rest of her sentence. Nessie turned serious. "Excuse me."

Watching the retreating back of her youngest daughter, Vanessa shook her head. "I swear to God that girl has a boyfriend already. I can feel it."

"As long as she's happy, I'm all for it," Renee quipped then glanced at her own daughter whose standing at the buffet table, picking up raviolis. "Bella, on the other hand..."

"Well, I totally understand why Bella was all 'not now, not ever' when it comes to Riley St. George. And anyway, she doesn't need a boyfriend. She has Edward," Vanessa pointed out, nodding over someone at the opposite side of the room.

Both women saw Edward and Alice emerge from the hallway leading to the bathroom, walking arm in arm and deep in conversation, headed toward one of the unoccupied tables near the room's special exit door. They watched him hold a chair for Alice before he took his own seat, facing them. Whatever it was that Alice was talking about; Edward seemed to be absorbing it. The man was listening so intently he would look confused, then doubtful, then confused again.

"I wish my Alice had her own Edward," Vanessa said, accompanied by a wistful sigh.

"Well, Bella and Edward are not boyfriend and girlfriend." The tickled-pink Renee reminded her sister-in-law, trying to sound rational.

"True, but it's hard to put a label on something as complicated as those two."

"They call each other _best buddies_."

"Who have successfully lived together for three years."

"So best buddies _and_ housemates. There, labelled."

Vanessa lifted a brow. "Phil was my best buddy. Still is, and, we've been living together for more than two decades and counting. _His_ label? Husband. _Our_ label? Married couple. Bella and Edward are far from being either of those labels, so _hello _complication."

Renee chuckled. "Good point. So, why do you think Bella blushed?"

"Maybe they both finally decided that they're meant to be together and started moving forward?" The Aunt cleared her throat. "Hopefully, they did." Then she raised both hands to show Renee her crossed fingers.

"I didn't know you're so into pairing Bella and Edward, Van."

Vanessa smiled. "Just like you, sis. The only difference between us was that _you_ pretended to push another person on Bella while _I_ just hang in the background, waiting."

Renee burst out laughing. "You got me. I like Edward. Always have."

They both turned to look at the mentioned man and exchanged knowing grins. "Who wouldn't, right?"

Renee nodded in agreement. "Right."

"What's right?" Bella asked, returning to her chair with a plateful of ravioli and munching on an asparagus wrapped in prosciutto.

"More _who _is right," Vanessa smoothly answered, standing up. "Your Mom's right – I really do need to go to the bathroom. Excuse me, ladies."

"Van, wait! I'm coming with you." Renee exclaimed, hurriedly standing up to follow her sister-in-law.

Bella watched the two older women with amusement and went back to eating. She scanned the room once again, looking for Edward and Alice, and finally saw them, five tables away. Her cousin was in her element, talking animatedly about something that was totally lost on Edward, judging from the varying expressions on his face, but one was more prevalent than the others.

He looked overwhelmed.

She chuckled to herself as she watched their interaction. Alice was being her usual I-use-my-hands-when-I-talk-while-speaking-200-words-per-minute-self, whereas Edward looked like he was watching "Lost." In_ Latin_. As Bella continued to eat and observe the two, she saw Edward motion to one of the waiters – Embry – who quickly approached him. Embry gave a nod of acknowledgment and was off to the main dining room. He came back immediately and Bella saw him give Edward a blue, pocket-sized notebook and a pen.

Her bestie promptly started writing whatever it was that Alice had been gabbing about.

_Edward was taking notes! It must have been a heck of a topic for him to resort to that. _Now_, I'm curious. _

"I think I'll burst."

Bella transferred her gaze from the two people across the room to Nessie, who joined her wearing a Mona Lisa-ish smile on her pretty face.

"Don't. I'll miss you if you do."

Nessie snorted, but her blue eyes twinkled. "I have a secret."

Bella wiggled her brows. "Care to share?"

"Promise to keep it a secret?"

"I promise." She replied solemnly.

"I mean it Bel, no sharing info with anybody. Even _Edward_."

Bella waved an asparagus in Miss Paranoid's direction. "Yes. I'll keep it to myself until the day I die." And then took a hearty bite of her vegetables.

Nessie leaned closer and whispered. "I'm in love and I have a boyfriend. Shhh."

Bella choked on the asparagus.

A coughing/wheezing fit ensued, alarming everybody. Edward went from taking notes to standing behind Bella, all-too-ready to give her the Heimlich. "Bella? Bella!" He knelt beside her and shoved a glass of water to her. "Drink this! Come on."

Nessie gaped at him in awe. "Dude. You're super fast! You even beat Dad and Uncle Charlie who were only sitting one table away!"

Bella swallowed a couple of times and accepted the glass as everybody crowded around her. "I-I'm f-fine..." she assured everybody, after drinking. She took a deep, calming breath and touched her throat. "I forgot to chew for a moment there and just swallowed a piece of asparagus. It went down the wrong way, but I'm tough. I can swallow any long stuff, properly chewed or not. My throat can handle anything."

There was a teeny, tiny pause after that announcement and then Emmett guffawed, Jessica giggled and Rose was laughing so hard, she had to have assistance sitting down beside Nessie, who joined in the laughter.

Charlie and Phil looked uneasy.

Alice was biting her lip to keep from laughing out loud.

Edward suddenly found the need to retie his shoelaces.

Bella merely looked back at them. "What? That's true. You see, I don't easily choke. I don't even have a gag ref−"

"Okay! Bella's fine." Charlie interrupted his only daughter's explanation and cut his eyes at Emmett, Rose and Jessica, and then lifted a brow at Nessie, who clamped her lips together and looked instantly contrite. "Back to your tables, people."

The group dispersed until it was only Edward who remained kneeling on Bella's left side. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yep. Thanks for dashing over here even if the situation was not really a matter of life and death," Bella answered, smiling. "How in the world did you do that anyway? You were five tables away."

Nessie nodded. "What are you, Edward, a vampire? Or are you "The Flash" masquerading as this über hot man? Either way, that was really impressive. I didn't even see you run."

_I'm just an awfully worried man pumped up by a huge amount of adrenaline_. He could never forgive himself if something bad happened to Bella when he was just a few feet away. "I heard you wheezing and I acted on impulse. Besides, I was just a couple of tables away, so it's not like I was in another room or something."

"Yeah, but still, you managed to be the first one to approach us, considering Dad and Uncle Charlie were closer."

Edward was a bit red with embarrassment. A fact that Bella noticed and, acting on her own impulse, she placed her hands on the opposite sides of Edward's face, then leaned in and gave him an Eskimo kiss. "Well, I'm just thankful that you would run that fast to help me. You're wonderful, Edward Cullen."

That made him even redder.

When Bella dropped her hands, Edward reached out to squeeze both of hers before letting them go. They exchanged smiles.

Nessie looked from Bella to Edward with a raised brow. She was about to open her mouth and say something when Alice beat her to it.

"That's what you call an adrenaline rush, baby sister. A surge of pure, unadulterated adrenaline rush," Alice quipped, tapping Edward's shoulder. "Hey, Mister I-worry-too-much, we still have a lot to cover. Come on."

The tapping felt more like open-palm punching to Edward.

"What are you discussing, anyway?" Bella inquired curiously then turned to look at Edward who stood up abruptly and moved a few steps away from her. "I saw you writing God knows what and you never do that. You're not really the note-taking type."

Edward turned to Alice.

"It's for tonight. Some last-minute details that I wanted E. Cullen to remember, so I asked him to write them down."

"Another surprise?"

"My lips are sealed, cuz. Sorry." Alice didn't sound apologetic at all.

Bella chuckled. "Okay. Alright. Whatever."

"You'll know soon enough," Edward assured the brunette and bent to kiss the top of her head. "Back to my top-secret meeting; don't forget to chew."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Yes, _Dad_. Sheesh."

Edward winked at her and for the love of God that made Bella blush. Alice gave her a knowing smirk and walked back to their table with Edward in tow. Bella saw her cousin say something to Edward that made her bestie scratch the back of his head and shrug.

"I'm not really into fluff, but you and Edward? Oh my God, you're like a happily-ever-after waiting to happen," Nessie exclaimed, looking around them then moved her chair closer to Bella.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Bella gave her cousin a curious look as the younger woman was almost sitting on her lap. They were _that_ close. And the whispering and mumbling?

"Well, you and Edward behaved like our respective parents. Except, you're just friends, not a couple. Thus, the HEA is just _waiting_ to happen."

Bella's brows knitted. "Edward and I, we resembled old married couples?"

"Yeah. You seem awfully cozy for twenty-something _buddies_," Nessie said then smirked at her cousin. "For now, anyway."

Bella blinked at her. "Again, what's that supposed to mean?"

"Bel, it'd be a show of complete and utter stupidity if you and Edward didn't end up together. And since both of you show high levels of intelligence, it's just a matter of time before you succumb to the inevitable and embrace what's bound to happen. "

Silence.

And more blinking.

Nessie patted her cousin's back. "Dwell on it if you must, Bel."

Bella turned to fully face her. "There's nothing remotely romantic between Edward and I, Ness. We put the "p" in platonic, just so you know."

_Really, Bella? Platonic? What about last night?_

_Shut up, Benedict Arnold. Shoo! Go away._

Marie tingled.

_You too, Marie Swan! Behave! _

"On the contrary, my darling, clueless cousin, the situation you're in together – and have been for the past three years – put the "p" in permanence."

Bella just gaped at her.

Nessie giggled. "Oh my God, you really need me to spell it out for you, don't you?"

"Spell _what_ out?"

Nessie raised her right hand and started ticking her fingers one-by-one. "You live together, you co-own a business together, you're both unconsciously touchy-feely with each other as if you've been dating since you were in diapers, and you both wear this pathetically dopey expression on your face whenever you look at each other. And let's not forget, you unobtrusively watch each other in every possible opportunity." Then she wiggled her fingers with a grin. "There − the top 5 reasons why you guys put the "p" in permanence."

Bella gazed at the wiggly fingers, swallowed hard then look away.

Her eyes met Edward's.

He looked concerned.

She shrugged. Nonchalant Bella was still on.

He tilted his head. _What's going on?_

She gave him a forced smile. _Nothing._

He gave her the one-brow lift. _Try again. That's not the right answer._

She shook her head and looked away.

For the first time, in the history of their silent conversations, she looked away. Bella felt like crying. That had never happened before. _What the heck is going on?_ With no clear answers on the horizon, she popped ravioli in her mouth and chewed.

And took a bite on the asparagus then chewed.

_Don't forget to chew._

"Ness..."

"Yeah?"

Bella blinked back tears as she continued to chew. "I'm confused."

Nessie sighed and put an arm around her. "I'm sorry. I guess, it's human nature to want people to be as giddy as you when you're, you know, in love."

Bella turned to focus on Nessie and her cousin's personal revelations, a reprieve from her own inner turmoil. "Why keep it a secret?"

"I still want to bask in it. _Alone_."

"That sounds reasonable," Bella agreed. "Some info about him would be nice, though."

Nessie chuckled. "I call him N. He's cute, same age as I am. He totally gets me, like we can talk just by merely looking at each other. He makes me feel like a girl and I've embraced that, surprise, surprise. He's the only person who can make me blush just by looking at me. Also, my girly-parts tingle whenever he's around."

_What she said sounds so familiar_. Bella dropped the remaining asparagus she was holding. "A-and you think you're, erm, _in love_ with him because of those things?"

"I _know_ I'm in love with him, _in spite_ of those things," Nessie corrected with a smile. "You know I'm notoriously single-minded, right? I have my entire college life planned out. I didn't include a boyfriend, 'cause honestly, nobody interested me. And I considered guys, love and feelings as complications. But then, N came along and suddenly, I'm interested enough to set aside my plans and go out. He makes me feel crazy; varying emotions that normally I'd scoff about. Suddenly, having these complications doesn't feel so bad after all."

Bella quietly reached for the dropped asparagus again.

"I'm planning to give him my V-card as his birthday present, next month."

Alarm bells started to ring in Bella's head. "Are you sure? That's a big deal, Ness."

"Really, really sure. This may sound archaic but I saved myself for someone who deserved me. And in my heart of hearts, it screams N. I didn't save it just to settle, Bel. I saved it because it's important to me and I want N to have it. He's my one and only choice."

Bella's heart started to race. Remnants of her past conversations with Edward and Marie entered her mind.

"_The truth of the matter, Bella, is that however willing you are right now, the fact is you remained a virgin because you treasured it so much. You are not a one-night stand and never will be."  
_

"_Well, I trust Edward and I'm one hundred percent sure that he'll take good care of us. I chose well, Marie. I would never let a so-and-so penis enter and penetrate you."_

She chose well. She didn't settle. She saved herself for someone worthy.

_Did it mean that in my heart of hearts, it screamed..._Edward_? Really? Seriously? _Edward?

Bella turned to look at Nessie in wonder. "You really know what you're talking about." _Unlike me, who's ever confused__._

Her cousin grinned. "Of course. I have a brain and a heart. Lucky for me, they co-exist harmoniously."

_Yep. There goes my problem. Mine were at odds with each other._ "How old are you again? You're way too mature to be eighteen."

"Nah. I had tons of time to wait for Mr. Right, so when he came, I just had to grab him. I'm seizing the moment."

Tons of time to wait for Mr. Right.

_Like twenty-four-years tons of time?_ Bella swallowed audibly. "I'm happy for you, Ness. Really."

"I know." Nessie smiled at her. She smiled back. "Ugh, this may be too girly but what the hell." The next thing Bella knew, she was being engulfed in a warm hug.

Bella couldn't resist teasing. "Aww. A hug initiated by you. I love N already!"

"Shut up."

"I thought we'd had enough with the hugs already," Renee joked, sliding back to her seat.

Van eyed the two younger women in front of her as she sat down. "What was up with the whispering?"

"Bel and I were having our own little tête-à-tête, Mom. You should know something about that kind of conversation; you and Aunt Renee spent an awfully long time inside the bathroom doing just that," Ness replied, releasing Bella.

"Too clever for your own good, Renesmee Dwyer," Vanessa grumbled. "You have too much of your Grandma Esmeralda in you for my peace of mind. Come on; let's attack the dessert section of that buffet table."

Renee was still chuckling when Mother and Daughter left the table, bickering like children. "Hey, you got something in your mind? I'm not used to Quiet Bella."

"Just thinking."

"About what?"

Bella shrugged. "Some stuff clever Nessie brought up."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Just stuff."

Renee burst out laughing. "This is the most insightful conversation I ever had with you, Bella."

Bella glanced at her Mom and bit her lip. "Mom?"

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Hypothetically, if a person became someone...more for you, umm, erm, although you're not really sure that that person's more, you know..." and Bella trailed off, fortunately for Renee.

_What?_ "Sweetie, you lost me at _more_."

"Okay, Mom, this is just a hypothetical situation. Please bear that in mind." Bella took a deep, calming breath before continuing. "Babe A and Babe B had been friends for years. They both loved each other but that was just, you know, platonic love. Then something happened and Babe A found herself having more than platonic thoughts for Babe B. Although to be honest, Babe A had yet to really acknowledge if she now sees Babe B as someone more than a friend. And if that was the case, if Babe A really developed a more-than-platonic feelings for Babe B, how in the world should she handle it?"

Renee prayed to God and to every deity within hearing that she would maintain a straight face while answering her daughter's "hypothetical" question (even if she was _this_ close to imitating Vanessa's clap-bounce-clap thing). She cleared her throat and pretended to be casually cool about everything. "Well, Babe A must first make sure of her feelings for Babe B. She needs to decide if it's really love or just some fleeting emotion that came out as a direct reaction to what triggered the un-platonic thoughts."

She watched Bella's reaction closely. She saw her daughter gave a discreet glance at Edward's direction then wrinkled her nose. "And then?"

"And then, if she's really, truly and completely sure that she loves Babe B more than a friend, Babe A has to decide what she wants to do with that realization."

Bella hmm-ed but said nothing.

Renee saw Vanessa and Nessie approaching their table, carrying plates and laughing. She gave her sister-in-law a look and Vanessa motioned her daughter to join the next table instead. She gratefully mouthed "thank you" and went back to looking at her own daughter. Babe A was gazing at nothing in particular, she would mutter under her breath and then roll her eyes and its back to muttering again. _This will take time, better get myself a dessert. Or two._

When she returned to their table, holding a plate with slices of chocolate cake and tiramisu on it, Bella was still at it: gazing-at-nothing/muttering/rolling her eyes. She took a peek at Edward's direction and caught him frowning at her daughter. Alice was talking his ears off and yet, his entire focus was at the woman five tables away.

The same woman presently contemplating the Saga of Babe A and Babe B.

Renee smiled and started humming as she gave the cake and tiramisu her attention. Babe A and Babe B better settle everything pronto. She couldn't wait to see her brown haired, green eyed or messy bronze-haired, brown-eyed grandbabies. And oh yes, twins run in their family.

_Nana Renee. _

She giddily chewed. _I love the sound of that. I should give Nana Esme a call._

_

* * *

__

* * *

_

_

* * *

Special shout-out to the lovely ladies of **Twilight FanFic Addicts **over at Facebook specially **Ms. Em** :) Thank you for reading BHT and for posting links everytime I update. I'm actually a member. Just a lurking member. Too shy to do anything else :)_

_

* * *

_

_Hello to my crazy chuva friends: Mwabee, JeccaChu (hahaha...), K and Anne. To Mona who made me lol with her reviews. To the ever-supportive and understanding Trina. And a hug to each and everyone who reviewed, put BHT on alert and my fave thing: putting me on your fave author alert *giddy* Love you guys!_

_

* * *

Next chapter is the promised Open-Mic Night.  
_


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight.

* * *

So I reposted today, big time *rolls eyes*. It was just supposed to be for the first eight (8) chapters that were unedited but then I'm an idiot and I messed everything up :( My ever patient beta, volunteered to clean up my mess (that's why I love her so effin much!) so for now, kindly ignore the fact that chapter 1 had a chapter 8 title. That's all me. Now you know why BHT was only posted here, I didn't know how to post this story to other sites. So I'm sorry for flooding your inbox with alerts upon alerts upon alerts. It will never happen again *crosses fingers*

* * *

This update was made possible by my super fast beta. So to Speedy Izzzyy (don't hate me for calling you this), THANK YOU! She's also my source of info for all the liquor references, so a double thank you to you Iz. You're awesome :) Enjoy this update everyone! *hugs*

* * *

Chapter 16

_What was up with Bella? What did Ness tell her? What did they talk about? Why was she so distracted this afternoon? _Edward ran a hand over his face in exasperation. _Fuck this._ _I'm back to having_ _unanswered questions again. On top of that, I've got this fuckery to deal with. _He glared at the little blue notebook and opened it in annoyance. The title mocked him in bold letters.

**COURTSHIP: BELWARD STYLE**

_1. Impress her with a new skill._

_2. Be spontaneously sweet._

_3. Reveal one personal thing she didn't know about you._

_4. Make her feel special by doing something you don't or won't normally do, but will, just because she says so._

_5. Show her you remember the little things by surprising her with one of her guilty pleasures that most people don't know about._

Mr. Frustrated closed the notebook and cussed under his breath. _I am way over my head with this courtship thing._ _How in the world can I fucking do these things without Bella thinking I'm doing them because I'm her best buddy? And frankly, some of the suggestions look familiar. Number three, for instance. Bella knows almost everything about me. _He took a deep breath. _Well, okay, Bella still has no idea what really happened between me and my parents,_ _but that's something I want to spare her from. However shitty my relationship is with the good old Doc and Mrs. Happy Homemaker, Bella likes them a lot. And the feeling was very mutual. Go figure._

"Woman trouble?" asked an amused voice in front of him.

Edward grunted.

"_Definitely _woman trouble," Tyler Crowley cheerfully concluded. "Why not swing the other way, Edward? We're more fun and there'll be no more woman trouble for you...if you know what I mean."

Insert wink, double nudge and another wink here.

Edward looked up. "Hmm." He regarded his bartender with open curiosity. "How did you turn into a bisexual, anyway?"

Tyler paused from wiping a wine glass and gave him a calculating look. "I'm _gay_, Edward, not bisexual."

"Oh. Right. Sorry, "He blinked. "So, how did you turn into a homosexual?"

"How did I _turn_ into a homo?"

"I mean, what made you gay?" Edward clarified, straightening from his hunched position.

"What _made_ me gay?"

Edward nodded, a bit confused about why his bartender felt the need to repeat his questions.

Tyler dropped the small towel he was holding on the counter, placed the wine glass none-too-gently beside it then crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I was bitten."

_Huh?_ "What?"

"I was bitten," the bartender reiterated, narrowing his eyes at Edward. "It happened during my freshman year in college. I was alone and heading back to my dorm – from a study session at the library with some friends – when suddenly this crazy looking homo jumped in front of me. I was taken by surprise; I didn't expect him to appear like that! The next thing I knew, he was standing behind me, breathing down my neck. Just when I thought he was going to bite me there, he leaned lower and bit me on my left butt cheek instead. I was wearing jeans, but somehow this Superhomo's bite still stung. Oddly enough though, I could feel the imprint of Superhomo's teeth in my butt cheek, but when I checked it later, there were no bite marks at all. Weird, right? So anyway, I tried fighting him off, but he disappeared just as quickly as he'd come. The attack was kind of traumatic for me, but I did my best to move on and not think about it anymore. I thought I was okay, but then after a couple of weeks, I started noticing changes in me. At first, these changes were subtle: the urge to color-coordinate my clothes and shoes, the uncontrollable need to braid my roommate's girlfriend's hair, the desire to put flowers in my dorm room, which I arranged myself. Sometimes I even clipped them into my hair then took pictures of myself, 'cause I looked _mighty fine_ with flowers on my head. There's also the unconscious way I added a sway to my hips when I walked that did wonders for emphasizing my bubble butt. Kim Kardashian who?" Tyler paused to turn sideways and spanked said bubble butt once in front of Edward.

"Then these urges turned intense. I started craving silk boxer shorts until I found myself standing in front of Victoria's Secret, buying a dozen silk _panties_. Panties! Ohhhh Eeeem Geeee! But I couldn't stop myself; it felt like I needed those panties to live. It was also during that time I discovered how using mascara made my eyelashes appear spectacularly long and thick. But what _really_ sealed the deal for me and confirmed that I was gay was when I found myself jacking off five times a day to a Johnny Depp poster. Or Daniel Craig, whoever was available at the time the need to beat off hit me."

Tyler paused to give Edward an enquiring look. "So what do you think? Want to become one of us? I am now capable of _turning _a straight man queer since I've successfully _turned_ three people already. I actually won a hair dryer for that accomplishment."

Jasper, who was standing a few feet away, cleared his throat. "Ty..."

"I'll just be at the opposite side of the bar, Jazzy, filing my nails." With a flick of his imaginary long hair, the affronted bartender walked away.

"Way to offend, dude."

"I didn't do it on purpose." Edward answered, irritably. "I never meant to insult him. I don't even know how I offended him in the first place."

Jasper shook his head. "Do yourself a favor and stop asking Ty dumb questions about his sexual orientation. And you owe him an apology."

"Later," Edward answered absent-mindedly, glancing at the bar's entrance then at his watch, and then back at the door.

"Is Bella here yet?"

"Why? Are you that anxious to see her?"

"Stop scowling at me, man. I told you already, I will not pursue whatever feelings I may have for her out of respect for you."

"So you still have feelings for Bella."

Jasper sighed. "I like her. _Everybody_ likes Bella. Well, with the exception of your long line of ex-girlfriends, minus Heidi, that is."

Edward eyed him in suspicion but said nothing.

"Never mind," Jasper muttered. "Her group just arrived. There's Rose and Em."

Edward's eyes immediately went to the bar's entrance where Felix DuGray stood, arms crossed, looking every bit as intimidating as he was. Rose was there, shrugging off her coat and giving it to Emmett to reveal a black dress that made her look like she was only on her first trimester of pregnancy. The husband and wife high-fived Felix in greeting before walking away. Behind the McCartys, laughing for whatever reason, was Jessica, who wore a red sleeveless dress that ended just a few inches above her knee. It looked kind of tame compared to her usual choice. The blonde, in turn, winked flirtatiously at Felix before following Rose and Em.

His heart promptly skipped a beat seeing Bella walk in with Alice.

Anthony twitched in acknowledgment, but refused to say anything. His dick had been in mute mode since the bathroom incident with the Three Hoochies that afternoon. Anthony was stubbornly giving him the silent treatment, proving that the prick was indeed _that_ upset with him.

"Damn. Bella looks hot."

Edward growled at Jasper's awed comment, but his eyes didn't leave Bella. He saw her introduce Felix to Alice, who waved cheerily at the bouncer. Then Felix said something to Bella that made her strike a ridiculous pose with her hands on each side of her waist, an obvious attempt to do her own version of the infamous Blue Steel that made Alice and Felix burst out laughing. _Fuck that dress. I'll strangle Bubbly, Snarky and Hoe with my bare hands for making my Bella wear _that_ tonight._

The three crazies had taken Bella to a "girl's afternoon out" as Jessica called it. Apparently, Alice had scheduled a spa appointment for them, which included full-body massages, waxing (Bella had visibly paled hearing that), mani/pedis, and whatever other stuff women do on their "spa days." Charlie, Renee, Phil, Vanessa and Nessie had left for Forks after lunch. They would be back tomorrow. Phil had joked that they would only cramp their styles if the oldies (as Bella's uncle called him, his wife and the Swans) attend tonight's "shindig."

Nessie was forced to leave with them at Alice's insistence.

_No wonder Nessie wasn't invited. The three hoochies planned to slut up Bella._ Edward eyed her and the erection-magnet dress she was wearing with disdain. It was sparkly, it was extremely short and it was strapless. The tops of Bella's breasts were visible for every pervert to ogle.

And his bar was Perv Central.

_Dammit to hell! _"Look away, Jasper. Just look away," he snarled, his fists opening and closing as if itching to punch someone. _Try everyone with a dick, gay or otherwise. _Edward took his eyes off Bella for a second and scoured the premises. James and his band were on stage, supposedly doing a sound check, but they were all frozen on the spot – gawking like idiots – in Bella's direction.

Mike Newton, his DJ, was at The Mez, the DJ booth, an area a few feet higher than the stage and enclosed by glass. However, instead of warming up, which was his usual M.O, Mike was holding his headset inches away from his right ear and was staring unblinkingly at, _again_, Bella.

And don't get him started about the wait staff. His head waiter, Ben, the same Ben who had been celibate since God knows when thanks to his girlfriend Angela's decision to not put out, stood in the middle of the round tables a few feet away from the entrance door, mouth gaping open. Behind him, Garrett and Benjamin, also known as Ben 2.0, completely forgot about the tables they were supposedly wiping as they mimicked their head waiter's mouth-gaping-open-struck-dumb-drooling-over-Bella expression.

Jaw clenching in irritation, Edward looked behind him to see Jasper swallowing repeatedly while his gaze was still fixated on Bella, and Tyler, who seemed to have forgotten his bad mood, joined them and started snapping his fingers then yelled out "Damn B, you look sizzling, girl!" Sam, his other bartender, materialized from out of nowhere and offered a very enthusiastic-sounding wolf whistle.

_Why did I hire an all-male staff again? _Edward frowned. _Brilliant marketing move, my ass._

Alice bounced in front of him, throwing a curious glance at Jasper. "Hi, E. Cullen!" She was wearing a dark blue dress that fit her like a glove, yet she somehow made it look classy, not slutty.

Before Edward could snarl a comeback, Bella was already there, standing beside her cousin. She grinned at the calls of "Happy Birthday!" across the room, waved at the guys on stage, even Mike, nodded hello to Ben, Garrett and Ben 2.0, and even reached out to hug Tyler. She gave Sam a two-finger salute while still hugging Ty. Edward narrowed his eyes at the expanse of skin that showed when she did that. The bar that separated the bartenders from the customers was a bit higher than most, and for Bella's height she needed to rise in tip toe just to be able to reach Tyler. Pair that up with her extending her arms and that pulled the hem of her already short dress even higher. If not for the tightness at the butt area..._fuck, I'm getting a hard-on just by thinking this_...she would be showing whatever she was wearing underneath. Which brought two major facts out in the open, well, at least to Edward's keenly perverted mind.

1. There were no visible panty lines.

2. Bella hated wearing thongs. She'd rather go commando than...

_Jesus Christ, she's not wearing anything under that fucking dress!_

Anthony twitched. _Twice_.

He moved slightly behind the brunette to cover the vision from the others, in case these perverts put two and two together and guessed that Bella wasn't wearing any underwear tonight. Not that they knew about her hatred for thongs − that info was for him and him alone... He shook his head and crossed his arms in front of his chest as he glared at each and everyone inside the bar, including the three hoochies and Emmett, who looked extremely entertained.

"Happy birthday, Bella." Jasper was about to reach out and hug the celebrant himself, but Edward's throat-clearing made him pat Bella on the shoulder instead.

"Thanks Jasper."

When Bella turned and faced Edward, he scowled at her. "Hey, grumpy."

"I'm not grumpy."

"Oh, so that's a happy Edward mentality you're projecting now? All scowly and huffy? _That's_ a happy Edward?"

Grumpy Edward didn't respond. He just stood there, arms crossed, and looking pointedly at Bella who just gazed back at him.

Shaking her head, Rose waddled to the nearest stool and sat down. "I'm too thirsty for this. Hey Ty, I was told tonight was open bar _and_ open mic night. Can I enjoy the open bar part right now?"

Tyler smirked. "Sure, Rose. I've got the right drink for you, Momma."

Alice turned to smile up at Jasper. "Hi, I'm Alice. We talked on the phone this afternoon?"

Jasper nodded. "Yeah. You're the one who reminded me a hundred times about extra microphones and spent a very long time telling me where to put the finger foods and birthday cake, considering you haven't even been here before." The irritation in his voice was obvious, coupled with the fact that Alice's smile was not returned.

_Now, I'm intrigued._ "I'm kinda ODD about things like that." Alice offered by way of explanation, batting her eyelashes a little.

"You mean O-C-D." The tall blonde looked completely disgusted by that mistake.

_He didn't find it cute, which was a first. That usually earned a short laugh and a flirty correction! Damn, this hottie is tough to crack. _"Oh, yeah, OCD. That's what I meant."

"Right." That was definitely a patronizing tone he used. "Anyway, about the food and the cake, Ben, our head waiter, will be the one to assist you. If you'll excuse me, I have other things to do." And he was gone.

Alice was left, confused as hell. _What did I do? Why the instant dislike?_

"If your name isn't Bella, Jasper won't give you the time of day."

Bubbly lost a little of her bubbliness. "What do you mean, Jess?"

"I used to stalk him. I mean, could you blame me? That man, with his blonde hair, blue eyes, Texas twang...he's delicious! But he never, ever gave me the time of day. He told me he wasn't interested. I guess he dated a couple of times, but nobody really made him commit. Oh, and he's a bit friendly with Rose, but there's no denying that he's _super_ nice to Bella."

Alice moved closer to Jessica then whispered, "Super nice like, he-wants-to-date-Bella super nice?"

Jess nodded and whispered back, "He never admitted it, but he gave her these looks when he thought no one was watching. Back then, I was a bit addicted, so I observed and watched him a lot. He could be really reserved and detached, but when Bella was there, he was open and they'd laugh a lot."

Both turned to look discreetly at Edward and Bella who still stood eyeing each other without exchanging any words.

"Most likely he's not pursuing Bella _because _of Edward," Alice mumbled.

"That makes perfect sense." Jessica agreed then she straightened and winked at Alice. "Speaking of pursuing, I have James to pester."

Alice giggled, wished her good luck and shooed the petite blonde away.

"Hey Ali, I ordered a Cosmo for you. Come here and meet Tyler and Sam, the best fucking bartenders in town!" Rose called, raising a martini glass and waggling her eyebrows suggestively.

With a shrug, Alice went and joined Rose and Emmett at the bar. _This is _so_ not the end, Jasper. I'll get back at you. Soon!_ She gave the "best bartenders in town" a friendly smile.

"My eyes are starting to get dry."

Edward huffed. "Nobody asked you to not blink."

"I thought that was the game we were playing, since you weren't blinking at all."

He snorted. "We're not playing anything, Bella."

"Dang it! I really thought we were having a staring contest or something."

"Happy Birthday, Bellaaaaaaaaa!"

The non-game forgotten, both turned to check who was the bearer of such screamy greeting, and Bella promptly burst out laughing when she saw who it was. "Aro! You're here! Wow, I'm so honored!"

Arogenius Volturi (he claimed his parents were mentally unstable when they named him, and then changed his story. Once they let him have it for sullying their good names, he told the truth – they were just a pair of sentimental idiots who merged the place where he was born, the Airport Reservation Office, with the name of the private jet his grandfather owned in an effort to commemorate his badly-timed entrance in the world) was the notoriously eccentric owner of Volturi Publishing, the company that published all of Bella's books. Aro was the one who believed in her and had made an offer on her very first manuscript when no one else would give her a chance. She had been with them for three years now, and was happy and content.

Aro was known to live like a hermit ever since his wife had died two years ago. He seldom went outside his home and more or less left the overall handling of the business to his only daughter, Jane. His son, and Jane's twin, Alec, sometimes helped out in Marketing and PR but he was more inclined to do "field work" of discovering new writers. Or, on rare occasions, book tours like he'd done with Bella.

"Thank you, Aro," Bella exclaimed as she hugged her boss tightly.

"For my favorite author? Anytime, darling. Anytime."

"Happy birthday Is!" Jane was next, kissing Bella on both cheeks. "You look absolutely amazing. I love the dress!"

"Thanks, Jay. This is all Alice, Rose and Jessica. I have no say whatsoever in how I look tonight."

_The three hoochies are definitely going down_, Edward thought irritably.

"Finally, my turn." Alec joked with a grin then reached out to squeeze one of Bella's hands. "Happy birthday, beautiful Is."

Edward frowned at the hand-squeeze, the nickname with the compliment, and the way the bastard said it in a breathy voice. He especially hated the way the fucker's eyes travelled from Bella's hair down to her feet. _She's mine, fucktard!_ Mentally, Alec Volturi was already sprawled on the floor, passed out with a black-eye and a bruised cheek courtesy of Edward's fist.

Bella squeezed his hand back then let go, smiling at Alec. "I can't believe the Volturi family is here! I feel so special."

"You _are _special." Alec stated clearly and surely, giving her an intense look.

Jane mock-coughed then mumbled "subtle" at her twin.

Aro smirked.

The People In The Know (A.K.A. two hoochies, amused husband of a hoochie and three Masen's employees who were watching the scene with avid interest) all turned to look at Edward.

"Sheesh. Thanks." Bella said, obviously embarrassed by the compliment and uncomfortable with Alec's laser-beam stare, taking a few steps backward until she felt Edward's body heat, which somehow relaxed her. She turned to smile at her very own safety blanket, in hunkified and yummified form, and linked an arm around his.

The People In The Know exchanged secret smiles. Alice in particular started bouncing on her stool.

"Edward generously closed Masen's for my birthday and proclaimed tonight as open bar slash open mic night, so be sure to drink to your heart's content and sing until you lose your voices."

"The song you perform MUST be Bella-related, though," Alice quipped, still bouncing.

"Thank God for the open bar then," Jane replied, laughing. "I'll need some major liquid courage."

On cue, Ben appeared and ushered the Volturi to their table and asked for their preferred drinks. When they were gone, Bella turned to Edward and grimaced. "Dude, what was up with Alec?"

"Blame the dress." Edward answered gruffly. In all honesty, it wasn't really the dress but Bella herself. Alec had been carrying a torch since that sorry excuse for a road trip last year. It was so _obvious._ A man wouldn't spend that much time planning a road trip if there was no hidden agenda. _Of course there was. The fucktard wanted alone time with my woman. Hell freezes over before I let _that_ happen. _

Bella looked down at herself in surprise. "Why? Alice said this is from a very famous designer."

"Well, for one thing, this famous designer forgot to use more fabric. Hello, boobies." And to prove his point, Edward eyed the tops of her breasts in exaggerated lewdness.

Marie tingled.

Bella blushed. "Don't be crude, Crudeface." She raised her right hand and covered Edward's eyes.

"I will have my hands full warding off perverts tonight," Edward predicted then removed the hand that was covering his eyes. "Or, I can make everybody wear blindfolds and call it a party theme or something."

"Lame." Bella rolled her eyes. "Dude, these people are our _friends_. They will not look at me like that!"

Edward gave her an incredulous look. "Seriously? Have you seen yourself, Bella? All that creamy skin, long legs, cleavage and hell, even your freaking collar bone looks hot! _You_ are hot! Anybody with a dick will appreciate your beauty and effortless sexiness, Bella. Friends or not, as long as they've got eyes, they'll acknowledge it. Masen's is definitely Perv Central tonight, because of _you_."

Bella grew silent then blushed some more. "Even, erm, _you_?"

Edward hesitated for a full minute then nodded. "Let's just say, I'm the _king_ of the Perv Pack."

Behind them Rose let out an uncharacteristically cheerful "Hooraaay" while Emmett giggled like a pre-schooler being tickled nonstop. Alice pretended she wasn't eavesdropping, but for someone who supposedly wasn't listening, and the one who suggested to Edward to lay-off from giving any sexual innuendos, her ear to ear grin and bouncing said otherwise.

Bella glanced at them in confusion, ignoring the way her heart fluttered hearing Edward admit how she looked tonight affected him, especially knowing it was enough to make him think perverted thoughts!

_Me likey pervy Eddie!_

Bella ignored her ever-impudent brain. _I promised myself I wouldn't dwell about Babe A and Babe B tonight. Maybe later, when I'm in bed and alone, but not now. God, not now! _"What was that 'hooray' for, Rose?"

"She's just giddy, 'cause I brought her another glass of my irresistible Shirley Temple," Tyler answered for the pregnant woman, who raised her glass in agreement. "And I may be gay but I do acknowledge your _effortless sexiness_, B."

"Forget about private conversations, huh?" Bella joked good-naturedly.

"Sorry, too juicy to pass up. Want the same drink I made for Rose? It's alcohol-free so you're safe."

"Okay." Bella agreed, disentangling her arm from Edward's to sit beside Alice. "Thanks, Ty."

Edward, in turn, sat beside her. "Tell me when you feel cold so I can give you my jacket."

Marie tingled again. _The offer was not even remotely sexual, Marie. Sheesh. You're turning into the queen of the Perv Pack, little missy! _"Okay. But I have my own–"

"But my jacket's closer." Edward interrupted her with a wave of his hand.

"Fine, _Dad_."

"Good, _Mom_."

Jasper grinned at the exchange as he sat on the stool beside Edward. He was about to tease Dad and Mom when someone announced Bella's name behind them, just a decibel or two lower than Aro's previous greeting.

"Bella Marie Swan!"

Everyone seated at the bar gave the latest guest a look. He was a tall – around six foot five, an inch taller than Felix – and enormously muscular Native American, grinning at Bella. He-Man had long, black hair, super white teeth and a brown skin that emphasized the whiteness of those teeth even more.

_Not gonna lie_, Jasper thought, _the dude makes me want to stay away from whitening toothpaste from now on. Creepy._

"Jacob! I'm so happy you're here!" Bella exclaimed, beaming.

_No freaking way!_ _Of all the possible coincidences...Geez. _Jasper glanced at the man beside him in concern and saw Edward's entire face, neck and ears started to redden. _Shit._

Besides the reddening, Edward's fists, placed on top of the bar, were clenched so tightly the knuckles had turned white. He was also trembling with barely concealed anger.

Edward, in Jasper's opinion, looked like he was only three seconds away from transforming into the Incredible Hulk.

_This is bad. Really bad._


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight. I'm just fan :)

* * *

This chapter made my super amazing beta **Izzzyy** (thanks bb, I know ur super busy and this was a mofo chapter to edit) squee so I hope it'll have the same effect on you guys. I have some important a/n below so "see" u guys there. Read and enjoy ch 17 first.

* * *

For **Mwabee**. This chapter is for you :) Squee and Yaaay all the way peborit, haha...

* * *

Chapter 17

_I need to calm down. _Unclench fist.

_No, I don't. _Clench fist. Grit teeth. Kill Jacob with his bare hands.

_Yes, I do. Bella hates violence. _He is not killing anybody.

"_You'll see her in a relationship with a man named Jacob who'll sweep her off her feet and take her away."_

_Over my dead body!_ _Nobody will take Bella away from me!_ Edward glared at Jasper. "You just used a random name, huh? There's no real Jacob, huh? What the fuck, Jasper? He looks pretty real to me!"

And pretty-real Jacob was presently hugging Bella so tightly she was raised a few inches from the floor. Her entire scantily-clad body was enveloped by the blindingly white-teethed He-Man. That did it. Edward saw red. It was one thing to let Alec's hand-squeeze-breathy-corny-line pass, but this? This was definitely unacceptable! He snarled, growled and without any hesitation pulled a Brad-Pitt-as-Achilles move on the unsuspecting Jacob.

Translation: to avoid hitting Bella, Edward jumped, zeroed in on the particular body part he'd hit then punched Jacob square in the face. Not yet satisfied with that, he then channelled Bruce Lee and karate-chopped Jacob's neck, which was open for his assault.

Complete with an impassioned "Yaaaa!"

Jacob let go of Bella with a yelp and staggered backward clutching the side of his neck with his left hand. His right hand went straight to the punched side of his face. He then hit a table and went sprawling on the floor amidst shrieks from the women who witnessed the action-packed scene, including Bella, and a chorus of "what the hell?" from the men, excluding Aro, who was so impressed with Edward he started clapping.

"Oh my God! Jake! Are you okay, honey?" A heavily-pregnant woman, who rivalled Rose in size, waddled towards the barely moving man on the floor. By some form of miracle, she was able to sit down on the floor without anyone's help. Cradling Jacob's head in her lap, Preggers Number Two looked up and glared at Edward. "You bastard! What was that for? My husband didn't do anything to you, you piece of shit!"

_Edward is so fucked_, Jasper thought, face palming.

_What?_

Bella turned to scowl at Edward. "Edward Anthony Masen Cullen! What the heck possessed you to attack Jacob? What is wrong with you? God!"

Alice, Jessica and the two Bens helped Jacob and his wife stand up. Jacob looked confused as he struggled to sit up. Wifey looked positively murderous, and her intended victim, Edward, was just a few feet away.

Bella in turn stayed beside Edward and angrily reached for his hand. "Jasper, I need an ice pack for this. Please, umm..." She was too upset to finish the sentence.

Jasper nodded in understanding and left to get it. Jessica fidgeted behind Jacob then raised her cell phone. "Should I call a doctor?"

Jacob cleared his throat. "No. I'm okay. Nothing an ice pack and a stiff drink can't fix."

"Are you sure, Jake?" Bella asked in concern. "You looked out of it for a minute there."

"Yeah, I'm sure. It was more of shock than anything, although that was some solid punch." Jacob eyed his assailant warily. "I used to have your posters on my wall. I was a huge fan. I just didn't expect our first meeting would be, well, like this."

_Now I feel really bad_ _and stupid_. Edward sighed. "Um, I'm sorry man. I honestly thought..." he paused then finger combed his hair with his free hand, thoroughly embarrassed.

Jacob gave him a look, glanced at Bella and then back at him again, eyes widening a little in understanding. "Oh. No, no, _no_. Bella and I were childhood friends; she's three years older than me so she kinda acted more like an older sister. God knows I didn't need another one; I have two already." He paused and smiled at Bella fondly. "But we did get along well. We used to make mud pies together and played hide and seek. But that's pure friendship – there's nothing romantic between us. I'm actually married and expecting a son." He turned to gaze lovingly at the pregnant woman beside him.

"I'm his wife, Leah Black. Excuse me if I'm not as gracious as my husband tonight. You sick fu—"

"Leah," Jacob interrupted and gave his wife a look that immediately shut her up.

Jasper returned with two ice packs and gave one to Edward and the other to Jacob. An uncomfortable silence followed. Bella was too annoyed to say anything. Edward was feeling like the biggest douche bag in the world. Jacob and Leah were whispering to each other about God-knows-what. The entire work staff went back to their usual posts. The rest of the guests crowded around the bar to get fresh drinks. The three Volturi went back to their table and chatted, with Alec glancing at Bella and Edward from time to time.

"Here. Drink this to calm yourself." Tyler said giving Edward a bottle of Speights, which was his favorite beer, then turned to Bella and raised her untouched glass. "Take a sip. Come on. I'll send Jacob and Leah their drinks. Cheer up. It's your birthday, sweetie, and this is your party!"

Bella forced a smile and dutifully took a sip. _Nice_. She took a longer drink the second time around.

"Did I just ruin your birthday?" _Fuck._

Bella glanced at Jacob and then turned to face Edward. "No."

"I'm sorry."

"I know you are."

"What can I do to make it up to you, Bella?"

She sighed. "You don't have to make it up to _me._ You should apologize again to Jacob _and_ Leah. Then, promise me you will never resort to any kind of violence unless it really is necessary."

Edward nodded solemnly. "I promise."

They gazed at each other for a couple of minutes before a new distraction forced them to break the eye contact. The distraction was a vision in designer jeans, a pink sleeveless ruffled top and white jacket.

"Happy birthday, Bella."

"Gorgeous!"

Heidi smiled sheepishly at them. "I crashed your party, sorry."

"Pfft! You're always welcome!" Bella exclaimed and stood up to give Edward's ex a hug. "I really thought you were in Paris, but I'm _so_ glad you're here."

Heidi hugged her back. "I chartered a plane. I'll fly back on Sunday. I really wanted to be here."

Bella grinned up at her. "_Now_, I feel _extremely_ special. Thank you!"

The Super-Ex giggled. "Silly Bella, of course you're special! Edward here is so cra−" A large hand covered her mouth in a flash.

Both Heidi and Bella turned to look at Edward in surprise.

"Oh my God, Edward, what has gotten into you tonight? First, you assaulted my friend and now you're being rude to Heidi! Dude, please stop attacking my guests!"

Edward's face was boiling red when he removed his hand, throwing Heidi a desperate look. _I am having a bad day. I should just go find a rock and crawl under it or something. _"Erm, sorry."

"I think you need more beer, Edward," Tyler commented, serving him another bottle.

Edward self-consciously cleared his throat. "Are you trying to get me drunk, Ty?"

"I think you'd be more sober when you're intoxicated, if that makes any sense."

"It doesn't."

"Well, I've seen drunk Edward, and he was giggly and chatty. I'm pretty sure we prefer _that_ version of you tonight to whatever jerk-thing you've got going on, so just freaking relax and drink your beer," Tyler persisted, pushing the bottle in front of him.

"Can I have one? I'm awfully thirsty."

Tyler turned to give the model a surprised look. "_You_ want _beer_?"

"Yes."

"But...but...I can give you something else! Wine, Cosmo, Apple Martini, Vodka Cranberry...anything else _but_ beer!"

"Nah. Beer is fine," Heidi assured the bartender with a nod.

"Why, Ty? What's wrong with Gorgeous drinking beer?" Bella asked curiously.

"Let me guess, he thinks just because I'm a model, I automatically drink something more...hmm, _sophisticated_."

Tyler gave Edward a look then sighed. "Your gay misconceptions rubbed off on me and have made me develop my own supermodel assumptions. Sorry, Heidi, I really thought you'd go for something different."

"It's okay. No harm done."

"Heidi!"

"Hey, Alice."

Bella gaped at the two women in surprise. "You two know each other?"

"I actually heard about this party from your cousin," Heidi replied, smiling at Alice.

"How?"

"We met last Tuesday at this party hosted by a mutual acquaintance. I was there to represent my boss, while Heidi was there as one of the esteemed guests," Alice explained then giggled. "The same esteemed guest who punched an equally esteemed guest in the face before leaving the party with _my_ coat. So I followed her out and demanded she give it back. We ended up drinking café crème in this cute little coffee shop and we talked for hours." Bubbly turned to grin at Heidi. "I knew she dated E. Cullen and she loved my designs, so we chatted for a long, long time."

Edward gave his ex an amused look. "_You_ punched someone?"

"Guys, what is up with all the hostility? Please stop punching people!" Bella grimaced.

Totally ignoring the glass provided by Tyler, Heidi took a swig of beer straight from the bottle and leaned on one of the stools nearest to her before answering. "He totally deserved it."

Bella gasped. "_He_? Gorgeous, you punched a 'he?'"

"Demetri Caius, President and CEO of Elite Models. He was the one who said 'hi' to Heidi's fist that night," Alice confirmed with another giggle. "He was this ultra smooth, ultra suave man, but the expression on his face when Heidi socked him...gosh. It was so funny!"

Heidi smirked. "As I said, the bastard deserved it."

Bella and Edward exchanged looks. _Interesting._

"What did he do to you, anyway?" Edward asked.

"Nothing." Heidi said the word with such venom it raised Bella's curiosity to another level. This was the first time she'd seen Heidi angry. _Demetri Caius. Hmm. Who are you, and what did you do to my friend to make her pull a Laila Ali on you?_

"Oh, the food and cake are here! Excuse me guys, I have some arranging to do," Alice excitedly said, motioning Ben to come help her as she approached the delivery guys standing beside Felix.

"I need to freshen up. Be back in a minute." Heidi took a final, long gulp of beer and put the empty bottle on the bar before walking towards the bathroom.

Bella took a sip on her drink and pondered. "I wonder who Demetri Caius is."

"Someone Sugar Ray Heidi punched in the face?" Edward suggested, chuckling.

"Ha ha, I'm Edward. I amuse myself way too much." Bella rolled her eyes. "You're one to talk; you had your own Sugar Ray moment tonight, Cullen."

They both glanced at Jacob who was, at the moment, kissing his pregnant wife. He appeared to be feeling better already. Sure there was a faint bruise on his face where Edward punched him and that the ice pack was presently resting on the neck that wannabe Bruce Lee had karate-chopped, but he was also actively tongue-fucking his wife, which implied he was fine. Bella quickly looked away seeing the couple's public display of affection, while Edward continued to look on, a bit envious at how freely the couple were expressing themselves. He wistfully sighed.

"What was that for?"

"What was _what _for?"

"The sigh. That has got to be the most depressing sigh I've ever heard."

"I'm just tired." _Tired of holding off emotions, of having unanswered questions and I'm especially tired of this entire situation. I should have what Jacob has with Leah. I should have the freedom to kiss Bella whenever I want to. To show everyone that she fucking belongs to me and only me. To claim her as mine in front of all the fuckers out there, Alec Volturi included. If Bella could only figure out everything without the time-consuming courtship_...Edward stopped, feeling guilty with his impatience._ It's not that Bella doesn't deserve wooing. I could still do all that stuff that the Three Hoochies suggested when we're a couple. It just feels like I'm out of time here. My gut tells me that I need to do something now. Like, right fucking now!_

_That's not your gut speaking, boss. That's _me_._

Edward exhaled loudly. _I don't think it'll sit well with Bella to know that the reason for my impatience is my dick. Didn't you get the memo? Sex, off. Romance, on. What happened to mute mode, anyway?_

_Mute mode was not working for me. I'm way too smart and involved to keep quiet. Clearly, prick and dick must work hand in hand to solve this seemingly cursed situation, boss. I shake, you bake. Or you shake, I bake. Whatever. Us dudes need to stick together._

"Edward?"

Momentarily shoving away his internal conversation with Anthony, Edward shifted to focus on Bella. "Yep?"

"Remember this afternoon, when we were still inside your car and you wanted to talk to me about something? I even promised that I won't lose my quiddich over it, whatever _it_ may be. You did confirm that _it_ involved _me_." Bella bit her lip. "If that's what's making you all depressed and sigh-y or violent and rude, I demand to know it now so we can resolve it."

_Seize the moment, boss. It's time. Besides, I don't enjoy self-imposed celibacy. I'm too potent for that._

"What about your party?"

Bella looked around and shrugged. "Alice is still fixing the food, and I'm pretty sure not everyone's here yet. Jess tends to get extremely excited when hosting a party so she over-invites people, and your staff is doing great serving the ones that are here. We have time to talk. Come on." She stood up.

"Where are we going?"

"To your office. Duh," Bella answered, reaching out to clasp his hand in hers and started pulling him toward their destination.

The people they passed either ignored them – _yeah right, highly doubtful, _Edward thought – or in Rose's case, gave him two-thumbs up and a smirk. But before they could enter the entryway behind the bar that would lead them to the office and the stairs (the only access to the second floor), Edward stopped walking and cleared his throat.

_I totally blame Rose's smirk for this._ "Excuse me!" he yelled, making everyone turn and look at him. "Attention, please! Bella and I will just be in my office. With the exception of Masen's suddenly going up in flames, we would truly appreciate it if nobody disturbs us while we're in there." He punctuated his announcement with a crooked grin.

_Score! You're the man, boss. You're the man!_

Behind him, Bella blushed from the tips of her hair down to her toes. _I'm not sure if that's possible, really, but it sure feels like it._ "Cut it out, Edward Cullen!" she hissed. "Guys," she called out in the loudest voice she could manage, "he's kissing...wait, what? No! I mean, he's _kidding_! K-I-D-D-I-N-G. He's kidding, you know, joking around. Gah!"

Everybody burst out laughing except Alec, who looked irritated.

"We know, Bella. W-E-K-N-O-W. We know!" Jessica yelled back, giggling.

Edward winked at the group before pulling Bella away. When they were safely inside the office, Bella let go of the hand she was holding and glared at Mr. Obnoxious. "What the heck was that about?"

"That was me claiming my Bella time."

"But did you have to be an incorrigible brat doing it?" She lifted a brow to emphasize her annoyance.

Edward pretended to think things over then smirked. "No. But seeing Alec's face when I did it was fun."

"Alec? You hate him now or something?"

"Hate is such a strong word." He shrugged. "I just don't like him."

"Why?"

Another über-casual shrug. "He likes you and looks at you as if he can't wait to take you to bed and devour you all night." _Delusional fucker. As if I'd let that happen. _

"No way!"

"Yes way."

Bella frowned at him. "Really?"

"Really."

"Ew. I mean, no. God, no."

That made Edward's night a whole lot better. He grinned. "Alec's not your type then?"

Bella made a face. "I never considered him in that context. Sure, he's a friend, but beyond that...no."

Anthony was passing cigars to his imaginary dick-friends.

"It's funny how we've lived together for three years and I don't know what your type is."

A fleeting image of a naked Edward _flexing_ came to Bella's mind and she blushed.

"Whoa, you're blushing, Bella Swan. Come on, spill!"

"Shut up."

"I am one hundred percent sure a naughty thought entered your usually pure as the driven snow mind, so come off it, Bella. What made you blush?"

"Edward, we came here to talk about what was bugging you, not – I repeat, _not_ – to aggravate me! So if there's someone who'll do some spilling, that's _you_!" Miss Red-faced retorted.

_My name wouldn't be Anthony if I let that particular statement pass, boss. The word _spilling_, ooohhhh – It has so much potential. I'd like to spill something inside Marie...yeah, baby. Uh-huh. I am Anthony Cullen and I'm one mean jizz machine._

Edward mentally rolled his eyes at his perverted dick. "About the 'talk,' can I take a rain check on that? I'll tell you, I promise, but not tonight."

"Why? We have time, Edward."

_Because the three hoochies are right − you deserve to be wooed_. "Knowing your inclination to over think and over analyze, if I tell you now, then that's all you'd think about the entire time you're supposedly celebrating. I want you to enjoy tonight, Bella."

Bella fixed him a look then sighed. "Okay, but we _will_ talk about this...this...whatever _this_ is, soon, Edward. I mean it. Soon!"

"Soon." He affirmed.

"Let's go back outside then."

"In a minute. I want to give you your present first," Edward said, winking as he walked towards his table to retrieve the gift.

"Present?" Bella made an odd, protesting grunt. "Edward, you already gave me a present when you spent last night taking care of me! And let's not forget this morning: the bath and the elaborate breakfast. Then on a Friday night – _Friday night!_ – you closed Masen's just to host an open bar party for me. I mean, God, you've done a lot already!"

"Nah." Edward shrugged; waving off Bella's protests as he took a box from one of his table's locked drawers and walked back to her. Grinning, he gave the box to her. "Happy birthday." _I love you._

Grudgingly accepting it, Bella opened the box and promptly burst out laughing. "Oh my God, I love this!"

"Now we'll match," Edward said, watching her take the black Nike sneakers out of the box.

Bella looked up at him and grinned. "We'll be like twins or something."

_Or a cheesy but happy couple. _"There's one more gift inside."

Bella put the sneakers on the floor and went back to checking the box. Sure enough, there was one more item in there. She picked it up and chuckled at the familiar-looking shirt. "A Stoli shirt! Now I have two–"

"Nope, I'm taking back the old one," Edward corrected.

"But I've worn that a lot of times already!" Bella cringed. "I haven't even washed it for days."

_My shirt with Bella's natural scent...Fuck. I'm getting that shirt ASAP_. "I don't care."

"So stubborn," the brunette grumbled. "Fine, I'll return that shirt after I've washed it."

"Don't bother, I want it unwashed anyway."

Bella gaped at him. "Seriously?"

He nodded.

"Why?"

"Because."

_Grr_. "Because what?"

He gave her a sleazy smile. "Because wearing an unwashed shirt is a fetish of mine. Just imagine, your scent and my scent, combining..." He wiggled his brows suggestively.

"Edward! Ew."

He laughed. "I'm K-I-D-D-I-N-G! Geez." _Not really._

"I don't like you so much when you're this immature," Bella coldly told him then bent to pick up the sneakers.

_Booobies alert!_

Edward shook his head in disgust. _Do you really have to state the obvious, Anthony?_

_Booobies!_

Anthony was definitely in another dimension/time zone/planet. Soon he'd be clicking glasses with little green men. That or he'd be skateboarding with Marty McFly. Either way, the dickhead would be nom nom nom-ing over Bella's breasts.

"Just leave the box here, Bella. I don't want the others to see it."

"Okay," Birthday girl agreed and left the box on top of Edward's table.

Together they rejoined the group and mingled, seeing that the number of people had doubled during their absence. Bella was hugged, praised –for the dress and her upswept 'do – and greeted over and over by friends from work. Edward stood patiently behind the birthday girl, so in turn, he was hugged, praised –for Masen's and his generosity tonight – and greeted hello by Bella's "peepz."

But one was far friendlier than the others.

Bella racked her brain, trying to attach a name to the stunning redhead who had been giving Edward her undivided attention, but came up with nothing. _She's definitely not a member of my peepz. _The brunette's eyes zeroed in on Miss Congeniality's hand as it continued to cling on Edward's right arm. _Red finger nails, red hair, red lipstick, red blouse...I'm seeing red. _

Bella's tummy ached.

She excused herself from the group – which Edward and Miss Red were technically a part of, but they seemed to be in their own bubble or something – and walked away. Jessica immediately joined her, and together they settled at the table designated for the celebrant.

The special table, which could seat twelve people, was strategically placed in the middle of the sunken dance floor, just a few feet away from the stage, and one could hardly miss it since it was the only table there.

"I can't believe Victoria Horne is flirting with Edward. Did she even give you a 'happy birthday?'"

Victoria Horne.

_Nope. I don't know her._ "Calm down, Jess. Yes, she did greet me and she seemed nice." _For about five seconds, and then she completely ignored me and focused on Edward_. _But at least she greeted me._ "Who is she? This is the first time I've seen her. Ever."

Jessica scooted closer to her. "She's Alec's latest discovery, and she writes...wait for it..._erotica_."

Bella couldn't speak for a full minute. She had no idea Volturi Publishing had expanded into that genre. Sure the company published children's books, cooking and recipe books, romance novels, etc. etc…but _erotica?_

Jessica nodded seriously. "I heard Alec convinced both his Dad and twin that there's a market for that. Honestly, I agree. The porn industry is doing so, so well. I should know; I'm one of the industry's avid supporters." She said that in complete seriousness too.

"So in short, Victoria is the newest addition to our family." And she already had her eyes set on Edward.

Jessica frowned. "Not if she keeps flirting with Edward."

"She can do whatever she wants. Edward's free as a bird." _Tummy, please stop aching._

The researcher kept her mouth shut even though it was really, really hard. _I know something! _She mentally screamed. Jessica thanked God that Alice, Heidi, Rose, Emmett and the Blacks chose that moment to join them. If not, she definitely would have tattled Edward's secret.

"Hello everyone."

Jessica shrieked and yelled a "hello back at ya, Big Daddy James!" Beside her, Bella chuckled.

"Gee, Jess, enthused much?" Alice giggled, Rose snorted, Emmett winced, and Heidi and the Blacks were amused.

"I'm just supportive of my man." Jessica shrugged and introduced herself to Heidi before giving her attention back to her "man."

Bella also introduced Jacob and Leah to her friends. Alice glowered at Jacob when he ruffled her hair. "Jake! Don't mess with my hair!" she grumbled and self-consciously fixed it with her fingers when Jasper appeared and sat beside Emmett. _Dammit._ "We're no longer nine and five!"

"But look at you, Ali. You still looked like a nine-year-old," Jacob teased.

"And _you_ still think like a five year old!" Alice retorted, glaring.

"Are they always like this?" Leah asked Bella with a smile as the two continued bickering.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Always. They rub each other the wrong way every single time."

Jacob chuckled. "Bella and I would make mud pies and Big Sister Alice would wrinkle her nose at us."

"Duh. It's _mud_."

"But it was fun playing with _mud_." Jacob mimicked the way Alice said the word.

Alice discreetly checked Jasper's reaction to this ridiculous conversation and saw him chatting with Heidi. She wasn't sure if she should be relieved or disappointed that he wasn't paying any attention to them.

"We're about to start this party, guys. Grab a chair and settle down. Tonight is for Bella. She's the heavenly gorgeous brunette over there," James joked, waving a hand at Bella's direction who – as expected – blushed when everybody hooted and whistled for her. "She's celebrating her twenty-fifth birthday and because she's special, we'll all be dedicating Bella-inspired songs to her tonight. You guys up for it?"

The entire audience hollered a bunch of "Hell yeahs" and "Fuck nos" then started egging each other on. James rolled his eyes at the group. "Such a mature crowd we have here tonight, considering you're all from Bella's group of intelligent writer and editor friends."

He got booed.

The blond, ponytail-wearing stud (according to Jessica, anyway) smirked. "Kidding! K-I-D-D-I-N-G." He winked at Bella. "Anyway, our boss, the big gorilla over there – yeah, that beanie wearing man hovering over the birthday girl? Yup, that's him. As if you people didn't know – is hosting this party for his..." James paused and pretended to think.

"Platonic wife!" Tyler yelled.

"Beard!" Emmett called out.

"Mistress!" Jessica shrieked.

"I-wish-I-could-boink-her-but-dammit-she-has-taste fantasy woman?" Alice chimed in.

"Go-to woman to post his bail?" Leah sarcastically intoned.

The group laughed and hooted.

Edward raised his hand and gave everybody the finger. Bella pulled down the arm, blushing.

"I'm hosting this party for my Bella," he coolly announced.

"Oooooh, possessive!" Rose taunted.

"I'm rethinking the open bar part of this party," Edward replied, causing everybody to boo him.

"Errrrr, on that note, I'll be officially starting open mic night with this song for our dearest Bella. Happy birthday, B," James swooped in with a grin and saluted Bella.

James and his band performed Bruno Mars' "Just the Way You Are." Mr. Ponytail quoted a line from the song as to why they're singing it for the Birthday girl. "Cause you're amazing, just the way you are, Bella." He added a sincere smile after saying that which made Bella teary-eyed.

Tyler immediately took the spotlight after the band and belted out The Weather Girls' "It's Raining Men,"but clarified that he'd be doing the Geri Halliwell version. He came prepared with a CD of the song − the instrumental version. Mr. Bartender told everybody that he chose the song as a reminder to Bella that there were a lot of men out there for her to enjoy.

That earned him a glare from Sullen Cullen.

Alice followed, singing Bette Midler's "Wind Beneath my Wings." She shared that _Beaches_ had been one of her and Bella's favorite go-to movie when they wanted angst. Then she fanned herself with the printed sheet music she was holding loosely and sniffed. "She's my hero and she's everything I wish I could be. I love you, Bella. I'm so lucky to be related to you." She then handed the sheet to the band's keyboardist. Before Bubbly even reached the chorus, Bella was already crying her eyes out. Thank God for waterproof mascara.

Jessica sang Wilson Phillips' "You're in Love." She played the keyboard herself. When Jessica returned to the table, Rose asked her about Bella's connection to the song. Jessica rolled her eyes at her pregnant friend and answered "Duh. I'm sending Bella a subliminal message. And the message was, yes, she's in love and that's the way it should be!"

Rose went to the bathroom before she could cause serious bodily harm to the other blonde.

The Boss – _Aro_ not Bruce Springsteen – sang the acoustic version of "Sweet Child of Mine," with his son Alec on guitar. He joked that the song didn't have anything to do with Bella, he just wanted to sing it in front of everybody. Yep – Bella was treated to her boss singing Guns and Roses. Rock on, Aro. Rock on. His number was well-applauded and he even enjoyed a two-minute standing ovation from the audience.

Things became a lot more interesting when Alec remained on stage even after his father was done. He cleared his throat, smiled at Bella then started strumming the guitar and sing.

_She rolls the window down  
And she  
Talks over the sound  
Of the cars that pass us by  
And I don't know why  
But she's changed my mind  
_  
Alec stared intensely at Bella.

_Would you look at her  
She looks at me  
She's got me thinking about her constantly  
But she don't know how I feel  
And as she carries on without a doubt  
I wonder if she's figured out  
I'm crazy for this girl, Yeah I'm crazy for this girl_

Edward scowled. He took a peek at Bella and found her blushing and gazing back at Alec, an awed expression on her face. _The hell?_

_She was the one to hold me  
The night  
The sky fell down  
And what was I thinking when  
The world didn't end  
Why didn't I know what I know now_

_Would you look at her  
She looks at me  
She's got me thinking about her constantly  
But she don't know how I feel  
And as she carries on without a doubt  
I wonder if she's figured out  
I'm crazy for this girl, Yeah, I'm crazy for this girl..._

_Right now  
Face to face  
All my fears  
Pushed aside  
And right now  
I'm ready to spend the rest of my life  
With you_

Bella mentally cringed at how forward Alec had become. The song he was singing sounded familiar and a part of her was touched that he was doing it in front of everyone. _Maybe if I date Alec, this crazy attraction I have for Edward will disappear. Maybe if I experienced another man's, erm, companionship, I wouldn't fixate on Edward anymore. _She sighed.

_Naaaaaw. I don't like heeeem._

Startled, Bella glanced at Jessica and Edward, the two people sitting beside her. "Did you guys say something?" Not that they sounded nasally-challenged when they talked...

Jessica shook her head. Edward didn't answer. He was too busy glaring at the man performing on stage to reply. Then he stood up, muttering about getting a drink, and left.

Bella shrugged then went back to watching Alec, who was still staring at her as he neared the end of his performance. _So, should Babe A even attempt to date other babes out there? Just to see if Babe A is just having Stockholm syndrome-ish feelings for Babe B?_

_I waaant Anthoneeee. Onleee Anthoneee._

Bella blinked. Once. Twice. Then she gasped. _Oh my God! Marie?_

_I down't waaaant someone else. I waaant Anthoneee. _

Bella stared at her lap in shock. _Holy Frankfurter, my vagina spoke! And she totally sounded like Fran Drescher!_

"Bella? Are you okay? Why are you looking at your lap? Did you spill something on your dress?" Alice inquired, looking alarmed.

"Um, no. No, I didn't." She was still staring at her crotch in shock. _I just officially entered the Twilight Zone. _

The enthusiastic applause distracted Bella enough to take her attention away from her vagina and add her applause for Alec. But when the man moved to approach their table, eyes never leaving her, she panicked. Seeing the undeniable desire in Alec's eyes, Bella abruptly stood up, informed everyone she needed to go to the bathroom and quickly walked away.

Jessica, Alice and Rose exchanged glances. Heidi looked curious, Emmett looked hungry and Mr. and Mrs. Black were again whispering to each other. Jasper watched Edward drink beer across the room. He was about to stand up and join him when Tyler beat him to it.

Their eyes met and Tyler gave him a saucy wink.

Jasper nodded subtly and went back to lounging in his seat. _Good luck, Ty._

"You owe me an apology."

Edward expelled a breath and glanced up at his bartender. "I do. I'm really sorry, Ty. I didn't mean to insult you."

Tyler nodded. "I accept the apology, but you have to do something for me. You know, to make up for being an insensitive jerk."

"If this is a ploy to get a raise, forget it. You're already one of the highest paid bartenders in town."

"Sheesh. This is not about money, Edward!" Another hair flip −even though Tyler had short hair, he loved pretending he had Lady Gaga's mane.

Mr. Suspicious narrowed his eyes at the bartender. "Then what is this about?"

"This is about you retaliating to what that man did minutes ago." He pointed to someone using his chin.

Edward sighed. "You know I don't sing." _Liar._

"Tough. Its Bella's birthday, and everybody's singing. Even them." Tyler eyed the stage where five of Bella's writer friends grouped together and sang "You've Got a Friend" by James Taylor, acapella-style. They attempted to blend their voices, but it literally hurt to listen. "Edward, you either sing or do some epic baton-twirling on that stage, I don't care. Just do something! For _Bella_!"

_Boss, if I may? Why not go up the stage, unzip your pants and show me to everyone? Or do an impromptu strip tease? I'm one hundred percent irresistible. Your performance will be hailed the best among the rest! Then you can be all gloating and smug at that Alec dude._

Right.

_Anthony, I am not gonna flash anybody, nor strip in front of everyone! _"I'm not in competition with anyone."

Tyler smirked. "Sorry, too late. I already synched my voodoo power – FYI, all top notch Super Homos of the World have voodoo power – to James and he'll call you next."

"Really? You'll sing tonight?"

_Fuck!_ Edward glared at Tyler and turned to see Bella standing behind him. She looked...shaken? "Hey, you okay?"

She sighed. _I'm freaked out right now that Fran Drescher Junior _– _formerly known as Marie _– _just whined at me, but aside from that, I'm good._ "Yeah. I just needed to splash water on my face and I didn't want to incur Alice's wrath when she sees the make-up I ruined, so I walked straight here rather than join them on our table."

"That or you're avoiding Alec," he pointed out, glancing at their table to see the man sitting in Bella's chair talking to Jessica.

She blushed. "Busted. He's way too intense and it's seriously creeping me out. You were right about him and I don't want to hurt his feelings, so I'm taking the cowardly way out." _And I don't want to hear Marie whining again. I already heard an earful about wanting Anthony, and _only _Anthony, while I was in the bathroom. God, I miss the tingles._

Marie tingled.

Bella mentally face-palmed.

_Well, Bella. You wouldn't have to listen to your vagina complain if you'd just admit the truth to yourself, once and for all. _

Bella wanted to stick out her tongue and succumb to a full-fledged tantrum. _Now my haughty brain has joined in. Give me a break, guys. Stop ganging up on me. Please._

"You can stay here sweetie and together we'll gush over Edward's performance," Tyler offered, pouring her another drink.

She sat down beside Edward obediently and smiled excitedly at him. "You singing up there will totally make my twenty-fifth birthday memorable. Certified!"

To punctuate Bella's cheerful words, James called Edward.

The reluctant performer stood up, frowned at the smugly grinning Tyler, and turned to walk towards the stage. Everybody cheered seeing him up there. He rolled his eyes at the elaborate introduction that James gave, reached for a guitar, motioned for a chair, waited for said chair, sat on it when it was brought up, adjusted the mic, flexed his slightly bruised hand to see if he could play, confirmed that he indeed could when it didn't hurt that much, and finally looked at the crowd.

Edward cleared his throat.

"So, I don't normally do this. But for Bella, I will." Everyone hooted. "This is for you...baby." He openly gazed at the brunette sitting on the bar, and then started playing the guitar.

Like a pro, he strummed and strummed.

_Impress her with a new skill. _Check. Even if it was really an old skill. Or skills.

_Be spontaneously sweet. _Check. He hoped the message wouldn't be lost in translation.

_Reveal one personal thing she didn't know about you. _Check. Pandora's Box has just been opened.

_Make her feel special by doing something you don't or won't normally do, but will, just because she says so. _Check, even if technically, it was Tyler who set him up and asked him to do this.

_Let the courtship begin_, Edward thought as he leaned closer to the mic and began singing.

_The dawn is breaking  
A light shining through  
You're barely waking  
And I'm tangled up in you, yeah  
_  
_I'm open, you're closed  
Where I follow, you'll go  
I worry I won't see your face  
Light up again  
_  
_Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
Out of the doubt that fills my mind  
I somehow find you and I collide  
_  
_I'm quiet you know  
You make a first impression  
I've found I'm scared to know  
I'm always on your mind  
_  
_Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the stars refuse to shine  
Out of the back you fall in time  
I somehow find you and I collide  
_  
_Don't stop here  
I lost my place  
I'm close behind_

_Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
Out of the doubt that fills your mind  
You finally find you and I collide_

_You finally find you and I collide  
You finally find you and I collide_

As everybody clapped and cheered after Edward's song – Jessica and Alice were actually standing, with their hands clasped and jumping up and down, Jasper had raised both his hands and was continuously clapping, Heidi was beaming, Rose was hugging Emmett, Jacob looked pleased, Leah looked impressed, albeit grudgingly, and Tyler had been shaking his bubble booty in pure, unadulterated joy – Bella remained seated on her little stool, mouth gaping open at the man up the stage, staring back at her.

The same man who never looked away. Whose piercing green eyes stayed focused on her the entire time he was singing.

The noise faded and Bella could only hear the thump thump thump-ing of her crazily and loudly beating heart.

Her brain all but melted in awe of Edward.

Marie had been tingling since the moment Edward started playing the guitar.

Her heart...her heart had been beating fast ever since Edward called her _baby_ and fixed his eyes on her, and her alone.

No more tummy aches.

Nessie's words to her that afternoon suddenly came to mind. "_I have a brain and a heart. Lucky for me, they co-exist harmoniously."_

Bella put her right hand on top of her still-wildly beating heart. Her impudent brain whispered the reality of her situation. Marie agreed by tingling some more.

_My brain, my heart and Marie...they're all aligned._

She blinked. She focused on Edward, who was still at the stage but no longer looking at her. He was surrounded by James and his band, and she even spotted Jasper and Emmett up there. They were goofing off, presumably teasing Edward about his hidden talent, now discovered.

He was laughing then glanced at her.

He winked.

Bella swallowed audibly. _Holy Frankfurter, Babe A is...is...with Babe B!_

She let out a whoosh of breath.

_Oh my God, I really am frigging in love with Edward!_

* * *

about time Bella, about time :)

Songs used in this chapter:

Crazy for this girl - Evan and Jaron (Alec's song for Bella)

Collide - Howie Day (Edward's song) *I love this song so effin much, right Jecks?*

* * *

**Guys, BHT has been nominated at the Annual Glosp Awards. It's a first for me and I'm happy to be recognized. Yay! It's under the "Nuttiest Fic" category, haha... Voting is from Oct. 14 to 26 so please vote. Thanks guys! Here's the link:**

**http:/glospawards(dot)blogspot(dot)com/p/vote(dot)html**

**SPECIAL THANK YOU TO THE COVEN AND MY CHUVA LADIES ESP. ANNE FOR THE SUPPORT. ANNE IS MY PUBLICIST. I LOVE HER TO DEATH :)**


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns everything Twi-related. I own Anthony and Marie...(look, D three dots!) well, at least their versions in this fic anyway :)

* * *

My amazing beta is **IZZZYY**. She's hot and she got rep (just like Anthony,lol). But what I love most about her is that she's crazy. Like me :)

* * *

**EARLY THANK YOUS:**

Before I forget again, I wanna say massive thanks to the peepz who recced BHT: **Lady Ali** *waves* who recced it as a Twigasm Fic of the Day and **The Fictionators**. You guys rock!

* * *

Chapter 18

_Stop thinking about the rule! Your plan is lame − it will not work!_

Glaring at her reflection in the bathroom's vanity mirror, Bella continued brushing her teeth. It was one thing to have an epiphany; it was another to pretend like you hadn't had it while the object of said epiphany had been a mere step away. She thanked God and all that was holy that she'd managed to not freak out the entire time.

That or jump Edward's bones.

Or worse, cry.

She spit gurgled water and started brushing again. _Dear God, Hi. The timing did suck, but at least you didn't let me make a fool of myself tonight. I kept my cool at the party – how I successfully pulled that off I have no idea – and I didn't lose my quiddich even when Edward reluctantly sang another song due to the crowd's insistence. The song he chose the second time around made me remember vividly what occurred between us but still, no major freak outs. He did "Fields of Gold." You know, our D-Day song? I mean the song that was on the background while he was..._Bella paused then blushed. Should she be discussing her D-Day with God? Wouldn't that be sort of disrespectful, getting all detailed with her carnal thoughts to the Holy Man?

_Hel-lo, you saw Him hang out with dead people when you _orgasmed_, prude. This is so not the time to be shy about your sexperience. _

Brain was being her usual Benedict Arnold-y self. Yay, happy times.

_Not_. Bella rolled her eyes. _Anyway, God,_ _as I was saying, Edward was a hit at the party. Dude can sing _and_ play musical instruments! Cool, right? He looked very comfortable playing the guitar, as if he'd been doing it for a long, long time. And don't get me started with him playing the keyboard while singing our frankfurter song...umm, err, you know, the song playing while we were doing the yummy deed. That was definitely another level of wow. The man can do everything! So, thank you, God, for keeping me sane until the party ended. I couldn't do it without you. Love, me. Oh, _me_ as in Isabella Marie Dwyer Swan._

Bella dropped her toothbrush in the sink and sighed. She eyed herself critically, from her mousy brown hair down to her barely B-cup boobies, and sighed. _I totally have no idea what to do next. Mom said I had to be sure of my feelings. Well, the Mighty Trinity – yep, that's you three: brain, heart and Marie! – all agreed that it'll only be Edward for me. Marie in particular whined and assaulted my hearing with her voice just to insist that she wanted Anthony and him alone. I think if it was possible for a vagina to commit suicide, she'd do it in a heartbeat if another penis as much as grazed her. _Bella's expression turned sentimental. _Although, I must admit, I love her loyalty. She was acting like she was Juliet to Anthony's Romeo._

The brunette wistfully smiled. _Star-crossed lovers: Anthony and Marie._ _Aww_. _I wonder if Anthony speaks to Edward. And if he did, what kind of voice does he have?_ _Maybe James Earl Jones meets Rod Stewart? How would that combination sound anyway? _Bella pondered, her brows knitting in concentration. _A raspy King Mufasa!_ _Edward's penis would sound like a raspy Lion King? Hmm._ She shook her head. _Nah, that's impossible. Edward would never reach that level of nuttiness. I'm crazy enough for the both of us. _She picked up her toothbrush, put the head under the faucet, and watched as bits of toothpaste washed off and went straight to the drain. She then rinsed, gargled mouthwash, and wiped her mouth with a towel.

_I should call Mom. I needed to talk to her about this or I'll burst._

Bella walked out of the bathroom and went straight to the bedside table where her phone was and grabbed it. Hurrying, she trotted back to the bathroom, closed the door gently and gingerly sat inside the empty bathtub – the safest place to have this conversation, considering the object of her epiphany was just a room away and she tended to speak a bit too loudly when excited and/or nervous – _and_ _I'm both, dear God, I'm both!_ Then she stared at her phone.

3:30 am.

_I am so, so sorry Mom for disturbing your sleep._ She dialled the number then started chewing her nails while waiting for her mother to answer the call. After the fifth ring, she heard her Mom's husky "Bella?"

"Mom! Babe A is in love with Babe B! She's sure of it now and she's going crazy thinking of ways of how to deal with it!"

"What do you −? Umm...what?" Renee sounded confused.

_Breathe in, breathe out, Bella. Stay calm and coherent for the love of God!_ "Mom, remember what we talked about this afternoon at lunch? About Babe A and Babe B?"

"Yes..."

_Bella, use your frigging names and stop referring to you and Edward as Babes A and B!_ "Umm, I am one hundred percent sure that I'm in love with Edward. Oh, _I'm_ Babe A and _he's_ Babe B. In case you missed that. Anyway, it took me a long time to figure that out, but I finally did. My _everything_ loves him, Mom. My brain, my heart, even my, err, lady parts love him. They want him, and only him." She paused. "_I _want him, and only him."

"Oh. Okay. Bella...umm...you see..." Renee exhaled loudly.

"But here's the dilemma, Mom," Bella continued, barely registering her mother's discomfort. "Edward and I have been platonic friends for three years. I am not a huge fan of that word now. You know, _platonic_. I wanted a lot more from him. I mean, I'm twenty-five years old and of course my body wanted me to do something about my feelings for him. Emotionally, I am _so_ there, you know? Physically, I don't even know where to start." She expelled a breath. "Mom, have you ever heard of the 'Golden Rule of Sex?'"

Her mother coughed. "Bella, honey−"

"I didn't want to make you uncomfortable discussing this, but I have no one to talk to about this, Mom. Please. I couldn't possibly talk to Alice. She'd freak out, and I'm not sure when she'd calm down enough to have a serious conversation with me. Rose would say 'just tell Edward, and be blunt about it!' but I couldn't be that forward with him. I'm ten times more confused when I'm nervous and agitated; I'd most likely speak gibberish! And I love Jess a lot, but she would be very distracted by the sex talk itself. And this is beyond sex, Mom. I mean, of course, there'll be sex in the future. I'd be more than willing to give him lots and lots of it, _if_ Edward truly wanted me that way. For now though, until everything's been revealed and resolved, I needed to talk to someone who would look beyond the sex stuff and see the bigger picture and give me proper advice on how to deal with this situation. That's you!"

Renee cleared her throat but couldn't say anything to save her life. _I'm in the middle of a sticky situation here. _Not that she needed to say anything at all; her daughter was on a roll. "Anyway, back to the golden rule of sex. It's stated that 'without attraction, there will be no erection.' It makes perfect sense, Mom. Edward has to move on from looking at me as his best buddy to recognizing me as a _woman_. So I asked myself 'How would Edward see me as a woman?' Logically, he has to be attracted to me, right? And a foolproof way of confirming a man's attraction to a woman is, you know, _be _the reason for his erection, just like the golden rule states. So I decided to seduce Edward, and see if he'd show that kind of physical response to me. I decided that if he did indeed have an erection during my seduction, that completely−" A choking sound made Bella pause. "Mom? Are you okay? What was that noise?"

A pause. Then another voice came through the line. "That'd be me, Isabella," Charlie answered flatly.

Bella's eyes widened hearing his father's voice, and she promptly dropped the phone in mortification. She quickly stood up, took a few steps away from the phone and covered her mouth with both hands, all the while staring at the electric device in dread as if that long-haired, creepy girl from _The __Ring_ would suddenly crawl out from it and kill her. _Oh my God! Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! Dad was there all along! He heard everything! _She started to hyperventilate, remembering the stuff she had been yapping about. She heard her Mom's voice calling her name over and over but she was too overwhelmed – and overwhelmingly embarrassed! – to respond.

Bella couldn't breathe. _Death by embarrassment. What an equally embarrassing way to die. No! I just have to calm the frankfurter down. Calm down, Bella!_

Edward came barging in, holding his phone, a frantic look on his face. "Bella! What happened?" He reached out and wrapped a hand around her wrist.

_Not helping, Edward!_ Bella mentally screamed, feeling her heart race in reaction to Edward's touch. She pulled her wrist from his hold. "Can't...breathe...go...away!"

"There's no way in hell I'm leaving you like this!" Edward stubbornly replied then picked her up as if she weighed nothing at all and carried her bridal style outside of the bathroom. They headed straight to the kitchen where she was carefully deposited on one of the stools. Bella watched as Edward took a brown bag from one of the overhead cabinets, gave it to her, and ordered her to breathe into the bag, which she did.

After a couple of minutes, her breathing started to even out and Bella was finally able to breathe properly. She looked up from the brown bag, ready to thank Edward and praise his fast thinking, when it suddenly registered to her what he was wearing.

Black boxer shorts, nothing else. In Edward's haste to save her life, their "no walking around the house in one's underwear" agreement was forgotten.

_Not that I mind._ Bella blinked a couple of times. _Hello pecs. Abs. Anthony's outline..._

Edward swallowed hard seeing Bella eye his body in obvious awe. Her lips parted and the tip of her tongue appeared to moisten her lower lip. Anthony responded by hardening. The perv then twitched in excitement.

_For fuck's sake Anthony, it's just tongue! Get a hold of yourself!_ He reprimanded with disgust.

_Did you have amnesia, boss? Have you already forgotten what Bella's tongue did to me – to us – yesterday morning, in this exact place? How could you have forgotten that amazing blowjob? We jizzed nonstop for minutes!_

_Shut up._

Bella's nipples pushed against the thin material of the nightshirt she had on. They looked like twin beamers, lighting up Edward's libido. _No bra. Bella isn't wearing a fucking bra. _By then Anthony was stretching to his full potential.

Bella's jaw dropped seeing Anthony's shape become more defined. She couldn't look away. _Could it be possible that Edward's getting an erection? Why? I'm not wearing sexy lingerie. Visually, I am less than desirable right now. Not that I was a red-hot seductress to begin with, but at least with proper ammo, I could turn Edward on. He said so himself the first time I saw Anthony up close and personal. And he was _so_ aroused last night. Sexy lingerie is a reliable resource to incite erection._

"Bella? Please stop staring at Anthony."

There was a pleading note in Edward's voice that made her look away. Blushing, she tried to explain her sudden fascination. "Umm, sorry, it's just...erm, he looked awake." _Impressively awake._

Edward sighed. "He is."

A moment of silence. "Why?" Bella inquired bravely. _All in the name of research,_ she reminded herself, _for seduction purposes. I need the info._

"Do you really have to ask?"

It was her turn to sigh. "No."

Edward gazed at Bella's bent head and sat beside her. _This is a normal conversation with Bella, Edward. You talk about anything and everything with her. Deal!_ "You're wearing a very thin shirt, Bella. I'm just a man, and seeing the impressions of your nipples, well, Anthony definitely liked it, so he reacted."

Bella glanced at her chest and saw there was indeed the outline of her nipples poking out lewdly under her shirt, as if she was cold even though she felt really, really hot at the moment. She blushed and crossed her arms in front of her chest to cover them. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not," Edward answered then grinned at her. "I'm a perv, remember, and you've got great-looking tits."

_Take note, Bella! Edward liked seeing your "tits." _She blushed even more. "Stop perving please." _Quiddich, I left my notebook in my room. I should be writing this!_

He chuckled then sat back. "Are you feeling better now? Your Dad sounded so worried when he called and asked me to check on you."

_Dad. The rule I kept on blabbering about. My plan to seduce Edward. And oh my God, how many times did I actually say "_erection" _with Dad hearing it? _She face palmed. _Stupid, stupid, Bella!_

As if on cue, Edward's phone started ringing. Bella grimaced as she watched Edward pick up the phone from the table and showed her who was calling. Renee. He gave her a look. She made a face but nodded anyway.

"Hey, Renee." A pause. "Yes, she's fine. She's sitting beside me. Okay." Edward gave Bella the phone. "She wants to talk to you."

With a resigned sigh, she took the phone and lifted it to her ear. "Hi, Mom."

"Hey baby girl. You okay?" Renee gently inquired, even if she couldn't really cover the worry in her voice.

"I'm fine. Edward saved the day. Oh, him and a brown bag." She cleared her throat. "Umm, is Dad there?"

Renee chuckled. "No. He decided he wouldn't be joining our phone conversations anymore except when you asked for him to be there personally. Ignorance is bliss, he told me." Renee giggled.

Bella cringed. "It's not really funny, Mom."

"Oh honey, if you really think about it, it was pretty comical. If only you could have seen you father's face as he listened to you talk. He started as a bit red-faced, went really red, and progressed to purplish. For a second there I really thought he'd cry hearing his baby girl talk about−"

"Edward, can you get me a glass of water please? Thanks," Bella quickly interrupted, throwing the man beside her a grateful smile.

"Oh. I completely forgot he was there. Sorry honey."

"Mom, what time will you be back tomorrow? I really, really want to talk to you about this." She resisted the urge to bite her nails again; instead she followed Edward with her eyes. _I love how he fills his boxers __oh-so-perfectly. Nice butt._

"We'll leave Forks around six, so let's meet for lunch."

_And oh, those shoulders, so broad and manly. And his muscled back...dayum._

"Bella?"

_I especially love how he consistently takes good care of me. I mean, I do love his body and there is no denying how truly gorgeous Edward is (scruffy or clean-shaven, super casual to semi-formal, whatever – look he'll own it effortlessly), but at the end of the day it's who he's been and continues to be with me that really matters the __most._

She would not cry.

"Bella!"

_Mom. Right. Sheesh._ "Yes! Sorry, my mind went to Oz and played with Dorothy for a minute there. Sure, Mom. I'd love to have lunch with you. Where do you want to eat?" She mouthed 'thank you' to Edward who joined her with the glass of water.

"Hmm. I missed walking around Pike Place Market. Why don't we go there and let our feet dictate what we'll be doing for the rest of the day? You'll have your dear mother for company until the wee hours of the evening. I promise."

_Tear ducts, please cooperate._ "Thanks Mom. I love you."

"I love you too, hon. See you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow."

"Tell Edward I love him as well." There was a teasing note in Renee's voice.

Bella automatically blushed. "Mom!"

Even Edward heard Renee's laughter. He glanced at Bella inquiringly. She just rolled her eyes but the blush did not subside at all. "Bye, Mom."

"Bye, hon. Thank Edward again for us, baby girl." She was still chuckling when she ended the call.

"Mom said thanks for taking care of me," Bella told Edward as she returned the phone to him.

"She didn't have to thank me. I feel it's my responsibility to always make sure you're okay. You do know that I feel protective of you, right?"

She nodded. "You're kind of scaring other people actually." Then she smiled to show she was just teasing.

"I can be very intense," Edward admitted, wincing a little. "Take the Jacob incident, for example."

Bella groaned. "Good thing Jacob's pretty solid. I thought you killed him or something. I felt like fainting when I saw him sprawled on the floor."

"That was me getting all protective." _And insanely jealous._

Bella stood up and pulled him with her. "Come on, I'm still not sleepy and I missed talking to you. Let's go get comfy on the couch."

Edward ordered Anthony to behave. Bella's version of getting "comfy" sometimes led to resting her head on his shoulder. There was even a time when she lay her head on his lap as she talked nonstop about her manuscript. It involved an elephant on some crazy adventure, but he remembered sitting there, listening to her with a smile on his face. _I should've realized then that I was in love with her._

Predictably, Bella did rest her head on his shoulder as she started recounting the highlights of her birthday party. She laughed, recalling Jessica's none-too-subtle singing of Sting's "Every Breath You Take" while focusing her entire attentionon James. Then she awww-ed at Emmett and Rose's duet, which was "Lucky" by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat.

Rose informed everyone that the song wasn't for her and Emmett but for another soon-to-be-couple. _Subtle, _Edward had thought, smiling a little_. _Bella, certified Queen of Oblivious that she was, turned to grin at Jessica and started teasing Hoe with James.

_Duh, Bella. Duh._

"Then there's _Victoria Horne_." She turned curious brown eyes on Edward.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"She was all touchy and purr-y when she talked to you. Could she be the next girlfriend?" _Say no, Edward. For me and my tummy's sake, say no._

"Who?" He was genuinely clueless.

"Victoria Horne. The redhead?"

Edward frowned. "Sorry, I don't remember any redheads." _I was too busy watching over a certain brunette to notice other people._

Bella sat up. "Seriously?" _Happy dance._

Edward rolled his eyes. "Yes. Between fuming over the perverts and trying to keep them away from you, I had neither time nor the inclination to meet women."

Hearing what he said deflated Bella's happiness a little. "I didn't need another Dad, Edward."

"What?" Edward turned to fully face her. "Explain. Now."

Bella shrugged. "You didn't have to look after me, you know. The last thing I want to happen is me Anthony-blocking you from other women."

"_Anthony-_blocking me?"

"Sheesh. Anthony is the name of your..." She looked at him expectantly.

"Dick."

Bella shook her head. "The other name for dick."

"Penis."

"Another name."

Edward scowled. "What the hell, Bella? Are we playing a game here?"

"Of course not! Just answer, Edward!"

He scratched the back of his head. "What was the question again?"

"What is the name given to a male chicken?" She sighed, simplifying it.

"I don't know." Edward exhaled loudly. "Mario?"

Bella gaped at him in disbelief. "_Mario_? A male _chicken_, Edward, not a male person! Ugh! This is not Nintendo!" she exclaimed, arms flailing in annoyance at the man's slowness.

"Oh. Rooster."

Bella snarled. "Cock, Edward! Cock! God!" She took a deep, calming breath. "I don't want to _cock_block you from other women!"

Edward stared at her for a minute then burst out laughing. He was laughing so hard he fell to the floor, pulling Bella with him.

"That wasn't nice. You did that on purpose just to make me say the 'c 'word. You totally made fun of me," Bella grumbled as she lay beside Edward on their carpeted floor.

Still chuckling, Edward put an arm under her head and pulled her closer to him. _Perfect_. "I honestly didn't get it the first three times. When you half-shouted 'male chicken' it finally clicked, but you looked so fucking adorable that I had to continue pretending to not know what you're talking about."

"Glad I amused you then."

He grinned down at her. "I'm happiest when I'm with you, you know."

Bella melted but she feigned indignation instead. "Drop it, Edward Cullen. You're still mean."

Edward chuckled some more. "I'm sorry Miss Bella. That will never happen again."

"Try saying that without chuckling and maybe then I'll believe you."

He dropped a kiss on top of her head then sighed. "Seriously, I'm happiest when I'm with you, Bella."

Bella's lower lip trembled at the heartfelt declaration. If only it was said to her as a lover rather than a best buddy..."Same here," she mumbled, taking a deep breath.

They were quiet for a while, just enjoying the silence and company, when Bella shifted positions and faced Edward. Always attuned to her, he did the same thing until they lay there, face to face.

Babe A and Babe B exchanged smiles.

"My back is killing me."

"It's awfully cold down here, and I'm only wearing boxers."

They giggled like children, standing up. Edward entwined his fingers to Bella's and pulled her towards his room.

"Why are you leading me to your room?" Bella's heart went thump-ta-thump-thump.

"Are you sleepy?" Edward asked her instead.

"Not really," she admitted.

"Then let's talk some more in my room. We can lie down on my bed − it's more comfortable there."

_Edward's room._ Bella's knees wobbled a little. That was where she'd lost her hymen. The memories of their schmexing were still fresh in her mind, and she couldn't trust herself to not blurt out her newfound feelings if they stayed there.

"What about my room?"

Edward shrugged. "Okay."

Bella sighed in relief. They walked inside her room, Edward closed the door, and they settled on to her bed. Good thing she loved big, spacious beds. She looked at Edward and couldn't help but laugh. "This is the first time we've ever done this. And you're still not wearing a shirt."

"Where's the old Stoli?"

"Edward, I haven't washed it yet. I told you that already."

"And I told you I didn't mind. Come on, I'm cold. Give it to me." He pouted. "Pweeasee, Bewwa."

She scowled at Edward then pulled something under the pillow that he was using. "Here."

_Not gonna lie that makes me fucking happy. She keeps my shirt under her pillow! Fuck yeah! _ He sat up, sniffed the shirt – _it smells like Bella, I'm a lucky sonofabitch_ – and with a smug smile, slipped it on. He then lay back on the bed, whistling a little.

His smile got even wider when Bella settled comfortably beside him. He could picture them doing this nightly until they were old, wrinkly and gray. _I bet Bella would still look fucking fantastic. _He grinned to himself.

_And Anthony would still harden and be ready to pump and hump the wifey in a New York minute even if his boss resembles a dried prune by then._

Edward mentally scoffed at his dick. _You're not invited here, Anthony. Go away._

"Edward?"

"Yep?"

She moved a bit closer then turned to faced him. "I never knew you could sing that well, nor play guitar and keyboard."

_So we're having _this_ conversation now. _"The last time I tapped on my so-called musical skills was ten years ago."

Bella slowly nodded. "Ten years ago you were eighteen."

"Such mad math skills you have there, kiddo," he joked, trying to lighten the mood.

She smiled a little. "You told me in passing that your estrangement with your parents happened before you left for college."

"Correct."

"Was it because you wanted to pursue something totally different than football?"

Edward took a deep breath. "In a way, but it didn't have anything to do with football." He gave Bella a sad smile. "Ten years ago, I was hoping to go to Juilliard. Actually, I've been itching to go to that school since I was sixteen years old."

"That's huge."

"Yep. I did have a knack in mastering anything I put my head to. I never enjoyed music when I was a bit younger. Back then, I was all over the place; my interests varied. One year I devoted to swimming, the next photography. Then I also tried my hand in portrait painting. It's crazy. Looking back now, I think I was just a very bored child."

"What did your parents say about it?"

He shrugged. "Let's add spoiled to 'very bored child' shall we? Whatever I wanted to do, they indulged me, especially since I excelled in just about anything. Then, when I was sixteen, there was this girl. Her name was Lucy, and she played the violin. I was hormonal and she was very pretty. I thought I was in love, so I desperately tried to learn to play a musical instrument. Piano was handy, so I focused on that. Good old Mom hired this retired pianist, Amadeus Banner – I know, crazy name but he was a good teacher – and he became my mentor. Back then I could compose two or three songs a day. I was so psyched to impress Lucy, but she left school before I even made a move. Then I heard she attended Julliard's Pre-College Division. She was there every Saturday, so I told my parents that I wanted to go there as well. For the first time I was told 'no.' Dad wanted me to explore other 'avenues,' as he called it. He wanted me to go back to being try-anything-and-succeed Edward. He suggested athletics. He also told Mom to stop my sessions with Mr. Banner. I was so annoyed with everything that I chose a sport where it was most likely to get injured. So, football it was, and just to spite him, I started learning to play the guitar on the side."

"What a brat," Bella teased, wrinkling her nose at him.

Edward wanted to hug her so badly. "I _was_ a brat. I'm sure you wouldn't have wanted to be my friend back then. I was so full of myself it was disgusting."

"Considering you lived in New York while I was in Forks, I'm pretty certain our paths would never have crossed."

He didn't even want to think about life without Bella. "That's why I'm thankful Daddy C forced pre-med on me during my senior year and threatened to disown me if I didn't follow his wishes. I was never interested in medicine. Just because my Dad, Grandpa and most of my relatives were doctors, it didn't mean that I wanted that career for myself. He tried the guilt trip approach, but it didn't work. He moved to goading me with money and told me I could only help the hospital our family owned if I became a doctor myself. I never desired owning a freaking hospital, and I told him that up front. He was so angry, he pulled the 'disown me card' and told me if I insisted on attending Juilliard, I had to fend for myself, 'cause he was cutting me off." Edward snorted. "He was very shrewd. He told me that news when it was already too late to work on a scholarship. I'm skilled, but because I also had other extra-curricular activities – as set up by my wonderful Dad – I wasn't really given the opportunity to hone my craft. Sure, I could play two musical instruments and I could compose songs, but Juilliard was one tough school to get into. It wasn't called the Harvard of music for nothing. Besides, I stopped pursuing music when I started playing football. So the Doc won. Goodbye Juilliard. But what I did next totally took the smug look off his face."

Bella nodded. "You accepted the football scholarship offered by Seattle U."

"It certainly wasn't Columbia University where quote 'three generations of Cullens attended' unquote." Edward smirked. "It was _so_ worth it."

The brunette faced him. "And our worlds got a little bit closer."

"_That_ made it even more worth it." Edward smiled down at her. "A couple other schools offered me the same thing, but there was something about Seattle U...hmm. It must have been fate." _Fate playing Cupid. _

Bella gazed at him for a moment. _Thank you, Fate._ "Don't you miss it?"

"Miss what?"

"Music."

"A little." He shrugged. "But my life changed a lot and a part of me had to admit that it wasn't really something that I would commit myself for the long haul. Music could be a hobby, but it could never be my entire life." Edward shifted to fully face her. "I did enjoy studying business and playing for the NFL, but when I got injured and was advised to retire, it didn't feel like my life had ended. It was so easy to move on and do something different. I guess that bored kid who wanted to try anything remained in me somehow. It just made sense to open a bar since I frequented them a lot. Em knew a real estate agent who showed me this two-story building that I instantly liked. I bought it and thought I'd use the second floor as my living quarters, but that didn't work out, so I went to look for an apartment, saw this ad from a guy named Izzy who was looking for a roommate...well, you know the rest."

"Izzy." Bella chuckled. "That was Alice's fault."

"I'm so grateful that she posted that ad."

They exchanged grins. They were quiet for a while, each reliving that fateful day of their first meeting when Bella abruptly sat up.

"Bella?"

"Please don't be angry with me. I just have to say this."

Edward sat up as well. Together, they leaned on the headboard, shoulder to shoulder, both a bit tense. _A safe word will be used in the not-too-distant-future_, he thought, his fingers combing his hair. "I won't get angry, promise."

Bella took a deep breath. "Ten years have passed, Edward. You admitted that music wasn't really something that you'd pursue your entire life. You didn't go to medical school; you followed your own path. Don't you think it's about time to cut the estrangement and make amends?"

_Fuck._ "Do you want me to do that?"

"This is not about me. This is about you and your parents."

Edward pursed his lips. "I honestly haven't thought of dealing with my parents again. I told you, I'm happy and content with my life now."

"Your mom misses you a lot."

"And you know this because...?"

Bella smiled a little. "We exchange random e-mails from time to time. Actually, I do that with both of your parents. And knowing me, I'm touched that they tolerate my 'random thoughts', because I assure you, most of them have been quite random."

Edward was aware of Bella's long-distance friendship with his parents, but not to this extent. "How random, exactly?"

Bella blushed. "One time, I e-mailed Esme a lengthy message about Ellie the Elephant and how that book came to life in my imagination. I even scanned this really ugly drawing of Ellie I'd done myself and attached it. Your Mom called me and we chatted for hours about that. She loved Ellie and bought a lot of copies and gave them all to a local kindergarten school. Then, just a couple of days ago, I e-mailed your Dad, venting about the injustice of sexually transmitted diseases. I was Googling about fellatio and I got distracted by these links forwarding me to sites that discussed STDs. The next thing I knew, I was typing a message to your Dad about what I'd read. It never even entered my mind that Carlisle was Chief of Surgery and I was most likely wasting his valuable time. Like your Mom, he called me and let me vent some more. I think we ended up talking about the sick children in Africa or something. And yeah, he gave me an advance 'happy birthday.'"

Edward didn't know how to react, or what to think, for that matter. Not that knowing people liked Bella could still shock him. As Jasper said, everybody liked her. Bella was a very likeable person. _Lovable._

"They're really nice, Edward. I love them both, to be honest. My Mom and Esme, they 're also close considering they only met once."

Edward remembered his first Thanksgiving with the Dwyers and Swans. Bella prepared an elaborate dinner; she cleaned the house from top to bottom and informed him they'd be dressing up for the occasion. When her family arrived – they all flew in from Jacksonville – he got introduced formally to everyone. Nessie was all braces and big words then. Alice barely made it, because she was already working in Paris at that time. Then Bella told everybody that once the last two guests arrive, they'd officially start Thanksgiving dinner.

The two other guests had been his parents.

Bella had an idea that his relationship with his parents had been non-existent. There was some media speculation about it when he was still playing for the NFL, and she remembered Edward's own outburst of choosing to die first before asking for his parent's help when he had to rent an apartment because he didn't have enough money to start a business and buy his own house. However, she did admit that she invited them over for selfish reasons: she wanted to meet her housemate's family. That and she wanted to finally shut up Renee, who wanted to "bond" with the Cullens. Renee had argued that it was only fitting for both families to meet considering their children were living under one roof.

Dinner was awkward, at least for the Cullens. Bella's family made it tolerable though, and the Cullens' deeply-ingrained manners helped in at least appearing to be civil. Nobody commented on how distant Edward had been to his own parents, or how they didn't really talk. It helped that Alice and Vanessa could be a force of nature as they prepared post-dinner games in the living room.

It was during that time Edward discovered the following facts: Bella sucked at Charades, Phil could host Family Feud in his sleep, then fifteen-year-old Ness could be a sore loser, Alice and Vanessa shrieked a lot when excited, and his own parents had their own version of a happy dance whenever they scored points.

Admittedly, if he wasn't all grumpy about it, he'd had fun that night.

It turned out that everybody was staying at the Four Seasons Hotel, and he later found out that the families bonded over breakfast the next day. Edward had made some lame ass excuse to miss it, and had to endure listening to Bella's stories that night.

"I don't know, Bella. I haven't really thought of them for years. Excluding our first Thanksgiving together, I never talked to them again."

Bella nodded sadly. "For what it's worth, Edward, they really love you. I'm positive that they have regretted the mistakes they made in the past every single day of your estrangement. I mean, none of us fished for information about your falling out. I'm pretty sure Mom didn't ask Esme about it, because we all respected your privacy. But I think the main reason why your parents continued communicating with me is because I'm their only link to you. They may not ask about you directly, but they both know that I talk about you a lot. And I could sense that whatever stories about you that I shared, they kept them locked and memorized in their minds."

Edward didn't respond. He just kept on staring – unseeingly – at Bella's floor to ceiling bookshelf.

"Touchdown?" The brunette quietly asked.

He exhaled loudly. "I just need time to think about everything."

"Okay."

Edward cleared his throat. "Are you disappointed?"

"No. I'm the queen of taking time to overanalyze and over think, remember? Just take all the time that you need."

Edward nodded. "I better go and let you sleep."

"Honest to God, I'm not sleepy," Bella assured him then grinned. "This week has been epic and I'm pretty sure I'll be obsessing about the events that happened to me over and over again for months. Years, even!" _Understatement of the century. I'll most likely tell our grandchildren the tale of Nana Bella's true love as a bedtime story._

"Then give me top three of the most unforgettable or memorable moments for you," Edward challenged, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

_Eeeek. _Bella shook her head. "That'd be impossible to do considering a lot happened this week."

"Come on, you're more than capable of answering that! We have these 'top three' conversations all the time! We even timed it, and you were always the fastest to answer."

"That was because I blurted out whatever came to mind! I had zero filter compared to you." _Danger! Danger!_

Edward rolled his eyes. "Since when did you ever need to filter your thoughts with me?"

_Since I realized I'm frigging in love with you, that's when._ "A woman has to have a secret, you know."

"Nope, unacceptable answer, sorry. Give me your top three, Bella. Come on."

Bella started to sweat. _Frankfurter my life! Quiddich!_ "Fine." _No, Bella. Noooo!_

Edward rubbed his hands and smirked at her. "Three?"

"I got to spend my birthday with my entire family." _That was easy._

"Two?"

Bella started blushing. "Umm, losing my virginity."

Edward looked at her in surprise. "That's not you're number one?"

_Uh-oh._ Bella's heart started beating fast. She rubbed her sweaty palms on her comforter and blushed some more.

Edward whistled. "You mean something _more_ epic happened?"

"Errr, manuscript?"

Edward scowled. "No way! No safe word! You already gave me your top two! What's number one?"

Bella started to tremble. _Lie! Just lie!_

"Umm..." _Quiddich! I can't lie._

"Just say it. Come on!" Edward prodded, looking curiously at her.

_I still have to talk to Mom about this! I haven't even decided yet what to do to seduce Edward! _"Err...you see...umm..." She started to fidget and avoided looking at Edward. _Embellish! Embellish!_

"Bella!"

"What?"

"Number one! What's number one?"

She pressed her lips together.

Edward stared at her for a full minute then stood up. "Fine, don't tell me. We better sleep." _Maybe its Alec's presence, that or his riveting performance...fuck my life. That's her number one? _

Bella cringed, seeing Edward's hurt expression. Catch 22 just made sense. "Edward..."

"No, Bella. I don't want to force you to give me an answer. Really." _As if I wanted to hear you admit Alec's performance moved you so much. That fucker. _"Have fun spending the day with your Mom tomorrow." He started walking towards the door.

"You singing...performing for me! That's my number one." _That's partly true, right? I didn't lie._

Edward stopped walking and turned to look at her. He lifted a brow and frowned. "You're holding something back. I can almost taste it."

_I wanna taste! I wanna taste!_

_Go away, Anthony. _"What's going on, Bella? You've never had second thoughts sharing stuff with me before." He couldn't mask the hurt in his voice as he asked the other question. "Don't you trust me anymore?"

Bella sighed. "Of course I trust you. I've never trusted anyone more in my life than you, Edward! Come on, you know that. I trust you! So much."

_I wanna thrust! I wanna thrust!_

_Dammit, Anthony, Bella and I are having a serious conversation here!_ "Then why are you holding back?" he demanded. "You never hold back, Bella."

"Because this...thing, whatever, I needed time to deal with it by myself. Or at least until I talk to Mom about it," she explained.

"Now I'm worried," Edward said, and went back to sitting beside her. "Are you in trouble? Come on Bella, just tell me already. I'll help you deal with it."

Bella rolled her eyes at him. "Dude, remember when you said that you'd tell me about the thing that bugged you, soon, just not now? And how I didn't push you to make a decision about your parents? Please extend the same courtesy to me."

_Touché_. "I'm not as gracious as you, sorry." He paused. "So please tell me, Bella. Just _tell_ me."

"Oh my God, you're so irritatingly persistent! Grr!" Bella exclaimed, standing up.

_Good. I know that reaction. Goad her some more._ "Tell you what, I'll make amends with the 'rents tomorrow – yes, tomorrow! – I'll call them and invite them here for...um, Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving with us, my treat! Just tell me what it is that you're keeping from me."

"You're bribing me?" Bella asked incredulously. "Sheesh, you're that desperate now?"

He stood in front of her. "Yes."

"Unbelievable. What happened to 'Patience is a virtue'?"

He scoffed. "I'm not really a virtuous man."

_Duuuuuu eeeeet! Jowst teeell heeeeeem._

Bella cringed. _Ugh. Be quiet, Marie._

_Prude, I'm getting bored with this conversation. Just tell him and be done with it._

She ignored her brain.

Edward was getting antsy. "Bella, come on! Tell me! Please." He reached out and rested his hands on top of her shoulders. "Let's be simple about this − just blurt it out! Come on! Tell−"

"I'm in love with you!"

Oops.

_Quiddich._

_

* * *

_Wowza :) Bella can indeed handle pressure, haha..._  
_

_

* * *

_I'm still a bit overwhelmed with the response I got for Chapter 17 *impersonating Rudolph the reindeer now...yep when I blush, even my nose gets red, go figure* **THANK U** guys! Glad to know a lot of you shared my love for the song Collide, yay! Special mentions to the peepz who personally gushed about it to me: **Mwabee, Jecks, K, Grace** and **Anne**. A wave hello to **Trina, Bev** and **Mona**. And a special hello to** Twimom143**.

* * *

Oh and please vote for BHT at the Annual Glosp Awards. Voting is until October 26. To those who voted, thank you so much :) Link is in my profile (thanks D!)

* * *

Lastly, I wanted to thank **Jenn **from The Writer's Coffee Shop. She created this awesome BHT banner and if you want to see it, just go visit their fab site. Thanks Jenn!


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Twilight. At all. If I did, I'll be in Brazil right now with Rob and Kristen. Frankfurter my life.

* * *

Major thank you to** Izzzyy**, she's my super awesome beta. She scares people away and she tweets the most random things but I love her. To death. Thank you for everything D, BHT will not be as funny and as crazy without you. *sniff*

* * *

**Thank you's** (bcoz I tend to forget doing it if written as an at-the-bottom a/n)

BHT was pimped sooo good by **Fiorella** (Thanks!) at the latest update of **People Like Us**. I'm an idiot in posting links so please go check the story out (NGL, I read then reread her rec like a dork and was smiling all the way). You can read (and her reccing BHT) here and at TWCS.

To everyone who voted for BHT repeatedly at the Glosp Awards (I'm looking at you Anne, Jecks, Chuvas, Coven haha..) THANK YOU SO MUCH! BHT didn't win but just the same, I'm still crazy-giddy over the fact that it has been recognized. Yay *happy dance* Congrats to Hit by Destiny, btw. A much deserved win :)

Lastly, a reviewer congratulated me for reaching 1K reviews. I'm super overwhelmed you 'guise. Thanks!

* * *

Enjoy this chapter peepz. I did :)

* * *

**To Kaye. Or Kembie. **Sorry if it's...nah, I don't want to spoil anything girl. Muah!

* * *

Chapter 19

***crickets***

After ten minutes...

"..."

After twenty minutes...

"..."

***another group of crickets joined the first and formed a tribe***

_Boss? Bella just admitted that she's in love with you. Why aren't you saying something back?_

_Beh-laaaa? Beh-laaaa?_

"..."

_Boss! Come on! This is so not the time to go to Zombieland or wherever you are right now! Snap out of it and say something romantic! If your brain still cannot process properly, copy that famous line from that movie...let's see. Tell Bella "You had me at I'm", 'cause chicks dig that. Yeah, tell her that. Go on! Tell her! _

"_..."_

_What the hell, boss? Do you want me to hit you so you can snap out of whatever frozen funk you're in? News flash − I don't have hands so punching you is impossible. But I can twitch really well. _

Still nothing.

_Fine, I'll twitch then._

The twitching under Edward's boxers caught Catatonic A's attention, and was enough to distract her from her own frozen funk. Bella blinked at Anthony then discreetly looked at Catatonic B.

Edward still looked too shocked to function.

Bella mentally face palmed.

Grace under pressure. _Note to self, Google — if you could buy that in bulk and have it implanted in your brain or wear it like a nicotine patch or something that would be great. Seriously, dead silence has got to be the worst way of handling pressure! Just look at what you've done to Edward, Miss-I-blurt-out-everything! Gah!_

Bella straightened and felt the heaviness of Edward's hands on her shoulders. She snapped her fingers in front of his face, but the man didn't even blink. She raised her right hand, palm up, and considered hitting him on his face, but couldn't do it. She patted his cheek instead.

Nothing.

"Edward?" she tentatively called. "Are you okay?" _Is he even breathing?_

Zero response.

Bella frowned a little. _Seriously, is it _that_ shocking for him to know about my feelings? I f I'd known that he'd react this way I never would have said anything. I should have stuck to the plan and seduced him gradually. _She tried clapping in front of his face, loudly and obnoxiously – doing it in an around, up and down then around again style – but he didn't even flinch.

_Shock him, prude._

Shock Edward.

Bella's brow knitted in frustration._ How?_

_Skeweeeeze Anthoneee._

Marie even tingled after making that suggestion, the horny slut.

_No way, Marie!_

The brunette may have been denying it mentally, but there was no mistaking how her eyes went back to scrutinizing Anthony.

_Prude. You know you want to._

Bella pursed her lips, narrowed her eyes at Anthony, glanced at her twitching right hand then expelled a breath. _I am not sexually harassing Edward by doing this, right?_

Silence.

_Marie? Benedict Arnold? Anyone?_

No answer. Marie kept tingling, though, which gave Bella the confidence boost to reach out and "skeweeeeeze Anthonee" as what her slutty vagina had suggested.

So she squeezed. Hard.

Edward gasped at the contact.

Bella quickly pulled her hand away. "You're back!"

_Zeeee, Beh-laaa – It wuurked!_

"Uh, yep...I'm back." Edward cleared his throat. "Did you just, umm, _grip_ Anthony?"

_Stop gloating, Marie._ "I wanted to revive you from your twisted-coma-whatever, and that was the only thing that worked," Bella explained, blushing.

_Giggity. Nice one, boss. Smooth move. Go play dead again, and maybe we'll get Bella to give us head._

Edward wanted to choke Anthony to death. Then again, his perverted dick would love that. Anthony would think his "boss" was pleasuring him instead of killing him. _Stay away from this conversation, Anthony. Be quiet! I mean it! _He removed his hands from the top of Bella's shoulders then cleared his throat for the second time. "Bella?"

_He's going to ask me about my love confession! What to do? What to do? _"Uh, hmm?"

"Did you mean it?" Edward stared intently at her.

_Act nonchalant!_ "Mean what?" Bella avoided looking at Mr. Piercing Green Eyes.

"What you, erm, just said a few minutes ago."

_Be vague!_ "I kinda said a lot of things..." _Do not fidget, Bella! _

"You know...the _last_ part." Edward blushed.

_Boss, with all due respect, stop acting like the girl in this conversation! I mean the hedging and blushing? Geez, man up and own it! Be the dashing Prince Charming, not the blushing Princess. We have a rep, dude!_

Bella was at loss for words.

_Man up! Man up! Man up!_

Edward grimaced. _Stop chanting, Anthony, you're very distracting. Let me handle this!_ "Bella? Please look at me."

The brunette wrinkled her nose and blushed some more, but stayed looking at her clasped hands placed on her lap.

"I need to say something important, Bella. And this time, when I say it, I want you to be fully awake and coherent. No more unheard pronouncements. No more misunderstandings."

That totally got Bella's attention and curiosity. "What do you mean? What unheard pronouncements and misunderstandings?"

Edward took a deep breath. _I'll tell you about all that later._ "Did you know that Heidi broke up with me?"

"No. I assumed you broke up with her, as usual with your past relationships." Bella frowned. "Was it because of me and our arrangement?"

"In a way."

Bella's face fell. "I knew it! I feel so guilty."

Edward shook his head. "You have nothing to feel guilty about. Heidi broke up with me because she figured everything out and gave me the easy way to deal with things."

"Please explain."

A sigh. "When you left us that afternoon, Heidi wanted to have, erm, sex with me."

_Yikes. _"Umm, TMI?" _I love Heidi; I don't want to have any reason to be jealous of her. Please._

"Nothing happened, Bella." Edward paused. "Besides the fact that she couldn't get a response from me, I didn't want to do it."

Bella merely stared at him.

"Anthony wasn't affected by her at all."

The brunette wore a "lolwut?" expression on her face.

"She couldn't get Anthony to '_rise up to the challenge'_." He even made air quotes for Bella's benefit.

The "lolwut?" face remained.

_I really have to state the obvious_. "I didn't get an erection even when she paraded around the house naked."

"Oh." Bella nodded then cleared her throat. "Why?"

"I didn't want to do anything remotely sexual with any other woman – besides you – inside our house. Even outside of it, for that matter."

_Be still my heart_.

"Heidi was smart enough to recognize that fact. She told me that we had to break up because I belong to..." _This is it. This is fucking it!_ "...you."

Bella gasped.

"I owe Heidi big time for making me see what was there from the start, Bella." Edward blinked a couple of times. He wasn't usually an emotional person, but there really was something profoundly moving in telling the person you're one hundred percent in love with about your feelings.

_Good luck exchanging personal vows with Bella then, boss._

Ignoring his dick, Edward reached out to clasp Bella's hand tightly in his own. He entwined their fingers together then raised it to his lips to press a gentle kiss on top of their joined hands. "I'm in love with you too, Isabella Marie Swan. This is it for me. No one else _but_ you. _Just_ you. _Only_ you."

"R-really?"

Edward flashed his very potent crooked grin at her. "It took me three years to finally acknowledge it, and it was thanks to Heidi who brought everything out in the open, but yes, _really_."

Bella stared at their joined hands unblinkingly. Her heart was pounding in her chest; it seriously felt like it'd burst any minute from now. Brain was peacefully quiet, no wisdom to impart at the moment. Marie was with Brain in Quietville.

Her tear ducts were another matter.

Overwhelmed by Edward's confession, tears started streaming down Bella's cheeks. She sniffed and pursed her lips tightly but a sob or two still managed to escape.

"Those better be happy tears, baby."

Bella nodded still crying. "De-" Sniff. "...finitely." Hiccup. "Happy..." Sniff. "Tears." Sob.

Edward sighed and pulled her closer, enveloping Bella in the warmest, tightest hug she'd ever experienced. He pressed kisses on top of her head and murmured words that made both Bella and Marie tingle.

The brunette buried her face into her boyfriend's muscled chest and– wait! _Boyfriend? _She pushed Edward away and blinked up at him, sniffing.

Edward brushed a few strands of brown hair away from her face and lovingly tucked them behind her ear. If he was protective of Bella before, he felt ten times more so now. "What's on your mind, babe?"

"We are totally in love with each other," she said in awe.

He chuckled. "Duh."

"And because of that, um, are we in a relationship _now_?"

"Definitely," Edward confirmed, dropping a quick kiss on her upturned face.

Bella swallowed hard. "L-like...like, boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"Yep."

Oh.

From best buddies to couple.

Edward and her.

Edward...

Bella visibly paled.

"Manuscript!" she said loudly and walked out of her room. Locking herself in the nearest room where she could hide, Bella sat on the floor, leaned on the door and looked around. She was "hiding" in Edward's room.

Great.

_I am so not ready to have an _Edward_ boyfriend. I even messed up an _Eric_ − there's no way in Satan's abode that I will not frankfurter everything up with an _Edward_. No offense meant to Eric, but Edward is clearly a Grade A, top-of-the-line boyfriend. _

In a class of his own.

_And I'm just Bella._

Crazy, mousy, barely B-cup boobed Bella. _Ugh._ _I am so insecure I even disgust myself. Get a grip, Bella. You have better self-esteem than this!_

"Bella? Open the door, baby. Whatever's bothering you, we'll deal with it together. I promise!"

Bella wiped away the fresh tears that had fallen down her face and shook her head. "We can't. This...this..._us_, it's hopeless." She took a deep, calming breath. "We will never work."

Edward scowled at the door. _What the fuck?_ "You're not making sense, Bella. Let me in and we'll talk about it."

"I...I can't talk to boyfriend Edward," she replied, sniffing.

_What?_ "Why the fuck not?"

"I-I just can't."

Edward rested his forehead on the door and took a couple of deep breaths. _Be calm; keep calm. Do not freak out. Rein in your temper. Bella is in her over analyzing and over thinking mode. She's obviously reached a conclusion that a relationship between us is a mistake. Bullshit. I'm in love with her; she's in love with me, no mistakes there. _He started to pace. _I want to break the fucking door down and make her see sense._ He wanted to break the door that separated them, period.

_Boss, if Bella doesn't want to talk to boyfriend Edward, maybe she'll talk to best friend Edward._

Anthony's suggestion stopped Edward's pacing. For a perverted dick, Anthony could sometimes give some decent advice.

The prick preened. _And I'm sexy as well. Boo-yah!_

_This is worth a try, even if I don't know how to pull this off._ Edward knocked on the door. "Bella? Please let me in. Let 'best friend' Edward in. 'Boyfriend' Edward just left the building."

Bella stopped sniffing when she heard that. Let '_best friend' _Edward in? '_Boyfriend'_ Edward left? Huh?

_Look at what you did, prude. You turned your boyfriend into a schizophrenic just minutes after you acknowledged your feelings and relationship. Grow up and stop doubting yourself – if you kept this whiny-I'm-just-Bella stuff up, you will lose Edward. You want that?_

For once, Bella admitted how having an impudent brain helped in balancing her otherwise neurotic self.

She exhaled. "Edward?"

"Bella?"

"Please give me an hour." She sniffed. "Just let me process everything by myself and we'll talk in the living room." _Neutral territory. _

Bella's request was met by eerie silence.

"Edward? Please?"

"Okay. One hour." She heard Edward's loud sigh then he said, "I love you."

"I love you, too." No hesitations there.

Edward knocked once to signal that he'd heard her then everything was quiet.

Bella stood up and approached the sole witness to her D-Day – Edward's bed – and laid down, hugging one of her boyfriend's pillows to herself.

_Boyfriend. _The brunette wrinkled her nose. _Fact: I have no idea how to be a good girlfriend. Eric is the only committed relationship that I've ever had and that ended badly. I'm sure I'm a better friend than girlfriend. _She paused. _Aside from that,_ _how will I transition? I'm Edward's best friend first. This new development will totally shift everything that exists between us. And to be honest, I don't like how insecure I get having Edward as a boyfriend. I am content with what I have physically. I am not vain at all, and thanks to my family and friends I am loved and accepted just the way I am. Sure, Alice plays dress up with me from time to time, but at the end of the day she lets me be. But now, just mere minutes after acquiring a boyfriend, I've turned into this... _

Bella grimaced. _I am never that girl. I don't obsess over appearances. I don't base my self-worth on other people's opinions. Mom and Dad made sure of that. Even Uncle Phil and Aunt Van did the same when bringing up Alice and Ness. Some would call me sheltered, but honestly I prefer calling it nurtured. I am really lucky to have that kind of a parental unit. Not everyone is blessed with that. So to doubt myself now is totally disrespectful to my family._

Maybe it would be best for them to just be best friends, and nothing more.

Bella covered her face with the pillow and sniffed it, revelling in Edward's scent. _But I love him. To not at least give the relationship a chance is...tragic. A tragedy I'd bring upon myself. _She removed the pillow from her face and stared at the ceiling, contemplating the situation. _And it's not like I never, ever, let other people's opinion affect me. Of course there are times that I make decisions as a reaction to what someone said or did to me. Like my virginity. If Eric hadn't cheated, my hymen would still be intact. There would be no theory, no asking Edward for a favor, no D-Day...no boyfriend Edward._

No boyfriend Edward.

Bella had to admit that thought saddened her.

_Eric cheated and I witnessed it personally. _That _happened for a reason. I was meant to catch him red-handed with another woman. Edward was meant to see me that night, wallowing in front of a plate filled with spaghetti and meatballs, over analyzing the pain of getting cheated on to the extent where I zeroed in on my sexual inexperience as the reason why I was betrayed._

In life, it's _always_ about the choices people make and the _direction _of their lives comes down to the choices they make.

_I chose Edward that night. He warned me about the risk of us sleeping together. Back then, the meaning leaned more towards risking our friendship, but is that what we were really putting on the line for or was it something else?_

Bella sat up abruptly.

_I am getting ahead of myself here. Is it right to assume that even before D-Day, Edward and I had been attracted to each other already? That somehow we like each other beyond besties? But I wasn't even jealous of his past girlfriends! _She frowned. _I need to talk to Edward about this. Like, right now._

Walking towards the door, Bella was momentarily distracted by the picture on top of Edward's dresser. Wanting to see it up close, she detoured and approached the dresser instead. Picking up the frame, she smiled at how goofy they both looked, standing in front of The Fisherman's Wharf sign, laughing. She actually had the same picture on her corkboard, back in her room, mixed with other pictures of her family and friends that she collected over the years. Curiously, she looked around the room to see if there were other pictures on display and found none.

_Edward only has this one picture in his room._

Bella returned the frame to where it'd sat and, in purposeful strides, headed towards the door. When she opened it, the sight of Edward slumped on the floor with his knees bent, elbows resting on top of them and hands cradling the sides of his head greeted her. He quickly looked up after hearing the door open.

"Have you been sitting there all along?"

Completely ignoring Bella's question, Edward stated "You're breaking up with me."

_He looked so dejected._ Bella sighed and joined him on the floor. "That was one heck of a conclusion, considering I didn't even use an entire hour to process."

"Like it could still be considered news when a relationship of mine ends," Edward bitterly replied, finger-combing his hair. "How ironic that the only relationship I ever wanted only lasted about an hour."

"Edward..."

"Not that I blame you. Why would you even want to have a relationship with me, right? I'm a fuck up. You deserve someone who's a lot more like you."

_Now _that_ doesn't make sense._ "Huh?"

"You deserve someone who can offer you stability. I'm a fucking twenty-eight-year-old man and I'm still renting a house! On top of that, I have a dysfunctional family. You grew up surrounded by love and acceptance, while I was disowned because I didn't follow my parents' wishes. I've fucked around since I entered puberty, and you're pure and innocent." Edward scowled at nothing in particular. "Alec looked like he's really close to his Dad and sister. He owned a house and his hook-ups never made it to any men's magazine as cheap entertainment. You deserve Alec, or at least someone like him." More agitated hair pulling.

Bella gaped in surprise at the man beside her. _Oh my God. Edward is just as insecure as I am! I can't believe he feels he's unworthy of me when in fact it should have been the other way around! And how come he knows a lot about Alec anyway?_ "I'm not in love with Alec. I'm in love with _you,_" she pointed out.

Edward paused from his hair pulling to look at her. "I don't deserve you, Bella."

"I spent almost an hour freaking out in your room because I feel that _I _don't deserve _you_."

"That's a load of bullshit."

Bella bit her lower lip. "The first thought that entered my mind when you acknowledged that we are now a couple was _'I am so not ready to have an Edward boyfriend.'_ That was why I ran and locked myself in your room. I had to think, 'cause the very idea of having a boyfriend like you is scary."

"An '_Edward' _boyfriend?" Edward turned to face her, brows knitting in confusion. "You're scared to have a '_boyfriend like me'_? Did you just put me in some fucking category?"

"I did not do such thing!" Bella denied, paused, and then frowned. "Did I?"

"Yes!" Edward snapped, glaring at her. "I'm Edward, your boyfriend. Stop referring to me as if I'm a fucking brand of something. Get your 'Edward Boyfriend', only $9.99 if you order now," he scoffed. "If that isn't a label, I don't know what is."

A very loud sigh. "I'm only stating the obvious, Edward. I didn't label you at all! You're gorgeous, a successful businessman and your sexual prowess is public knowledge. You're one of Seattle's hottest bachelors. But compared to these other bachelors, you're..." Bella stopped talking and cringed. "...right. I totally categorized you."

"Yes, you really did."

Bella fidgeted. "It's just that...erm, it's hard to have you as a boyfriend, Edward, especially if _I'm_ the girlfriend."

_Back to being whiny and insecure again, prude?_

"We only became a couple an hour ago, Bella. It's totally unfair to say that it's hard for you to have me as your boyfriend when we've barely even started." Edward shook his head in frustration. "You're judging me based on what exactly?"

"Me! Based on _me!_" Bella replied on a shrill voice. "I'm just Bella, ordinary Bella. You should date someone beautiful, sophisticated and hot. You know, women the same level as you, while I stick to men the same level as me. Men like Eric."

Edward stared at her in disbelief. "Bella, if there was someone who should be second-guessing one's worth in this relationship, it should be _me_! I told you, I'm a fuck up. Good looks and knowledge in bed? Those fucking superficial things don't matter in the grand scheme of things! Besides, I still have a lot to prove before I could call myself a 'successful businessman.' I'm nobody special, Bella."

Emo A and Emo B stared at each other, speechless.

Bella's impudent brain wasn't feeling as emotional, though.

_Seriously? I so want to hit you both in the head right now for being whiny and insecure _together_. My God, prude, if that isn't a sign that you really do belong together; I'll stop being the Benedict Arnold in your life._

_Boss, stop this stupidity. You're doing serious damage to my cred. You are not pathetic. You _are_ special. _We_ are special. Repeat that eight times._

"I'm not usually this insecure..." Edward admitted after a long stretch of silence.

Bella nodded, biting her lower lip. "Me either – I have better self-esteem than this. And I don't normally judge people easily."

Emo B reached out to hold Emo A's hand and squeezed it gently. "Honest answer, Bella. It doesn't really bother you that I'm a fuck up?"

Bella frowned at him. "One, you were _never_ a frankfurter up. You've come a long way, and you proved to your parents that you could stand on your own even without their money and support. Second, Alec could own the White House for all I care, but I would never choose him over you. I mean it. I don't care if you're twenty-eight and still have no house to call your own. That doesn't measure the man that you are. But, for the sake of reminding you and also as an ego-boost, you own a _building_, Edward. You have property. And yes, you can call yourself a successful businessman because you _are_ one. Stop belittling yourself! "

_Boss, for the sake of ending this pity party for two, please stop thinking this "she's-too-good-I'm-too-unworthy blah blah blah" crap and focus on what matters: you both love each other. You're _in love_ with each other. That's what's important. Does it have to be your perfect dick that does all the validating here?_

Edward locked eyes with Bella and moved closer. "Let's make a deal."

"Deal?"

"Yep. I will stop doing this if you do." He smirked a little.

Bella narrowed her eyes. "Stop doing what?"

"You stop thinking that I deserve someone better or that I should be with a woman the same level as me." Edward turned serious. "There are no levels, Bella, just perceptions. Everybody has them, but I only care about yours. I care about your perceptions of me, specifically. So, I have to say this." He paused, muttered something under his breath that Bella failed to catch, and with a resigned look on his face, started talking again.

"I dated a lot. I fucked a lot. I used to have one-night stands, but three years ago I stopped having them and had relationships instead. Granted they didn't last long, but still, it was a vast improvement. I'm not the type to over-evaluate my behavior, even my choices, because to be honest I'd rather sweep them under the rug and not mull on them, but thinking about it now, I most likely had a change of heart when I met you. Only, in the back of my mind – shoved really deep – I considered you off-limits. I never had a girl-_friend_, a female buddy, I mean. I'd never even lived with anyone carrying the X chromosome except my mother. But why did I insist that I rent your apartment? Back then the nearness of the house to Masen's was the driving force, but was it really that reason alone?" Edward shrugged.

"Maybe I can't answer that and make sense of everything that has happened between us for the past three years, but I am more than capable of doing something about it _now_. I am honest to God in love with you, Bella. You're the only woman who has made me want to stay put and be part of something permanent. Try-anything Edward became all-settled Edward because of you. For the first time in my life, I am content with what I have and I could clearly see myself doing this for the rest of my life: expanding and running Masen's, living with you and sharing my life with you. I mean, I know this sounds like a proposal, and we'll get there someday, but for now, all I'm saying is that I really, truly am in love with you. I'm in love with the over thinking, weird, asks-the-most-inappropriate-questions, curious, over analytical, couldn't-curse-to-save-her-life, kindest and sexiest woman known to all as Isabella Marie Swan. And that's not my perception of you, that's the Bella I know and unconditionally, irrevocably love."

_Oh my God._

Bella swallowed hard and blinked. _I should have recorded what he just told me or something. I have to hear those words over and over again. Or use it as my personal ringtone for Edward._

Marie tingled in agreement.

Edward gazed at Bella expectantly. "Babe?"

Bella just stared back at him, eyes shining, but there weren't any signs that she'd burst into tears anytime soon. She actually looked calm for a change.

So he waited.

When Bella slipped her hand from his and stood up, he moved to follow, but the hand he'd been holding a minute ago stopped him. "Stay seated. Please."

So he remained seated. Thank God he stayed that way, because what Bella did next made his knees weak.

Blushing profusely but wearing a determined look on her face, Bella pulled her nightshirt up and off her body. Tossing the shirt away, she pushed her chest forward and closed her eyes. _Edward likes my tits. I do recall him admitting that, so I can do this. Just please calm down and stop sweating, Bella! The first time you seduce a man and you'll ruin it by wiping your armpits in front of him because you're disgustingly dripping! Ew. Just relax! _Exhaling loudly, she reached out and touched her nipples, both thumbs and forefingers tweaking what Edward's mouth and tongue wanted to lick and suck. _I'll get my turn soon. I hope._

Anthony hardened immediately.

"Be-Be..." Edward groaned. Loudly.

_He's stuttering and groaning. I'm an effective seductress! Yay!_

Her know-it-all-brain was not amused. _Prude, focus! Do not yay in the middle of seducing Edward. Keep doing it! And while you're at it, feel what you're doing to yourself and to Edward. Be erotic and bask in the sensations! _

_Right. Be erotic and bask in the sensations._ Bella played with her sensitive nipples some more and recalled how it felt when it was Edward's tongue doing the, ahem, playing.

Delicious.

"Shh, Edward. Let me do this..." Moan. "I don't know how you do it..." Groan. "...but, you're the only man...Oh God...who makes me feel...like this. God." Moving a few steps backward until she felt the wall touching her bare back, she leaned her entire upper body on it and opened her eyes. "Hearing you...say those words..." Hiss. "...made me feel...so...horny."

Anthony twitched nonstop.

Edward salivated. The sight of a half-naked Bella playing with her pink-tipped nipples would forever be etched on his mind.

Then Bella licked both her thumbs and pressed them again on her nipples, groaning as she did so, and Edward lost it.

Standing up, with Anthony stiff as a board and tenting his boxers, he quickly moved in front of Bella and pulled her to him, crushing his lips over hers in the process. Bella opened her eyes in surprise. Her almost-protest did not do anything but grant Edward's tongue access inside her mouth, an opportunity that he gladly took advantage of. Bella could feel him lick her upper teeth, the sides and the roof of her mouth until his tongue finally tangled with her own.

There would be no denying who was dominating this kiss.

Edward was sucking everything that she could offer, and the brunette could only moan in response. It felt like Mr. Piercing Green Eyes with the equally Piercing Delicious Tongue wanted to consume her by sucking her life force away.

Gasping for breath, Edward rested his forehead on Bella's as his mouth stayed hovering over hers, just providing the necessary space to breathe, but not losing skin-to-skin contact. He swiped his tongue over Bella's upper lip before taking little nibbles on her lower lip then back again to licking.

"I told you..." Deep, ragged breaths. "...to stay seated."

Edward smiled, still nibbling Bella's lip. "Sorry, but my girlfriend is standing in front of me, half-naked and touching herself. I couldn't stay away." He wrapped both his arms around her and pulled her closer until her naked chest rubbed against his shirt-clad torso. "I love you."

Bella placed her arms around his neck and cradled the nape with her hands. "I love you too." She kissed him, not as passionately as what Edward had done, but just as loving. "And it's a deal."

Edward took his mouth away from its hovering position over Bella's to gaze at her in wonder. "No more insecurities for either of us?"

Bella smiled a little. "To be honest, I think when you're this much in love with someone you're bound to feel unsure of yourself sometimes. It's not a happy feeling, but I'm pretty certain that there's no avoiding it, and as long as we're both honest about it and talk it out, we'll be okay. So, more like, it's a deal to work over our insecurities together whenever the need arise."

"Okay." Edward nodded. "I get jealous, like _crazy_ jealous."

"I get crazy, period."

They grinned at each other.

"I'm possessive."

Bella patted Edward's cheek. "I think we've already established the fact that we belong to each other. Not that I'll just shrug off the sight of tall, slender women flirting with you in the future..." She paused for a full second then added, "Or even petite, voluptuous women...hmm. Let's just say _any_ woman flirting with you."

"I have yet to see you get jealous." He actually sounded excited which made Bella frown. "Not that I'll do anything to make you jealous. I'm hopelessly devoted to you, Bella."

He said that with a perfectly straight face.

"Thank you for the assurance, Olivia Newton-John."

Edward chuckled. "No, seriously, I really am. I'm not interested in anyone but you, Bella, but, I have to be honest – it'd be nice to see you get jealous for a change. I'm always the one possessed by the green-eyed monster. That's why I'm curious to see how you'll react when you get jealous."

Bella pondered for a full minute. "I'm not really a jealous person," she admitted. "Then again, I haven't felt this way before, either. We'll see."

"I can't believe I'm anticipating my girlfriend's jealousy when that was a huge turn off for me before." Edward shook his head. "You've turned my world upside down, Bella."

"Ain't love grand?" Bella replied with a teasing smile.

They gazed at each other in wonder.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"Tell me, when will we go back to making out that will eventually lead to hot schmexin?" Bella inquired casually. "I mean, I'm half naked and Anthony has been poking me the entire time we've been having our conversation. The wall behind me feels comfortable enough, so..."

A sly grin spread over Edward's face. "Wall schmexin?"

Bella beamed. "Wall schmexin!" _New sexual position! Yay!_

_Abowt thimmme._

Leaning his head down, Edward kissed Bella again. It was a full out tongue-tangling, lip-biting, spit-swapping kiss. A kiss designed to up the horniness level to must-fuck-now-or-we'll-go-blind. He pushed her gently against the wall and pressed his hard body against her, hands moving down to cup her ass. One remained on her butt, while the other travelled across her lower thigh until it reached the back of her knee. He then raised her left leg and hooked it around his waist before his hand returned to its rightful place, cupping Bella's other butt cheek. His mouth moved down her neck, kissing and licking the sensitive skin there. Bella could only grab his shoulders and muscular arms and hold tight, whimpering at the sensation of his wet tongue repeatedly sliding over her neck and collar bone.

Aligning Anthony and Marie by lifting Bella a little, Edward pushed and rubbed his rigid dick over Bella's moist center. Even with the barrier of his boxers and her pajama bottoms, he could still feel Bella's wetness seep through. _Fuck!_ He moaned, rubbing harder, his hands tightening their grip on her butt. Missing Bella's mouth, he went back to kissing her, thrusting his tongue inside her mouth in tune with the rhythm of the pushing-and-pulling of his hips.

"Uhhh, yesss Edward...please, don't stop..._God!_" Bella begged, keening.

Edward grunted; frantically dry humping her, even if, between Bella's wetness and his steadily dripping pre-cum, nothing was left _dry_ anymore.

Pumping furiously, Edward released Bella's mouth and went straight to her nipples. It only took two long licks, a swirl and a suck and the brunette came undone. Bella's breath hitched, she bit the side of her lower lip and enthusiastically cried Edward's name, squeezing her eyes shut when the glare of light exploding under her lids became too intense.

God waved hello. So did Cedric Diggory.

Edward willed Anthony to not cum even if he could feel his balls tingle after witnessing Bella orgasm like that. Her cheeks were flushed, along with her chest. She was still breathing hard and yet, if Edward heard it correctly, she was humming something under her breath.

"Baby?" he called tentatively, attempting to unhook the leg around his waist to make her more comfortable. However, Bella stubbornly kept her leg there and lifted the other one, hooked it around the other side of his waist and crossed her ankles on his lower back, securing herself to him. "You never fail to surprise me. I didn't expect that kind of reaction to my confession." Edward gave his girlfriend a peck on her slightly swollen lips. "You're free to react the same way from now on, okay? You'll hear no complaints from me."

Bella opened her eyes, now breathing evenly and still humming softly to herself. She flashed Edward a serene smile and gave him a hug. Edward shivered feeling Bella's entire body pushed against him. He shivered some more when her mouth hovered over his right ear, her breath unintentionally tickling him. Moving his hands up to her back, he hugged her tighter. Edward anticipated a light nibble on his ear or even a lick but neither happened. Instead, Bella whispered words.

"You think I'm pretty without any make up on, you think I'm funny when I tell the punch line wrong, I know you get me so I let my walls come down, down... Let's go all the way tonight, no regrets, just love. We can dance until we die, you and I, we'll be young forever."

Brows knitting, Edward pushed Bella slightly away from him. "What?"

Bella giddily held his face, rubbed her nose against his before giving him a peck on the lips. Then she locked eyes with him and enunciated the rest of her words. "You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream, the way you turn me on. I can't sleep, let's run away and don't ever look back. Don't ever look back. My heart stops when you look at me, just one touch now baby I believe. This is real so take a chance and don't ever look back. Don't ever look back."

Edward smiled. "Is that a song?"

"Yep, I'm too blissed out to sing, so I opted to just say the words," Bella explained, cheeks pinking a little. "I meant every single word, though. Thank you, Katy Perry. My dream – teenage or otherwise – has come true, and that's because of you, Edward Cullen."

He dropped a light kiss on her lips. "I promise to never, ever look back. Instead, I'll move forward with you."

_Cheesy, boss, but so sincerely said it even moved _me_. Kudos to you._

Bella made an _aww_ face. "Ditto."

They sealed the pronouncement with a kiss.

Anthony started humping the air. He was like a dog in heat.

Marie started tingling like there was no tomorrow. She was like, well, a pussy in heat.

"I want you all the way now," Bella mumbled.

Edward mock-scowled at her. "How come in this relationship, you're always the first one to say everything? You beat me saying 'I'm in love you', and now this?"

"Don't blame me, slowpoke. Come on, I need to be naked for this and you—"

"See!" Edward interrupted, putting Bella down gently. "I should be the one saying that!"

Bella rolled her eyes. "Sheesh, please stop complaining. It's lame." She pulled her bottoms down while openly watching Edward take his clothes off. "Dude, physically you're like...wow."

Edward smirked. "Thanks. Glad to know the girlfriend appreciates the body." Then he pulled his boxers down, releasing Anthony from his confines, which made "the girlfriend" whistle.

"He's mine, right?" Bella asked, eyeing Anthony intently.

"Of course," Edward confirmed and stared at Marie possessively. "She belongs to me, right?"

"Yes."

They gazed at each other's privates for a full minute.

_Boss, Bella will not orgasm with you just staring at my Marie like that. Geez, dude, neither will I – I need friction and skin to skin action. Get to it!_

_Beh-laaaaa. I waaant Anthoneeee. Naaaaaw!_

"You want to continue this in my room?"

Bella shook her head. "I want wall sex, Edward."

He grinned and walked closer to her until they're almost just a breath apart. "Then wall sex it is."

* * *

Ahem.

Bella hummed then recited **Katy Perry's Teenage Dream** to Edward. Love it :)

* * *

Chapter 20 is supposed to be the final chapter guys. We'll see :)


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: SM own everything Twilight. I'm just a fan.

* * *

I want to apologize for the delay. Sorry 'guise. RL sucked. Big time :( But I'm back now so...yay! Thanks to **Izzzyy**, my frankfurter-awesome Beta. She puts up with my crazy e-mails and obsessive tendencies. Love you D! Also, a special shout-out to a group of perverts (haha!) who never ceased to ask me for update scheds during the _dark times_, a.k.a When Real Life Got In The Way Of My Other More Fun Life. So, smooches to **Jecks**, **Mwabee**, **K**, **Anne**, **bb Ruth**, **Grace** and the rest of the **Coven girls** over at PEX. Thanks for hanging in there.**  
**

* * *

Btw, **THIS IS NOT THE FINAL CHAPTER. **Just saying *grins* ENJOY!

* * *

Chapter 20

Rehab.

Bella scrubbed her chest, underarms and arms vigorously with a loofah as she contemplated her decision. Marie would have to be sent to rehab. Her insatiable vagina needed treatment as soon as possible. It was one thing to anticipate copulation; it was another to expect it every time Edward was in the vicinity.

_It's downright embarrassing!_

Benedict Arnold, formerly Brain, sneered. _You, embarrassed?_ _Someone who just used the word _copulation_? _

Bella rolled her eyes. _Well, I can use coitus. Hear that, Benedict? _Coitus._ Is it too big a word for you? It means __sexual union between a male and a female involving insertion of the penis into the vagina.__ Understand now?_

Marie tingled.

_Inseeert Anthoneeeee. Naaaaw._

_Oh, God._ Bella covered her face, mortified beyond belief. She couldn't help but feel a sense of déjà vu remembering how the hussy – in her crazy and shrilly Fran-Drescher voice – shrieked _Anthoneeeee _every single time Edward thrust during their, errm, lovemaking.

In.

_Anthoneeeee._

Out.

_Anthoneeeee._

Indescribable hip move, clockwise.

_Anthoneeeee._

Still indescribable hip move, counterclockwise.

_Anthoneeeee._

The brunette cringed. That much noise, while she was just trying to _feel_...Bella shook her head. _Definitely rehab for you, Marie. If that means no schmexin for the foreseeable future, so be it._

Clenching.

_Huh._ Bella huffed at the slut's reaction to the schmexin ban. So, supposedly, in vagina-speak, clenching meant protesting. Go figure.

"Babe?"

Her Royal Slutness paused from her clenching and went back to tingling.

_See? That's just his voice and the tingles begin._ Bella pulled her hair in frustration before acknowledging Edward's call.

"Jess is on the phone. I told her you're taking a shower but she insisted to talk to you. She said it's an emergency."

An emergency, in Jess speak, meant man trouble, which, again in Jess speak, meant _James _trouble, considering her friend seemed to be obsessing over the guy lately. Bella sighed. _Poor Jess._ "Okay, babe. Please tell her I'll call her in five minutes. Tops."

"Sure, babe."

Bella raised her hands up and twirled giddily. _Edward and I are now down to babe this and babe that._ _Suuu-weeeet. _She quickly rinsed, knowing her friend would undoubtedly pour her heart out for thirty minutes or so, something both Bella and Edward couldn't afford right now. They had to be somewhere by eleven this morning.

_Good luck to us._

When she slid open the glass door, Edward was there waiting for her. He was holding a towel in one hand and had a smirk on his handsome face, eyes blatantly glued to certain parts of her body.

Marie, the sex addict, tingled and throbbed.

Bella blushed and automatically covered the sex addict with both her hands, boobies forgotten. "Eeek!"

_Ugh. Can't you manage a sexier exclamation than that? Where are the big words now? Way to turn off the new boyfriend, Bella. We want to keep this one for a long, long time, so do us a favor and snap out of it._

Bella fought the urge to bitch slap her brain.

"Your towel awaits, my lady."

Marie was definitely gushing at this point.

"T-thanks." Bella snatched the towel away, her face all red, and hurriedly wrapped herself in it like a burrito.

A burrito Edward would gladly eat. "I love how nudity still embarrasses you, considering we did a lot this morning."

The brunette started to blink rapidly as flashes of her buck-naked boyfriend pinning her to the wall, his muscular hips rhythmically undulating as he oh-so-deliciously penetrated...

_Anthoneeeee._

Bella cringed at the needy whining. If her vagina could disengage from her crotch, she was one hundred percent sure that Miss Nympho would do so and then promptly jump Anthony. Picture Pac-man gobbling down those dots and that'd be Marie greedily taking Anthony in...Bella's face turned even redder at the visual.

"I'll bet you just had a naughty thought."

Reverting back to her twenty-five-year-old mature self, Bella stuck out her tongue at her too-smug-for-his-own-good boyfriend. "After everything we did just a couple of hours ago, you could never blame me for having NC-17 thoughts, Edward Cullen."

"_Thoughts,_ huh?" Mr. Smug noted with a smirk. "Not just one, but a lot. Interesting."

"Shut up. You said so yourself, we did a lot," Bella pointed out. "So much that I could probably write my own Kama Sutra or something. I did take down notes, you know." _Oh yes, I did. _"Excellent." She even tapped her fingers together, completing her Mr. Burns impersonation.

Edward burst out laughing. "Thinking of changing genres?"

_Yep, why not? Give Victoria Horne some competition. _The newly-discovered sex guru beamed at the thought. _Frankfurter, yeah! _She nodded.

"Sorry, babe, but we still have a lot of other positions to cover before you could definitively write your own book."

Hearing Edward's comment immediately burst Bella's bubble. Could she actually do those Kama Sutra positions? Undiscovered muscles would definitely be given a workout if, or when, they tried it. Their wall schmexin alone had done a number on her upper thighs and lower back already. _Should I even attempt yoga in preparation for that?_

"I can't wait to do everything with you, Bella."

_Everything? _Blink. _Even anal? _More blinking. _Yikes. The hole in my butt just closed up in fear. Seriously. I felt it._

"You know that I will never do anything to hurt you, right?" Edward gently asked, reaching out to tenderly tuck a lock of wet hair behind Bella's ear. "We'll do everything at your own pace, baby. And if you don't want to do something, just tell me and we won't do it. You speak, I follow. You're the driver, I'm the willing passenger."

Their eyes met and held.

"_Let's have some fun, this beat is sick_

_I wanna take a ride in your disco stick."_

Anal sex anxiety forgotten, Bella mulled over the song that popped in her head. _Lady Gaga does know what she's singing about. Hail to the Gaga!_ _Although, to be honest, I wouldn't really call Anthony a _stick_._ _Anthony_ _is way thicker, bigger...studlier than a stick._ If she were Lady Gaga, the song would be like this:

"_Let's have some fun, this beat is sick_

_I wanna take a ride on Edward's..."_

Bella's forehead creased in concentration. _Dick? Prick? Pole?_ She made a face. The last one didn't even rhyme. _Meh. Well, either of the first two words, then._

The ringing of the phone put a stop to the wannabe songwriter's musings.

"That'll be Jess."

"Definitely," Edward confirmed, leaning in to give Bella a quick kiss on the lips before walking inside the shower stall. "She sounded really upset."

"Talk about pressure," Bella sighed. "I wish I had more time to cheer her up." She shook her head and walked out of the bathroom, muttering God knew what to herself. She was just two steps away from the phone when it stopped ringing. "I'll put on some clothes first then I'll call Jess," she decided when the phone remained silent even after she waited for about five minutes.

It was only when Bella heard Edward's whistling while she was in the middle of buttoning her jeans that it occurred to her that the boyfriend was taking a shower inside _her_ bathroom. Girlfriend straightened and smiled to herself. _We really are upping the ante. I better ask Edward who moves in with whom soon. I love my room and all, but to be honest, I'd rather move in with him._

"You're out of towels, babe."

"Uh..." whatever thought Bella might have had completely flew out of the window seeing Edward standing in her bathroom's doorway.

Naked.

_Anthoneeeee. _

_I will never question the elasticity of a woman's vagina ever again._ Bella swallowed audibly, openly gawking at the Greek God personified in front of her. Or, more specifically, at the stud that was Anthony. Even flaccid, Edward's godly penis looked – cue the blushes and tingles – big.

Ginormous.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"Towel?"

_And cover Anthony? I don't think so._

Edward chuckled. "So you want me naked all the time now, babe?"

_Quiddich! I said it out loud. Now my perviness is out in the open, thank you very much Spazzy Izzy._

"Sure, but you have to do the same," Edward continued playfully. Insert schmexy smirk and the massively suggestive wiggling of eyebrows.

Bella's red face turned even redder. "Please stop embarrassing me." She expelled a breath and avoided looking at Anthony. "Girlfriend privileges."

Edward gave her a look so smoldering she could literally feel the heat. On her part, Marie gushed like friggin' Niagara Falls. Mayday, mayday! Horny Bella has just entered the building. In an attempt to at least control her horniness, she squeezed her thighs tightly together and cringed when that made Miss Nympho tingle some more. _Is it possible to orgasm just by squeezing my thighs like this? Am I stimulating Marie by doing it? Pfft. As if she needs any more stimulation..._The brunette's eyes widened in alarm._ Am I unconsciously masturbating? In front of Edward? Ewww. _She quickly parted her legs and moved her left foot a step away from the other.

Her Greek God boyfriend saw the horrified look on Bella's face and immediately walked over to her in concern. "Hey, you okay? What's going on?" He encircled his arms around her and pulled her closer.

The moment Edward's bare skin brushed hers Bella closed her eyes and bit her lip. She could make out God's shadow and someone dancing beside him, but it was still too fuzzy to confirm. _I think I'm capable of reaching infinity and beyond just by Edward's skin touching mine. _She trembled and moaned.

Anthony hardened at the sight of trembly, moany and all-flushed Bella. Edward's breath hitched. _She's aroused. Fuck. Me._

_No, boss. Fuck _her_. _His dick twitched._ We're always horny anyway. We can do this! _

Edward mentally protested. _We have no time for this right now, Anthony._

_Mr. Tongue and the Fingers are as talented as I am, boss. I'm sure you can bring her off in minutes. She's ripe for it. Just look at her! _

Bella's eyes opened as she felt Edward's hands creep down to her hips. She blinked at him in confusion. "E-Edward?"

"Shh," he mumbled. "I'll be quick." And he unceremoniously knelt down in front of Bella, opening her jeans and zipping them down in one smooth move. The moment her aroused scent wafted in the air, Anthony started leaking precum.

Bella gasped as she watched her boyfriend pull down her jeans and leaned a bit closer to smell – _Oh My God!_ – Marie. "Wha-Oh, God!" She squeezed her eyes shut and panted like a female dog in heat.

Tongue. Lapping at the panty-covered Marie.

Edward, her Sex God Edward, lifting her left leg up and putting it on his shoulder.

_I'm so open._

Edward pushed her panties to the side and dipped his index finger inside.

Bella shuddered at the sensation. _I'm so wet. _

Index finger got lonely and was soon joined by middle finger who, in turn, paid homage to Miss Clit.

_So, so squishy wet. _She groaned_. And Miss Clit is so, so sensitive. And throbby._

Edward's agile tongue replaced his finger in making Miss Clit happy.

Lapping. Sucking.

_Oh God._

Tongue and fingers in tandem. A sensual duet.

Push. Suck. Pull. Lap.

_Ohhh._

Bella's knee started to wobble. Her hands clutched Sex God's hair. Tightly.

One final suck at Miss Clit and God waved hello to her. So did Patrick Swayze as he continued gyrating beside God, wearing super tight leather pants and nothing else. Huh. _So God lets Mr. Swayze wear leather and re-enact Dirty Dancing to his heart's content in heaven? Cool._

"Babe?"

Blissed out, happy Bella opened her eyes and smiled down at her boyfriend. "God says hi." _I don't think Edward would appreciate me seeing Patrick Swayze during orgasm though._

Edward chuckled, zipping and buttoning Bella's jeans once again before finally standing up. "I'd rather not know how and when you got that message." He tenderly dropped a quick peck on top of her nose and lips before murmuring "Did I satisfy you, my lady?"

"Yes, you did, my dashing Sex God, you."

The smirky smug grin came back in full force. _Fuck yeah, I am a_ _Sex God._ Anthony strutted and preened at his boss' ever-humble thoughts. Edward could have completed the supremely narcissistic moment with a comment, but incessant knocking interrupted him. Then Jessica Stanley's "Bella, open the door, it's me!" shrieking followed. To say she sounded upset to the point of hysteria would be an understatement.

Girlfriend and Boyfriend exchanged a PG-13 kiss and separated. Bella trotted towards their front door while Edward rushed to his own room to put on some clothes. When Bella opened the door, Jess, clutching two boxes of tissues and wearing mismatched shoes, greeted her.

"Hey, Rudolph."

Jessica burst into tears.

"Oh God, I'm sorry. I know that was a lame joke but..." Bella wanted to strangle herself at her insensitivity. _This is so not the time for the lame funnies, Bella! _"Jess, come on. Get in and we'll cry together if you want." She reached out, using both her thumbs to wipe the tears from her friend's cheeks then put an arm around the blonde and ushered her in.

Edward heard the wailing and grimaced. He resisted the urge to take a peek and see what was going on now in their living room. He could hear Bella calming her friend, though. He wouldn't be surprised if he heard two women crying their hearts out soon. _This is so not the time for Jessica Stanley's drama. _Bella, God bless her heart, tended to get all teary herself when exposed to the sad/mushy/sentimental/what-the-fuck-ever-circumstances that most women cried over. _Speaking of drama..._He picked up his cell phone on top of his bedside table and regarded it with a look. _I did promise Bella I'd call them and make amends. _

Easier said than done.

Edward gripped the phone and sighed out loud. _Am I ready to do this?_ He frowned. _Fuck it. A promise is a promise. _He scrolled through the names and made a face. _Right, I don't have the Doc's nor Stepford Wifey's number. _

Hello, reprieve.

_If only my ears could enjoy the same luxury. _Edward thought, wincing at the high pitched noise outside his room.

"I caught them!" Wail. "James was on his knees, giving that home wrecker slut a bunch of Australian kisses!"

Bella's brows knitted in confusion. _Australian kisses? What the heck are those?_

"I went to pee and there they were." More tears and wailing. The blonde reached for something inside her pocket, took hold of her cell phone and did some fiddling before shoving it to Bella's hands. "Look at this." Sniff.

Bella lifted the phone, blinked at the picture; squinted, raised the phone closer to her then looked at the picture intently.

She nearly dropped the phone when the photo finally made sense.

_Bleach my eyes. Please bleach my eyes. Why did I even look at it?_ Oh, God! She shoved the phone back at her crying friend, cringing and rubbed her eyes a couple of times, as if the act alone could erase what she had seen. "Jess!" she sputtered. "What on earth possessed you to take a picture of James performing cunnilingus on Victoria Horne?"

Jess blew her nose and shrugged. "She gave the ugliest 'I'm in the middle of an orgasm' face and I just wanted to get back at her somehow, so I took a souvenir photo. Maybe I'll put it all over the internet."

Bella could only give her friend an incredulous look.

Raising the phone and pointing at the picture, Jess screamed. "This is evidence, Bella! The bastard chose this monkey-faced slut over me! Who in their right mind would pick this ugly whore over me? Who?"

Bella pulled out a couple of tissues and gave it to her friend. "Uh...ahmm..."

"He was carpet munching this bitch. God! I hate him. I hate him so much!"

The phone was thrown at the hallway leading to Bella and Edward's respective rooms. Bella wrinkled her nose when she heard the crashing sound it made when it landed on the floor. _Goodbye phone_.

Edward's door opened and their eyes met across the room. Bella shook her head at him and he just nodded his head, closing the door again. She turned to Jess and enveloped her in a tight hug. "I know it hurts right now, sweetie, but sooner or later you'll realize that James is not really who you want and you'll move on."

Jess hugged her tighter and sniffed. "It's different this time. I'm in love with the idiot, Bella."

"Are you sure? You're in love with love most of the time, Jess," Bella responded. The entire Masen's employee pool – minus Tyler – could attest to that fact.

Silence.

Then Jess pushed Bella away and sat up. "I'm in love with James." Sigh. "He's not Jasper or Mike or Ben or even Edward. What I feel for him is more intense than what I felt for the others. It's real this time, Bella. Way real." Her face twisted and she burst into tears again.

Bella's tear ducts didn't stand a chance.

_I knew it_. Edward banged his head on the door hearing the duet in the living room. Jessica's wails were shriller, but it was Bella's sobs that made his gut hurt. _Fuck this shit_. He opened the door and purposely strode towards the living room when a loud knock on their front door made him detour.

"Hey boss and master. Is Bella around?"

Tyler.

Edward sighed in relief. _Perfect timing_. "Yes. Come in."

"What the hell is that noise?" his bartender inquired as he walked inside the house. "Do you have hyenas now for pets?"

Both walked side by side towards the living room where the noise turned a notch higher. Tyler winced at the high-pitch wailing. "Jessica is crying over James and Bella is crying because Jess is heartbroken and hurting," Edward explained.

"Oh. That." Tyler nodded in understanding. "The new writer – Miss Redhead – and dear old James were polluting the ladies room last night. Miss Horne was very loud."

They both turned their heads and watched as Brunette and Blonde cried their eyes out, holding onto each other as if their lives depended on it.

"But not as loud as Betty and Veronica over there."

Edward chuckled. "I'll get them something to drink; you do whatever voodoo magic you can to stop the fucking waterworks."

Tyler batted his lashes at Edward and then shook his head at the sight before him. In a loud, clear voice he announced, "My pussy has shrivelled up and died witnessing this manic cry fest."

Edward pretended to cough to cover the laugh that came out upon hearing Tyler's words. He glanced at his bartender as he walked away, smirking at the sassy wink thrown his way.

"No dick is worth this much grief, ladies."

_I beg your pardon?_

Edward sighed. _Stay out of this, Anthony. This isn't about you. _He grabbed two bottles of water and stealthy returned to the living room just in time to catch some parts of Tyler's story.

"...so I thought of inviting Bella for a chick-flick marathon. My honey and I need a break, since I'm too sore right now from our own marathon—"

Doing an about face, Edward hurriedly went back to the kitchen, putting the bottles on top of the breakfast bar as he slumped on one of the stools, completely blocking out his bartender's voice by humming the song he sang to Bella last night.

_Why not eavesdrop, boss? Maybe you can learn a thing or two from the gay dude._

Edward scoffed. _I don't need lessons from anybody. Besides, I don't think Bella would like Tyler's kind of fucking._

_Well, I do prefer boinking Marie anyway. No offense to Bella's ass, but I'm loyal. A certified one-hole-man, if you know what I mean, although, I have no objections to blowjobs and titty-fucking. _

_Nice to know, Anthony, _Edward sarcastically replied, _especially since I live only to cater to your needs._ He glowered at his crotch. _It isn't boinking, you fucker. We _make love_ to Bella and Marie. Got that? Stop disrespecting our women._

"Hey."

Edward's woman was standing behind him, looking like someone had kicked her puppy.

"Hey you," he greeted back and patted the stool beside him. "Sit down and drink this. I'm pretty sure you're parched with all the crying."

Bella's chin wobbled and her eyes started tearing up again. "Poor Jess. I've never seen her this hurt before."

"She'll get over it." He was sure of that. Jessica Stanley was like Teflon when it came to life's harsh realities. The blonde might be heartbroken today, but Edward was certain that she plotted and researched enough to make everything sway in her favor by tomorrow. Or, at least that she'd get some harmless revenge, whichever worked. _Poker night would then be poke-fun-at-James night._ He grinned to himself.

"For her benefit, I hope it'll happen soon."

Edward watched Bella drink water and impulsively leaned in to kiss her temple, tenderly brushing a few wisps of hair away from her face.

"What's that all about?" His woman practically glowed.

He shrugged, feigning nonchalance but the rapid beating of his heart proved otherwise. "I just felt like doing it."

Bella put down the bottle and gazed at the man beside her, a thoughtful expression on her face.

"What?" _Do not even dare blushing, Edward. And Anthony? Behave._

His girlfriend hesitated.

"Bella?"

"I'm about to get really cheesy," the brunette warned seriously. "And corny."

He grinned. "Okay."

"I love you. So much." Bella's cheeks start to redden. "Seeing Jess cry like that, hearing her pain...it made me realize just how elusive true love can be. I mean, not everyone's given a chance to meet and love and be loved by one special person. Some even missed their chance." She looked sad for a second. "And then there are others, like Jess, who are brave enough to put themselves out there and love with all their hearts but got nothing in return. In Jess' personal experience, it was seeing the love of her life giving cunnilingus to another woman in a public toilet. Or, in Jess' words: 'carpet munching the bitch.'"

Bella cringed.

Shoving the latter part – _talk about TMI!_ – to the deepest recesses of his mind, Edward cleared his suddenly dry throat. "I'm your true love?"

_Somebody's hedging_, came Anthony's teasing voice. _Fishing for more Bella adoration, boss? You are so needy sometimes. How adorkable._

Edward bristled. _Somebody is not even part of this conversation. Shoo!_

"Of course you are."

The certainty in Bella's voice weakened Edward knees. Butterflies started swirling in his stomach.

_Congratulations, boss, you are now a certified hermaphrodite. I have a twin and it's a vagina. Hmm, I'm still the dominant one, right?_

"You're my true love, first love, only love and forever love rolled into one."

True love.

First love.

Only love.

Forever love.

He couldn't even focus on one. All four were significant. Epic. It was like Bella telling him he was her everything.

_I'm Bella's everything._

Edward glanced at his trembling hands and lifted one up to weave through his hair. He bit his lower lip. Hard. _Fuck you, man, don't give in. Don't give in. Don't fucking – fuck!_

He tried to turn his face away and hide the fact that his vision started to blur because of the tears but Bella saw it anyway. She was on him in seconds, hugging him, whispering soothing words that made him more fucking emotional.

_Get a hold of yourself Edward Cullen, or Anthony may really turn into Antonette._

_Noooooooooooooooooooooooo! I'm a dude. I'll always be a dude._

He held Bella's face in his hands and huskily told her "I fucking love you so much," before pulling her to him and kissing her passionately.

"Yowza."

"Oh my God!"

The couple separated, both flushed and gasping for breath.

Tyler and Jessica were standing a few feet away, mouths gaping open in shock. Tyler was the first one to recover. "That was some kiss, my oh my!" he hooted.

"When did this happen?" Jess asked in an awestruck voice.

Bella looked apologetically at her. Edward was staring at Bella as if life started and ended with her. The supposedly heartbroken blonde started jumping up and down in happiness. Puffy eyes and red nose forgotten, she came charging towards them like a bull. "This is the best news ever! I'm so happy for you!"

"Uh...thanks?" Bella replied wincing at the tight hug. She watched as Jess turned to high-five Edward and couldn't help but smile at how giddy her friend looked. She saw the blonde leaned and whispered something to Edward who appeared smug for a second before breaking into the biggest grin she'd ever seen from him. _I hope to God she didn't say anything naughty or pervy._

"You are each other's 'I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing'!" Jess exclaimed cheerfully.

Edward asked. "What the hell does that mean?"

"Ty will explain. I have to go to the bathroom and wash my face. Be back in a jiffy."

All three watched Jessica skip happily away from them and exchanged looks.

"She's _skipping,_" Edward noted in amusement.

Tyler chuckled. "James will never know what hit him."

_See?_ _She's plotting already_. "I'd rather not know."

"It might actually work."

Bella turned to Tyler in alarm. "Why? What does she plan on doing?"

"She's going to do a complete 360 and be Miss Hard to Get."

Edward burst out laughing. Bella looked extremely worried. "I wish she would just move on and find someone else. She deserves happiness, and I'm afraid if she insists on this thing with James, she'll only get more hurt in the process."

Tyler put an arm around her shoulders and kissed her head. "Love hurts, sweets. There's no going around it. But when it doesn't? It's so, _so_ good." He beamed, thinking of his own stud and the magical thing Marcus had done with his tongue just this morning before he served him breakfast in bed. He shivered. _Yum._ "Besides, James is Jess' 'I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing'. She would never give him up."

"That again. What the fuck does it mean, Ty?" Edward asked curiously.

"You know Aerosmith, right?"

Nod.

"So you do know their song 'I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing'?"

"Not really."

Bella gave him a calculating look then rolled her eyes seeing the twinkle in Edward's eyes. She mouthed "liar" at him.

"Well, whatever, try listening to the song or watch it in YouTube or something. Anyways, that song talked about..." Tyler paused for a second and teasingly winked at Bella, "...true love, first love, only love and forever love all rolled into one. Well, it depends really to the person listening. But in a nutshell, the lyrics of that song...Oh, my." He fanned himself, "It's like the sweetest, most romantic love song ever."

Edward remained stoic.

"Have you watched Armageddon?"

"The movie where the world nearly ended?"

"Yes! The song was part of the movie's soundtrack."

"You mean to tell me, and I quote, '_the sweetest, most romantic love song ever'_, unquote, was from a movie about the world _ending_?"

"Stop making fun of me− you're ruining the moment!" Tyler scowled. "Yes, it was. You're right. But even then, the song only helped emphasized the power of love. The world may have been ending and all, but Ben Affleck would forever love Liv Tyler. Well, at least the _characters_ they portrayed in the movie, anyway."

Bella bit her lip then nodded. "It kinda is an epic love song now that I think about it."

"Sugar, there is no _kinda_ in it. It really, truly is." The bartender did a finger-and-neck snap combo thing to punctuate his words. "Just like your own love story."

Sugar blushed and glanced at Edward, who went back to staring intently at her.

_Anthoneeeee is my 'I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing'._

Bella mentally rolled her eyes. _Here we go again. Be quiet, Marie._

"I'm ready for the chick flick marathon!" Jessica announced with a little dance, joining them.

"Sorry, guys, but Edward and I are meeting the family for brunch. Rain check?"

Tyler and Jess exchanged cheeky looks.

"Does this mean what Tyler and I think it means?

Edward entwined his fingers to Bella's and squeezed. "If you're thinking that we're meeting the Swans and Dwyers to officially tell them that we're together, then yes."

It took both Bella and him five minutes to settle the craziness that resulted from his statement. Edward more or less knew now what to expect when the time came for them to inform everybody of their engagement, wedding, having a baby..._I refuse to acknowledge the cheesy grin on my face right now._

When the two nuts finally left, Edward pulled Bella to him and gave her a tight hug.

"I love you."

"Love you, too," Bella whispered back.

They exchanged monster grins.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"I just want to warn you."

"Warn me about what?"

"That I'm going to be extremely cheesy." He dropped a kiss on her nose. "And annoyingly corny."

She giggled. "Okay."

Right there in the middle of their living room, Edward started swaying to some imagined music with Bella tucked in his arms. Bella instinctively followed the subtle swaying, arms tightening on Edward's waist, her head on his chest, unashamedly basking in the warmth and closeness. _What a perfect moment. _She sighed contentedly.

Then Edward started singing quietly in her ear and it just became even more perfect.

_I could stay awake just to hear you breathin'__  
__Watch you smile while you are sleeping__  
__While you're far away and dreaming__  
__I could spend my life in this sweet surrender__  
__I could stay lost in this moment forever__  
__Where every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure_

_Don't wanna close my eyes__  
__I don't wanna fall asleep__  
__Cause I'd miss you babe__  
__And I don't wanna miss a thing__  
__Cause even when I dream of you__  
__The sweetest dream will never do__  
__I'd still miss you babe__  
__And I don't wanna miss a thing._

Bella stood in tip toes and held the sides of Edward's face. "You didn't know the song, huh?"

He winked. "Nope."

She brushed her lips to his. "Right."

"But there was a time that I idolized Bruce Willis so much, I watched all of his movies," Edward clarified, grinning. "So, I may have watched Armageddon more than twenty times and sang the song to a Liv Tyler poster a couple of times too, pretending I was Ben."

Bella burst out laughing. "Should I be jealous of Miss Tyler?"

"Never." Edward answered. "You, Miss Isabella Marie Swan, are my 'I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing'."

_Aww._ "I love you, Edward Cullen."

"I love you too, baby." _I did learn something from Tyler after all. _

* * *

Cheesy song, I know. I could actually picture Izzzyy cringing, haha. But then again, I'm a hopeful romantic and I personally like the song. So, there... :) Chapter 21 is done. Just received the first beta-ed copy from Super Izzzyy so hopefully I'll be able to post it next week_ *crosses fingers*._

Oh and to **Andivegas**, I've been trying to send you a pm re:your question but it seems to be disabled or something. I don't want to put my response in here so if you could pm me your e-mail add, I'll just message you there. Thanks._  
_

_ BE SAFE EVERYONE!  
_


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

* * *

To my dear **IZZZYY**, thank you. As always :) You're my own 'I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing' in a purely, platonic way (hehe..) Are you cringing now?

* * *

Thanks to the leaked pics, the sun is extra brighter today *grins* Shout-out to my **chuva buddies**, we're all still squeeing and perving over the pics haha. And also, thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I'm so overwhelmed you guys. Tight hugs to all to show my appreciation (esp since I sucked at replying, so sorry).

* * *

Chapter 21

_Anthony is fucking doing it to me again._

With an exasperated sigh, Edward tried to mentally block the song that started playing in his head the moment he handed his car keys to the valet. _This is so not the time for my opinionated and narcissistic dick to go crazy. Go away, Anthony. _He expelled a breath and glanced furtively at Bella_. _They were walking towards the Four Seasons Hotel's entrance door, holding hands and both uncharacteristically quiet.

Except for the fucking song in his head that seemed to turn louder and louder as they neared the door.

"Holding Out For a Hero."

For some absurd reason, his loony dick considered it the best song to commemorate the event that would happen shortly.

_What's not to like, boss? You fit the song to a T. You're exactly the man this husky voiced chick was shouting for. What you're about to do is heroic, and I'm only trying to help. You're nervous and you need an uplifting song. Come on, man, admit it. It's such a bad ass entrance song, even if it's kinda gay. But then again, I'm no homophobe and I embrace my inner Boy George._

Edward mentally groaned. _Seriously, dipshit? You have an inner Boy George? Boy George? I'm about to do something important and you're distracting me with your inner Boy George? Fuck you, bastard!_

Anthony had the gall to scoff back at him. _Here we go again with the name calling. I am emotionally battered, boss. Name calling hurts. Like, a lot. I'm just keeping it real by saying that. Just like admitting I have an inner Boy George. There's nothing wrong with that. _

"Edward?"

Ignoring his dick, Edward turned his full attention to the one reason he was willing to do what he was about to do. "Yes, babe?"

"I think we better not hold hands. If they see us like this, it'll pre-empt everything," Bella suggested, looking at their clasped hands.

He nodded in agreement and let go. Good thing his dick listened and had stopped the irritating song already. He could at least think clearly now without the annoying background music.

A full minute passed before their pesky hands were at it again.

So did Anthony and his must-give-my-boss-a-background-music-for-this-event mood. This time, though, it was "Eye of the Tiger."

Edward felt like he was being led to a fucking fight or something. _For the love of God, just stop with the music, you crazy shit!_

_What? Boss, it's manlier, and yet so _peppy_!_

Squeezing his eyes shut, Edward tried to calm himself. _Fucktard, all I need from you is blessed silence. No fucking background music, however peppy you think it is! Shut. The. Fuck. Up!_

_Fine, but I have to say that silence will only make you more freaked out, boss. Whatever. You're on your own. _

Edward and Bella mutually stopped the hand holding again when they walked inside the hotel lobby. Both wore expressions resembling a couple of five-year-olds caught eating cookies before dinnertime.

_Although, it wasn't really cookies that you were eating again and again from the wee hours of the morning until it was time to go see Bella's family in their hotel, right boss? If I wasn't a secure dude, I would be jealous of Mr. Tongue and the Fingers and the amount of attention my Marie received from them._

_Shut up. _Edward nervously wiped his damp palms over his jean-clad thighs then glanced at Bella whose eyes were focused on the people sitting at the hotel's lounge. "I'll be the one to tell them, right?" he clarified. A couple of audible swallows punctuated the question.

To say he was nervous at the moment would be an understatement. _I'm fucking terrified._ Informing Bella's family about their present relationship..._I'm not a wimp. I just don't want to fuck this up. _He wasn't so sure he could look Charlie straight in the eye knowing what he had done, and planned to continue doing, to the man's pure and used-to-be innocent only daughter. And if Bella's protective father decided he wasn't the man he wanted for his daughter..._Fuck. Charlie has to approve of me or all hell will break loose._

But witnessing Edward lose his shit would only fuel the older man's disapproval and dislike of him. _I should have kept Bella's hymen intact. I should have done the wait-until-the-wedding-night thing and be considered 'The Gentleman Who Persevered Celibacy for Love.'_

Edward wondered if there was a chastity belt for men. _A belt won't do at all._ Perhaps a chastity cock sock? That would make more sense.

_Boss, celibacy and I are not friends. Not now, not ever. And I never get cold, 'cause I'm hot-blooded, so the sock is unnecessary._ _I don't need it. What I need, what we _both_ need, is for you to stop feeling guilty already. You and Bella are adults. Hell, you're each other's 'I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing!' So what if you ravished your girlfriend a few hours ago? You love her. You love each other. There's a natural need to taste, pound and penetrate your loved one as many times as humanly possible. Besides, I'm pretty sure Marie loved my moves. _

Let the sexually-charged penile gyrations begin.

Edward mentally rolled his eyes. What exactly had he done in his previous life that earned him the punishment of having a dick who thought he was a cross between Elvis and John Travolta with an inner Boy George?

_I do have some pretty hot moves, boss, if I say so myself. Humpa, bumpa, thumpa...yeehaw!_

"Yep," Bella confirmed with a nod.

The man with the psychotic dick slowed down his steps. _Anthony, leave me the fuck alone! And what moves? You hardened, lengthened and twitched. That's all you can do, moron. I'm the one with the moves here, not you._ "Do you think that's wise? I mean, they are your family."

"Dude, you volunteered," Bella reminded him pointedly, eyes still fixed on her parents.

_I was also deeply inside you at that time and I was feeling so fucking good, I'd have volunteered to shave myself bald for you._ "Right."

_Boss, you are already bald where it counts the most. The twins feel the breeze and they love it._

"Where's Alice?" Bella asked, looking around. "She has to be here for this. I hope to God Jess kept her mouth shut about our announcement."

"Jess is with Tyler. I'm pretty sure they're busy doing their thing. Maybe Alice is still in her room?" Edward suggested while taking deep breaths to calm down. Now if his cock would cooperate and stop talking about his balls, well, that would be very much appreciated.

Bella throw him a concerned look. "Babe? Are you okay?"

_She called me _babe. _Again._ "I'm fine." He smiled like an idiot, Anthony's antics forgotten.

"Hmm. One minute you're inhaling and exhaling like you're in some Lamaze class, and the next you're smiling like a man who got lucky last night." Bella rolled her eyes. "My craziness is starting to rub on you already."

Edward's idiotic smile turned even wider. "Baby, I did get lucky, not last night, but this morning. Multiple times, too."

Bella blushed. "Cut it out."

"And Lamaze class? Are we getting ahead of ourselves here?" He teased. "Not that I mind. I love babies."

Bella completely stopped walking upon hearing her boyfriend's pronouncement. "Really?"

Stopping as well, Edward nodded. "Really."

"_You_ love _babies_." Her voice was heavily-laced with the unspoken comment of "highly unlikely" in it.

"I love babies." Edward confirmed, facing Bella. "Especially babies made by us."

She melted. _Aww, Daddy Edward and Mommy Bella. What a future to look forward to._ "Me too."

Now they were both grinning like idiots as they gazed at each other.

_An-tho-ny aaand Ma-rie sit-ting in a tree. F-U-C-K-I-N-G. Giggity._

Edward wisely ignored his crudely singing dick.

"Care to share the joke?"

Both turned to look at Ness, who stood a couple of feet away from them, arms crossed in front of her chest and eyeing both of them shrewdly.

"No joke," Bella replied, reluctantly taking her eyes off her boyfriend to look at her younger cousin, grin still intact.

"No joke, just serious stuff," Edward continued with his own crooked grin still very much on.

"For two people supposedly talking about serious stuff, why are you grinning like a pair of batshit crazies, then?"

Bella tried to dim the grin on her face but failed. _Because we're already talking about Swan-Cullen babies when we basically just became a couple yesterday!_ "Because we're happy talking about serious stuff."

Ness chuckled. "Right. Whatever, you guys. I smell an announcement, a few tears from Aunt Renee and my Mom, a couple of deafening shrieks from my sister and a man-to-man talk between Edward, Uncle Charlie and Dad." She paused then shrugged. "But that's just me and my nose. Feel free to correct me anytime. Or now. Whatever."

_Bella's cousin has a very nosey nose, boss. I'm impressed. _

Edward pretended to think it over then shook his head. "Sorry, Ness. It's an announce-to-a-group kind of thing."

"Fair enough; I'll wait." Then, with a sassy wink a-la-Tyler at the both them, Ness rejoined the family.

"She scares me sometimes," Bella admitted with a nervous laugh as they continued walking.

"Maybe we're just that obvious," Edward muttered, feeling the nerves starting to attack him again. _Go to your happy place, Edward. Think about you and Bella, dancing while you sing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing..."_

As expected, hugs and kisses were exchanged the moment they reached the family. Bella was fussed over by her Mom and Aunt, alternately getting hugs and kisses on the cheeks from the two older women.

Ness rolled her eyes at them. "Sheesh, Mom, Aunt Renee, stop treating Bel like you haven't seen her in twenty years. You're creeping people out, including me."

Renee already looked like she was about to cry.

Vanessa looked too excited, for some reason.

"What is going on here?" Alice asked in amusement, watching her mother and aunt smother Bella.

"About time you got here. I'm starving," Ness grumbled.

"Sorry. Heidi and I barely slept at all. We chatted until the wee hours of the morning," Alice said then smiled at the woman beside her. "Hey guys, this is my newest BFF, Heidi Bradley. Heidi, meet my family. The tall man is my Dad, Phil, and the one beside him with the moustache is my Uncle Charlie, Bella's Dad. The two crazy women presently smothering my cousin are my Mom and Aunt Renee, who is Bella's Mom, and the starving kid is my baby sister, Ness." She glanced at Edward and giggled. "And you know E. Cullen and Bella already."

Phil and Charlie shook Heidi's hands in turns.

Vanessa released Bella to hug her daughter's newest BFF.

Renee looked at Heidi curiously but remained standing beside her own daughter. "You're Edward's girlfriend, right?"

Ness moved closer to Bella and gave Heidi her own version of the bitchface.

"No!" Edward denied vehemently. _Fuck! I'm about to tell them I'm in love with and dating their daughter and niece now, and they all thought I was still with Heidi? This is so not good. What a way to make a first impression as Bella's boyfriend._ "We broke up already." He winced at the squeaky way his voice sounded, cleared his throat, and then tried again. "We're no longer dating."

"Edward and I are just friends now, Mrs. Swan," Heidi seconded, feeling a bit uncomfortable with the way Alice's younger sister is glaring at her.

"Oh." Renee glanced at Bella who smiled at her.

"Mom, Heidi and I are friends, too," Bella clarified then looked at Ness. "Drop the face, Ness. If it wasn't for Heidi...well, erm. I just owe her a lot."

Ness _hmm-ed_, eyes still on the model. "You mean the H.E.A.? She's part of making it happen?"

"A huge part."

Ness turned to look at her cousin. "So there _is_ an H.E.A?"

Bella's cheeks reddened. "Definitely."

"Awesome!" Ness exclaimed, throwing Edward a smirk before offering Heidi a genuine smile. "Hi. Sorry about that. I'm just..." she shrugged.

Heidi smiled in return. "It's okay. I get it."

Nessie chuckled. "Good to know. For a long time, a pair of dense people never really got it."

Heidi rolled her eyes at Edward. "Tell me about it."

"What in the world are you two talking about? And what is H.E.A?" Alice asked, confused.

"I have something to say," Edward abruptly announced, looking at Bella for encouragement.

"Here?" Ness asked him incredulously. "Dude, believe me. You'll want us to be properly seated for this and with less people around."

Edward and Bella exchanged looks.

"I want to hear it. Now. Here."

Okay. Charlie had a deadly serious voice that totally made the hairs on the nape of Edward's neck rise. He swallowed with difficulty, his entire life flashing before him.

"Holding out for a Hero" started playing again in his head.

_Jesus Christ. What the fuck, Anthony?_

All eyes turned to stare at him expectantly.

_Look at the bright side, boss. Charlie and Phil will think twice about killing you in front of these people. _

If only the Chippendale-wannabe wasn't gyrating in time with the opening bars of 'Holding out for a Hero' when the prick said it, Edward would most likely have felt reassured. Now, his cock's perverted antics seemed to only emphasize the fact that Mr. Edward Cullen was a horny bastard who had corrupted sweet and innocent Bella – and planned to continue doing so, as often as she'd let him.

_This kind of bullshit thinking is so not helping me right now._ He cleared his throat. _Focus! Ignore your dick! Happy place!_ "Bella and I are together. I mean, um, we're officially a couple since, erm, after her birthday party." _Nice, doofus. Just say it like that. _He grimaced. _Fuck, that was lame._

Doofus needn't worry, though, because the response his announcement got – however pathetically it was delivered – was pretty positive.

Alice shrieked.

Heidi grinned.

Renee hugged Bella happily.

Vanessa clapped-bounced-clapped.

Ness looked smug.

Phil smiled.

Charlie was...blank.

_I knew Charlie would be the hardest one to convince here._ "Sir, I just want to assure you that I'm in love with your daughter and I will never hurt her in any way. I love Bella, and her happiness and well-being mean a lot to me."

Still no reaction.

Edward started to sweat even though the hotel lobby was fully air conditioned. Anthony got scared enough that the music abruptly stopped.

Bella whispered something to her mother and walked to stand beside Edward. Giving him an assuring smile, she entwined her hand with his then looked at her father. "Dad, we both know you like Edward, so please cut it out. This scare-the-boy-away act is only applicable to high-school Bella. Adult Bella is very much in love with this one, so I would appreciate it if you would be more welcoming and less threatening. Please. I'm keeping this one forever."

Edward reddened and may or may not have puffed his chest a little bit hearing what Bella said. _She's keeping me forever. She fucking used the word forever! I am her everything _and_ forever!_

Charlie's moustache twitched. Twice.

_Oh lookie, the hair twitches just like me, boss!_

Edward inwardly sighed. _Shut up, Anthony._

"Come on, Uncle Charlie. We all love Edward! Drop the Hitler impersonation already," Ness whined.

Vanessa and Phil laughed. "Welcome to the family, Edward."

Alice gave them both a hug. "Finally!"

Heidi pinched Edward's cheek then embraced Bella. "I'm so happy for you two."

"Thanks to you," Bella replied, kissing her cheek.

"You are meant to be together, Bella. You just needed a little nudge."

"More like a shove. A really forceful shove," Ness chimed in, grinning.

Alice giggled. "So true."

Renee gave both Bella and Edward a teary smile. "You have no idea how much I wanted this to happen. I didn't want to force you two into something, but I never really stopped hoping. Now that it finally did, I am so happy. I'm sure Esme will be, too, when she learns about this."

"Really, Mom? You hoped that Edward and I would end up together?"

Ness and Heidi exchanged looks then both rolled their eyes. Alice face palmed.

"Of course! All of us, actually, even your Dad," Renee replied, winking at her own husband.

Edward sneaked a look at Charlie and doubted it. Bella's Dad had liked him then, but he wasn't so sure now.

"Dad? It's your turn now. Come on," Bella prodded, narrowing her eyes at her father.

After what felt like an eternity to Edward, Charlie finally moved to stand in front of him. He was definitely taller than Bella's Dad, but Charlie had been Chief of Police for a long, long time. The authoritative presence was still very much there and paired that with the moustache... Charlie could still intimidate anybody. Charlie could even make a grown man like him wobbly kneed.

"Are you sure you love my daughter?"

"I'm in love with her, Sir. I love her very much." _Fuck!_ The pre-pubescent squeaky voice came out again.

Charlie sneered.

_The Moustache Man totally loves scaring you, boss. So not cool._

"I love her. So much," Edward confirmed, this time in a much surer, completely un-squeaky man-voice, meeting Charlie's eyes unblinkingly. He felt Bella squeeze his hand. He squeezed back, never tearing his eyes away from Charlie.

The ex-Chief grunted. "Well and good." There was a significantly long pause before he extended his hand to Edward.

"Welcome to our family."

Bella and the rest of her family, even Heidi, expelled their varying sighs of relief.

Edward shook his hand. "Thank you, Sir." _Thank fucking God. _

"You know the drill right? Hurt her, make her cry and I'll hunt you down and—"

"Nothing," Renee interrupted, frowning at her husband. "Come on, they're both adults and we have all witnessed over the years how well Edward took care of Bella. It was bad enough that you played the bad cop routine to your daughter's boyfriend even when she already asked you not to." She then turned and gave Edward a warm smile. "The Dwyer-Swan family highly approves of you, Edward. Believe me, we _all _do."

He'd received Bella's family's complete acceptance.

Edward blinked back tears. _Not again._ _What the fuck is wrong with you, Cullen? Keep it together!_ "T-thank you, Renee."

Seeing Edward's expression, Bella pursed her lips together and turned to give him a hug. They whispered words back and forth and seemed to be lost in their own bubble for awhile.

Alice felt a tiny bit envious. Her mind conjured a certain tall, blonde man with a southern drawl who seemed not too impressed with her. _Just my luck – the only attractive man I've met here, and he wasn't interested._

Heidi wistfully watched Edward and Bella as well. The couple proved that, however rare it was, true love was still out there. _Edward _himself proved that there were still men who could love completely, the way he loved Bella. _Just stay away from rabid, ambitious snakes in sheep's clothing, Heidi_. Or, in this case, Armani suits.

Vanessa dropped a quick kiss on Phil's cheek.

Renee and Charlie smiled at each other.

Ness missed N like it was nobody's business. _He is so getting laid on his birthday._

"I think I'm gonna cry now," Alice joked after a couple of minutes. Watching the pairs reaffirm their love thanks to E. Cullen and Bella's cutesy PDA would've been more bearable if she was with someone as well. But she wasn't. She was alone, with no possible prospects on the horizon, and she was getting old..._Snap out of it, Alice Dwyer!_

Bella untangled herself from Edward to smile at her cousin. "I did that a lot early this morning. So please, no more crying, even if they are happy tears."

Ness sighed. "Looks like I missed one epic party last night. I wonder what happened to make these two finally figure out what's going on." She gave her older sister the evil eye.

"Did you two even sleep?" Alice curiously asked, looking at Bella then Edward, ignoring her baby sister's full-out resentment.

"We had a lot to talk about so no, not really," Bella admitted.

"Of course, three years of friendship, then this." Renee smiled at the new couple. "That's understandable. It's good that you actually talked about it."

"True. You have a lot to discuss, definitely a lot to cover," Charlie agreed then paused. Looking pointedly at Edward, he added. "You did cover _everything,_ right?"

Bella shrugged. "No. We didn't have much time, Dad."

Charlie went full on moustache-twitchy, scowly, my-daughter-has-been-sexually-compromised-so-must-kill-the-pervert-now agitated Dad. "That's not an excuse, Isabella!"

"Huh? Why? It was almost four in the morning when we started, Dad. However happy and excited Edward and I were then, it wasn't possible. I mean, we were both tired to begin with," the oh-so-keen daughter replied.

_Fuck._ Edward mentally face palmed. He tried to send Bella a message but his girlfriend wasn't even looking at him. Personally, he wasn't even sure himself if he should acknowledge Charlie's none-too-subtle reference to his and Bella's sex life, but then again, it was already implied that they all expected them to be doing it. Charlie was just being a concerned Dad. So... "We did, sir. I mean, we covered everything that was _important_."

Bella looked at Edward then to her Dad and back again, brows knitting. Then she heard Ness' mumbled "Oh, brother" and it clicked. _Dad just asked us about condoms. _She cringed. _Eeek. I'm part embarrassed, part offended and completely horrified that my own Dad felt the need to check if my boyfriend and I practice safe sex. _

Refusing to blush (like that was possible, frankfurter her life!), the brunette wrinkled her nose and frowned a little at her father. "Dad, I'm twenty- five-years-old, and I've always been responsible. Granted, I never really had to think about sex since I only started having it yesterday..." She paused then corrected herself, "I mean two days ago. And it was with Edward, of course. It's not like I would let other men kiss and touch even taste me." She visibly shuddered at the thought.

_Jesus Fucking Christ._ "Bella? Um..." _Fuck._ Edward cleared his throat and threw her a pointed look. "Just get to the point, babe." _And stop divulging information about out sex life, especially to your family and my ex._

Ness fake-coughed "T-M-I," which made her older sister giggle. Renee, Vanessa and Heidi looked thoroughly amused while Phil started fidgeting. Charlie wore a constipated expression on his face upon hearing what his only daughter had said. _I should've kept my mouth shut._

Bella took a deep breath, oblivious to the reception her little speech was getting. "Okay, in short, please give me the benefit of the doubt, Dad. No, scratch that. Give us – _Edward and I_ – the benefit of the doubt. I assure you, we deserve it."

She could've successfully pulled off the offended I'm-a-responsible-adult-I-don't-really-need-this look if not for her red face and ears. _Dang it, even the tip of my nose feels warm. I've never been this embarrassed in my entire life. _

It was a good thing that Charlie had certainly learned his lesson well – Edward had a feeling he'd never ask a question like that ever again, for fear of the T.M.I. _It's best for me to be on a need-to-know basis when it comes to Bella, _Charlie thought_. She's right. She's an adult. I don't want to experience hearing her talk about that ever again._ Renee walked over to her husband and patted his back, chuckling. Heidi was trying hard to not even crack a smile, which was pointless, because Ness' grin was wide enough for the two of them anyway. Vanessa did her own silent consoling to her still-fidgeting husband.

"Guys, I have something to announce as well!" Alice exclaimed, effectively changing the subject.

When everybody's attention was on her, Pixie beamed at Heidi then clapped-bounced-clapped. "I'm moving back to Seattle!" she shrieked then punctuated it with a very enthusiastic "squeeeeeeeeeeeee."

_I think my balls shrank at such high pitch squeee-ing_, Edward thought, wincing a little. He restrained himself from feeling the twins up to check if they were still hanging in there. Pun intended.

"For real?" Bella asked with a grin.

Alice nodded. "You're looking at Seattle's own Rachel Zoe."

Pause.

Heidi couldn't stop the giggle that escaped her mouth when only she and Edward seemed to recognize the person Alice mentioned.

"Sometimes I wonder if I'm really from this family." Alice said with a shake of her head. "Bonus points to E. Cullen, who's the only one who knows Rachel Zoe. To the rest of you, she's this really famous celebrity stylist."

"And Edward knows her. Hmm." Ness turned to look at him, tongue in cheek. "Why, future cousin-in-law, I didn't know you were that fashion forward." She gave Edward's infamous black Nikes a pointed look.

"Lay off, baby sister. Rachel used to be Heidi's stylist."

Heidi nodded. "But now, _Alice_ is my new stylist."

Alice beamed some more. Excited chatter and a combination of Alice-Vanessa squeeing ensued. Edward turned to Bella and explained. "I met Rachel Zoe not because she used to be Heidi's stylist, but because she was the stylist hired when our team was featured on some magazine."

Ness chuckled. "Riiight."

Bella grinned seeing Edward rolled his eyes at her younger cousin. "Ness, please stop teasing my boyfriend." _Or I'll talk about your own._

It wasn't said out loud, but the message was clearly implied by the left eyebrow lift.

Ness raised both hands in mock-surrender then winked at the both of them before sauntering over to her mother and sister, who were chatting animatedly while the others looked on.

"So..."

Bella gave Edward an enquiring look. "So...?"

He beamed. "I'm officially Bella Swan's boyfriend."

"Looks like it," she agreed with a shrug. "Not that it amounts to anything. I'm just Bella."

Edward wrapped his arms around his girlfriend (insert Bella Swan's boyfriend's goofy smirk at that thought) and pulled her closer. "I will not allow that kind of talk, you hear me? You're a wonderful person and I became the luckiest bastard in the world when you chose me to be your boyfriend." His face turned even more serious as he levelled his face with Bella's and staring directly at the pair of chocolate brown eyes stated, "I love you."

And with that pronouncement, Bella Swan turned into a puddle of goo. With a wobbling chin and teary eyes, she mumbled "I love you, too" before pulling Edward into a tight hug, on tip toes and all.

_A perfect moment. _

Just like what had happened an hour ago in their living room.

Edward burrowed his face in Bella's neck, grinning to himself as he basked in everything Bella: her smell, the silkiness of her hair, and the softness of her body...fuck, he was so happy. For the first time in his life, he could honestly say that he was fucking happy. The universe had finally given in and cut him some slack.

Or so he thought.

Two weeks later, Edward was sure he had somehow jinxed everything just by thinking that.

* * *

Songs mentioned:

Holding out for a Hero - Bonnie Tyler

Eye of a Tiger - Survivor

* * *

A bit of angst next chapter? We'll see :)


End file.
